Day one,
Macintosh awoke before the predawn light and yawned rather loudly. He settled down again trying to go back to sleep before his eyes snapped open. Oh, right. I have quite a few things to do today.
He walked the short distance and wrote the quick letter he had planned last night. He placed the letter in a small bag along with massive red apple he had grabbed earlier. He made sure to grab the best apple possible; perfectly crisp, perfect ripeness, juicy, and a deep red color that matched his pelt.
A sharp rap rang out from his window, walking quietly over to it; Macintosh heaved it open to allow Owlicious in. With not much for the Owl to do, he mostly hung around apple acres for the abundance in small game to hunt. He would also stop by Macintosh's window in the morning to deliver the occasional letter to his mare.
He fed the owl a few seeds from the stash he kept for just that reason. Soon after handing the bag to the bird, which soon took off, he opened his small closet.
He threw his saddlebags over his back and loaded his items, a hefty bag of bits and a decent size box. He purposely ignored his heavy yoke and headed out of his room.
He walked down the stairs and headed into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. Macintosh opened the fridge and shifted his gaze through it. He nearly jumped through the ceiling when a voice spoke behind him.
"Ya headed out, Big Mac?" asked Applejack.
"Eeyup," he said.
"Whatcha going tah do today?"
"Ah was gonna stop by Celtic Slew first and then hang out with some other ponies," he said, grabbing some apple cider from the fridge.
"Is this 'some other ponies' a mare?" she asked sharply. He froze on his way to the counter.
No point in lying. "Eeyup," he said.
Applejack heaved a massive sigh, "Go ahead an take tomorrow off as well."
"Thanks AJ," he poured some apple cider in a canteen before throwing it in his saddlebags. He grabbed a few more apples to put in them before setting out the door.
Macintosh began the walk to Ponyville to talk and hopefully pick up his special order from the Scottish blacksmith, Celtic Slew.
__________________________________________
On the other side of Ponyville, Twilight awoke late in the morning after a late night of pouring over pregnancy books.
Luna had left last night to deal with some 'Official Business' last night, and hadn't gotten back yet.
After several failed attempts to wake Rarity, from her fainting incident, Rainbow Dash carried her back to her house before going home.
She walked down the stairs to the main floor and was surprised to see Owlicious there. He silently stood on her desk next to a small bag.
She levitated it toward and peered inside, she smiled to herself as her gaze landed on the hoof written letter and big apple. Twilight took the letter out and smelled it, catching the slight musk of Macintosh. She opened it and silently read it.
To the Mare of my Dreams
I have a few surprises for you today, one rather big. So, please take the rest of the day off and I will pick you up after your lunch date with Applejack.
With my everlasting love,
Your Stallion
P.S. I already gave Owlicious some treats.
Twilight snapped her head in time to see the Owl plunge his head into her stash off seeds for him. With a wry smile, she picked up the hefty apple.
Gazing into the beautiful red apple, she really didn't want to eat it. She bit into it and nearly fell over with glee. It tasted perfect. Her teeth made a satisfying *crisp* sound. Her nose was flooded with the fresh scent of apple. Juice dribbled down her chin and she rubbed her hoof across it to catch it. Ah, nothing like a Sweet Apple Acres apple.
She placed the apple down, What time was Applejack supposed to come over? she questioned herself.
A mighty knock sounded from her door. I guess now then.
___________________________________________
Macintosh finally found his way to Ponyville's sole smithery. Stepping inside into the continuously warm building, Macintosh immediately felt himself relax in the surrounding warmth. 'Clang!' a sharp retort of metal on metal rang out. 'Clang! Clang! Clang!'. Macintosh made his way to the back of the shop to the metal working area.
A massive oven of red-hot embers sat at one side of the room, huge bellows ready to provide air to it. Various tools and projects hung on the walls and littered the work desk against another wall. In the center of the room stood the stallion in question.
Celtic Slew stood bipedal, standing by an anvil. One hoof held a tool of some sort as the other hoof brought a heavy hammer down repeatedly.
