Interlude 3: Family and Friends
From within the depths of a large wooden barrel of fresh water, a number of fish cowered at the bottom, looking up fearfully towards the surface of the water. A face loomed over them. A scarred, burnt face with a psychotic grin straight out of the nightmares of a traumatised child. It leaned in close, so that its nose was almost touching the water, and it opened its mouth to speak. To the primitive brains of the fish, the sound it made was indescribable.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY FISHIES!" Second screamed at the water barrel, "I GOT YOU A GRENADE!"
The human pulled the pin and threw the grenade into the water. It immediately began to sink, and he turned away from the barrel and ran across the throne room to escape the coming blast.
"TAKE COVER!"
He scooped up Silver Vein in his arms and dove over an overturned table resting on its side. The two peeked out over the top of it as the grenade detonated and the barrel exploded in a glorious spectacle of wood splinters and flying water. The dead fish scattered across the throne room afterward were just the icing on the cake.
Second laughed heartily.
"Oh boy! That was classic! We are so doing that again!"
"Heh...Yeah..." Silver said nervously.
"You don't look like you're having fun."
"...I kept fish when I was a little filly."
Second ruffled her mane and vaulted over the table to go retrieve the remains of the barrel. He casually lifted all the wood and water off the floor with his developing telekinesis and began to reform it for another go.
"Go down to Celestia's aquarium and get me some more," he instructed.
Silver smiled and gave a dutiful salute. As she left, Second continued reconstructing the barrel and collecting up the water to refill it. There had once been a time where he could only use his telekinesis to affect Sliske, or other elements of the MLP world that he was ultimately responsible for creating. For whatever reason though, his powers were growing.
It was a noticeable growth too. The fact that he was able to use such powers on just about anything now was indication that his span of control was increasing. Having enhanced abilities was always welcome, but he couldn't help but feel like it was an omen of sorts. It felt to him like the universe wasn't confident in his ability to fight. Like he needed this power boost if he was going to match his opponent in the final battle.
And that just made him wonder. If he wasn't strong enough yet to take on his final enemy, just who was he supposed to fight?
Hahahahaha...
There it was again. A distant echoing sound that made the human's hairs stand on end. There was a chill in the throne room, and he remained frozen in place.
"...Where are you?" he asked.
He was answered by the sound of footsteps behind him. He didn't dare move. He was terrified by what he thought he would see, but he was very aware that it was getting closer to him. The thing was wearing a pair of heavy boots that echoed loudly on the stone floor. When it was just a short distance away, it stopped walking.
Second swallowed, and looked over at his shoulder at the visitor. He turned around to face him properly as he recognised the skinny, middle-aged man standing before him. The man looked at him blankly through a pair of square glasses, and he wore a grey suit and a tie, all for the purposes of emphasising his mundaneness, and his lack of a soul.
"Howard," he said simply.
"Nathan..."
***
Several thousand light years away from Equestria meanwhile, a meeting took place. In the heart of the Chellgrad system, on the planet of Nostos, a high council composed of the oldest and wisest members of all the united alien races that made up their society, met to discuss the coming danger.
"Order! Order!" the Chairman shouted over the din, "We've much to go over..."
The tentacle faced being sat back down in his chair again, and drummed on the table with his many slimy fingers.
"Now," he began, finally with the attention of the whole room, "As you are all no doubt aware, we're dealing with a catastrophe on an unprecedented scale here. Whole worlds consumed; gone, in the blink of an eye. It's my sad duty to report that we most recently lost contact with the Gelrocksyss system in the outer rim of our native galaxy. My sincerest condolences to all of our Galsranth representatives."
A number of mostly liquid creatures inside robotic suits bowed slightly, in a gesture indicating sadness or displeasure, though they were silent of any kind of vocal response.
"What we're dealing with here, we aren't quite sure," the Chairman continued, "Refugees that came back from the forefront of these lost systems report an amorphous yellow mass, moving through space at an alarming speed. Some call it 'indescribable', but others have managed to give vague details all the same. All reports do consistently show for example, that our mysterious enemy is a being of great size, almost unimaginable to us; fully capable of engulfing entire planetary systems."
