Part 3 - The Victim
All is silent. The audience sits in shocked disbelief. Then a voice erupts from the crowd.
"LIAR!" Rainbow Dash's voice cracks as she shouts the word. She leaps from her place, and is kept from the stage only by the quick action of her friends. She struggles against them, tears streaming down her face.
And like a pebble beginning an avalanche, that word is the catalyst for a torrent of shouts and exclamations. Some, like Rainbow Dash, accuse Joe of lying. Some level their accusations at the Princess, calling for answers from the leader of Equestria. Many ponies begin to push forward against the guards again, and in the chaos, Rainbow Dash breaks free from her friends and shoots toward the stage, faster than they or the guards can react.
She is halted by magic, held tightly in a glowing yellow aura. Another word cuts through the air like a shockwave:
Silence.
It is not a request. No pony is certain whether the word was spoken, or whether the will of its originator was imposed directly onto the world around them. What they do know is that they are silent. Their shouts die in their throats as the air around them seems to thin, and the shoving subsides. All eyes go to the princess.
"The accused will be allowed to speak." The simple words are precise and controlled, mirroring the cold steel in Celestia's expression. Rainbow Dash is placed firmly back among the others, and makes no effort to fly up again. No pony dares defy the command.
Joe continues his story.
Her eyes left mine, and she lowered her head, her ears hanging limp in her shame. I tried to stroke her cheek, to reassure her, but she lifted a hoof and brushed mine away.
"We spent the rest of the week together, there in the castle. I won't say I didn't enjoy it, having her all to myself like that. She's a goddess, Joe, and she was all mine. All the secrets of magic she knew, they were open to me. All the forgotten stories of the world, they were only the right question away. The knowledge and the riches of an entire kingdom were at my hooftips. I had only to ask, anything I could imagine, and she would give it willingly. And you can't imagine the pleasures she showed me...
"I deserved none of it. Even as she draped me in silks, as she gifted me with the brightest jewelry, as she opened up the deepest secrets of magic to me, even as her great white wings enfolded me and we made the most beautiful love imaginable, I knew in my heart that I didn't deserve it. Because, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't return that love.
"And she was so kind, so understanding through it all. That was the worst of all, I think. If I wanted attention, she was there beside me. If I needed space, she would leave me be, just waiting patiently for me to be ready again. She listened so intently to everything I said. Just like she always has. I could tell her anything.
"Anything except the one thing I most needed to tell her.
"By the end of the week, I couldn't stand it anymore. Every word of love I spoke rang false in my ears. Every touch of her body was poison against my skin. I had to get out. So I gave her an excuse about having to get back to my duties at the library. She was completely understanding, of course.
"I made some empty promise about being back soon, and I ran. I think I was originally planning to go to the train station, but... instead, I found myself walking into the one place in Canterlot where I'd always felt safe. Where I could tell any secret and not fear being judged.
"Even this one.
"When I saw you, Joe... I knew what I needed. I needed somepony to take away all the things I didn't deserve. To scour away the gentle touches. To burn off the kindness and understanding. To punish me for all the things I had stolen with the lie of 'I love you.'
"I knew you would do it for me. You were always there when I needed you."
She pressed herself into my embrace then, and buried her face against my neck. I felt her tears start to flow again, and I held her. She was right. I would always be there for her.
"She invited me back again the next week. I went. Of course I went. How could I refuse her, of all ponies? We spent the week together. Even when she was attending to her duties, she always made sure I was attended to just as dutifully. If she couldn't be there, there was always a new book from her private library for me to read, or a servant waiting to pamper me with some treatment or another.
"It should have been bliss. Instead, it was torture. Because it was all built on a lie: 'I love you.'
"At the end of the week, I ran again. I came to you again. And you washed it all away. But it wasn't enough. Each week, she invited me back. I started making excuses, arriving later and later and spending less time there, but I always went. And it always ended the same way: I ran to you. But it wasn't enough. It was never enough."
She burrowed deeper into my embrace, and I held her. What else could I do? I held her, and stroked her back. Slowly, with her energy and her anger spent, her breathing slowed. Soon, her body relaxed against mine, and she drifted into an uneasy sleep.
I carried her to my room and laid her in my bed, then lay next to her, watching over her and thinking over what I had heard. It was nearly morning by the time I slept.
As always, she was gone when I awoke.
For three more weeks, she came to me, and I took her to my bed. For three more weeks, I absolved her of the sins she assigned herself and then released her to commit them all over again. For three more weeks, I used her body as she demanded I do, and she took her comfort at my hooves.
On the fourth week, she came to me broken.
I don't know what happened. I didn't ask her, and she didn't tell me. But she moved listlessly, with her head hung low, as if she simply didn't have the will to lift it. When she met my eyes that evening, there was an emotion that I had never seen there before, even when things were at their worst: hopelessness. They were the eyes of a mare who lost the will to change the world.
