The mare in the air was working as hard as she could.
Twilight could see that easily; even as a blur, Rainbow was putting more into this routine than she had for quite a while. The trail she left behind was thinner and longer than Twilight had ever seen it, trailing for several twists and turns before the sunlight fully destroyed it. It wasn’t actually there, not like with the Rainboom, but there was a definite afterimage when she blinked. She’d been doing that a lot, Rainbow having decided to practice right on the edge of the sun’s fall.
Was that because of him?
Twilight turned her eyes, glancing at the stallion to her left. His eye was narrowed, but it followed Rainbow at every turn, every loop, every streak across the sky. He looked almost predatory, waiting for Rainbow to slip so that he could strike. Twilight shivered.
Rainbow set down several minutes later, panting but grinning. Pinkie Pie gave a whoop and ran forward, hugging on to her marefriend. Twilight smiled and clapped, Pip following her example for the latter action. Broken was still, his eye remaining on Rainbow. The mare slowly walked over to the scarred stallion (Pinkie leaving a small divot as she was dragged along) and sat down in front of him.
“So… how’d you like it?”
“Why the buck are you asking me?”
Rainbow’s grin deepened. “You’re the new guy. You haven’t been exposed to the awesomeness of my flight routines yet.”
Broken scoffed. “What about Pip? No, wait, stupid question. Why do you think I’d give you a straight answer?”
“’Cause you hate me enough that you wouldn’t pull punches. I want your hardest shots, exactly how badly I messed up and where.”
Pinkie and Twilight both blinked in surprise at the mare. She’d never actively asked for criticism, especially not from somepony like Broken. She held a straight face above her bravado, though, and Broken grinned.
“You move fast. You’re controlled, for the most part, some small slips on the smaller turns. You could probably beat any other flier in a straight flight.”
“But?”
He raised a hoof and shoved her. She stumbled, nearly falling over before Pinkie set herself on the ground and steadied the pegasus. Pip took a step towards Broken, but he stopped when it was clear that the latter stallion wasn’t going any further. Broken, for his part, had stopped smiling.
“You exhaust yourself, far too quickly. The Wonderbolts are going to be out flying for hours, in front of thousands, and if you falter it falls on the whole team. You have good endurance, but you push yourself so hard that it doesn’t make a difference. Keep going like that, you’re going to tear a flight tendon, and those don’t heal. One bad wing extension, one push in the wrong direction, and you’re lucky if you can recover enough to hit the ground softly.”
Rainbow’s lips had thinned, but she nodded. Broken blinked.
“You’re stupidly focused on making yourself look the best. That’s good for some things, not if you plan on becoming a Wonderbolt. I’m sure they went over this with you, and you aren’t stupid enough to actually sacrifice other ponies for your own benefit.” Again, Rainbow nodded. “But the thing you just showed me? The high speed, high risk manouvering? When I said you could beat any flier in a straight flight, that wasn’t a good thing.”
This got a different reaction from the mare. Her brows had furrowed, and her voice was skeptical. “What do you mean?”
“Think about it. You’re fast enough to leave anypony in the cloud-dust. That’s competitors and teammates. What happens when your body shifts into instinct during a performance and you’re suddenly out of position, far ahead of where you should be? Formation’s bucked up, your teammates get messed up, you look like a showboater, and that’s only worse if you’re the flight leader.”
Rainbow gave a cautious nod. Broken sighed.
“I’m sure they’d go over this with you themselves, they aren’t idiots, or mine weren’t at least, but it’s good to get it in your head early.” He shrugged. “My Rainbow never did. One day she was running a patrol over the Everfree with ten other pegasi. She was the head of the pack, went far enough in front that we saw her fly overhead long before her squad showed up.” Broken blinked, grinning. “She was the only one that got back to Canterlot.”
A solid silence slid over the gathered ponies. Rainbow, Twilight, and Pinkie all stared at Broken, Twilight with a modicum less surprise than the other two. She cleared her throat when it was clear that nopony would be speaking.
“Broken, if we want to get to the others’, we need to leave soon.”
“Oh, of course, of course.” He shook his head, glancing at Rainbow again. She opened her mouth before he could speak.
“Why did you give me that advice?”
Broken’s brows furrowed. “You did ask.”
