• Member Since 6th Aug, 2018
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Shadic Midnight Blitzer


Writing occasionally hear, posting art on Twitter and Deviantart, and posting music on Youtube. Still somehow finding myself stuck not knowing what to do lol XD

Comments ( 76 )

Nicely done! Glad you gave moonlight some focus.

Though, if only one chapter, why incomplete then?

11031164
Oh yeah I changed it to Complete. Sorry about that.

11031169
No harm done, was just confused.

But i admit, the ending makes one think it could continue and got me thinking

11031171
A what if thought, regarding a friend of the 2. I think you know who

11031185
sorry, did not mean to distract you or anything

awesome story mate keep it up cant wait for the next story:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

Very good story ^^

Good to see a story focused on Moonlight. Neat twist at the end.

11031336
Yep! Since Midnight already had claimed other mares in other stories I only thought it'd be fair that she got hers.

the tragic loss of an entire company to a single werewolf

I know it's not the point of the story at all, but loosing 80-250 trained soldiers to a single werewolf sounds ridiculous and immersion breaking to me.

They're all armed, armored, and trained, they may not be elites, but that many soldiers I couldn't see being brought down by anything less than a small hydra, and even then, it'd have to be an ambush with no chance to prepare and build siege weaponry.

Loosing an entire squad would be much more realistic.

Who's the art by?

11031467
The artist is longinius.

11031467
I have no idea. I tried to find the artist's name but given that the site had him as Anonymous I have no clue. It's clear they made more art as I found art with similiar styles but I couldn't find the name no matter what.

11031512
Oh wow. Thank you. I'll add that to the description

Somehow, I figured that would be a twist.

Nonetheless, it was a fun read. Hope to see more stories featuring Moonlight!

11031685
Thank you!

Yeah I honestly thought about making a different character but I was like 'hey, the zebra sisters in RIZ have Midnight, let's have Moonlight have him as well'

11031388
I mean it’s the royal guard we’re talking about. The ponies that let equestria get invaded multiple times.

11031731
Yeah that's where I was going when I said a company was destroyed. Like sure, it's hard to put up a fight against things like Tirek, Nightmare Moon, etc, but their one time to shine as a force, the Canterlot Invasion, was an utter disaster.

11031731
Oh yeah they're incompetent, but an entire company killed by one werewolf?

That's excessive.

I figure the biggest reason Equestrias military being so weak is being at peace for centuries, their army is more like cops than a standing military, but a few monsters are within their capabilities.

11031892
Your logic is still sound, but I have to say that the Guards are still pretty weak. They literally couldn't keep up with the non-disguised changelings while the Mane Six (who weren't using their elements btw) were able to dominate their dozens of their clones. Heck if at least one out of every dozen guards knew how to use the rapid fire spell Pinkie did with Twilight, the Invasion would've gone completely different.

Or how about the fight against King Sombra in his timeline? Despite the fact that they had more cities/more ponies and Celestia already defeated Sombra once, the war ended up dragging for years. And you can clearly see many guards on the ground, defeated. Even though Sombra's soldiers have their helmets, they're probably still limited by their body. The helmets probably just makes them immune to fear (the irony) as they charge without any hesitation, even trying to capture Celestia who's a goddess of the sun basically. But they're still ponies.

Now imagine the Equestrian Guard facing against a Savage werewolf that goes only to kill, whose claws can shatter through enchantments very quickly and their jaws are able to kill maniticores. They're also pretty good at resisting considering that Midnight, the werewolf in this story, had to take hits from the manticore as well.

Fluttershy being able to calm the manticore was something only she could know or do. I imagine the guard would need some few dozen deaths to put one down if they were ambushed. And if a werewolf is more powerful than a manticore... Oh boy.

11031924
I just think it's important to adjust the Equestrian military appropriate to the context of the story, their military sucks in the show because they have no need for one, but if there were monsters all over the place then they would be forced to have to have a competent military.

“Why are you doing this?” The wolf asked as he let out another moan. His cock twitched before releasing a healthy amount of precum which ended up falling on her backside, sending a shiver down the mare’s spine. Momentarily taking her mouth away from his factories, the purple thestral looked up at him with a pair of hungry eyes.

