(the first of 3 stories that lead up to 'The Second Tartarus War'.) One day, in a freak accident, Rarity is blinded. Finally able to leave the hospital, she tries to catch a taxi cab, but actually ends up in a police carriage. The officer doesn't have the heart to tell her her mistake, so he takes her home and drops her off. The next day, the same thing occurs, and the officer, Officer Blue, decides to be her personal chauffeur. He takes her anywhere she wants to go, describing the scenery she can no longer see. Eventually, they fall in love. But can his simple deception about being a cab driver break them apart? Inspired by a contact lens commercial.
Chapters (0)
There are a few issues dealing with quotes, for example, this is what you have: "Are you stalking this mare?" Blue shook his head and banished the thought from his mind.
This is how it should be, Are you stalking this mare? Blue shook his head and banished the thought from his mind.
I haven't even read this, but I read the description. and well...I have to read this.
NOW. But anyways, after I read the decription I could only think of two things.
and
Now, off to reading!
1237583 My computer wont let me do italics. Srry! It sucks.
1237605 There is a trick! before every word that's supposed to be a thought type this: [ i ] without the spaces around the 'i' then, afterwards type: [/i ] again without the spaces. Then, it'll look like this!
1237615 Awwwww! Thank you!
1237633 Sure, of course!
This has quite a bit of potential in it. It'd be a shame to see it go to waste. 
Good first chapter, looking forward to the next. Also shouldn't it be lose instead of loose?
I just want to say that I am absolutely in love with this story idea. It could be so great, so very great, and I feel like you could really take it places. There's just something that I feel it necessary to point out:
While your descriptions do "work", so to speak, and do keep the story moving, they don't really work. I don't feel myself being absorbed in the story. I still feel like a reader, not like a watcher. It's your duty as a writer to put the words together, make the descriptions vivid, so I can feel like I'm IN the action, not reading about it. What are some of the personal struggles Blue has to face? What about Rarity? Let us know what your characters are thinking and feeling. Show more interaction between the pair.
Do that, and you'll have a gem of a story.
Hope I could be of some help, and I would just like to say again that I do love the story. Keep it up
Lose: Opposite of win
Loose: Not tight
(Think the extra "O" as a hemorrhoid on the word. Hemorrhoids are never tight.)
Obvious.
I think the word you are looking is "his".
I thought it was well-written, but there are a few plot-holes:
1. Is Rarity blind for life? Or for just a period of time?
2. Why did the doctors just boot her out like that? They knew full well she was completely blind, and just let her out into the streets where pregnant mares get stabbed homo ponies. The least they would have done is given her a partial-time carer.
3. Why is it so bad that Officer Blue is a Police Officer and not a taxi driver? Even if he told her a few months down the track. If I know Rarity, I'd imagine the conversation would go something like this:
Otherwise, liked!
1237714 I'm just starting out on this site, and I have like six other stories of mine to keep up with. Some help would be greatly appreciated. I have a helper on one of my other stories. maybe you and a few others could help with this one. i need it. honesty like yours is a blessing.
thank you.
1237726 It's bad because he lied to her. Rarity does NOT enjoy being lied to. it makes her go like THIS
1237736
Help, you say? Well, I can't be of much use, seeing as how I'm much too on again, off again. But I have a friend on here who'd love to help. Tell him Spencer Parks sent 'ya http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Ralastas
1237726 Yes, Rarity is blind forever... Unless Twilight finds a sight spell, but probably not. It has been a few months since the operation, which i will edit into the story. I will also fix those errors in grammar. Would you like to be one of my story helpers?
Evening. I've given Mr. Handsome Devil up there plenty of plot inspiration for his own stories, and would be glad to assist you in yours if needed. :3
1237764
Yeah, all right. Why not?
