At Canterlot, every citizen of Equestria, and a few non ponies were gathered, eagerly waiting for Celestia's torture to begin.
"This is so exiting!" A stallion exclaimed.
"I know, right?" said the pony next to him. "Oh, the readers of the Equestria Daily will just love to read about this!"
"You work for Equestria Daily?"
"Yes, I'm actually their..."
While the crowd talked about their excitement, Twilight was with King Sombra, who was helping her prepare herself.
"Look Twilight, it'll be fine. Don't focus on the ponies watching you, focus on the vermin that you're torturing."
"I'll try, but what if I suddenly freeze? It'll be so embarrassing..."
"You won't freeze, love, because I'll make sure you won't."
Twilight blushed. "But-"
She was prevented from finishing her sentence by Sombra joining their lips together.
"Don't worry, Twilight. Everything will be fine."
Half an hour later, Queen Heartbreaker stood in front of a curtain on her balcony, drawing the crowd's attention. "Citizens of Equestria and many other lands, you are all gathered here today for the much awaited event- the execution of your former ruler- Celestia. No, she's not going to be granted a quick death, that would be too good for her. Instead, she will be put under the most painful torture, and her soul will be trapped inside of her body so that she shall never truly pass on. If you are not a fan of gore, or have a weak stomach, I advise you to turn away immediately as this execution will contain lots of it." Two guards stood on either side of the curtain, ready to open it as soon as they were given their cue.
"And now, the execution shall begin! And the one who shall be given the honors are... Twilight Sparkle!" At this the guards pulled the curtain open to reveal Twilight hovering above Celestia who was chained to a pillar.
There was a vast collection of knives on a side, and the crowd cheered as Twilight flew beside Heartbreaker.
"Ponies of Equestria, and citizens of other lands!" she began, using a voice amplifier to make sure that all could hear her. "I am Twilight Sparkle, the lucky mare who has been given the honors to end this traitor's life! But before I start, I must address the elephant in the room- Why is Celestia getting executed? Well, the reason is because of her, we all could've been the slaves of the changeling Queen Chrysalis today. She, Celestia, knew that Chrysalis would attempt to take over Equestria on the date that was set for Queen Heartbreaker to marry the useless stallion who was the former captain of the Royal Guard. And did she do anything useful about it? No, she decided to sit back and let me do all the work. She thought 'Twilight and her friends will save Equestria like always'. But what happened? She got branded as a traitor, and is going to be executed today..."
While Celestia's execution was taking place in Canterlot, Spike was starting to take advantage of his new role as Dragon Lord.
"My subjects! I am Spike, and am your new Lord! My first command to you all is that you shall work for a mare whom I consider my sister- Twilight Sparkle."
Shouts of protest began. "Work for a pony?!" yelled Garble. "And why should we do that?"
"Because, my sister and her...partner are the most powerful ponies in the land, and whatever race doesn't pledge their loyalty to him will be wiped out or forced to be slaves."
"You're just protecting yourself, aren't you?!"
"Protecting myself? Twilight would never kill me, Garble. So all I'm trying to do here is make sure that all of you stay safe. I mean, the changelings and batponies have already submitted, what's left are us dragons, the griffons, and the sea ponies. Sure, we could resist, but even if we breathe fire and all that, we don't stand a chance against dark magic or umbrums. I'll give you all a week in which to decide what you will do, and after that, what's done is done."
In Canterlot the foals and ponies who were unable to handle the gore had fainted after seeing Celestia's wings ripped off brutally, with her horn being broken by a hammer.
She was covered in blood, and her throat was sore from having screamed in pain.
Twilight savored every moment of her former mentors pain, using a spell to intensify her agony so it was actually ten times worse.
"I bet now you wish that you hadn't betrayed Equestria, huh Celestia?"
"P...please...have mercy!" screamed the mare.
"Mercy?" Twilight laughed. "Why should I have mercy on you? Mercy is only given by the weak, and agony is given by the powerful. And as we all know, I am not weak. You get no mercy Celestia."
"P-please Twilight, I beg you. I-I'll do anything you want."
"Anything I want? Well, all I want is to do this to you." Twilight laughed as she electrocuted the mare with a spell.
