My name is Princess Cookieheart. I was abused as a little pony. My mom and dad hated me because I became the leader of the family. Princess Celestia made me the leader during a family leader contest. The winner gets to be an alicorn! Of course I won, and became the Princess of Cookies! I get to make cookies for each and every pony. Every pony wanted to be my friend in school when I won. The teacher even made me a substitute when she was sick! Of course, i did a great job. My parents were jealous of me because I got so much stuff. They got so mad, they forced me to move away from Canterlot and pretended I died. Everyone was so sad, they never talked about me again. 15 years later, I was 30 years old. I couldn’t take it anymore. I blasted my parents and turned them Into statues!
I ran away crying, because I had nowhere else to go. 100 years later, I was 130 years old. Usually ponies die, but I’m an alicorn! I flew up in the sky to look for a city to stay in. I saw a small town with a sign that says Ponyville!
I went there and said hi to every pony that looked at me. They looked at me so weird! They saw alicorns before! Then, I heard 6 voices.
“Are you, Princess Cookieheart!?” Said a voice.
“Yeah! Hi!” I said.
“I can’t believe you are real! I’m Twilight Sparkle! These are my 6 friends! Applejack, Rainbow dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie! Can you show us your special skills?”
I tried to make a giant cookie tower, but I couldn’t! I got worried. What if I used all my power to turn mom and dad into stone!?
“I lost my magic, and the only way I can get it back is to take all the power from another alicorn so they turn into a unicorn...” I said sadly.
“I’ll let you have mine!” Said Twilight.
She used a magic blast to turn herself into a unicorn and gave her power to me. The mane 6 then bowed.
“Wow thanks! I love new friends! I’m going to say hi to celestia!” I said happily.
“COOKIEHEART! I MISSED YOU!” said Celestia, crying happily.
“Princess!” I said.
“I’m not a Princess anymore. I decided to make you the ruler of Equestria!”
“Wow thanks!” I said excitedly. I was so happy I jumped up and down and squealed. I decided to make Celestia a royal guard and she agreed. I also made Luna and Cadence and Flurry Heart royal guards. The mane 6 were happy for me, and made me their leader. My element was friendlyness. We battled 1,000 villains. I defeated them all after blasting them one time. The main 6 loved my strength and made a party to celebrate me. I added a lot of cookies! At the party, there were a lot of stallions that wanted to be my king. But there was one creature talking to Fluttershy that I fell in love with faster than Twilight gave me her castle when I said I needed one. He was beautiful. My eyes turned into hearts and I flew up to him, but he kissed Fluttershy and I ran crying.
“COOKIEHEART!” yelled Fluttershy.
I cried in my pillow when I went in my bed. How could Fluttershy do this to me? After all these years I thought we were friends? Then Fluttershy came bursting in. I turned my head, mad at her.
“I’m so sorry for kissing discord! I didn’t know you loved him! I’ll divorce him so he can love you! Will you forgive me?”
Fluttershy’s eyes were sparkling with tears. I should forgive her. So I did.
“Everyone makes mistakes sometimes! I forgive you!”
Fluttershy and me went to Discord after the apology.
“Discord, I’m divorcing you so you can marry Cookieheart.”
Discord cried and ran away. I got really mad at Discord. How dare he break my heart? Fluttershy put a hoof on my shoulder and told me to put a spell on him to make him love me and make sure it doesn’t break. The only spell I can think of is the memory changer! It deletes memories and adds fakes! I went to discord’s house with Fluttershy and she said, “Stay still so Cookieheart can cast a spell on you.” Discord started screaming and crying and whining like a baby. He kicked at the air and yelled and pouted. He farted at me to try to get me away. I quickly put the spell on and he stopped and looked at me with heart eyes. I did too.
“Will you marry me Cookieheart?”
I started screaming with excitement.
“YESSS!”
I decided the wedding will be next year.
Please be a parody.
Please be a parody.
Please be a parody.
Please be a parody.
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No, no I refuse to believe this isn't a parody.
First, "family leader contest"? And the winner gets to be an alicorn? She's the alicorn of cookies, and you said she's stronger than Celestia... The alicorn of cookies is stronger than the one who can raise the sun and apparently turn ponies into alicorns on a whim. Also,
No, this is definitely a parody. I refuse to believe otherwise. It's actually a pretty nice parody too. I'm not usually a fan of stories like these, the ones where it's "so bad that it's good" because the intentionally bad grammar, pacing, and characters just feel annoying to me, but I actually did enjoy it.
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YOU LIKED MY STORY?
AAAAAAAA AYAAAY
Okay wow, Cookie heart is flat out EVIL! Discord won't marry her so she forces him to love her. NO wonder her parents hate her.