“I was ready for you to call me out, just go full-on ‘you suck’. You actually helped me, even if I knew most of it already.” Rainbow shifted herself, leaning on her two left hooves. “I’m wondering why.”
Broken shrugged. “I’m hoping that you aren’t stupid enough to join Dawn, knowing that it ends up the way it does, so I’m just aiding a future ally.”
Rainbow shook her head. “That’s not all of it, though. You’ve always called me Rainbow. You call AJ Applejack, and you call Fluttershy Fluttershy. But you call Pinkie and Rarity by those codenames. Why those two? Why just those two?”
Broken stared at the mare for a few seconds.
“Applejack was a rebel, we didn’t need a codename for her. After Appleloosa and the Wonderbolts, you were actually the moderate in Dawn’s circle, and your ideas saved a bunch of pony’s lives.” He glanced at Pip. “Fluttershy was Raised into Gaia, and Big Macintosh into Crimson Lash.” When everypony’s eyes widened, he gave a small, dead grin.
“Rarity and Pinkie were the sycophants for Dawn. They weren’t Raised, they weren't mind controlled, they just supported her and went along with everything she did. They helped her.” He gritted his teeth. Rainbow spread a wing in front of Pinkie. Broken continued, his eye focusing on some point behind the mares. “Rarity organized the camps, they weren’t her idea but they were hers. Pinkie tore ponies apart, helped Dawn with the physical aspect of the healing spell experimentation.”
Pip cleared his throat. “Rarity was in charge of care and comfort for the residents of the internment camps. Lady Dawn removed her from the position soon before the camps became overcrowded and anarchic, and she was instead placed into a position to help actual Equestrian citizens who had been assaulted by Royal Guard forces during the Revolution.” Broken’s eye narrowed, but Pip didn’t seem to notice. “Lady Thalia primarily developed prostheses and mechanisms designed to aid the common pony in their daily tasks.”
When Broken moved to speak again, Pip overspoke him. “I would remind you that her Ladyship has ordered our removal from this location, and your continued efforts to converse are interrupting our exodus.” He turned to Twilight. “With your permission, Milady, I shall remove Broken in order to expediate our travel to Rarity’s.”
“I’m not done explaining!” Broken cut in, glaring at Pip. The other stallion’s eye narrowed, but Twilight moved between them.
“We do need to get going, Broken. Make it quick.”
The stallion scoffed. “Yeah, yeah… So, we used the codenames during the Revolution itself, all of them, I mean, but we kept Pinkie’s and Rarity’s because they happened to work out in a rather insulting manner. We used Marshmellow because, well, Rarity’s appearance had shifted dramatically from her former obsessively-maintained figure, and Cotton Candy was a reminder of what she used to do, used to be, and how far she’d fallen since then.” He waved a hoof vaguely in Pinkie’s direction.
“But why do you call our Rarity and Pinkie by those names?” Rainbow pressed. Broken glared at her.
“Call it a force of habit. I remind myself that they’re the most dangerous ones out of you other than Twilight, in case they need to be… dealt with… later on.”
Rainbow and Broken glared each other down for a few seconds. Pinkie slowly raised her hooves and pushed Rainbow’s wing down.
“Was Cotton Candy straight-haired when she was hurting ponies?” Pinkie asked quietly. Broken stared at her.
“She had had to cut her hair, it got damaged in some accident or something, but the inch or two that was there was still curled.” Pinkie blinked, but nodded. Broken looked her up and down before sighing and standing.
“I’m gonna start for Marshmellow’s. ‘F Pip wants to come-“
Pip stepped, and both stallions disappeared. Twilight blinked the afterimages out of her eyes before turning to her two friends.
“I’m sorry about that…”
Rainbow scoffed. “Why? We got some info out of him, didn’t we? Something happened to the Wonderbolts, Fluttershy didn’t go over to Dawn willingly and she brought Big Mac with her, Broken hates me less than you and Pinkie…”
“I turned into a mean violent pony without going Pinkamena.” Pinkie added. Both mares turned to her, Rainbow placing a wing on the earth pony’s shoulders. She shrugged, her smile staying. “I’m not worried about it; I mean, Twilight isn’t responsible for what Dawn did and she shouldn’t worry about her, why would I be worried about Cotton Candy? Doesn’t make sense that I’d take something like that to heart after I helped you get out of your funk, Twilight.” Pinkie’s eyes brightened. “Ooh! Pip said I was a prostheses maker pony! That’s why I was still curly-haired-happy-me, I was helping ponies like that!”
