Breadcycling on a Squashed River
Discord prided himself in being able to make the most fun he could out of a situation, no matter how much he disliked it on principle. While in the statue, he had invented two hundred new games. Perhaps more? Had he forgotten some? Maybe. Either way, some were staring-based, like tracing the paths of birds to make a mosaic or some such artwork. Others were card games or board games that he just imagined in literally-insane detail.
And that was without magic.
Now that he had magic, well, he wasn't going to let something like fillysitting his future mortal enemies keep his good mood down for too long. Hence why he was riding a tricycle made of bread while wearing a red and white conductor outfit. Everywhere his breadcycle went, a river of pumpkin juice formed in its wake. Attached to the back of his ride was a rope, pulling along a line of six small purple boats. Each one had a filly riding inside it. Pinkie Pie and Twilight seemed to be in awe, for very different reasons while Rarity and Rainbow were simply confused by what was going on now yet trying to enjoy the ride none the less. Fluttershy was, unsurprisingly, scared of the swaying boat on the strange river, as was Applejack to a lesser extent.
"Umm, Mr. Discord?"
He turned his head around a full ninety degrees before allowing his body to spin around, smiling calmly at them with an elbow on one knee, his breadcycle peddling and steering itself. "Yes, O Marshmallowy one?" Discord asked to Rarity, third in line, while Pinkie Pie giggled from the front.
Rarity almost pouted at the nickname, but kept her politeness up. "I don't mean to sound rude, but we are heading deeper into the forest. Should we not be leaving?" she pointed out, glancing back to the edge of the forest as it got further away.
"Sometimes the quickest way out is further in," Discord answered mysteriously.
"But...no it's not!" Twilight refuted in confusion, sitting fourth in line. "The fastest way between two points without teleporting is a straight line."
"Are we teleporting? Do you have some super secret ancient teleporter hidden deeeeep within this forest that no outsider has been allowed to see for a bagillion years!?" Pinkie asked in excitement, leaning halfway out of her boat in excitement. Almost- no, scratch that, she did fall over. The fluffy bit of his tail came up, catching her and pushing the filly back into her boat. The pink earth pony giggled uncontrollably from the experience.
"Do you really?! Cause that would be sooo AWESOME!" Rainbow cheered in glee from behind Twilight.
Discord gave the two very approving looks. "The only ancient teleporter here is myself, girls," Discord answered smugly to their confusion. "However, I have absolutely no idea where exactly we are, so I need to find a cave or something for you all to stay in so I can check around for somebody that can help you find your families."
"Oh. I understand, thank you," Rarity answered in an impressive imitation of a noble lady's mannerism.
Was she a noblepony's daughter? The diamonds for cutie marks didn't really narrow that possibility down, but if she was, she would definitely be from Canterlot if so, but Discord would have been surprised if there wasn't at least one highborn pony in the group.
Actually, now that he thought about it, he was a bit surprised that they were all female, but ponies had always been leaning a bit more towards matriarchy than patriarchy. It need not be said that both paled to anarchy.
"Hey, um, Mister Magic? Not that I'm not grateful for everything, but can I get out of the boat and walk? I need ta stretch my legs," Applejack requested, absently patting at her hair out of habit.
"How about this?" Discord counter with a snap of his talons, Applejack's boat elongating from front to back, the other fillies looking on in surprise as they watch the boat expand.
"Not exactly what I was hoping for, but thanks," Applejack said, a bit awkward as she began to pace the boat and get the blood rushing through her hooves.
Didn't like sitting still, the accent? Definitely from a farm. An apple farm, by her name and cutie mark. Very unimaginative.
"Can I have a bigger boat too!?" Pinkie Pie asked hopefully.
"No," Discord shot down immediately.
"Hey, that's not fair!" Rainbow spoke up.
"Then it's a good thing I never said I was fair, eh little ponies?" Discord said smugly before raising a brow. "Rainbow, is that other pegasus still shivering in a ball behind you?"
