Eternal Rest, Eventually
Starlight Glimmer
Rest in Peace
- A friend who gave her time to the world.
- Bravely attempted a bold spell. We look forward to her return.
- Open not this casket of stone. Monitor its bell. In time, for its occupant, all should be well.
And everything happened again.
Then Starlight was past the lucid point.
"Seven lifetimes. Isolate me until I complete my decay! Magical creatures react differently than the rodents! Because of the fluctuations. Not only I will lose my mind, so will anycreature nearby!" Starlight frowned, "This will cause dementia!"
"That's just dementia."
"I saw what happened to Redsky Delight. It came through. Twilight. I'm living backwards and forwards and the spell bubble won't always hold. Holes in the mind; losing the present and focusing on the past--the timenado will spiral out."
"A what?" Twilight frowned.
"We don't have long. I'm only lucid because I've reached the point where I almost went under with the magic... I might be twisting Equestria--at least this part--into a timenado."
Twilight pressed, "Why?"
Starlight insisted, "Bury me in least permeable rock--granite maybe--Maud knows better."
Twilight asked, "but why?"
"Bury me." Tears came to Starlight's eyes and she spoke when Twilight, alone, returned to the chamber. Twilight Sparkle had left a large blackboard indicating that Starlight was loved. Everything was clearer again. She saw through the veil. Starlight was old again.
Starlight reset.
Forgot where she was. She kept talking about the past. She had spent significant time in the chamber, studying never-eating self-sustaining Starlight. Redsky Delight lost her mind.
Then Starlight was a baby in a bubble and she couldn't understand any more.
But it was only a half-mouth gesture. She tried to speak to Twilight and the mare in the hideous stained toque who were studying her, entreating her. She was partially in the dream and partially without. Starlight, only a child at this time, didn't have full control.
Rocks were also immutable. Dirt, however, dirt didn't change. Then they stopped. The messages turned to threats shortly thereafter. And "Twilight--I see blurred figures and movement and I think you see me. We need to reverse this spell--" A message of: "I see you beyond", repeated again and again. While reliving her first Hearth's Warming Eve, she had blinked rapidly in Hoof Code. They thought they got through to her. They replaced a blackboard with messages for Starlight--quite often. Structures twisted and decayed to original components. The process had strange effects on the chamber. Twilight and Redsky could see Starlight's past, reflected in her eyes.
She couldn't correspond with him. Her best friend went: and Starlight cried. She didn't go to the magic school. But she'd been hidden away by her Celestia-fearing mother, afraid Starlight would be snatched from her family. She wanted to attend Celestia's magic school. She studied time magic. She fought Twilight across time. Then they weren't. She and Twilight were friends. And she was forgetting.
Everything beyond her magical bubble, her sustaining bubble, was a blur.
Starlight winced from the pain, but she'd been brought back from the brink where she was bubbling apart and nearly wobblety-split into multiple realities: or death--they didn't know the outcome for certain. Forever. But it also trapped her. Starlight wouldn't deny that. Redsky's magic had helped.
Fluttershy buried them. Those bearing innate magic... had trouble. Twilight tested animals with and without magic. And aged as normal. Mice reached their yearling stage.
Screams. Starlight and Redsky Delight bubbled. Magic twisted. "This cannae be what the lassie wants. Cud is in the fire now. Bringin' her out. She's runnin' too hot!" Twilight's protege tried something.
"She's... fading." Time ticked far past fourteen hours. Her excess magic shouldn't have encased her in that cocoon--at least not for this long." Starlight, shaking and feeling her brain matter beating like a mixing egg could barely hear Twilight Sparkle sigh, "The bubble should have decayed seven times by now--for the hours Starlight tested... fourteen hours." They waited.
Twilight warned, "Don't touch her while she's phasing: anything might happen!"
Starlight's timer for her magic reached the tick-down point of zero back where it was supposed to be for the reset. She was supposed to momentarily de-age.. but instead she was glowing and giving off heat--radiating it and shaking.
Redsky chortled, "We cannae all be creative Cozy Glow."
"Redsky Delight. My second-least favorite pony." A flat, twisted voice from Starlight.
A toque-wearing pony raced into the chamber.
"It's like when we slipped into the time stream--but even more localized." Starlight shouted. But then her head pounded and her body twisted in strange contortions and her magical field fluctuated, bending everything inside, making it glimmer and twist at right angles. "I'm all right."
Twilight called, "Starlight--"
Starlight's voice rang hollow: satiated with echoes. "I should not be able to return to a point further than seven times before injection of the radionuclides. Only a few hours."
Twilight asked, "What's the cutoff? How young?"