1237752
But, that doesn't make much sense. It's been pretty shown several times that Rarity has no problem with lying to someone to protect their feelings or because she's embarrassed of the truth, so this really wouldn't be any different at all. In fact, the only lie is that he's really an officer, which I seriously can't imagine her getting upset over. In fact, she wouldn't have bought it to begin with after finding out that he's seen a lot (seriously, she thinks he's a taxi driver at that point. What could he have possibly seen that would make him so upset).
Other than those issues, I think it's a pretty great concept.
static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/You+have+my+attention+_eb66a7fbd81b079ab6499b4015414251.jpg
Yes go on....
SO bucking beautiful.....
For once I actually feel sorry for Rarity.....
Amazing story. Keep it up. Fave and like for you!
1238189 Rarity is kind of a hypocrite. i.e. The episode where the CMC become gossip columnists. Rarity snoops in Sweetie Belles things, and then gets pissed when she snoops thru her stuffs. And Officer Blue was in a FUCKING WAR with FUCKING TARTARUS! His best friend died right in front of him. And, also, it's more that he wants to spare her from being embarrassed. Plus, he decided to be her chauffeur under the guise of a cab driver. How would you feel if you were blind, and the cab driver that drove you everywhere turned out to be a cop? Probably a little weird. And remember, I got the idea from a contact lens commercial.
1238197 Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
I will watch you now.
1237961 I'd like your help with it.
i find it weird that she lost her sight forever it would make a better story if she got her sight back after a couple of chapters
btw great story
could i know what the name of this commercial is?
1240559 Her eyes were destroyed. However, like I said, Twilight may find a spell. Not likely, but I'm the author and I can do what ever I fuckin' wanna do, and I don't have to explain myself when magic is involved.......... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U Mad Brony?
1238226
To be fair, it was understandable for her to get upset in that case, since the lies the CMC told were used to make them all look bad, which is much different from what's going on here. Also, I don't think you understood what I meant (I probably wasn't clear enough). I know why he's upset from the things he's seen, because it's mentioned in the description and his thoughts. Rarity just thinks he's a cab driver, so she doesn't know about everything he's been through. That's why I said it would be confusing for her to hear how upset he is, because as far as she's concerned, he's just been driving people around.
Anyway, personal issues aside, I'm still enjoying the story and I love the idea behind it.
1241950 Think of him as a new york cab driver. They see some crazy shit. and just because you're a cab driver doesn't mean that you haven't seen shit. maybe she assumes that someone close to him has died, which wouldn't be that far off.
More! Goddamnit, MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
ok.. 2 things i have to say right now
1st: yay for update.. the story is really good and i like it so far..
..... you make fluttershy sad! 
2nd: On hiatus
well.. i'm following this story and hope it goes on
1369778 Ummmmmm..... I am currently un-publishing and republishing this story every time a new idea hits me. The Tartarus War will be featured in other stories, and eventually, it may have it's own. There will also be a story about a second Tartarus war. not sure why fluttershy sad, but...
Gangnam Style!
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Sexy Lady!
I'm listening to this son right now!
1372836 ok.. i did not know that.. i tent to see the worst outcome very often and i have seen way to many good stories go on indefinite hiatus or meet a premature ending because of whatever reason the author had..
and making fluttershy sad is never a good thing to do..
so yeah.. go on with your stories (if i ever decide to use another browser than IE i will follow you but until then i'll just fav your stories..)
