Shining Armor wants to know what his parents mean when they talk about his grandfather's "legacy". To do so, he ventures into the nearly untouched attic of his house.
Will he find the answer to his question?
This story was inspired by the cover image and the short blurb below it, which was done by johnjoseco over at DeviantArt: http://johnjoseco.deviantart.com/
You may not ever see this, but thank you, johnjoseco, for making such a great image that inspired this story. You deserve far more credit than I do.
Chapters (1)
Dawwwwwwwwwww this is a great story best one I've read in a while
Wow, this was really impressive- I love the scene you create and how you convey Shining's emotions and thoughts- very moving.
I like the characterizations you have created here- I think it's a great representation of a young Twilight, both immature and mature.
Great descriptiveness and use of imagery in painting a picture of their grandfather- both in what you included and what you left out.
Very impressive! I think I saw a few minor grammar omissions ("He thought about asking his parents,") and a couple of words that seemed out of place, though when I re-read the passage about 'falling and breaking their clavicle' i decided that it was more interesting than the expected 'break a leg' or break their neck'. I certainly can't stand and castigate anyone for verbosity or choosing words for their flavor!
Liked, favved, watched! You know, it's not nice adding so many stories to my 'must read' backlog!
I was expecting this to be Shining Armor's cutie mark story.
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Thanks, glad you enjoyed it
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But I'm glad you enjoy mine lol. Thanks for the watch and fave
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I am actually considering doing something like that down the line. I really like writing young Shining Armor and filly Twilight stories. Though that one probably wouldn't have filly Twilight in it since she'd be too young. Still thinking about it, though.
I really loved this story. I once had an experience akin to this one; joined the Navy because of it.
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Awesome, glad you were able to connect with it.
And thank you very much for your service
Isn't it annoying when you run out of words to say to people about how good their stuff is?
I'll just say that this is really good and has earned a
.
Though, one problem:
Perhaps 'ponies' is a better word. Just a suggestion.
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Fixed. Thanks for the heads up
I love your stories about filly Twilight and colt Shining. They're always adorable
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Haha, thanks. I really enjoy writing them (filly Twilight's cuteness is always fun to include lol). It's been a while since I did a young Shining story, but I'm thinking about doing one where he gets his cutie mark. Maybe over Winter Break I'll work on it a little
If you want it vetted, I'd be happy to help- I love this story and think it deserves to get featured over on EqD.
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Sure, I'll put it into a google doc later tonight and share it.
Excellent, excellent story.
I enjoyed it, I really did. Shining's emotions were handled very well and you are very good at describing the environment. You've also chosen a very original theme, namely the start of Shining's guard career, so that's also a plus point. Also, filly Twilight is just so adorable, I just want to squeeze her cheek and make funny faces, but I don't think she would appreciate that very much. At first my mind was complaining about Twilight's vocabulary, but I realized it was Twilight we're talking about, so it was okay.
This was in the incoming folder of Twilight's Library and since I'm a proofreader for the library, consider this story added. Congratulations.
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Thanks, I'm happy that you enjoyed it
Gotte agree with everyone here^^ It really is a great story. I definatly wouldnt mind a sequel to it^^
To favorite? Or not to favorite? That is the question! Whether 'tis nobler to simply like.....
"The up- and down-votes of outrageous fortune,
or take arms against a sea of trolls."
Yeah, I suck at this
Great Story. IT helped explained why Shinning wanted to join the guard. I can't wait for your next story.