The Equestrian Space Agency, or ESA, has finally sent their fourth scientific mission to the moon to study lunar geology and gain a greater understanding of their stellar neighbor. For Orion Zephyr, it is his first mission beyond low orbit of Equis, and while he's excited for his journey to the stars, he, along with his crewmates, are unaware of what truly hides beneath the lunar surface. As they set down and begin their duties, the crew of the Luna 4 come to realize; something else is still up here.
Written By:
Squall Windfeather
Fire Hearth
Edited By:
Witchery
EighthDayofNight
Art By:
Boxu
First Featured #1 on 1/17/2023!
Chapters (4)
Yo first one Here! Good story going to be putting this into my watch folder.
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Too kind, really!
This is where the fun begins!
So, Celestia still haven't release her sister?
OH MY GOD! I'M SO EXCITED! I CAN’T WAAAIIIIITTTT!!!!!!!
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It’s a little more complicated than that, you’ll learn in due time! :) Going to get crackin’ on chapter two as soon as possible.
I'll admit when I first read the title I thought it would be about Somnambula running an ambulance service.
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But did it subvert your expectations in a good way? (:
the most unprofessional astronauts EVER!
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Hey, Somepony’s gotta do it!
The constant swearing is distractingly out of place. Imagine if somebody wrote a line for Rarity like "Holy shit fuck, dude, my dresses are like totally the bomb, yo!"
That...wouldn't fit. That's not how Rarity talks. It's not being puritanical to point out that the dialogue you've written for these characters doesn't at all fit their circumstances. These are ponies. These are highly-educated, professional ponies who've spend over a year training together. These are astronauts engaged in a dangerous activity where seconds count, and clear communication and team cohesion is what keeps them from dying.
It doesn't make sense for them to talk like edgy lower-middle class teenagers playing some sort of insult-based social one-upmanship game in between trying to impress each other with how many swear words they know.
11481391
Having heard stories, there are no professional astronauts. Just zero-G pranksters
love the cover art
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Preach it! Don’t worry though, the ‘team’ will become more of a team as time progresses. Training is one thing, the real deal is another. They are just facing some challenges right now which will have to be overcome. We all have that one coworker, and that coworker is Frost.
I haven't read this yet, but imma leave this here.
Okay two issues.
First hkw donthwy not have a backup crew just for this issue. Second Frost is the one that better watch it.
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Thanks for the comment! I share your first issue, it’s not explained why mission control decided to go ahead after losing a astronaut to injury. I didn’t want this chapter to drag out and thought it best to save more details for Ch.2/3/4. Cold opening at its finest!
Firstly: ESA doesn’t have the funding or talent they’d like to have, especially on a fourth moon mission. The crew from Luna 1/3 are technically available at this time, but also in the midst of training for Luna 5. The agency felt that it would be best to just go ahead as planned and provide plenty of technical manuals and a short extra stint of training in repairs to the remaining three. The ships have seen very few failures on the prior three missions, and they expect this mission to be the same.
Second: Yes, Frost either needs to get with the program or watch her back. She has much growing to do and don’t worry, she’ll grow.
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I'm inclined to agree. If you heard the original recording of the Apollo 13 disaster those dudes are pretty chill despite being on the verge of catastrophe.
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Yes.
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1) You have a very romanticised view on how high end professionals act when not performing for the public. In short, so long as they dont do what Frost was doing and endangering the mission by distracting the specialist performing the life and death manoeuvre with none related chatter, which Azure was entirely correct to pull her up on, then almost anything flies. Many professionals do in fact swear, proficiently, On missions, especially when dealing with stress. Heck there is a report of Apollo astronauts disconnecting their vitals monitoring on at least one occasion because they were getting fucked off with control. So yeah some "unprofessional" language is very on point for this.
2) profanity tag is on, you should expect profanity
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Which makes frostneven stupidier. If they don't have the funds be thankful you have anyone who can do the job even of reckless. You coild end up like Costa Concordia otherwise.
Interesting to find out the lore of this equestria
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I bet it's the nightmare without Luna. She was banished to the moon by Twilight, while Luna stayed in Equestria. That's my theory anyway.
Woo, fun read! Be proud of ur work man :)
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Well, I can’t say you’re right, but I also cannot say that your too wrong either. Just that you’re very forward thinking — but the execution is a fair bit more complicated than that. You’ll just have to wait and see!
This sounds like fun
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Intriguing. I shall await with bated breath.
P.S That theory only popped into my head, because I started out with a similar plan for one of my stories. It never panned out in the end though. :)
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My name is Rarity, yo.
My sister is Sweetie Belle, yo!
So yeah, Pony NASA sucks. Real NASA had backups for everyone, and probably backups for the backups. Jack Swigert took over for Ken Mattingly on Apollo 13 with only a few days before launch. And Frost's attitude definitely wouldn't have flown, probably literally.
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Pony NASA does suck! I this it’s the dysfunction of the crew that gives it charm though. Pony NASA needs more funding and some more brains, lol.
Herbivorous teeth have never looked so creepy.
I'm not joking. Whoever made that cover knew what to do.
The story so far seems interesting. Pony finds cosmic horror (jealous moon pony with magic, which equates to the same thing. Or at least I think that is what the story is about.)
Pony deal with jealous moon pony.
I'm glad this isn't alien but everything is equine (equine.. chestbursters..????) because that would be strange to say the least.
I have hopes and dreams, comrades, and have no stable idea what this story shall become!
Please continue.
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Thank you for the comment! The story shall be a story, because at heart I’m a storyteller; wether my work is ‘correct’ or ‘agreeable’ is up to the interpretation of the reader. I’m not trying to write for everyone, just myself and anyone who happens to find it interesting.
It shall continue, I’m actually drafting the next three chapters as we speak. Lots of character development to do before they are put to the test!
(P.S. Boxu is an amazing artist and friend. There was actually a draft of this art where she was even more terrifying, but we decided against it because it’s not a strictly horror story!)
I will wait for the continuation.
You had my curiosity but now you have my attention.
Amazing story! Can’t wait to see to where this goes from here.
Orion is really thick headed, Azure pretty much outright said that she likes him and that's part of why she wanted him on this mission and he didn't get the hint and now she's a little mad but thankfully he pretty much fixed it.
While Mooney's look is indeed creepy I really hope that she somehow gets hugged I mean seriously being stuck on the moon like that she really needs it.
........why does this feel like a Dark Pictures game?
In any case, I think this is the first time I've seen genuine space horror on this site. Can't wait to see where it goes!
Good story and all, but I just had to give it a downvote. You know exactly why squall
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I hate you, friend. Have a nice day!
Great story so far. There’s a lot that hooked me and kept me reading on. The premise is really cool and I can’t wait to see what happens next, and I feel like you did a really good job at writing your characters and giving them all distinct personalities that stand out amongst one another. I know that’s not really the most groundbreaking thing ever, but it’s something that I think is a little more challenging to do right, and you did fantastic. It’s always cool seeing an author’s take on an alternate universe equestria, so that’s just another reason why I can’t wait to see your next chapter. Keep up the great work, I look forward to seeing what you do next.
That was a good story so far goodluck with the rest of it.
Precious friend I enjoyed your story I can't wait to read more OwO.
Ooof, the tension between Azure, Orion, and a certain other pony will be rough. I'm interested to see how it develops. Well... If Frost doesn't stick her nose into it first.
I'm sorry but that cover image is riding the line between hilarious and horrifying, and I don't know which one to choose.... Halp
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All of the above.
Why isn't there a horror tag?
Oh my God! Another day, another W from my dawg Squall!
It begins.