Author's Note: OK so like in this story princess flurry heart is a teenager and she is a rebellious teenager I mean what teenager isn’t rebellious? Oh I just yawned that is not a good sign I’m writing this whole thing in like voice to text because I’m on my phone. The voice to text program on my computer stopped working anyway so one day flurry heart was like mom I am pregnant. And cadence was like yo what the fuck why are you having unprotected sex I know teenagers have sex that’s why I teach about the importance of contraception rather than abstinence because I am the princess of love and I know teens are mad horny anyway the point is did you not wrap it before you tapped it?
And flurry heart because cadence had taught her that she could have an open conversation with her mom, flurry heart was like yeah we’ve been using the pull out method and cadence was like yo dog the pull out method is not fool proof and like even if you do it right you can still get pregnant it isn’t 100% I mean nothing in life is 100% except how much I love pegging shining armor but like you get what I mean actually using contraception makes it astronomically less likely for you to get pregnant
Eww mom can you stop talking about all the weird kinky sex you have with dad it’s weird
Yeah OK you’re right sorry flurry anyway so you’re pregnant who is the guy?
Mom I feel like you don’t pay attention when I tell you about my life I’m dating Natasha she’s trans remember? that’s right anti-SJW‘s this is a teen romance with a trans character and there’s nothing you can do about it we’re getting this shit fucking gay up in here anyway Cadance was like Natasha oh yeah I feel like you have mentioned her occasionally anyway not that it’s my business but y’all are both in high school so like I’m a little surprise she isn’t on puberty blockers which I presume would make it a bit harder to get pregnant although I’m not gonna lie as a cis mare I haven’t done a ton of research into that stuff I really probably should given I am the princess of love of all sorts including love of your body and I want trans mares and stallions to be happy take that dumb ass right wing bronies. Cadance says trans rights
OK anyway so as your mom, I will be here for you but also I’m not a control freak parent so like if you want to keep The pregnancy I will help however I can and if you want to get an abortion that is your decision to make. I I in I guess Natasha should have a little save it ultimately it’s your body is Natasha Natasha Pony? Like that doesn’t feel like a pony name is she not actually like a Russian spy or something because that feels like the name of a Russian spy.
Oh yeah, flurry heart said, she just moved here from Stalliongrad has anyone ever actually figured out a second Russian horse pan besides that one? Fan Of Most Everything I’m calling on you usually are pretty good with these things you helped me figure out a horse pun for a hotel when I wrote that horrible Rarity and Twilight shitfic that mono chromatic didn’t like.
Anyway, fast forward however many months horses are pregnant I don’t know I think it’s 11 months? And 16-year-old flurry heart gives birth to a beautiful baby Colt.
A year later flurry heart was pregnant again
What the fuck flurry look like you know I’m a libertine mom and I don’t wanna be up in my daughters biz but Jesus he is fucking protection. Also does Natasha still not have HRT?
No mom because we don’t have universal healthcare she can’t afford it. I wish the Crystal Empire had Medicare for all like mainland a Questria
I told you flurry heart I’m a right libertarian princess that’s why I don’t believe in things like healthcare and Earth Pony is having the right to vote
What the fuck mom fuck you
OK I’m really hoping the deadline for the contest is 11:59 PM not a.m. a.m. seems like the kind of arbitrary time to in the contest anyway I need to go to sleep. I also need to edit this so I’ll edit it tomorrow but hey it feels good to Rado shitfic again also did you know that my roommates cat is named Kafei after a legend of Zelda character and I love café and he loves me and he sometimes sleeps with me on my bed and I’m so glad I finally have a cat in my life that I can pet because I’ve always wanted to have a cat to pet but I’m very allergic but I honestly don’t really even take allergy pills much anymore just occasionally oh he just jumped on my bed to get pets good night everyone I love you all I’ll continue the story tomorrow
Hi it’s now tomorrow. Honestly what I’m worried about is not reaching 1000 words I’m worried about editing this monstrosity into something the fanfic mods actually except
OK so Lori Hart was like yo mom what the fuck why are you Hella racist that’s not cool and cadence was like fuck them earths ponies and flurry heart was like fuck you I’m going to go get knocked up by an earth pony and have a mixed race baby
What about Natasha? Natasha died. She asked her self because of merciless bullying because we’re studies aren’t any Crystal Empire curriculum like they are in Maine Linda Questria what the fuck is up with our schooling system what the fuck is up with our government in general? I feel if so perhaps hereditary monarchy is not the way to go.
And cadence was like you fuck nugget, don’t you wanna be princess when I die?