“I guess so.” Twilight gave a small grin at the optimistic mare.
“And even with the healing magic thing, well, I was helping make healing magic! Even if a bunch of ponies got hurt on the way, I was probably thinking ‘Hey, these ponies might be sad, but I’m making it so that a whole bunch more ponies can be happier, so it balances out’ or something like that! It’s silly, obviously, you shouldn’t hurt innocent ponies no matter how much it helps other ponies, but-“
Rainbow slipped a hoof over her hyperactive marefriend’s mouth, not stopping the speech but interrupting its capability of comprehension. She gave Twilight a grin.
“I’m gonna take her somewhere so she doesn’t explode. Keep an eye on Broken, yeah?”
Twilight nodded. “Er, thank you, Rainbow.”
The pegasus shrugged. “No problem. He might not be a bad observer, even if most of his advice is obvious.” Pinkie’s muffled voice had reached a fever pitch, and Rainbow quickly moved her foreleg to firmly wedge the mare’s head to her chest. She started flapping her wings, giving Twilight a salute before shooting off into the sky, leaving a pink-tinted rainbow trail behind her. Twilight turned, starting after the two ponies in her charge.
Pip had waited less than a block away from Rainbow’s practice site; Twilight found him and Broken glaring at each other, Broken muttering things too low for Twilight to hear. They both stopped and turned to her as she approached.
“What?” She asked, tiphoofing around them and continuing on her way.
“Broken Shield has been expressing his anger towards Lady Thalia towards me for the last few minutes, and has apparently become somewhat irritated at my explanations of her actions.” Pip replied.
“She took out my ribs because she wanted to see what would happen.” Broken growled.
“Soon after your second escape she developed segmented body armour designed to absorb hits without damaging the pony inside, as well as a new support structure for buildings that would prevent severe structural damage from high-velocity impacts by large masses. Both of these were based upon a ribcage structure.”
“She kept ponies alive while she cut them up!”
“Live feedback was required for the development of some aspects of the healing spells; most of the test subjects had been anesthetized, and all of them were terminally-ill volunteers or those who had violently resisted integration into the new Equestrian society.”
“She stuffed her own soldiers with explosives that would detonate when they were killed!”
“Based upon tactics used by the Shadowbolts in the Cloud City rebellions, and adopted primarily to prevent cannibalism of the corpses by the Loyalists.”
Twilight’s stomach dropped through her hooves.
“Cannibalism!?!” She shouted. Pip nodded as Broken growled.
“Oh, don’t get caught up on that…”
“Is he serious?! No, wait, is he right?!” Twilight had rounded on Broken, giving him a horrified stare. Broken glanced at her dismissively the three before sighing.
“It happened once. Everypony was rather desperate, rather hungry, morale was low, and a mare couldn’t handle it anymore. She killed her foals, then herself.” He put his tongue to the corner of his mouth, but brought it back before he could lick his lips. “She fell on a fire she’d built, and the smoke drew our attention a few minutes after she’d gone through with it.” Broken swallowed, his mouth tight.
“We had stew for a while.”
Twilight stared at Broken; he glanced between her and Pip, clearing his throat after a half-minute.
“So, enough about my violation of Faust’s intentions, how about Pip blatantly admitting that Cotton Candy and Dawn used live ponies for experimenting with healing spells? No? How about that the ‘violent’ resisters were those poor wretches from the camps? The exploding soldiers bit? Anything?”
“I have been well aware of Dawn’s monstrosities, Broken, for long before you mentioned the specifics here.” Twilight swallowed some bile that had been edging up her throat. “What you did, on the other hoof, has never been mentioned before.”
“I did it once, to keep everypony alive! She did it hundreds, thousands, of times, because she got some sick pleasure out of destroying ponies’ lives!” Broken glared at Pip. “Or did you not explain how the tortures and experiments continued for four years after the healing spells had been developed?”
“The healing spells were not the only reason for the brave sacrifice of the test subjects. Lady Dawn had plans far greater in scope than curing individual ponies of their ills.”