The blacksmith turned around with the tool in hand, eyes obscured by work goggles to protect them from flying debris.
Celtic paused slightly upon seeing Macintosh, but continued moving and placed the tool back in the embers to warm up again.
"Ach, ma wee Aiple. Are ye here for yer special ordah?" asked the blacksmith as he pulled the goggles off his eyes.
Celtic Slew was the biggest stallion in Equestria; Macintosh’s shoulder came to the smith's armpit. The smith was Scottish in blood and practice and was also a talented smith.
Celtic Slew wore a thick leather apron over his chest to protect his dark brown body. "So, Ah take it you're here for 'em?" Celtic said in his very Scottish accent.
Macintosh nodded, "Eeyup."
"Ah must say Ah'm honored ya came tah mah for somethin' so delicate. A lot of ponies only come for tools an' such," Celtic said as he turned to his work desk. Rummaging through the mess, he soon turned back with a small box.
"You're very welcome, are they ready?" Macintosh asked.
"Yes, who's the lucky bonnie?" asked Celtic. Macintosh looked at him in fear of being found out, "Whit? Did ye really think I'm that much of a dunderheid to not notice?"
"Not, really," he admitted, "Ah just hoped you'd skip over that fact."
"She better not be a Bide-in," he threatened. Macintosh shook his head vigorously.
"Is it the quiet lassie?"
"Nope, my mare is strong, independent, smart, kind, funny, cute..." He blushed as he realized he was trailing on.
"Gloamin? Ah won't tell any pony," he said quickly. "Aboot time ye found a serious mare for ye."
Macintosh nodded his thanks, "How much?" he asked.
"Ye asked for Platnium, right?" Macintosh nodded. "58 bits." Macintosh pulled out his bag 'o bits and dealt out the required amount. He added a healthy 'tip' for Celtic's favor.
Celtic handed him the small package and he gingerly placed it in his saddlebags.
"Thank you," Macintosh said.
Macintosh turned to leave as Celtic called out, "Anyt’ing for a fellow Scotsman!"
"I'll keep that in mind!" he called back.
Next stop, he thought,Train Station.
___________________________________________
Applejack led the way to the simple café where both mares planned on eating for lunch. She had arrived about three minutes after Twilight got Big Mac’s note; Applejack had found the mare sitting at her desk reading a piece of parchment over and over again, smiling all the while. Applejack had pretended not to notice and went back outside to knock on the door. Now, she decided would be a good time to inquire as to what twilight was doing.
"It's a great day out, what were you doing indoors?" asked the farm mare.
Twilight blushed and said, "Oh, you know. Just some studying."
"On a day like this?" asked Applejack. "You're crazy tah waste a day that is, as would Rarity put it,” Applejack started animating her arms and put on her proper accent, “as wonderful and extravagant as one could hope for!”
Twilight giggled and nodded her agreement, gazing skyward. It was a beautiful summer day, comfortably warm but no harsh glares from the sun. Her eyes caught the cyan speck that had been circling her for the past hour.
After a little bit of walking, they arrived at the small café called Mare-Do-Well’s, a popular tourist food stop in Ponyville. Twilight and Applejack entered the café and were greeted by Salad Hooves, the owner/cook/waiter of the establishment.
“Hello my favorite phillies, what’ll it be today?” He already knew the answer, but he grinned like he expected a surprise.
“We’ll have the usual tulip and rose bud sandwiches, Salad,” Twilight grinned. The cook was about to head off when Applejack spoke up.
“Hold on there, Ah’m feelin’ like a roasted mare burger and a juniper shake ‘ll do me good.” As Hooves went to fix their orders, Twilight looked uneasily at her friend. ‘Applejack almost never orders fast food,’ Twilight thought. ‘When she does, that means something’s on her mind. I guess I’d better wait on her to open up before I say anything.’ The two friends found a table, and Applejack initiated the conversation.