A few more cuts later, Celestia's skin was ripped off, revealing the pink flesh beneath. She threw up.
Just as Twilight was about to begin cutting body parts of the former alicorn, an umbrum guard interrupted.
“One second ponies, and I'll resume giving this traitor justice.”
Once they were aside, the guard said, “Miss Sparkle, I am sorry to interrupt your…fun, but a mare has shown up at the Castle. She said her name is Starlight Glimmer, and that she has the powers of time travel. She says she knows all about you and everything else and shall join you if you do her one favor. ”
She has the powers of time travel? That would make her a useful ally and a dangerous enemy.
“And what is this favor?”
“She wishes to tell you herself.”
“Very well. Tell her I will see her an hour later.”
“Miss… she told me that she wished to see you immediately, and made it clear that she was not known for her patience. And that if you did not see her straight away, she would use her powers to destroy you.”
Destroy me? She is brave…And as much as I want to continue my fun, my will to see this mare is stronger.
“Go back to the Empire and tell her I shall be there within a few minutes.”
“As you wish, Miss.”
The umbrum went and Twilight flew back onto the stage. “I am sorry to announce that I am urgently needed at the Crystal Empire, and because of that the traitors punishment will be postponed to a later date.”
With that, she gave orders to the guards to keep the traitor in a dungeon and alive, and then she teleported away.
King Sombra did the same, and once they were back in the Crystal Castle Sombra asked, “What's the emergency?”
“Some mare named Starlight Glimmer wanted me to do her a favor, and in return she'd join us. She wanted to talk with me immediately and if I delayed, she threatened to use her time travel powers to destroy me.”
“Then let's not keep her waiting any longer. With powers of time travel she could be a useful ally and a dangerous enemy.”
“That's exactly what I was thinking.”
Starlight Glimmer was in the throne room, pacing. “Is she coming or not?”
Just as she was about to leave, the doors to the throne room opened and King Sombra and Twilight Sparkle entered.
“King Sombra, Twilight Sparkle,” Starlight bowed “it is a pleasure to meet you both. My name is Starlight Glimmer, and I have come here to ask for a favor. I used to live in a town called Hollow Shades and had a friend named Sunburst. However, he went to some school and never came back. There were rumors that he was lost. So… could you please find him? In return for that, I will join you.”
“Give us a few days and he will be found,” Sombra told her. “In the meantime, you are welcome to stay at my castle as a guest.”
“Thank you King Sombra and soon to be Queen- Twilight Sparkle."
Sweet.
How many chapters until the story is completed?
great chapter
11383857
Maybe twenty or more, why?
11383844
11383861
Thanks.
11383907
Because I prefer to read stories that have been completed so I wouldn’t be in any suspense on what happens next.
11383907
Dang! That long?
There's much more non-pony species than those. Like the Yaks, technically the Hippogliffs, Zebras, Minotaurs, Buffalo, Diamond Dogs, Kirins, Centaurs/Gargoyles, Abyssinian Cats, Bird/Parrots, Yetis, etc..
P.S. Who the f*** does Starlight think she is!!?? You CAN'T just callously threatened Twilight and then ask her for help finding Sunburst afterwards?
And why isn't Twilight mad or offended by this overconfident bitch that somehow has time travel!?
And how does Starlight get the time travel spell so easily. She didn't get it this easily in canon? She was spying Twilight from so many episodes. And she didn't find Starswirl's time scroll willy nilly.
First, bitch Sunset came by. And now this arrogant Starlight that thinks threatening the new dark queen is a "good idea"!?
They may not know it. But they shouldn't act high and mighty on a dark Twilight that won't hesitate to kill these two morons. Plus, Twilight has Sombra, Heartbreaker, Dragon Lord Spike, and Equestria, Crystal Empire, and Dragon Lands on her side. So those two are heavily outnumbered.
And Sunset should leave earth alone. Because she will regret facing the human military.
11384013
Ok.
11384077
It might be, I just made a rough estimate.
11384082
Yeah... Spike just didn't want to mention evey single species.
11384094
Starlight thinks she's some mighty and powerful mare. Yeah, I'll try and put a flashback in about that.
Twi is actually gonna do something about that...