You fuckingn guilt tripped her into making her fuck you don't you know how sensitive ponies are? Some times I read poem but I really wish people would actually include warnings...

11031947
Judging from your grammar, I gotta ask, how old are you?

11032071
18 why? I just hate with all my being people who convince ponies to have sex

11031933
Yes they would be forced, but it's easier to say 'alright let's improve the military' than doing it. It would take time

Story idea is good, I like it. Grammar could use a few tidbits here and there, but it's nothing too bad. I think that an error that constantly invades your writing is using too much passive voice. There should be a mix of passive and active voices. Here's an example:

“I was about to ask that question, but this is more important.” The Night Guard said as she held her rapier in a more threatening position. “You are going to come with me and you’ll be turned in to the Guild. Your fate over the deaths of those ponies will be decided from there.” The mare said.

"The Night Guard said" seems to be a bit redundant and sounds a bit passive. It's quite clear that Moonlight is specifically speaking, so you can omit that. Same thing with "The mare said." It's redundant and makes the text kinda clonky. This is just how I personally would write it:

"I was just about to ask that question, but this is more important."

The Night Guard drew her rapier and pointed it at the werewolf.

"You're going to come with me and turn yourself in to the Guild. Your fate over the deaths of these ponies will be decided from there.”

It sounds a bit cleaner and doesn't sound as clonky. Just something to consider when you write to make your story even better :twilightsmile:

11032630
Ah. That looks much cleaner. I'll try to keep that in mind, though it'll take a while to learn.

I must say, the story was very entertaining and above all fun to read up to a point.

A "special" story for what is the Halloween party. Which by the way, it was a great touch to introduce a character who barely appears in your stories, but who has another role in another. Still, I was pleased to know a little more about the history of Moonlight. And the meeting of her with the Werewolf was something that I did not expect at all, since I do not usually read the summary much, since even in them there may be some Spoiler.

Even so. I liked the story a lot, how the beast has a relationship almost as much out of necessity as for pleasure, since after all it has conscience and apparently it is not a creature that really lets itself be carried away by its instincts. I would have liked to see if he came from a pack where there were more wolves like him, or in which case, meet the Alpha Wolf, since generally or at least in stories of this type, they are the largest in all aspects: 3 and extremely virile.

We could say that after this, in a future story, Moonlight would have started a friendly "relationship" with the werewolves. Which still remains to be seen if they are Ponies that turned into wolves or are still humans turned into wolves.

In any case, the story was fascinating. FFFFFormidable.

The werewolf’s voice slowly trailed off as it looked at Moonlight in shock. For a moment the tired mare couldn’t understand why the beast was staring at her, that is until she looked down and realized that her chest was exposed, letting the wolf get a good look at her tits.

Maybe you can turn this into a battle strategy or something?

It was absolutely massive, bigger than whatever dildo a shop could ever hope to sell. His size would be difficult for even Celestia to manage, much more for Moonlight who was just a regular pony.

:trollestia:: "You surely underestimate me, my little pony..."

For a moment the purple thestral wished that she had chosen missionary as she felt her legs spreading out in an attempt to take on his ever increasing girth, but for some reason going Doggy felt more right.

Well, you are doing it with a Doggy, if you think about it.

“Ah. Forgot I can’t move with that stuck inside of me. Oh well, I guess I can wait while snuggling against you.”

Too bad...


Good story!
But technically she should still get the reward.
I mean, the job was to defeat the werewolf, and the werewolf is now gone.

11042217
Like she'd have to bring the werewolf, either bounded or dead. She can't exactly prove she defeated/took care of/etc the werewolf if she doesn't bring the body

Which is why Midnight brought the manticore since (a) it was the thing that killed the ponies and (b) maniticores are worth something.

Also loved the comments, especially the Celestia one.

Hey, his attributes might become higher in demand if they realize they have a way to keep sapient when transformed...

Heh, very nice!

11199455
Yep! Thank you! What did you like the most about this?

11199696

Besides the pairing and the concept of the Monster Bounty Hunting Guild, I'd say maybe the humor at the end, how Moonlight is confused by the transformation but then just kind of rolls with it

11199975
Ye!
Have been thinking of maybe doing a sequel? Though I am concentrating on Let Ours Values Endure, another story I made that I'm trying to revive. What do you think?

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