"The magic should kick in momentarily and you should see me aging backwards." Starlight snorted, "fine." Twilight didn't have to say anything. "Yes, I got better, but.... Of course I know ponies said the same about me after I nearly destroyed the timeline and brainwashed a village. Of course she's a 'reformed' fluffpirate, but we can't trust her impulsive insanity. Besides, you're taking risks--gallivanting with that madmare at your side." Starlight's sentence trailed, "And I'm more careful... than last time.... You don't know all there is to know about magic, Twilight, just because you're an ageless alicorn!" "Excuse me!", Starlight snorted.
"Remember why?" She paused. "Time magic is banned," Twilight said.
"We'll have seven times as much life, since it takes at least seven times to decay. Our bodies' unstable aging particles can be prorogued. Organs can be intertwined with radionuclides. Life can be extended using principles of radioactive decay." Gleefully, Starlight Glimmer pranced, eyes twinkling through creased, aged eyelids.
"We'll reset everycreature's age! Yearling mice reverted to babies a bit over a month after initial injection. Twilight--it worked!"
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Nice idea and execution, if a bit confusing
11639639
Thank you for reading.
This was a good attempt. The premise is interesting, both in a narrative and a meta sense, but the execution was lacking. I don't think anything was gained by having the story be written backwards. I understand why you did it, of course. It just feels a bit too style over substance.
11642090
Thank you for reading. I realize opinions will differ; however, the backwards decision is intentional to set readers in the same position as the characters and to reflect what is happening to Starlight. I can only guess at your hypothesis concerning why it was done--perhaps you are hypothesizing as suspected (and, if not for you, then perhaps this will be of note for someone), thus, a detailed description: It is a physical metaphor for the at-sea effects of dementia, rather than using broken thoughts and structures or blandly approaching the issue straightforwardly and clinically with no style. Also relevant: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Curious_Case_of_Benjamin_Button_(film). Must this story have been written backwards? No. But it adds depth and I would not have wanted to write it a blandly straightforward way. Being written backwards encourages readers to experience the same at-sea feelings the characters feel--it is crafted to get one deep within the story and to feel a sense of unease.
The story can also be read front to back, as a thought experiment on the nature of time and of writing and how much things change when viewed through a different lens. I did what I could to make it readable both ways. Although I do not expect many to ultimately read it both ways--reading forwards to back results in a bit more of an ironic darkly humorous read that hopefully adds something to the experience.
Further, Starlight's dementia, caused by applying magic as a metaphor for minimally-tested pharmaceuticals, affects everything around it, twisting and negatively affecting many aspects of one's life and surroundings, which can be a problem assailing families and friends. Redsky Delight plays the role of a friend/family member who is disliked, but who gives everything to care for the patient. At the end, Starlight will exit from her dementia and maybe she will die like the rodents--maybe she will live out as normal, although that is unlikely. The story, essentially, is quite grim at its ending--it is not a feel-good piece.
Love this, especially with how it can be plausibly read from either direction.
It seems the word limit is throttling its potential, though, and I'd really love to see this excuted in a full story.
rip
of all the ways to go out this is the most Starlight Glimmer
it is interesting that reading the paragraphs “forward” also works as a conversation, with the change of Twilight sounding dismissive
aww, Maud would know!
and augh, love this
and oof, reading it in this order introduces an OC backwards, and honestly i love the effect
and augh, that blackboard! a “callforward”, in this case?
love this poetry that is also literal
and ooh, neat explanation for how Starlight avoided whatever system Celestia uses to make sure all prodigiously talented unicorns in the realm are kept close to her. i might have to steal it myself
and the mice!
aww im glad that Twilight’s protégée has a distinctive regional accent. also great ponified stock phrase
oh yeah that is definitely not a good sign
augh, and knowing that Redsky spends the rest of her life and sanity trying to rescue Starlight makes this heartbreaking to read
the red circled text meme where i circle “twist” and put a picture of Twist next to it
yeah it’s hard for Starlight to have two legs to stand on warning Twilight against associating with recently reformed and neurodivergent villains
and there is the problem! clearly things that come in sixes promote Harmony in the world of Equestria, while nothing good comes of things that come in sevens
and augh, the hope and delight in this, knowing how it turns out! and given Starlight’s advanced age and Starlight’s Starlight, it makes all too much sense for her to jump right into testing it on herself despite the risks involved. and i loved how Redsky Delight was just a name at the beginning but her awful fate retroactively grew more heartbreaking as she was equinized by her interactions with Starlight towards the end. wonderful stuff, i really loved it. thank you for writing!
There’s something weirdly funny about “timenado.” Given the circumstances, I suppose Starlight was in no state to come up with something catchier.
In all, this was an interesting concept, but you may have been better served by not reversing the order of sentences in each paragraph. Reading bottom to top is simple enough thanks to line breaks. Having to go left to right, then wind back looking for the next sentence is a lot more complex, and the more work your gimmick demands, the more it’s going to break reader immersion.
There’s good work to be had here, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that the execution could have been smoother.