“Twilight, Ah’m worried somethin’ awful for Big Mac,” the farm mare looked at her friend with a fittingly worried expression. She fidgeted as she continued. “He’s been acting all strange, like comin’ home late every other night and leavin’ early in tha mornin’ before tha family wakes up. And,” Applejack’s tone turned into a mix between grave and disgusted, “Ah’ve heard strange cloppin’ and gruntin’ noises comin’ from his bedroom after dinner.” Both ponies shuddered at what that could mean, though Twilight wasn’t disgusted as much as intrigued by the news. Her mind started to wander off, recreating the sounds coming from the room, the only difference being that it was two different voices making the pleasurable vocalizations echoing off the walls. The memory made her blush, which she tried to hide from Applejack. The farm mare didn’t notice and continued voicing her inner concerns.
“Ah don’t know what ta do Twilight. It’s hard to speak ta him when he’s gone most of the day, and ya know how quiet he gets when he wants ta hide somethin’ from somepony.” Applejack sighed and looked down at the table. “Sorry if Ah’m ruinin’ our lunch date, Twi. Ah just don’t know what ta do and Ah really needed somepony ta talk to that would listen.” Twilight smiled nervously and reached across the table to grasp her friend’s hoof.
“Applejack, I’m sure whatever Big Mac is doing isn’t anything to worry about. You just have to be patient with some colts.” Applejack nodded in agreement as Twilight shivered in excitement. Applejack was about to ask if she was all right when said mare interrupted her as she continued speaking. “Big, strong, healthy, handsome colts whose sweat smells of apples and hard work and makes their bodies shine in the afternoon sun, whose eyes make you want to give yourself in to his glory and swim in the green ocean surrounding his irises, wishing he would mount you and make you his queen for eternity…” Applejack was taken aback by her friend’s words. She also noticed how her friend’s eyes, seemingly gazing into her own, were actually focusing on nothing in particular. ‘Well buck,’ thought Applejack. ‘Ah’ve seen mare’s in heat, but this takes the bushel,’ She waved a hoof in front of Twilight’s face, the mare still caught in her dream-like trance.
“Hey, Twilight, ya in there?” Applejack started giggling. “Hellooooo, Equestria to Twi!”
Twilight broke out of her trance, remembering where she was. At the café with Applejack. Waiting on their food to arrive. Talking about Big Mac and Applejack’s concern about his activities outside (and inside) of the house. Feeling guilty as she thought about his muscular body, his sweaty neck, the passion and fire playing along his eyes and lips as they came in to close proximity of her own… Twilight’s brain made a snapping noise, making her hair messy and dirty looking, her eyes twitching and her smile lopsided.
“Applejack, I’m not feeling very well so I’m going to go home and rest and you shouldn’t worry about me so you can go home and not have to worry and don’t worry about paying because it’s all on me and we should do this again in about fifty-years or so and that’ll be so much fun and I’ll see you around Ponyville so you don’t have to come to the library to visit anytime soon and I’ll see you around BYE!”
Twilight practically ran over Applejack as she dashed out of the restaurant towards her tree house, screaming friendly greetings to anypony that was in her way. Applejack stared in obvious shock as she tried to think of what could have made Twilight so distraught and insane, and she nearly jumped out of her seat when Salad Hooves came to the table with a tray full of food. She didn’t seem to notice since she was staring after the crazed pony. He looked at Applejack after a few minutes, not saying a word. Both ponies knew what the other was thinking; there was just no need to say it aloud.
“What the buck?”
A/N Special Thanks to Lunar-tic for this chapter, this chapter would quite literally not be here without him.
Ten points if you can guess what song this is from;
For freedom we rise
Learn to fly, reach the sky
Legend will carry you thousands of miles
Take a stand, hold the land
Make sure that everyone’s ready to win
Find the speed, all you need
Team up for battle we fly
Fly
Gravity hurts
Oh WOW! How can AJ have not yet figured it out?
And what will she do when she finally finds out?
1519186
Oh, you're good
The song is gravity hurts, like the Bionicle commercials
Merry Meet I could guess, but this one took Google to figure out.
Bonus points for the smith using "Gloamin" as code for little miss Sparkle.