“Right, of course.” Broken shook his head, giving a rough sigh. “Dawn can’t do anything for a bad reason, can she?”
“I’m glad to see that you’ve recognized that, Broken Shield. Lady Dawn would be happy that you’ve progressed in your-“
A rope of rose-coloured magic wrapped around Pip’s midsection, jerking to the side and flipping the stallion over. Numerous other magical lengths erupted from the ground, tying Pip down as Broken approached him, horn pulsing with energy and eye narrowed. A trickle of blood coursed down over Broken’s mouth from his nostril.
“Broken!” Twilight yelled. Her own magic appeared, grabbing the other unicorn and halting him a few metres away from Pip. Broken turned to her, and his eye was the small-pupiled, wide-opened thing she’d seen a few times previously. Twilight felt a small bit of ice in her stomach as his gaze fell on her, and everypony’s shadows seemed to darken suddenly.
“He… you don’t know what he’s saying…” Broken blinked slowly. The ropes around Pip pulsed, but the stallion on the ground gave no indication of pain.
Twilight blinked, trying to clear the bizzare, light fog from her vision. “Broken, it doesn’t matter what he’s saying, you can’t hurt him. If you do, you’ll be-“
-killed. Celestia’s going to kill him.
I need to stop him.
He’s in a funk, needs a shock.
Twilight blinked again. Broken had begun to smile, a small, odd smile. Twilight stopped herself from focusing on it.
“He needs to die, Twily.”
“He’s a foal, Broken, he doesn’t know right from wrong like we do.”
“No, he doesn’t.” Broken’s smile widened, and the magic around Pip pulsed again. “You don’t either.”
The shadows deepened, the fog grew. Twilight felt something odd on her back. She ignored it, ignored the shadows and the fog. Her head pulsed, and she found herself speaking without thinking.
“If you kill him, you’re murdering him, a foal, you’re murdering a foal. Just like Dazzle, a foal like Dazzle. You kill him, you’re killing Dazzle, Broken!”
Broken’s smile snapped. The shadows went back, the fog fled, the weight lifted from her barrel. Twilight blinked a few times, found Broken on the ground, Pip standing and staring at her. She shook her head, the odd feeling disappearing.
“Are you alright, Milady?” Pip asked.
“Yeah, Pip, I’m…” she shook her head again. “I’m fine. What happened?”
“Broken Shield restrained me when I attempted to congratulate him on recognizing that Lady Dawn was an objectively good pony. As he approached, you called out something that, oddly, I cannot remember; hearing your words, Broken stopped, released me, and collapsed. I believe that he may have activated the anti-violence spells but somehow pushed through their effects, for the seven seconds it took him to stop.”
“Seconds…” Twilight blinked. It felt a lot longer than that, when I was-
A sharp shock shot through her mind as she realized what had just happened.
“I beat it.” The event. The waking nightmare thing. She’d been in one, at least partially, and she hadn’t even noticed, she’d been trying to stop Broken, she’d stopped Broken-
“Milady?”
Twilight had gained a grin, without feeling it. “I’m fine, Pip.” She glanced at the unconscious stallion on the ground. “Could you run to Rarity’s, tell her we need to reschedule? Just say that something came up with Broken, I’m sure she’d understand.”
“As you say, Milady.” The stoic stallion disappeared, a whip of air filling his former location. Twilight glanced at Broken, who would have appeared to be sleeping peacefully if not for the twin rivulets of blood streaking down his face.
I beat the dream-Broken.
Twilight was fairly sure that what she’d said in the dream had been what she’d been thinking. What she would have said in real life, then-
“You’re killing Dazzle”
-was probably a reflection of her thoughts. It had stopped him in real life, it had stopped him in the dream.
But that’s never happened before. Not like that.
So? The other-voice in her head asked. It sounded weary, almost exhausted. Broken’s down, Pip’s alive, you’re not insane. Maybe you’re just getting a better hold on your own thoughts.
But what did I do-
A sharp pain hit Twilight in the root of her horn. She sat, bringing a hoof up to rub a circle near the base. Pip appeared, grabbing Broken without being asked. Twilight stood, still massaging near her horn.
She needed to write to the Princess.
Both of them.
Man, I really hate Pip.