1372836
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dlwLiD659YSlfFDDmiPkuk8hlK2GPXYZRdOk6Dh7AsPcUJpPeQAYIBOkdUz7QNEupGuOW5WRxfzzvD3Qk05i/nneHuhJrRzBCEIBCEIBCEIBTWfnGek32hQqaz84z0m+0INrYURlkhsS6SR/Mdzz+tXuH0KTjkZl1H7x+wAjgTuZ4DlqdFncPeZA31cRx0DyPBbKwoU2B3lQSTEaTA34qv8AbfW4rm2gFVwa5pBlrSTvP2rR4GzyVNzHASXEzPMAfYqa5s2PBNLqkOMe0fUQm7VheD+8e1zSWvb1SA4aaZge9KjO7issbRlG8e3fMDHrmCFsbF4LQsZ0joGi+nVmdYJOnrjSYlX2C4gHAQd9QtfDeuLm8s+Wqo1CBzVlQqhUlO5TNrcdbsW7FeMeCI7V6dUVdQupOmyYdWRBmkNEPUdN6me5NJfGO1QTlCipHdeatREPLQISFV2vemLi4gKsubrjyVh4rvOoKpsREepWNSsACSVRYnd9VzuyfuVcl8Z2p8Ur1M4LACB8oHl7ee3Yk6+KVKhyuJDZ0H3nimm15+UD2r0cBqVuuwhog7/OjaOS4rlu9vSxxxxnZro78pwB0I1Hs+1X2VVdLCvJNa3ZwHWI5xqoMRxerRZ1WtdHMGT6io2wzvLLcTYqWvqMpE6mXR2dvqKgxjAGPpOkuhrHEAREhpPEdiQwOo+tduqvyg5Nm/NmABHAxPFaHET+6qeg/wB0prvdVts6jiWL+ed4e6EmnMW887/T7oSa0VCEIQCEIQCEIQCms/OM9JvtChU1n5xnpN9oQdJwa9/dtYAJ6w/7nbpqtdGNteA+rZQ9G6raYa52gh0/1GPYrrFMbYWMyNa4lxLg5s6NMa9p013hRI6uWtTRLCqvWId84eoifzXu3Z5Os9zXbmHt34zLhz5Ec+Kft7WjXb1XOpniARI7NRq1em27Q1wdq5jTDoiYG/jGoUf2xt7pW9qNqBzKwAblMRJ1kbBZDCcTdb1iwtcaZMh0bHnppEbhaS1d5Rwa7t8R96t8TtKNSlleWsyjqnQZVabl3DO4zrSSzxMEBWltdToua2uMi3qGm90smMwmB6xt7FrMOxIOgtcCDqCDMjvW0z5dxzZY8Wpo14PIp9j5Has4LnUFWtC67VrGdWYuOeimbVlVTrnXsXtlwrIWNWrA0SzqxKhq3WiRq4iAFWpMXFyqytcToPFKXOJDafDtULHu34qNraMV2gtOsxvqqPHazQyBAkj1AiU1cvJ20PE9nJV1TDnFhqPmNNp9u4E8PWs88um3ix72VpXO2q0OBVCWk8JgeA/NZahTl2g7vzJO/irHDcccx2WJHEHcHv4HsXPY7s/8pqe0dHpDUa9wJDhmcMrj8mCdA7cRqNZ8F4xDF21YDZaQNWu0I7e0do0UOJYe0l9cyzcwNSf9PPt0S1Zo8lpq5upBGuvzvZqPqVd42qzGbnRzCcT8mXEAFx060jZXNxc1HUX5mNacjpAMx1Ss1aw4Exry5femmVi1r/Qf7p0K0uPTPPD5c6xbzzvD3Qk05i3nneHuhJowCEIQCEIQCEIQCms/OM9JvtChU1n5xnpN9oQdNs7TNRpdrT77l4NCCvFhiDjTY0bNBH/c5NPuGt31KnHHfpe+TjO0dN5Bls9+yZq4jUIIL8oO4Gn17pN9zm2Q2hK2nh/6YZea308Oc3jmP67VHVu6QAyh08ZaBwGxzHjP1Jz4JKXr4QSJC3ww8U9sc8s76KPvWnTII8EgaeR2eg40nDgPknvb9ylr0i0wVCXLqn8fx/EYfmznyuLDpmWkNuBkO2bdh8dx4raWl6IHHtXMKrARBEgqfCsdr27fJhoqMHyZdlIHKYOiwz8Nx7x7a4+SZe+nVxdAheDcRxWBodN3fOoPHouafbCjxHGbqo4Gi9jGng4az2kLDK3H3GuOPL03NxiYHGSqe5xF7zDSI5/rdZvLWOr3Ned4EtH25vFMU72pMZWEccrpPqLQqcvtt+LKL+3ZGsyf1sE00cylaVGoN2kbbRx7QvMuLsjQS49u3erXpl7T13hW1rbZqWR2gIIPisvhdaq+7cAGuo0SASQes4kiWHbQgxzjtWubU171y+XLbbGKUU2gFjgCWwHdro17eSrcZs2sZmaGhziAHOcToDJ0B03AkjTTvT1/ilJlw9xYXljdQP4yNNCY+TueErO3V/5V7n1CDPyW8hBho00CrO2+GPe3t95mY5ruqQIjjP3L7h1MVRBLWhgEzy2Og1II+tJUaJeN+/nH5fYrHCLQDNJk6SNtBOnbzjsCN8vS1q4bQfGRhDjtEt07dYhV2LYS6myoQ4FuUx/EdDOu0bcFoLekGMJ4j5XedY8NFQ4lUL2v9F0D/SVdzy23r05hi/nneHuhJpzF/PO8PdCTRiEIQgEIQgEIQgFNZ+cZ6TfaFCvVN8EEbggjwQdGsaJFFpG5ze8Uu62JOqyv+I3/AMIG+gfWAE66AVYC+f4hf/CP66391a4eXhOmeWHK9tzRpQFJnWD/AMRP/hH0lb+6vn+IX/wj+ut/dVfyXe6txjoDKycpV1zP/EL/AOEf11v7q0fR7Bb6+bNqylUIBcWC6cHtE5ZdTdXDhr2cRzUXK1PGNDeWgeFRXFgWlZt3SOoDBEEb/vK/91N4Pd3F3XZb0aeepUMNb5SsJgEmSasAAAmexbeP+Rlh0yz8OOSwcIUDnLz0hs7iyf5O4ZQFQGHMbcOqOboD12srHLoRuqb44/8ATZ/VV/uLo/8AXPplf49+1z5SCnra44FUWHvrV3FtG2NQgSQzyzoHMxU0HaUziNldW7Q+raOpsJgPPlspPIPFTLPZKy8nnxzmtL4+K43crT2slwAE+MaDXdL4Teksc4saHB+WZJBE9vcd/wAlkR0gcNmj+ut/dQOkDhENGm3Xrad373tPrXNL9uq5Wx1ujjBMsmdM0jTXkR3x3L7j1423tnFoLalTqAjUy7cg9gk+C5TWxiszK51Mt8o3M0l9cZ2yWyD5XrDM1wnmCo6/Sao+M4zRMZqlYxO8TVVs8+WmUw06P0JssjKlbRrXdVo9Enn3x605idyZ8owlobxEiTw2KwfRyndXhFK2FLNOVtN1y+m52hPUY+uMwgHZWb+j9/5XyDnWoqg5fJG/GfN/Dk+E/K7N1ll3dtMelk6+bUa9tSDpIdxOvFQUrAAAuOndHdKy+N/CbOsaNxQNKoBJBfV1B4girDm76gkaFI/4jfy/+yt/dUaazySV0G8tRSaGDdwnXhOmnjKVsLh7iMjczuqXNjfiCsRU6RvcZcJPM1Kx+s1V9o9JajCSwZSdDlqVhI7YqqxfJ1p1uzta7qeRzIkkyXNG/MSSTvw5Je9wcspPfUcGwx+m/wA08VzIdMa/8Tvpq/8AeXmr0trOaWuLnNOhBq1yD3g1dUZ8qQxbzzvD3Qk1LdXBqPLzAJOw2HYJUSKhCEIBCEIBCEIBCEIBCEIBCEIBbn9luPOsjeXLNTSoU3EfxN+GWwc3xYXCe1YZaXoqP/5cT/8Aas//AGWyC5/bD0eZRu23dDW2v2+XpOG2Z0F49bg7/XHBT