1519335
Eeyup, figured it'd be good
What can Applejack honestly do in terms of consequences to Mac and Twilight's relationship? He's 3-5 years older, Applejack doesn't own the farm, he's an adult and Twilight is the student of a god/ruler. Mac needs to grow a set and just tell Applejack the truth and same goes for Twilight.
FIRST! Fun story. Can't wait for more.
1519477 Damn, guess I wasn't first. Oh well, still a good story.
Did Big mac buy a iron Cock Ring?
1519508
Well, we all know where you mind is
1519520 yes
Gravity Hurts, nice!
I'm surprised no one got the name of the cafe owner
I'll give yous a if yous guesses it
1519557 love your avatar
1519408 he wants to. Twilight wanted to keep it secret so Shining Armor didn't find out. At least Aj's thick-headedness is spot on
And Twilight wow... girl is hot for Big Mac
Scotsman?
You mean Scoltspony...
1525249
More like Scotstallion
1525354
Scoltstallion, then. Anyway, you pulled a double no-no. Scotland doesn't exist in Equestria. Humans don't exist in Equestria.
1525397 dude. My fellow brony. Making it hard to love and tolerate
Does it really matter that much? This is a fiction based website...
1525397
Scotland doesn't have to exist to leave behind studly stallions who can hold their liquor.
You know, just because of you, there is now an addition to my mental map of Equestria.
A northern part of it dubbed the Northern Highlands.
Might actually write a little story about the Highlands now.
1525563
Sorry. While it is fiction, humans still don't exist in canon... as far as I know...
1525726
I"m part Scottish. Besides, think of the punny potential here. Or you could just call him a Highlander. That is the group of Scots associated with the heavy drinking, anyway.
I think I got the right idea about the ring... HE'S GONNA PROPOSE TO HER!!!!
You mean 'fillies.' Last I checked, Twilight and Applejack aren't sandwiches.
1528215
Every heard of a pun?
1528373 Perhaps a little less subtlety would have helped.
Finally have a name for a TwiMac kid - Fireside (type of apple)->Unicorn stallion with coloring that matches a mix of the apple siblings- orange, yellow and red (fire) gonna see which combos look best, 1 fur color and 2-tone mane to match Twilight and her family!
now to give him a sibling....
I like the idea and the charicterisation, but the whole thing is moving too fast. there are too many time skips.
1529726
I would go with Spartan.
Because that is a type of Apple descended from the the MacIntosh apple. Also, Spartans were known for their laconic wit and intelligence... sound familiar?
1530604 oh you're good, but how to make it a pony name? just Spartan? Sparta Apple?
1530678
Spartan Apple.
1530678>>1530686
Me like
1530972
Just be warned... I am also writing a TwiMac fic.
In a much different direction. Let's just say SleeplessBrony is my confidant on this one(sincerely, too).
1531064 so a saucy, pervy Twilight and ridiculously in character?
I'll admit I was cheering for Braeburn in Romance Reports, he got the short change in the story.
Wow everyone's got a TwiMac in the works now...
1519408 Actually AJ does own the farm and is also pretty much the boss lady of the place; if any-pony of her family could out rank her, it would only be Granny Smith. And she could try to rough up Big Mac and/or Twilight, end the friendship between the two mares, or even declare a Feud between their two families (no bonds, no interaction, no friendly contacts, just silence, hostilities, and expect violence to erupt between the opposing parties) if she wanted to.
"Macintosh has been dating Twilight steadily for over a yeah and a half now"
I don't care what the reviews say; you need to fix up your grammar and spelling.
I will say this, though.
This is probably the best original story idea I've seen on FiMFiction.
1532242
How is my grammar wrong? You have to tell me how it's wrong or I just see the original thing and don't see any problem most of the time.
1531153
Pretty much. Although sex is not the only focus of the story. Just one of them. It isn't the plot of the story
Another focus is family. I am a Southerner myself, and my situation is somewhat similar to Big Mac's own. So, I have quite a lot I am drawing upon for the story..