The Chairman's fifth and sixth eyes, which were located on the end of a pair of stalks jutting out of the side of his head, looked around the room at the rest of the council members.
"So, what do we plan to do about this?" he questioned.
"What can we do?!" shouted a burly crustacean alien, "You heard what the surviving Time Lords said! If Gallifrey can fall before this monster, what chance do the rest of us have?!"
"I would like to point out, Councilman Kralquest," said a bug-eyed female with an extremely long neck, "that the accounts we got from the Time Lords suggested that Gallifrey's fall was not the work of the monster itself. It may have been destroyed, but we still do not know if it was the monster's work, or that of an inside saboteur, and the Time Lords are still being tight lipped about where this thing actually came from in the first place."
"Are you accusing the Time Lords of keeping secrets from us?" asked the Chairman.
"I did not mean to imply the Time Lords were keeping anything from us in any official capacity. The refugees do not represent their government after all, and we've heard no word from Councilman Rassilon one way or another, including whether or not he even survived in the first place. What I am saying, is that as far as we know, Gallifrey was the first planet this monstrosity devoured, and so the Time Lords of all people are more likely to know about its origins."
"And..." interjected a Galsranth, speaking in a creepy synthetic voice, "As a fully time travel capable species, they'd be more able than most to mount an investigation into the origins of our aggressor."
The Chairman sighed.
"What few survivors from the incident we do have were all civilians, escaping the destruction. We're no more able to ask them to mount an investigation than we are any non-government group or organisation, and certainly not individuals, no matter how reputable they may be."
Councilman Kralquest tilted his head.
"But surely the Doctor-"
"-Is unqualified, councilman," the Chairman cut in, "By all rights he should be considered an outlaw and a terrorist by the Alliance, but we let him continue on his way despite that, even though I've yet to hear a good reason why. Actively seeking him out for assistance is unnecessary. The Alliance has enough resources to deal with this on our own, without resorting to begging for help from that rogue."
There was an awkward silence for a moment.
"As members of the Alliance, the Time Lords are obligated to help investigate this," said a hairy biped with six arms, "Though they may not be government, the surviving Time Lords, if they are unwilling or unable to investigate this for us, should be made to hand over their TARDISes so that certified Alliance scouts can conduct the operation themselves."
The Chairman stared at him.
"Councilman Mestrav, I hope you realise the serious implications behind such a suggestion. Councilman Rassilon, were he present, would have considered such an act nothing less than a declaration of war."
"I am aware, Chairman. However, he is not present, and it is quite clear to me by now that the Time Lords no longer have an organised government. With that in mind, the survivors of their race carry the burden of responsibility, and continue to hold the same roles within the Alliance. They are obligated by the same promises, and given that this has harmed them too, we should expect nothing less than their full cooperation."
"Or they may see it as an aggressive takeover," Kralquest replied, "They're a proud people, and traditionally isolationist. It was enough of a saga just getting them to join us. If we start demanding that they surrender technology that has been integral to their culture for billions of years, and previously one of their most well guarded secrets, in this moment while they're weakened and in need?
"That doesn't sound to me like a benevolent alliance looking to help. It sounds like a greedy empire, looking to steal what little its fallen ally has left. And even in their current state, they're not a force to be trifled with. If whichever new leader they choose is anything like Councilman Rassilon, that won't end well. And when we're dealing with a crisis like this, the last thing we need is internal disputes or civil war, because you all know what that can lead to. I'm sure many of you remember well what happened to Zarlow..."
The council collectively shuddered.
"...Nevertheless," the Chairman said warily, "We must still-"
The room went red. Lights began to flash, and a distant alarm began to sound. It broadcasted its emergency warning on all frequencies, both audio and telepathic. The council members all looked to each other in horror.
"No..."
"It can't be..."
"Already?!"