And flurry heart was like dude fuck no you’re the strongest argument against the divine right of princesses that I’ve ever seen. Seriously I’m going to get twilight to overthrow you and install representational democracy
And cadence was like a Lolll fuck good luck with that I have twilight in my pocket I used to babysit for her and flurry heart was like
Yo dog people change. It’s been like what 30 fucking years since you last babysat her? She has watched you from a far with pain in her heart as you have turned into the douche canoe you are today. She’ll be glad to help me overthrow you bitch
How fucking dare you talk to your mother like that you are grounded go to your room
And flurry heart was like you can’t make me, I’ve been reading Marxist literature and mouse says that political power grows from the barrel of a gun. I’m going to do to you what the Bolsheviks did to the stars
Wait Kayden said I know you meant sorry but that would be a funny alternate history where Luna takes the place of Anastasia and the SARS aid in her escape
Fuck it looks like I forgot to save cause I was in the middle of doing delivery driving and the last few paragraphs got wiped out but anyway I didn’t really know how to in this story so I guess it just ends with a Flurry Heart saying fuck you decadence and fucking A bunch of earth ponies to stick it to the man. Or mayor as it were. I don’t know, I’m not really proud of this story but hey at least I’m writing it it’s been hard for me to write shitfics lately because I don’t like riding characters out of character it feels weird. But I guess ultimately just Gotta say fuck it and go for it. That’s kind of like life. Sometimes you just Gotta go for it. The reader if you leave the story with any sort of take away, I hope it is this: go for it. Whatever it may be. I have a Scootaloo’s theme song called go for it and maybe someday I’ll actually finish writing it but until then I can still advise you dear reader see the words on this page instead, whatever your dreams are, to go for them. Please, have a blessed day and a good night.
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Well that is the longest title for a story I have ever seen..
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first time reading a super trampoline fic?
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It seems so normally I never see titles like this I like it.
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Obligatory:
derpicdn.net/img/2020/3/1/2287236/medium.png
I haven't see much. Stalliongrad seems to be treated like the Empire itself, a whole nation compressed into a single city-state. (And with Russia, that's a lot of compression.) I have seen some references to Sibearia, which is presumably populated with sapient bears. You ever read The Golden Compass? I'm imagining something like the armored polar bears, even if any actual landmass is south of their habitat, which climate change is wiping out at an alarming rate.
But I digress. Google assures me that Russian for horse is "loshad." Loshadivostok? Bit of a stretch. This list of Russian or partially Russian horse breeds should help.
... Oh hey, there's one called the Tavda. If nothing else, we've got a name for the local newspaper.
Oh, right, there was a story in this callout, wasn't there? Pleasantly bouncy. I can't envy Shining Armor if forced to pick between his wife and his sister and daughter. Clearly this is Cadance lashing out at her adopted parents (who were, of course, earth ponies.) That mare needs therapy.
Edit: Better ideas from Estee's Discord:
Maremansk (K-123 Ту́полев (971 Akula Class))
Coltsac, Hoofosibirsk (SockPuppet)
Alikornsk (Malady)
Crimarea, with the deep water port of Sevastopony (Tupo again)
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As a rule of thumb, Tramp stories have titles longer than the average isekai light novel.
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And have more to do with the circumstances in which he wrote them than anything else. Which, given how Lemony his narrators tend to be, aren't quite as irrelevant as a sane person would assume.
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...purely psychosomatic
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I once thought of Maretryoshka.
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She's a nut, she's crazy in the 🥥
Marescow
what the fuck
........What?
Don't get me wrong the...Story (If I could call it a story).......is interesting but uhh...Hol up getting my last brain cell fried here...
what
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Glad you enjoyed!
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Shout out to you and Estee and friends for being real OGs
You remember the other pills the doc prescribed, right?
Right? 
The real city of Voronezh can kinda pass as it is, since our traditional word for a horse with black fur is 'voronoy'.
Also, Lyaganks ('lyagat' means 'to buck'). Or Whinnytsy.
Hoofsk.
Mareshkin.
Ponyskov.
Great Neighgorod.
Tailin.
Canterburg.
If we really have to reach far, Nostrilsk.
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Nice ones!
I.... uh... erm...
What did I just read
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Fuck if I know
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I still need to write Slurry Shart and force Present Perfect to read it.
Well.. I read it..
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My condolences
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11062079
Well fuck
Da faq is this thing
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Art.
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This comment is too fucking old to be responding to right now, but... you can never have too much fucking profanity you bitch! Even if it is a fucking T rated fic.
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See? They agree
(Wasn't tryna offend anyone)
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Fuck yeah brother