3406656
Polarizing character is polarizing.
3406656
Frankly, I cannot hate him, if only because he even lacks any personality to be hated. He is little more than a pony robot.
3406960 I dunno, something about him just rustles my jimmies. Hate him for his acts, not for his personality for he is without one.
Looks like Cotton took a page from mengele's book. Odd that Broken survived the vivisection though. Does he still have all his ribs or did he lose only most of them or something?
Horrifying experiments aside, Broken is still a hypocrite. Good to see that some things don't change
3407093
She took out the lower (furthest back / smallest) 5 rows. His survival was mostly magic-related.
Well, that was interesting.
1. Are you deliberately spelling Rarity's codename differently from the word "marshmallow"?
2. I'm probably misremembering, but I had thought that somebody said something about only earth ponies being suitable for being Risen, yet there's Fluttershy. Am I, indeed, mistaken?
3407361
1. It was a typo in the original posting that I've kept as the codename; Somepony in story might point it out later on.
Plus, how in Tartarus is it marshmAllow when it's never pronounced that way? Arglebrgle pet peeve.
2. Anypony can be Risen, but it's usually more successful with younger ponies. Earth Pony Risen are the only ones that were taught how to do the flash-stepping thing.
3406656
Ironically enough, I'm of the opposite opinion. I like Pip, but I absolutely loathe Broken. Different strokes I suppose...
3407707
He hasn't really threatened them (more made a claim that he's already killed them, which he hasn't actually done yet in this time) and Celestia prefers a more merciful approach.
Twilight has a brain tumor. Calling it.
3407707
To be fair they're disassociating their world from his quite a bit, Celestia even goes on to admit that alt!lestia was probably a horrible pony, simply based on what she's heard.
3407806
Who's to say they aren't? Lauren Faust specifically wanted to avoid romance in the main cast, which kind of left it open for the fans to decide on who they were attracted to.
I can understand the point of view that one should maintain a celibacy amongst the cast to keep in with the show itself (not just against same-sex relations, but all overt romance) but I personally don't subscribe to that idea. The relationships aren't the focus of this fic, and to the best of my knowledge they hardly, if at all, impact the story.
And I'm much more interested in guy-on-guy than girl-on-girl, hopefully without any equines involved in either.
3407951
And this is why I'm okay with it happening.
3407433
1. Makes sense. As for the pet peeve, pronouncing it with "a" is actually done today, albeit in the minority. It's probably the historically original pronunciation. Also, it's an unemphasized vowel; there is very little difference IMO between pronouncing it with "a" versus "e". (The word originally was constructed from "marsh" and "mallow", a plant whose name is pronounced with an "a".)
I'd think "taught" being spelled differently from "taut" would be even more annoying to you!
2. I see. I'm sure that the "stepping" is what I was thinking of.
3408824
I tried to avoid a total Godwin; that little speech is based on most of the more overtly racist positions from the past (the speaker's race is closer to God, smarter, etc). Plus, the camps weren't necessarily designed to kill the non-ponies, that just happened to be a side-effect.
I tried to go for more of a communist feel with the Revolution as a whole. Pony-centric, but not really Nazi in general.
3407951
Personally, I think that’s a good reason to omit it. If it’s only mentioned off‐handed and never delved into then why mention it at all? It’s fine where a relationship’s existence is integral to the story but all it does here is to deviate from canon for the sake of deviating from canon.
3411075
Not really; there is a point to putting them into relationships in that it DOES deviate from canon. This world isn't the show's world, and I prefer to show that without shoving it directly in everybody's faces. Having 'small' occurances like Pinkie's and Rainbow's or Rarity's and Applejack's relationships helps to put a small distance between the canon and the fanverse.
Hang about a moment; something that was mentioned about Fluttershy.
She was Raised? Based on what Pip said a few chapters back, Raising was only possible for earth ponies due to their skeletal and muscular structure. Unicorns and pegasi couldn't stand the structural stress. Big Mac I can understand.
Did Broken misspeak? Or was he trying to find some justification in his own mind for a gentle pegasus mare to ally herself with Dawn?
3412560
Gah, I might have to go back and clarify it. Anypony can be Raised (Pip mentions having a Raised unicorn subordinate that he sends down into the CMFMHQ basement) but only earth ponies can step.