The speakers flared up.
"THE ENTITY IS APPROACHING. REPEAT. THE ENTITY IS APPROACHING. ALL LIFE FORMS EVACUATE THE PLANET IMMEDIATELY."
***
Gold Coin's head breached the surface of the muck.
"GAH!" he gasped as he reached the open air, "Finally I can breathe again! I feel so much better now that I'm no longer buried in..."
His pupils shrank as he realised that the mush he had just emerged from was a rather dark brown, and had an unpleasant smell.
"No..." he said to himself, shaking his head, "No...NO...NO!"
He looked around, and saw Softy, Mystic, Chain Mail, Luna and Blueblood all standing nearby, soaking wet, and looking at him in pity. They appeared to be inside the cargo hold of the Prometheus. The door opened up onto Ponyville, now enjoying a bright orange sunset.
The massive storage space was surprisingly empty without all the zombies/refugees cluttering it up. In fact, the only things present in the cargo hold other than themselves and the stuff Gold Coin had crawled out of were a long fire hose that came out of a grate in the floor, and what appeared to be a blue storage crate on the other side of the hold.
The stunned earth pony followed the hose pipe with his eyes, and eventually traced it back to somewhere behind him, where Explodey was alternating between it and a giant soapy sponge to clean a very uncomfortable looking dragon.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Gold Coin demanded.
Explodey glanced in his direction.
"What does it look like? I took a great big lumpy shit. And I did it all for you guys. You so totally owe me. This, right here, is what friendship is all about."
"Yes," Gold Coin replied sarcastically, "My friendship with you is much like a piece of shit. I don't ever want to think about it too much, or else I become violently ill. HOW WAS THIS NECESSARY?!"
"Use your indoor voice, Goldie."
Grumbling, the yellow earth pony pulled himself out of the huge pile of faeces and stepped onto the metal floor of the cargo hold.
"Think fast."
"Wh-?"
Gold Coin was knocked down by a sudden high pressure blast from the fire hose.
"There. That'll teach you not to be so ungrateful. Not many ponies are actually willing to shit their friends out, still live and wriggling. I am a saint, and you know it."
Gold Coin, completely drenched but substantially cleaner now, angrily turned to face Explodey.
"That's because nopony in history before now has ever needed to! This is a situation unique to you specifically, because most ponies don't fucking eat their friends alive, to make shitting them out again necessary in the first place! You are fucking disgusting, and I hope that this was as painful for you as it is mentally scarring for me."
"Believe me, I am suffering for this like you wouldn't believe. Fortunately we met with the Brotherhood of Man earlier, who were the ones who trapped me in here after I went all legion on you, to save anypony else getting absorbed, and that nice Iron Hoof guy got me this cream-"
"Explodey, shut up. I don't care. At all. Screw all of you guys. I'm going for a walk."
Gold Coin about turned and indignantly trotted away from the others, heading towards the open doors. Just as he was about to emerge into Ponyville however, he spotted a dull grey alicorn with rotten flesh and a torn apart head gliding down towards him, feathers falling off her wings and trailing behind her as she approached.
"OH FUCK!"
Gold Coin turned around and ran back into the cargo hold.
"RUN! RUUUUUN! IT'S THE FUCKING GRIM REAPER! I ALWAYS KNEW HE WOULD COME FOR ME ONE DAY!"
***
Celestia touched down lightly on the ramp leading into the immobile airship; she had seen it in the distance as she approached the town, and figured that such an out of place aircraft was as good a place as any to start searching for her sister, and the new Elements of Harmony.
She was very eager to meet them actually. She had briefly seen a few of them before she died, but it wasn't even discovered that they held the power until after she was already gone. This was an important first meeting, and she had to make a good impression.
Confidently, the princess strode into cargo hold, and noticed that there was a yellow earth pony running away from her extremely fast before she even landed, screaming something along the lines of;
"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! TAKE SOFTY INSTEAD! HE'S WAY OVERDUE!"