/szb8EdQuTpVvLmla2/MUhVpm5qDvBZSB/nfyVn0Hp/HGE1sLcQLi1cK9m5x+aTDmk8gXOH/wAjf4VRUsSZVxqypUDNvbV7a3t/5mMrNl/fUeX1D6fYgS/ayf8ArF5/mf7GrIrXftZH/WLz/M/2NWRQbr9oFD4JbWFnT6tOpbU7qtH/AJtaqXavj5WQNDWzsJ5lRfsmxUsxCnbO69vdk0a9I6teHggEt2kOgg7jXmpbnGLfErG3o1qrbe7s2+SpvqBxp16PzWuexrjTe2IBIg6666JdH7ijhtYXTqtKvWpB3welSzOb5QtLQ+tULQ3I2c2VpJJAHVGqChx6wFC6r0WmRSq1KYPMMe5oPqC+YLhZuK9Oi0hudwBcdmN3c938rWhzj2ApStWL3FziS5xJcTxJMknxWm6NXFO3tris25p07p7PJ0G/vA9jSSarg9rC1ry1oY3rbVHajRBoukNxTxLCjWotDXYZV8m1oAn4FUMUi6N3NLQCfSPFc0XQOgHTZwuHtxC7e60q0qlKu2q+o+WvaRNNoDusDGumhKxOJ2rKdVzadVtZgPVqNDgHDgYeAQY3BCDR/soP/WLP/N/2uTfS3opdXOJ3r6VGoaZuq48qRlpNioQc1Z0MaAd5KU/ZR/4xZ/5v+1y1NHpo20xnELa6Gexurmsy4YdQ2XkCo0bgjSY1gTu1qCr/AGw9J6NzVtqNGoK3wWiKdSuNRVfpmyu+c0ZZniXHvXPVp/2gdCn4bdGnOejUGe3q7ipTO2o0zCQD4HYhZhAIQhAIQhAIQhAIQhAIQhAIQhAIQhAIQhAIQhAK6wzpfcW9J1KkaTWPGV4NCg4vbOaKjn0y54ng4mIHJUqEFjh+OVqNZ1ai7JUeKjTkaGiKrS1waxoDWiHGAAIgREBe8FxqvaVM1ANbUkEF1KnUc0jUFhqMcWHXdscEthNyKdelUdMMqMcY3hrgTHbAWhq9JaZuWVJfDaFxSJ60E1BcZYGbMG/vWzrPyiOCCrxzpDc3r5r5alSZLhRpse4wB1nU2BzoAGhmFUFqvW4nTIuGF7mGq6k5tQBxEMD81N0uL8hL2kGTrSbI1kfcDxalSqPfVL6nlHeTqczRfIqukzLiCI476oKIUydgd48V9FIwTBhu+m3fyV3h+IUm0XUjUe3JcMrMIaTnDWuaYAPVfq0idN9RGvy1xhgt6jH65jVc0DOHtc9rQDna4Nc0lrczXg6NMQXSApHUiBJBAOxhfI4q8xvFmVaNJrXGWMotIObdjC07uLYE6QJ1K+YVi1Nlu+jVBc1zs4bG1RjR5N0z8k9djhvlfOpAQUzaLiYAJPIDX1LzC02I45Tq1Ls53tNepTqMqwZIYHZmPAMhri4O0nWm3TiPFLpFTbdOuYLntbSawHTyjmsYyo+oYIl4a8kaz5Q6yJIJ9H+kdxaOL7Yta8a5/JU3uboR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img.humorsharing.com/media/images/1207/i_hilarious_moar_pictures_022_501591bd2c4bc.jpg
do MOAR of this
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1618915 No. That will take place later. The 1st war will be written after as a prequel, and the 2nd war will be written after the other stories are finished.