"Well, she was kind of poking her head out until you said anything," Rainbow informed, sounding clearly annoyed. With Discord or Shy, the draconequus wasn't quite sure.
"She's not sick or anything, right?" Twilight asked in concern.
"No, I checked, she's just more yellow-belly than most yellow ponies are," Discord answered flatly.
"Haha, good one- oh, buck, I think she's crying now!" Rainbow said, reeling back in discomfort and concern.
"Come on, dear, I'm sure he didn't mean it!" Rarity called to the end of the line, giving Discord an imploring look.
Discord sighed as he heard the soft sobbing of the little feathered pony. He held out his hand, her little boat instantly appearing in his grasp. The rest of the fillies looked between where the sixth boat had been and where it now was. Especially Rainbow, who had been staring right at Shy when it happened.
He ignored them, looking down at the pink maned pegasus, who was meeting his gaze with uncertain eyes. Not exactly terrified, but still scared and wary. "Okay, what is it with you? You've been curled back up into a shivering mess ever since I put together this little boat ride."
She ducked her head, saying something into her mane.
"Speak up or I'm taking your mane off until you can talk properly," Discord warned, hearing more than one yelp as the others clutched their hairs. Mostly Rarity, looking like he just threatened to steal her soul.
Fluttershy took a moment to calm herself some, poking her head up to stare into his eyes. "I...I can't swim."
Discord blinked. There were a thousand things he probably should have said or done: the waters were only as deep as he wanted them to be, the entire stream was breathable, he wasn't going to let her fall off, give her some life preserver floaties, put a railing on her boat, make her walk or fly if it bothered her so much.
But then her green eyes kept looking to him with hope, like she wanted him to keep her safe. Ultimately, he rolled his eyes and created a basket on the front of his breadcycle, putting her boat in it. "Fine, you can just sit here for now."
"Sir, is this safe to drink? I'm getting thirsty." Twilight voiced curiously.
"Yeah, me too!" Rainbow spoke up.
"As the pirates would say: Drink up me fillies!" Discord encouraged with a grin.
Without further adieu, both fillies tipped over to get a mouthful- or several mouthfuls in Rainbow's case. "Hmm, pumpkin juice!" Twilight declared happily.
"That's what this is?" Rainbow asked, coming up for air. "Huh, I don't think I've ever had this stuff before. Not bad though."
Discord shook his head in amusement, noting Rarity looked very grossed by the idea of drinking in such an unrefined way. Applejack sat down, her boat shrinking again yet somehow not disrupting the others. Yet she didn't make any move to take a drink. He looked to Pinkie Pie expectantly. "Not a fan of pumpkin?" he asked curiously, surprised she hadn't already tried to jump in.
"Oh no, I am! I just, um, go to go pee. Not super badly or anything, but I realllly don't want to put any more drinks in me right now," Pinkie Pie answered with a slight awkward grin.
Discord shrugged in acknowledgment, making a mental note to stop soon if they didn't find a cave.
He flinched as the breadcycle's tires gave an overdramatic screech as it came to a sudden stop, the fillies all making noises of surprise as they nearly or even did fall over in their boats. He gave Pinkie a blank look. "You didn't pee your boat, right?" he asked, just to be safe. The earth pony merely shook her head. "Oh good. Now what is the big idea little miss show stopper?" Discord asked, turning around in his seat to see Shy had stretched out her hindlegs and forelegs to press the brakes on the handles of the breadcycle. Which was amusing and impressive, even if he wouldn't admit it.
"I-I'm really, s-sorry, but-" she stuttered out under his stare, pointing to the path before them.
Discord looked entirely unimpressed as he saw a family of bunnies hoping across the path.
"What's the hold up up there?!" Rainbow called impatiently.
"Did you get a flat?...Can breadtires get flats?" Twilight asked, confused and concerned.
"It's fine. Shy just didn't trust my breadcycle to not flatten some bunnydestrians," Discord called over his shoulder before giving the little pegasus a warning look. "This is going to be a running gag between us, isn't it?" he asked with his arms crossed.