He was running towards a group of ponies at the other end of the cargo hold, who were gathered around a pile of unidentified brown stuff. Spike was also nearby, back turned to her and being cleaned with a fire hose. She recognised a few faces from the group.
One of them was a member of the Blueblood family. The one cleaning Spike was that unicorn Second had created. And the one in the strange black armour was Chain Mail, who she recalled was recently made captain of the royal guard, after his predecessor retired about a month ago. She hadn't had many dealings with him. Luna was mainly the one who handled their military anyway.
And speaking of Luna, isn't that...
Her face lit up as she spotted her sister, and galloped over to say hello.
The others had seen her first though, thanks to Gold Coin's screaming and panicking. Spike and the other ponies all took a moment staring at her before springing into combat position.
"NO!" Luna shouted over them, "Normal ponies can't hurt alicorns. You all stand back. This is my duty."
The Elements of Harmony obediently stepped aside, and Luna approached Celestia. She was doing her utmost to keep her composure and appear confident, but years of knowing her allowed Celestia to see past her facade. To the older alicorn, her sister's insecurities were obvious.
"You...Get back, you...you monster!" Luna shouted, "You dare defile our dead? My sister no less?! Back away!"
She jumped forward at Celestia, lunging at her in a move that would have been very threatening had she still had her horn. Unfortunately, without it, she was just making jabbing motions with her head.
"Luna, please..."
The younger sister only looked even more unnerved when she spoke, and continued her aggressive movements. Celestia stepped forward.
"I said back! Get away from me, you abomination!"
The undead princess continued to walk towards her, and Luna was the one who began to slowly back away instead. Celestia broke into a run, and Luna reared up to attack the zombie. When she came close enough however, Luna was surprised when she just pulled her into a close embrace and nuzzled her.
She winced, expecting to be bitten, but it never happened.
"...S-sister?" she said fearfully.
"I'm still here. It's still me, Luna."
"But...I saw Second kill you! I buried you! ...You're dead, Tia..."
"I'd never leave you alone again," said Celestia, "I made a promise, remember? And not even Second can make me break that."
She had so many questions. She was so confused. Nothing really seemed to make sense. But for the moment, none of those things mattered. What was important right now, was that her sister had come back for her, despite everything that told her she couldn't have.
Without the need for any more words, she quietly returned her sister's hug, and for the first time since five days ago, she was finally happy again.
***
Second began moving towards Nathan. At first it was a slow walk, but then he began to pick up the pace, moving into a light jog, and then finally breaking out into full-on sprinting. Nathan stood completely still, though looking surprised as he rushed towards him, and only reacted when Second was just a few feet away. By then though, it was too late for him to do anything.
CRACK!
Second smashed a fist right into the other human's face, breaking his nose. Nathan staggered back in pain as blood spurted out, and Second followed up with another punch to the other side of his head, knocking out several teeth this time as he struck his jaw. He cried in pain as Second hit him again, and again, and again.
Each strike was more furious than the last and did more and more damage. His blood flew through the air; it pooled on the floor, ran down his face and stained his clothes, and his attacker was practically soaked in it.
Eventually, Nathan fell on his back, screaming in agony. Second jumped on top of him and smashed his fists into his face again. The impacts were so powerful, that when Nathan moved his head to the side to avoid a blow, Second broke cracks in the stonework.
This continued for four minutes straight. Nothing but Second viciously and brutally beating Nathan into submission, until eventually he shattered his skull into tiny chips of bone and crushed his brain into paste. Second climbed off his victim, panting in exhaustion, and looked down at Nathan's corpse. He didn't even have a head any more. It was just red ruin.
He spat on it.
"Tell the devil he's next, prick."
He slowly turned away from the body, and meandered away across the throne room without any regard to where he was going. In his head, all his thoughts were jumbled and confused, all of them drowned out by rage.
He stopped when he heard an annoyingly familiar sound behind him. It was the same sound Explodey McGee made when all his loose biological material melted into that green liquid and came together again to reform. He sighed loudly, disappointed that he had failed to properly murder the object of his contempt.
