Tense, Unmoored (A Floating Sense of Time)

Stories About Proofreading (That We Don't Proofread)2 stories ·2 members

Tense, Unmoored (A Floating Sense of Time)

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Did you ever read one of those stories where the author can't keep track of the difference between past and present tense?

Try LIVING IN one.

A pony goes to see a doctor, because he sometimes loses track of when things happen. Sometimes he also has trouble saying ponies' names.

But two things help him survive. One of them is hope. The other is Lavender Unicorn Syndrome.

(I made the story image by editing show screencaps, because why not?)

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Comments ( 5 )

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badninja

badninja #1 · Feb 17th, 2021 · · ·

I wonder how many ponies suffer from this?

Uknikorn

Uknikorn #2 · Feb 17th, 2021 · · ·

nice story, and i really like that title image

Pete100

Pete100 #3 · Feb 18th, 2021 · · ·

"Mmm-hmm," Starlight Glimmer said. I couldn't see her, because the couch was positioned to point my face away from her chair. She'd told me that was to help ponies feel they weren't being judged. But I secretly thought it was so she could play games on her mobilepone without getting caught.

Worst counselor ever.

Twilight didn't exactly ORDER me to see this particular counselor instead of some other, but she strongly hinted that Starlight Glimmer really needed more business. Nopony asked MY opinion. I thought Starlight had trouble finding and keeping clients for a reason.

I wonder why.

"Oh!" she exclaims. EXCLAIMS! Not exclaimed. EXCLAIMS.

I honestly never thought it mattered.

Pinkie gave me a serious, big eyed look, patting my hoof. "When was the first time you were able to look back on events from a future perspective? And have you ever given any serious thought to how HELPFUL that could be, if you learn to do it right? Would you like me to give you some tips for better managing your condition?"

Wow, pinkie is a be tree doctor than starlight.

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #4 · Feb 18th, 2021 · · ·

Fascinating take on the concept, with a lot of thought-provoking exploration worked into a small space. Sometimes finding the right counselor for you can be as hard as finding the right medication, if not harder. But it’s always worth the search when you can find one who can work with you.

All told, lovely bit of fiction and metafiction. Thank you for it.

SparklingTwilight

SparklingTwilight #5 · Nov 1st, 2021 · · ·

This was a really clever send-up on two levels; spoofing fanfiction authors' use of shifting tenses and of Starlight. Then, it has a great reveal that sets it very deeply in show lore.

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