Shy ducked her head under his gaze. shrinking into her boat basket.
Discord grumbled to himself. Children were always so weird for him. He didn't care if they were running in terror and screaming their lungs out- as long as it was him that was terrorizing them. Then he knew nothing would actually hurt them. But he couldn't stand when kids got like this, all vulnerable and hopeful and ready to burst into tears.
"Awww! They're so cute!" Pinkie Pie cooed, leaning out the side to get a good look at them.
Discord rolled his eyes, snapping his talons. They, river and all, were suddenly on the other side of the line of of bunnies. The fluffy creatures looked surprised by the happening, but cautiously went back to their own journey as the breadcycle continued to bread onwards.
"I had no idea magic could do all of this," Rarity remarked as she looked at the pumpkin juice river before frowning. "But I suppose I have no idea what I knew before."
"I don't think it's supposed to be able to do this, actually," Twilight commented, scratching her head thoughtfully with her hoof.
"I'm pretty sure magic can do this since, you know, magic IS doing this," Rainbow pointed out with a smug look.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "I know that, but I feel like something isn't adding up! I think...I was studying magic before all this. Cause my brain understands how he can do stuff like teleporting. Instant spatial transitioning via mana transmitting your existence from one place to another is a well known ability that all serious practitioners of magic strive to be able to do. But some of the other stuff Mister Discord does, like spontaneously generating a canal and filling it with a nutrient liquid, without a noticeable disturbance in the newly created river since it should be trying to fill the gap even as more pumpkin juice is created? It just feels like it should...fall apart, in theory," Twilight answered, blinking and blushing as she realized both Rarity and Rainbow was staring at her.
"Well, we found the egghead," Rainbow teased playfully.
"Don't listen to her. It's so coo- I mean amazing that you are so knowledgeable, Twilight," Rarity complimented gently.
"Thanks. Rarity, right? Sorry, I'm trying to keep track of names," Twilight said nervously.
"Perish the thought, dear," Rarity assured with a smile. "Still, how do you know that?"
"I don't know. It's just...there in my head when I tried to make sense of what he's doing," Twilight answered with a sheepish smile
"First rule, Sparkplug," Discord called out with a smirk. "What fun is there in making sense?"
"That's a question, not a rule," Twilight countered with a scrunched brow.
"And just like that, you already failed," Discord teased.
"I did? Oh no, I didn't know there was a test," Twilight said nervously, looking ready to chomp at her hooves.
Discord blinked at that. "Okay, not the reaction I was expecting," Discord remarked, glancing to Twilight's cutie mark again. Then again, she was the Element of Magic. He knew Celestia hadn't had an apprentice since that shimmering incident, but he had no doubt she'd end up under Celestia's figurative and literal wing if the solar Alicorn found her.
Though, her personality was surprisingly insecure and impressionable. Wasn't Magic suppose to be the one that led and kept the other five together? The "Spark of Friendship" as it we- Oh good Chaos, that was why her name was Sparkle!
He wiped his talon over his face, peeling it off before polishing his faceless skull with his lion paw and rubbing his face back on.
"Umm, you alright?" Applejack asked, all of them giving him odd looks for the display.
"Nothing, nothing, just...once more, the universe disappoints me in the most spectacularly unimaginative ways," Discord lamented, tilting his head as his vehicle started to slow. "Ahh, we've arrived!"
The group of ponies found themselves suddenly teleported out of their boats, standing in front of Discord. Before all of them was a cave, the dark entrance rather ominous to many of the young fillies.
"Mister Discord, are you sure nothing is living in there?" Applejack asked as Rarity swallowed nervously.
"No. Let's find out!" Discord declared, clapping his hands together! "Consputo Eos De!"
The fillies startled, their jaws gaping as the cave's mouth moved. As in, "mouth" like it was an actual mouth, the edges of the hole moving like lips before sticking out a giant and literal tongue as it blew a raspberry. From which it spat out mice, a colony of bats, three timberwolves and a particularly alarmed Manticore.