1531153
Also, Don't worry about Braeburn. He will get a part in this one, and he won't get short-changed.
In talking with Sleepless, I realized he and I have very much in common. We both put a lot of focus on the artistic side of this.
1531846 when was it said that she owns the farm? sure the others said AJ's farm once or twice but you can say we're going to a friends house doesn't mean they own it (if they still live with parents).
If anything Granny Smith owns it, Big Mac does the heavy labor, and AJ is public relations/ main seller (Apple stand)
1540175 sounds fun, I'm trying to write a large ship story with the mane six finding special somepony's because of a certain pink alicorn
1540258
Huh. I'm using a pink alicorn, too. Might not be the same one, though. Great way to use all that research I did on apples.
1540301 eh i just googled various apple type, orchard names, and the many apple based food products
and unless Luna's been putting dye in Celestia's body wash or the toy comes to life, then there's only 1 pink alicorn.
1540258 It's a family run'ed/owned farm so technically all four family members (as well as distant family members) do own it (or at least an equal share). And with AJ shouting all the orders and making most of the decisions......go figure.
1540543
I spent time researching a shit metric ton of varieties of apples and converting their traits into ponies.
Take that as a hint to your query.
Not a bad story, even though it's at times riddled with errors and inconsistencies. To name a few: in the first chapter, you mention that Twilight and Big Mac's relationship has only been 5 months; yet in the previous chapter, it was mentioned as being over a year and a half old. And also, Big Mac seems to mention or imply having doubts about his relationship with Twilight in the first chapter, but they haven't been brought up anytime since. Also dunno how Luna linked the secret with the one pony Twilight didn't want to find out, if she didn't find out through the spell as you wrote; yet she somehow knew Twilight was preggers, when you haven't exactly mentioned how far along or if she even LOOKS pregnant in any chapter so far, despite the hints being more than obvious. And finally, on several occasions referring to Sweet Apple Acres as Apple Acres, more often than not (not as big of an issue, but not sure if wanna be consistent with the show's name for it, officially).
I do like TwiMac stories, but not sure if this should be rewritten. This chapter was... better than the last couple, but not entirely. Trying to be nice and not seem like brutally tearing apart your fic, but just not sure if right now, it kinda doesn't have much of a plot beyond their relationship being a secret and their hesitance in coming out to their siblings that're closest to them (as well as others, but mostly the siblings), which is going to be compromised by Twilight's pregnancy (supposedly, at this point, since again not sure what the length of their time being together is, even if you did make signs of Twi being knocked up, but not describing her belly or how far along might be, even if it's supposed to have been an unknown until last chapter, but could say how long it's been going on for, her symptoms). Sorry if went a bit overboard. It does have some good moments, such as Luna's old-time/medieval-type speaking in last chapter being referenced as a way to mess with ponies. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png Not to mention in this one, the thing Mac gets from the Scottish-type () pony... think I know what that is. But I have to ask: does the chapter 5 title reference Twilight and Big Mac's day each, or something else? Though not sure what the whole "Day one" at beginning was about, if that is the case...
Hopefully, take all this to heart and write the next chapter soon!
1572499
Caught me at a good time,
Wow, you are good
1572545
Well, not sure if should ask by what catching you at a good time means. Idly thinking aloud, so you don't have to answer that. And heh, only when I'm focusing exclusively on something I've been sorta reading that I kinda like, I guess (and I guess pretty much awake, even though I could use some sleep right now, as writing these reviews). As didn't say I don't like it, as prior review might constitute as far as its message; but trying to be friendly, as someone who's failed in his own attempts at writing good stories in the past, only to rush them and not I think be as well-received as I had hoped. Not that it seems rushed or you released chapters too frequently, but you know what I mean. Just glad my review wasn't taken poorly! Not that hasn't usually happened where I'm concerned, but know there are those who don't take criticism too well.
1572564
I generally take criticism to heart just cause they took the time to point it out. So, I thank you.
Apparently Mac has to chop him some wood. And so did Twilight.