He heard Nathan sit up.
"You were always jealous, Howard!" he shouted, "You always resented me because I did it first! I got out first! You kept trying to stick up for Brian, even though you knew what an irredeemable sack of shit he was! I bet the worst day of your life was when you had to admit that I was right, and move out of that redneck shithole! If it weren't for me, you would have stayed what you always were; a goddamn, ungrateful fucking leech, just like him! And you would have lived off dad just like him too, and I would have fucking punched you at his funeral just like you fucking punched him, you fucking hypocrite! You owe me your life!"
Second turned again to face him.
"WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE?!"
He wound up a punch and rushed across the room at his brother, and this time Nathan responded in kind.
END
Author's notes:
I saw the new Batman film yesterday. In my opinion, it's the best one so far, but only if you like it heavy on the character moments. Comparatively little action, but so much good stuff. Go see it.
Next Chapter: Two elder gods beat the ever-loving shit out of each other.
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This chapter seems normal in comparison to the last ones. Even with a zombie Celestia hugging Luna.
953957
I found my meds!
Vid related. It's me.
and then there was Doctor Who
next chapter looks to be awesome
Not all Galifreyans are Time Lords, y'know...
Time Lords are from Gallifrey, but not all of the people from Gallifrey get to go cavorting through time.
954044
Which is why only Time Lords survived. The regular Gallifreyans are for all intents and purposes extinct.
This updated? *takes hand and swats delicate technology off desk*
Time to clear up my schedule...
Every time I think I'm starting to understand what's going on in this story. The next chapter makes me realize I don't.
Vortal Combat for the win!
This felt...sane.
Yay fighting!!!
Now is it Doctor Who's The Doctor or is it Doctor Hooves [the supposedly canon name for the pony Doctor (so it's not Doctor Whooves anymore... which was a better name.)]
WAIT that is you in that video?!
Life is now complete... And this story makes more sense
955730
I missed a line or two myself, I will admit. His voice was still kickass though.
956436
Nah. Not really me. Though an accurate representation I like to think.
956621
That one's coming later, brah. Watch out for it.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m59cvinKfV1qjfxll.jpg
yes son. shit just got real. and will become even more real evry time i read this story.
When silver comes backs the rooms gona be even more destroyed and covered in blood than before.
953982
I honestly wouldn't be surprised if that actually was you.
Yay! Happy reunion.
A confrontation between two neigh but all powerful beings?!
Also, what is this!!!!
I just hope we get some explanation behind who Nathan is and how he got there.
fuuuuck
"What does it look like? I took a great big lumpy shit. And I did it all for you guys. You so totally owe me. This, right here, is what friendship is all about."
I lost it, I didn't think anything would make me laugh harder than the last chapter, but damn, Explodey is fucking hilarious. Thank you, Author, thank you.
Okay, so we have a giant space monster...
Zombie Celestia and Luna reunion (daawwww...)
and Nathan is... the BROTHER?
ohmygod this just keeps getting better and better
Family reunions are so much fun
poor, poor Gold Coin. I feel sorry for all the 'Shit' he gets into
Wait so Nathan is real and not a hallucination? Whaaaat?!
That's what friendship's all about alright, putting up with your friend's shit.
Oh shit...another one (human).
Dear god. Type FASTER!!!!
WELP. I officially just don't even know. Apparently that whole Gallifrey business was actually important, and all of the universe is being threatened. I finally understand this story a bit: Ancient. Fucking. Aliens.
Oh, and the main characters just got shit out of another one. Another first! Man, this story is full of them!
Just like my mind is full of fuck! And I LOVE it!
so many What The Fuck sirens are blaring in my head telling me to abandon this boat sailing for insanity before it ultimately breaks my sanity... but FUCK IT! I enjoy this shit!
Can someone describe Silver Vien to me. I completely forgot and I don't even remember what chapter she was in. So if someone could help with that I'd be rather grateful.