Striped Apples in Bloom

Crescent Glaive

Crescent Glaive #1 · Jul 29th, 2021 · 3 · ·

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I have never actually seen this pairing. Nice fic

AJ Aficionado

AJ Aficionado #2 · Jul 30th, 2021 · 2 · ·

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Sorry, I took so long to get around to this. I spent all of yesterday getting Permissive Passion ready to go. I probably spent as much time editing it as I did writing the rough draft! This isn't foalcon obviously (what, no death wish?) but there's still a cute story in here regardless.

"Apple Bloom, are you here?" a loving voice called out. "Or perhaps another lost in fear?"
"It's me, Zecora," Bloom greeted. "Just got a mite bit lost, what with the rain and such."
"Ah, my love, please come in! I'm just in the bath, come have a spin."

Good ol' Zebra rhyming. I might have added a towel set on a rack left for guests to throw over their backs since she's been out in the rain. You might not have thought of this but four-legged creatures get screwed over bad when it comes to the weather; their bodies down come straight down from their heads like ours do.

Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of the zebra shamare bathing. Careful to not slip on her still slick hooves, Bloom hurried into the other room and gazed upon the sight she craved. In the large oaken bath that they'd carved together last year, laid the mare of Apple Bloom's dreams. Long stripes of black and white dancing over a cascade of velvet fur, polished black hooves and a pearly white smile, enchanting sapphire eyes, the works that made her the most enchanting mare in the world. Usually, the sight of the mohawk was quite pleasing to Bloom when they first met, the strange style fascinating her curiosity, but seeing it all let down in a wet curtain that framed the perfectly sculpted face of her love was another wonder of the world. All of this in a steaming bubble bath with a warm fire nearby made the apple mare quiver in excitement.

You made a great case for Zecora. Well done! Like the word "shamare" there, too. Very cute equinization.

"Well, these two little kirin and griffon cubs got real heated when it came time to talk about Cutie Marks, said that it wasn't fair that they couldn't get any of them themselves,"

The kirin especially do. Ba-dum-tss!

"Well, if a pretty mare like yourself is inviting me, then how could I say no?" Bloom asked, blushing.

Aww, that's a shame. I was hoping for a bit of banter before she hoped in. Maybe I'm being impatient and we get a few lines in there later, but I'm wondering what their established relationship is. Are they friends with benefits? FIllyfriends? I loved AB's little story, very late-season MLP. But Zecora had nothing to say about it.

Lowering herself deep into the water,

This is a nitpick but how deep? Up to her neck? Her shoulders? Her plot?

The stress she'd felt all day began dying out and withering away,

Rather dark imagery for a story of this nature. The metaphor of something unwanted washing away is pretty cliche, I guess, but it fits with the establishing paragraph being set in a rainstorm and her body being covered with mud and fits the tone a lot better.

Zecora planted a few more smooches on her before giggling.

"Smooches". Smooches with the dames!

"I'd rather you get clean curtly," she moaned, "to further enjoy making you dirty."

The word 'curt' is usually used to describe a brief action used in the context of being rude. There's a more general alternate definition that focuses on the briefness of the action but as far as synonyms for 'quick' go, there are many better options. Kind of a forced rhyme too... You know, I'm being very ungrateful, I'm sorry. I basically tear apart every fic I touch. Old habits die hard.

Bloom's tail swished around underwater at the proposal and she nodded. Zecora hummed and lifted herself out of the tub, striding over the younger mare.

Wow! I guess Apple Bloom is cursed with shortness for life.

Apple Bloom grabbed a loofa

You know what I love about clop writers? Everyone had that tool in their kit I've never seen before. Loofa's are a good idea.

"Well, Apple Bloom? How the view? Because all of this is just, for, you~," she muttered, eyes half-lidded.

Nice!

The appendages danced together, Zecora's tongue making all kinds of twists and turns around and around, caressing and rubbing Bloom's tongue until the mare felt weak in her knees, laying down on top of her marefriend.

Ahh, so they are fillyfriends.

A single, slow, aching lick ran up the shivering folds of Apple Bloom's cunt,

Ahh, the c-word. I never cared for it much. It's really popular though.

Taste met Zecora's tongue, and it was clearly evident that the family of the Apple Clan were just as ripe and juicy as the produce they sold.

Is this their first time? Otherwise, as AB's fillyfriend, she'd know this already. It just feels like I'm missing important details.

And thus, Zecora slammed herself down, squeezing their clits and cunts together once more as they both came. A waterfall of gushing cum, the scent of sex and love soaking into their fur and the sheets as the mares laid there, flank-to-flank as they reveled in the sheer ecstasy of it all. Apple Bloom was the first to recover, pulling a sheet over the both of them as she laid down on top of Zecora. The zebra hugged her lover close to her heart, kissing her as they drifted off to sleep.
"I love you too, my sweet Apple Bloom," Zecora whispered as she closed her eyes.

Short and sweet. The descriptions of the sex itself were nice. I appreciate you floofing the story for me.

Necrogen Lord

Necrogen Lord #3 · Jul 30th, 2021 · · ·

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10919851
I'm extremely glad you enjoyed this! I'm sorry it was late, life tends to get in the way, but I did have a blast doing this!

Yumberduddle

Yumberduddle #4 · Aug 8th, 2021 · 4 · ·

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this is such an underappreciated ship, so its always great to see any content for it. and especially when its well-written, CRAZY HOT story like this!!! i love the details like zecora's black pussy, and i give u full kudos for keeping zecora rhyming; a lot of authors don't try to and i know its an extra effort but it really pays off with the authenticity and its fun to read. this was great and i only hope that u will explore this pairing more in the future because this was so great its hard not to want more!

Black--Soul