I took her to my bed, but she demanded nothing from me, and I forced nothing upon her. I simply took her into my embrace and held her. We lay like that for a long time before she spoke to me, her voice quiet.
"I can't go on like this, Joe. There's nothing left of my life but lies. I smile for Princess Celestia and tell her I love her. I smile for my friends and tell them that everything is wonderful. I come to you and tell myself that you can make it better.
"I can't tell her the truth. I couldn't bear the hurt that would be in her eyes. I couldn't bear how she would lock it all away in a moment and put on the mask of the untouchable princess again. I couldn't bear the way she would apologize for what she did, like it was all her fault. But it wouldn't be her fault. It would be mine, and I would know it. And she would never smile for me again, not the smile she used to give me, not the one behind the mask. She'd never be just Celestia to me again.
"And I can't tell my friends the truth. The pity on their faces, all the ways they would try to help me... they could never understand. They never did. They never took me seriously when I was worried about things. They always laughed and said, 'Oh, that's just Twilight fussing over nothing again. Don't mind her.' They would say, 'Just tell her what's wrong. She'll understand.' Of course she would understand. But they never will. And I couldn't bear all the things they would say because of it.
"But it's time to tell myself the truth, Joe. And the truth is that it will never be better."
She looked up then, and in her eyes I saw that little purple filly of years ago. A spark of hope, an unquestioning trust. I had always had an answer for her before. Whether the problem had been big or small, I had always known what to say, what to do, to make my favorite customer smile again. Now the unspoken plea was there again: do something. Anything. Let me smile again.
She no longer knew what she wanted, what could be done. She had reached the end of her last checklist, and despite every device of her brilliant mind, she was without a solution. But she knew that whatever it was, whatever answer had eluded her, I would have it. I always had.
"Please, Joe..."
You may call what I did wrong. Maybe it was. But you aren't me, and you weren't there. To me, there, as I gazed into her tearful, hopeless eyes, as the little filly in the mare's body stared up at me, seeking any escape from the torture that her life had become, it was the right thing to do. The only thing I could do, if I wanted not to let down the filly who had put all her trust in me.
It's a simple bit of unicorn magic to stop a heart, or to cut the flow of blood to the brain, or any number of other tiny but fatal changes. Most of them are entirely painless. All of them are easily shrugged off by pony's natural defenses. She could have resisted. She could have countered the spell, could have told me that I was wrong, that there had to be another way.
She didn't. Her face registered surprise, then recognition--I don't think there's a spell in Equestria that brilliant mare wouldn't have recognized--and then it became a sad sort of gratitude. Her smile started to return at last, a little half-smile that told me she understood. Then, as her eyes closed and her breathing slowed, she lifted her muzzle to mine.
We shared our first and last kiss that night. And then she lay still.
Joe's voice, steady throughout his story, catches on the final words. He falls silent, and that silence is reflected throughout the theater and the gardens surrounding it. Even the birds have stopped their songs to listen, and the breeze itself dares not blow in that moment.
Joe turns, finally, to face his accusers once more. Twilight Sparkle's mother and father stare at him, unable to reconcile all he's told them, but unable to simply dismiss it as a lie. Shining Armor has shifted his attention to Celestia, his face uncertain.
And Celestia's mask has broken. She meets Joe's eyes with sadness written plain across her features, and his own face mirrors it. There is no anger or malice in their gaze, no animosity. Between them, there is only grief, and a shared regret for a tragedy that need never have happened.
Then Celestia delivers her judgment.
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The end.
There you have it. The product of an inspiration that wouldn't get out of my head until I put it to paper. A story of moral gray areas that raises more questions than it answers. Joe's fate, I leave up to you. But if you're interested in reading just a little bit more, and really want to know what happens next...
I might be able to offer some possibilities.
My wat.
That was...very good. Depressing as hell, but very good.
Loved it.
Never thought of Twi as a SM type, though.
Great story, but I wouldn't want to meet your muse in a dark alley.
I think the ending is perfect the way it is. One last punch in the gut, and fade to black. Linking to epilogues is cheating.
...and then the world exploded, making Joe's final fate booth a mystery and a moot point.
Celestia was quite embarrassed.
Damn you, now I'm depressed.
meh
Moral ambiguity my ass.
More like a comedy of errors starring a cast of idiots.
Can't take any message or emotional affectation from this because it's so incredibly hard to believe that everyone in this story could be so profoundly moronic.
There are myriad ways this story could have been tweaked to reflect a more believable premise and reasonable sequence of events without all the facepalming.
This is really well written and the basic story and premise are strong, but the plot was... ugh. Overall I'm not rating this because our thumbs only represent "good" and "terrible", and this was really neither... just annoyingly dumb.