The main thing for Raising is age; it's easier to do when the pony is near puberty, but not impossible otherwise.
3412637
Ak, okay. Thanks for the clarification.
just noticed that all chapters start with the letter "P"
this amuses me for some reason, though I am not sure why... is there a reason for this? (the alliteration of the chapter titles) Or is it just something fun you thought you'd do?
Anyways, LOVE the story all the way through! You have very well developed characters, and I like how Broken is still Shining, while still being a completely different pony. This is a unique and abstract (in a way) character, and isn't something you see every day.
Good job, and good luck with future chapters! (And stories for that matter. I just need to go click that follow button after typing these last few words... gah, why do I type so much?)
Anyway, I look forward to more!
See ya,
-The Believer-
3412637
it was clarified enough, I think, as you never mention anything about earth ponies and being risen, only that out of all the risen guards that earth ponies can harness the power of stepping. (An ability that fascinates me to no end, mind you. Did you come up with the idea, or did you pull it from something? I am curious either way.)
It really adds to Pip's character, giving him that ominous and mystifying aura about him. He's one of those tough-guy tragedy lovable characters!
If that makes any sense.
-The Believer-
3408824
BOW DOWN TO OUR GLORIOUS LEADER!!!
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/290/d/e/evil_foal_twilight_sparkle_by_jennk777-d5i3k0h.png
wait
wrong picture
HERE WE GO
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDIvMDkvMjBfMjdfNTZfNjU2XzIzODI5NF9fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfdHdpbGlnaHRfc3BhcmtsZV9yYWluYm93X2Rhc2hfYW5pbWF0ZWRfZWRpdF9uYXppXzUwZjEzODYwYTRjNzJkNDkxNjAwMGY3OF9oaXRsZXIuZ2lmLmdpZiJdXQ/238294__safe_twilight-sparkle_rainbow-dash_animated_edit_50f13860a4c72d4916000f78_nazi_hitler.gif.gif
3411491
Very true in that that can also work, but it does usually require more individual cases of deviance from canon — not mere divergence — to pull off successfully. Subtle differences are likely to be overlooked, and things that only go against fanon or what canon merely implies often won’t register at all for portions of the audience.
Without that you’ll inevitably get some whining about shipping x with y. Or people discussing said whining because the phenomenon has piqued their interest.
On that semi‐related note, I think most of the push back against shipping same‐sex partners comes from two sorts of people:
a) those who are incredulous that Equestria managed to sustain a stable enough population to survive this far (what with the ludicrous prevalence of homosexuality in fanon).
b) those who consider homosexuality morally reprehensible under whatever ignorant rationale they’ve concocted for their bigotry.
3413481
Original plan was to cycle through (start with P, go to R after a certain number of chapters, and so on) but I've ended up just using all P's.
And thanks! I've tried hard to not make Broken horribly deviant from Shining, moreso than the circumstances would cause. Good to see it's working.
3413503
The stepping is based on the common anime Flash Step trope mixed with Pinkie's ability to defy physics and 'teleport'.
And Pip was purposefully designed after the strong stoic type character; I just went with one of the darker explanations for it. I originally planned for him to die, if I couldn't figure out what to do with him to make him an interesting character past 'mysterious and doesn't talk much', but I think I have enough with him to make him interesting even if he becomes talkative and animated.
3413595
That is horrifyingly brilliant.
3413709
I prefer to err towards the too subtle side than the too blatant in terms of difference from canon (unless said difference is the defining part of the fic), but I can definitely see where you're coming from.
As for the same-sex shipping, in a universe such as FiM's, where it's a 7:1 female:male ratio at my last check, the idea of six females living as spinsters for their entire lives while the rare seventh gets a romantic partner is unimaginably cruel to me. While I'm guessing that there's some kind of sperm donor / open relationship thing that goes on in order to keep the population going, it makes sense that a larger number of lesbian relationships exist (and the homosexual pairings that didn't have children themselves via the aforementioned donations would in turn provide stable and loving homes for those rare few orphans or abandoned foals that exist).
3413840
Well, I am glad you kept him! Pip is an amazing character IMO, and allows you to give a different point of view from that of Broken's.
Can't wait for more of the story!
-The Believer-
3430053
Thanks!