"There, all cleared out and waiting for new residents!" Discord said with a smug grin as he waltzed forth.
"That was weirdly awesome. Or awesomely weird, I can't decide," Rainbow commented.
"Why not both?" Pinkie Pie asked, giggling as Discord snapped a sombrero into existence on her head, to her joy.
"Here we are girls, a top of the line abode for Fillies to wait in while waiting to be sent home," Discord said as they looked into it.
Or tried to.
"It's a bit dark," Applejack commented, more wary than fearful. Unlike Fluttershy who was hiding behind Discord's leg.
"Is it? I wouldn't know. Dark and Light aren't concepts I give much heed to," Discord mused mysteriously.
"So you have a night vision spell on your eyes?" Twilight guessed curiously.
"That isn't what I was implying," Discord stated with an unapproving look. "But, also, yes."
With that, he gave two small claps of his hands. Stones appeared along the ceiling, glowing to bath the cave in a soft light of many colors that banished all the darkness.
Harmony could buck it, she did NOT have a trademark on prismatic crystals.
"Neat!" Rainbow stated, rolling her wings before flying into the cave.
"Ohhhhh!" The other fillies all said, staring at the lights in wide eyed wonder.
"Well, it's certainly spacious," Rarity remarked as they entered it, seeing the back end was fairly far way.
"If no one minds, I'm going to go rest on that that rock perch. It looks smooth enough," Twilight stated, failing to suppress a yawn. "Ahh! I think Rainbow wasn't the only one exerting themselves today."
Discord watched her go. Now that he paid more attention to her, he realized he had made a small error earlier. He had assumed Twilight was of average mana-capacity for her age, based on what he sensed in her. Taking another feel, he saw that her maximum reserves were actually massive. The average unicorn's amount of mana was what she had left. And she was exhausted. Well, he gave Harmony this, she certainly picked a fitting mare for the position, a potential second Starswirl the Bearded even.
Twilight did raise a good question though. Was she doing magic before the memory loss or was the magic drain a result of the accidental teleport?
Ultimately, he didn't bother to dwell on it as he idly watched the fillies investigate the cave. Less than an hour of these six and he already had plenty of conclusions about them. First off was that Rainbow and Pinkie were extroverts that would chat up strangers, Fluttershy and Twilight were introverts that weren't sure how to interact with others, and Applejack and Rarity were ambiverts that fell down the middle. Half of the girls fell into a "tomboy-ish" field while the other half was a bit on the prim-proper-polite category. Two for each race, all with wildly different interests and priorities, just on the surface at that.
Everything in balance, as all things should be.
Harmony, as always, was taking that concept way, way too seriously and far too over the top for his tastes.
Discord shook his head of that, turning back to the entrance and snapping his talons to make a lot of police tape appear, except it was blue with his name written all over it in harsh orange. "Okay, girls? I'm going out to figure out where we are- and before any of you start wailing, that tape is magic. Nothing can get in through that way. So stay here, stay put, and I'll be back in a few hours with news and/or lunch. Any questions?"
"Who's in charge while you're gone?" Applejack asked curiously.
"Everypony is in charge," Discord answered with a grin.
"So...nobody is?" Rarity summarized, getting only a chuckle from him for her efforts.
"Well, I'll see you all in a jiffy," Discord said, as he turned and lifted his talons-
"Goodbye!"
Everyone turned to see a very nervous, blushing Shy.
"Um, be careful, and come back safe," she finished with a small smile.
Discord stared at her again. "Thank you, Shy," he accepted without a smile or a frown, too curious at the outburst.
"I-it's Fluttershy, actually," she corrected softly.
Discord smiled dryly at that. "Of course it is," he murmured before snapping his talons and vanishing in a flash of light.
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Great job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-ups in all the right places. Greatly adored Discord's reflections on the games he's invented while in stone, the differing reactions to the ride Discord conjured up for the filly Mane Six as well as Discord spotting bits and pieces of the fillies' differing personalities, the dialogues between the fillies, Discord reflecting on his usual relationships with children (and also noting how Twi would probably turn out if Celestia got her hooves into her) and the fillies' reactions to Discord's home.