Nice. How would you go about the deaths of the rest of the Mane six I wonder?
Well, that was depressing...
This was very strange. I will refrain from voting, but... it's not poorly written, but the concept is so utterly bizarre... I cannot say whether or not I liked this. Good job writing it, I think. A little suspension of disbelief since I don't think Twilight would act like that, but... I just don't know.
1713640 Oh no...
1714505 It was kinda a "meh" to me.
_Hate_.
Don't get me wrong - the technical architecture of the story is grand. The content, however...
He has _no right_ to do this. When he made the decision to end her life, he knew that there would be consequences - by going through with it, he accepted them. The only thing he could possibly hope to achieve here is to inflict some measure of his and Twilight's suffering on Celestia. Considering that her only crime was _being in love_, and that it was _Twilight_ who couldn't bring herself to crush that, Celestia _does not deserve punishment_.
Does he have a wife and kids? Clearly not, otherwise he would have denied Twilight's advances. His parents, he could have informed privately.
But this? This is a cheap shot designed to hurt an innocent party, and I for one am _disgusted_.
1714511 >_< Why is it that we are always on the same story?! It may actually be destiny, that we're linked in some insane fate, and these are the first steps. Actually... Maybe I already know you...
Judgement is obvious. GUILTY AS CHARGED
This. this is good.
"It wasn't right. I knew it wasn't... It wasn't right, but I did it anyway."
You may have been going for ambiguity but there is none here. Your Joe is completely despicable in word and deed.
While there is life there is hope. Hope that errors will be corrected, mistakes rectified. Death ends every hope. Twilight couldn't refuse Celestia because the princess would be hurt? How much greater is the hurt she bears now? (To say nothing of all the other ponies who knew and loved her.) Twilight needed help and she got betrayal instead. With one vile deed, your Joe caused more suffering than all the other MLP villains combined.
Tch. Everytime I read about suicide, sort of, I am always left with a sour taste in my mouth. I will commend you on attempting a more dark, tragic fic. But this is... this is not what you want out of darkness and tragedy.
I must agree with what was said in former comments : Joe is absolutely immoral and repugnant in this. What, a disgruntled filly comes to you for sex for months and all you can think of to ease her pain is to kill her?! What?! Anybody who claims to have a tiny bit of humanity, or equinity in this case, will pursue life. Suicide is an escape, not a solution. Not to mention that Joe, by revealing the entire fucking thing to the entire fucking nation, pretty much spreads pain and agony to every single soul who had to hear this. Thanks for pretty much heart raping the one pony, Celestia, who didn't deserve this.
No. I disagree. This was not your best work. This was pretty much a slap in the face of everything I hold dear.
Guilty as charged. To the dungeons for being as damaging to Celestia as Nightmare Moon was. More, even, as I am inclined to believe.
1713822
I agree, the epilogues were cheating. The story ended with Part 3. That's why they got demoted down out of the story, past even an in-chapter author's note, into a single link in a comment that half the people reading probably won't even see. But I just loved them too much to give them up entirely.
1713868
You'd be surprised by just how many of the possible epilogues for this story ended with everyone dying for one reason or another.
1714027
I expected that from you. But tell me more, if you don't mind taking the time. How would you change it?
1714071
Well, I have another idea for a story, and this one results in the death of all of them except Twilight. But I think I've had more than enough of dark stories for the moment.
1714117
I'll be honest, the student ending is still my favorite too!
1714567
I'm glad I could evoke such a strong emotion.
You'll be on the "guilty" side, then. You've got lots of company.
1714583
Hmm, maybe. Or the title could just be referring to his plea. Can't go giving it away that easily.
1715188
I don't understand the question.
1714996>>1715371
I couldn't agree more with your views on suicide. Joe's greatest mistake throughout the story was in thinking that he could solve Twilight's problems by giving her what she wanted. And maybe he misinterpreted her final plea. But if he did, she didn't correct him.
>>All
For those protesting Celestia's innocence, I'd like to offer you a seed of doubt, if I can, because I wrote this story to be open for interpretation in a lot of different ways. With all of her centuries of experience, and all of the skill at reading ponies that we've ascribed to her, how could Celestia not have noticed Twilight's reluctance? If not through her body language alone, then through the ever-increasing number of excuses she made for arriving later and later. Take it or leave it.
1715820
Eeyup. With an extra serving of 'condemned to the fiery pits of Hell', if you don't mind. He really shouldn't have pulled that speech.
Also, with regards to your last statement, it is a valid point. However, it can quite easily be overcome. The obvious answer is that love is blind.
Not too much of a stretch, I don't think.