11385182
Good. Because I don't like both her and Sunset's attitude. I mean, IF Twilight and Heartbreaker didn't hesitate or has no remorse on torturing and damning Celestia herself for not going to the afterlife.
What's stopping them for doing the same to these arrogant and highly dumb Twilight knockoffs ( Sunset and Starlight. )!!??
Plus, Sombra is right there! And I doubt he will let a very suicidal Starlight threatened his own dark queen like that. IF I was him? I would make Starlight ( And possibly Sunset if she tries something stupid as well. ) WISH she was never born!
And believe me. I SEEN the Saw movies and Saw Claymation fan traps on YouTube. So I definitely know on how to make those two suffer and regret their very poor choices.
And even Dark Twilight, Sombra, and Heartbreaker will totally agree with me, because those three are the types to love torture and life-or-death traps.
11385181
Edit: Forgot to put Buffalo last time, and I fix that.
Anyway, makes sense for Spike to shorten the non-pony list.
But still, will we see the other leaders like Queen Novo, Prince Rutherford for example. On how will they all react to Dark Twilight, Heartbreaker and Sombra? And their opinion on Celestia's own screwup on betraying Twilight in the first place, and the brutal torture/execution?
Plus, Dark Twilight needs to tie up MANY loose ends ( Like finally finished off Chrysalis of course. Permanently dealing with both Starlight's and Sunset's own dumb arrogance and stupidity!
Taking down other potential enemies like the potential return of Discord, Lord Tirek, Dazzlings, Storm King/Tempest Shadow, Shadow Pony, Starswirl and the Pillars, Cozy Glow, the REAL Grogar, maybe Cosmos, Eris, and the "Knights" of Harmony from the comics, and possibly Opaline.
AND how to finally handle with her former five friends, her former brother, and parents? Do they have a chance to "redeem" themselves to Twilight like Spike did, and be corrupt and dark like her? Or it's far too late, and they just get imprisoned forever, or even killed by her, Heartbreaker, or Sombra themselves? )
You see where I'm going with this? I give you nice story ideas and content to use.
11385541
Yeah... Could you link to those videos?
11385551
I think you will, if Chazkopa agrees to it. And there was a plan about what to do with the mane 5, Shining and her parents, I just couldn't fit it into this chapter because it would be too stuffed then.
And you're giving so many ideas (some of which me and Chazkopa didn't even think of); I love that!
11385772
https://m.youtube.com/results?sp=mAEA&search_query=saw+claymation
https://m.youtube.com/c/JLGRproductions
11385775
Your welcome. I just like to think on the bigger picture and expand the world building.
Sure, this is a heavily dark AU. But, characters and mostly the villains from Season 4-9, Equestria Girls Movies, Season 10 Comics, other Comic Sources, and even G5 are still around.
And IF I was on the side of Dark Twilight, Sombra, Spike and Heartbreaker. I would mentioned that their are other villains out there, and would be highly potential enemies, and rarely as allies. Need to tie up loose ends to have a secure victory of world domination.
P.S. I find it ironic that I have so many ideas in my head, and sharing it and helping other authors like you and Chazkopa. But, I'm still afraid to make my own stories as of yet.
P.S.S I forgot to ask on where's Luna? Is she Nightmare Moon again?
11386417
Thanks.
11386433
I agree with you.
And you haven't written any stories yet?! You've got so many great ideas, I assumed you had a lot. (After checking) Maybe you're just unsure of the reception it'll get. Using prereaders help. (Bad Dragon is a very good one)
And yeah, Luna's Nightmare Moon.
11386870
Eventually, I will have the courage, and decent knowledge on how to write a story one day.
P.S. If Luna is turn back into Nightmare Moon ( Due to Celestia f******* up. ), then why didn't we see her with Dark Twilight or even with Broken Heart? We didn't see her in Celestia's own torture/"execution" as well.
11388159
Nightmare was running late. And I completely forgot about her. PS: If this was one of those fics where characters are OOC and Equestria was- well a story written by Headless_Rainbow (I like them) then there'd probably be a scene of Nightmare masturbating to her former sister's death.
11388290
Oooooookkkkkkaaaaaaayyyyyy!