VERY certainly looking forward to more of this.
Everything was balanced, until Twi’s apotheosis. Now that I think on it perhaps that’s why Starlight was eventually added.
nice work.
ah good, this one didn't fall down the asscrack of time
eager for the next update as ever
Yes, it lives! This is getting very interesting.
Great chapter. Glad to see it updated
Interesting chapter... And Twilight is Twilight
Oh, it was a delight to see this updated! And this chapter does not disappoint.
I loved the ways you have Discord use his magic—from the breadcycle, to making the cave literally spit out its unexpecting inhabitants. And I looked up what "Consputo Eos De" was in English...very clever.
It was also nice to see the girls bonding and getting to know each other a little more, even if it's through very, very odd circumstances. Discord piecing together more information about them was also nice to see—and it was also sweet, seeing his consideration towards Fluttershy when she was scared of floating on the pumpkin river.
I wonder how many more chapters it'll take for him to break down and admit that okay, maybe he does care about the tiny ponies a smidge. Eagerly looking forward to the next chapter!
Well then it's pretty cool to see the story again anyway so Discord and the little ponys are traveling through the river pumpkin juice which that's pretty random well then again it's Discord and it looks like they're try to find a shelter for the night because Discord somewhere deep down he wants to keep them safe even though he knows that those Ponies are going to be his enemy in the future and also friends but it looks like he's going to find something out there to have dinner for them anyway I wonder what they're going to do next I guess we'll find out next time
Except for sex, for some reason. That's not "in balance".
10689390
Which is strange and funny, since the Old Pillars were "Balanced" if you went by sex. XP
So glad to see the update and boy, I must say you get Discord spot on! It flows so well and is perfectly believable with how he both speaks and acts. I can totally see/hear him doing this. Well done!
Considering discord never seem bad but I don't think he cared about others opinions much even though his chaos while annoying didn't hurt anyone.
I can't wait until the rest comes out
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And Rarity and Applejack; Rarity at the play later that night, and Applejack once she returned home.
Fluttershy was a "right after" case btw.
First the Rewrite and now this. I'm getting the strong suspicion that you like Discord. Regardless, this is a VERY refreshingly imaginative origins rewrite!!
While I still hold out hope that you'll return to update Discord's Rewrite, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where this one could go! Great work!!
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This has an update coming, probably this weekend or next. That or Discord's Pride. Rewrite is something I constantly have opened for whenever that damn writer's block clears up.
Thanos, is that you? XD
I love the story. I like discord ^^
Oh no. That is why her name is Sparkle. How did I never notice that?
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Huh?
10768367
Is there some part of my post that confuses you?
I’m all to happy to clarify if that’s the case. Whatever, just please let me know. Thank you!
10852337
Which one goes to me?
10852338
Uh, the second one? No offence, but I thought it’d be obvious...
10852342
No. Not for me when it like this.
10852351
Um, can you please explain? I don’t think I quite follow...
Apologies. I’m on my phone, I should be able to answer better when I get home.
10852380
When it's only addressing me, I know exactly who the comment is for. When there's more than one responds to different people and they're not the same, I get confused.
Well, sorry. Still, the second response is for both you and CyberDragonEX.
I must say that I loved it but above all when you can and are unoccupied, only if you see the opportunity, I would appreciate it if you continued uploading this fanfic since this fanfic has abysmal potential
It's very original
This is a great series, please continue, ^_^
I was just wondering are you still continuing with the story
Oh? Discord will definitely love you! For children are one of the most if not the biggest source of chaos....Hmm
-Oh, in the name of Faust! Can't you produce less chaos and be in harmony with each other at least once!... Oh my God, I just wished someone to be in HARMONY!!!!- Discord screamed in horror clutching his head
Please update soon!! I love this story
Hello wonderful dead story
I hope this gets updated