That's a bit too much, even for me. I know Celestia f******* up big time, but seriously!? Sure, I accept Saw inspired torture. But I'm in it for the bloody torture punishment. NOT into something like Hellraiser. The difference is that the victims took frickin "pleasure" from that!?
That cross the line for me. I'm not into "torture porn".
She can't be as worse like Blueblood, or King Dainn of F.O.E., or Blueblood's father from Assassinverse, or even Convertion Bureau Misanthrope Tyrant Celestia.
Their joyful deaths are actually "reasonable" to masturbating for. Because they are more horrible than Canon Celestia from Canterlot Wedding ever done.
11388322
I'm not going to make that happen, I was just saying if this were a story like Headless_Rainbows that'll happen. And I promise you, this is not like that.
11388753
Thank goodness. Because I do know what you are referring. And I ain't much of a "fan", due to those mess up sex stuff.
11388992
Ok.
11390987
Everyone goong dark. I could see.them removing Celestia from power bit going full darkside. Nah.
And first comme t was on Twilight.
11384094
She must have been aware of their existence before she went and time travel. Starswirl was nuts. Why would you make a spell to mess with time. There are some things you shouldn't mess with and time is one of those.
I want to like this story, really, I do... But I can't.
I want to like all the Canterlot Wedding AUs I've read, but I just can't. Most of the concepts are incredible, don't get me wrong, the execution however...
Pretty much all of these stories suffer from the same thing, and I can't stress this enough, PACING.
In the span of not even 15k words, we had (Massive Spoilers):
Twilight turn evil and torture Chrysalis for like 500 words, Twilight bringing the Crystal Empire back and joining Sombra, Luna turning into NMM and joining Sombra, the CMC joining The Evil EmpireTM and 'begging' Sombra to let them join the army (they're children btw), Cadence turning evil, becoming queen and torturing Celestia (Atleast we got a small flashback to explain her reasons), all the stuff with the changelings, Sunset Shimmer coming back and joining Twilight and so much more, happening in really small segments.
The only reason I spent so much time writing that wall of text was to make a point. We had what could've basically been the plot of a 200k word story, compressed in just a few thousand words. I do have to commend your grammar, however. Even if the dialogue is a bit rigid at times.
Maybe my standards for quality are a bit high, given the fact that I read a lot of major stories on this site (CommanderX5's Tiny Twilight Series, CVBrony's Rites of Ascension, Tundara's Myths and Birthrights and iisaw's amazing series to name just a few (my 'Stories I've Read' bookshelf is currently sitting at 762 stories and just over 24 million words)). Whatever. These are just my thoughts on this story, and I'm sorry if they're a bit negative, but I've read so many Canterlot Wedding AUs that could've been so good but weren't, that I'm just incredibly frustrated.
I won't like, nor dislike this story, because it's very much still ongoing, and things could change. Good luck to the author, and have a good day.
11429008
I have taken your complaint into consideration and have taken measures to fix the problem.
I also thank you for not disliking- for giving this story a second chance. You're actually the first user I met who's like that.
11443789
I hope my previous comment didn't seem too harsh. I was just trying to provide feedback, but I know I tend to be unintentionally mean when doing so. I believe in constructive feedback, not destructive feedback.
As for my neither liking nor disliking the story, it's because I like to keep an open mind. Writing is hard because there is a usually a big jump between coming up with an idea and actually putting it down on paper.
Thanks you for taking my feedback into account and good luck!
11449768
Don't worry, it wasn't too harsh. And about how I'm going to fix everything, would you mind helping?
My plan is to put the story in a Gdoc/ Word doc and then perhaps you could make comments about if you think it's fine. Of course that will be after I fix things, and if you don't want to, you don't have to.
11388322
Agreed, say want to join the resistance?
We have firearms
11516017
Are those firearms anti-magic proof? Specifically anti-dark magic proof? ( Like Holy Weapons/Magic or something. )
Ok I admit, I'm really starting to like this story, it seems like everyone who is going dark isn't actually going to be making unreasonable killings, just torturing Celestia, so I'm guessing that Equestria and the Crystal empire will continue as normal but everyone will be more violent and dark? Better than everyone being slaves.