My preferred answer, however, is that she _did_ notice something was wrong. She simply trusted that, whatever it was, Twilight would share it with her when she was ready. Clearly, Twilight was enough of an actor to hide her true feelings whilst they were together - I feel even a lovestruck fool would notice if their sweetheart _acted_ depressed.
1715820
I subscribe to the Michael Bay school of dramatic storytelling: drama, suddenly explosions.
'Suddenly explosions' makes everything - dare I say it? - twenty percent cooler.
1715820
My main 2 suggestions would have been to make the murder an actual murder, and to have Twi's angst be due to the fallout after confronting Celestia with her honest feelings.
Because, really, bangin someone you don't "love, love" isn't all that uncommon.
These 2 issues made the story's moral focus schitsophrenic and made the plot emo as heck.
There are other issues and idiot ball passes, but those were the ones that disappointed me the most.
Also some of the atmosphere was ruined by Joe knowing the whole story AND telling it. One or the other shouldn't have been so the reader could put more puzzle pieces together than the characters.
I almost kind of feel the story was misrepresented as I was expecting a "true crime" style proceedural.
1715820
She was depressed. And highly unstable. You can't expect her to make the right call. That's what the support is there for, usually.
As for "Celestia's innocence"... I can't rightly imagine a situation where Celestia would be the one to make the first move. The entire thing is void to me, sorta.
Twilight's whole life, as expressed in Lesson Zero in particular, is centered around Celestia. She knows this. She wouldn't impose herself on Twilight knowing her little student would never reject her. Genuine feelings or not.
I'm going to have to agree with you, this was your best work ever. It was nothing less than beautiful.
This is how it's truly done... I commend you.
Bad ending is bad.
1719426
Absolutely correct. But the mistake is so common in informal speech that I felt it fit here.
and 1720038
I was taught the same, as a matter of etiquette. "Her and me" would have been more proper. But it just sounds so clumsy to me for some reason.
I thought this was a blog post and deleted my comment on this chapter, so here it is again: //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png
1720576 It is intentional?
1721967
I know, I'm a terrible person. I could fix it if it's really bothering you.
1722300 I love you //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
Relevant metal
\m/
Despite all the hate. i loved it, I loved the evil Joe, I loved the depressed Twilight and most of all... I LOVED THE REASON SHE DIED. It was depressing, mad, egotistical, rude, horrible and kept me reading and loving every piece of pain they felt. Trully one of the best fics I have read in my life. I salute you.
This...
This feels more real than it should.
1759615
I know just what you mean.
1738796 Bro, you have to read it again. Joe isn't evil. He killed Twi because-(SPOILER ALERT) has put all her trust in Joe and he just can't keep her alive and let her down.
1830396 Good and Evil are subjective. What is evil and wrong for you may be right and correct for me. Joe was evil, at least based on the reality of the fic. I read the whole fic I read it twice and loved it. Fact is, Joe took advantage of Twilight. He may not know it but he did. He fell down to her whims instead of, oh I don't know, telling the resposible autorties. Don't get me wrong, I can't disagree with what Joe did but it was still evil. Sometimes good people have to do things considered evil by the society he is integrated in order to do something considered good for himself. The question is, can you agree that evil and good are 100% relative or not? If yes then reread my coment with that in mind and see if you can understand what I was thinking. If not then sorry man but you won't understand my though process.
This is well written...
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSkjvPNiND06AX1SGojBjxesttFOy4GkPLJ6r_dIfgo2--6zzF49A
I really enjoyed reading this
Damn man. I...wow. That was good. There's subverting expectations, and then there's mining straight down, hollowing out the earth, lying dormant for ten thousand years until the memory of your existence has all but faded into memory, remembered only in half-recalled and distorted legends, then rising up from beneath the surface of the Earth to consume those expectations and...sorry got a little off topic. The point is, I was not expecting that. Good on ya, m8
5499290 Really glad you liked it. Thanks for the kind words!
Wits her judgement. I NEED TO KNOW.
I clicked on this expecting a punchline. Some light-hearted joke with a story built around it.
I'm not sure if that expectation lowered my guard, or what, but I think I need to lie down, now. Thanks for the trip.
1830546
Gotta admit, I find this entire comment frustrating. I have difficulties with expressing myself often, so I thoroughly understand the frustration when people misunderstand me on issues I feel I'm explaining very simply.
This comment here confused me on many levels, even making me question what your belief is here. It also frustrates me because you put off your explanation with 'but yeah, you wouldn't understand if you haven't gotten it by now.' Just a cheap way to end your perspective without the consequence of being questioned.
Without explaining how people are good and evil... Based on the context and personal philosophies, you gave a half-assed explanation that really just confused some who read this and don't wanna bother because of your cheap disclaimer.
People are innately good. People are raised to understand choices. This is nature. People are also be raised to drawn their own conclusions to situations and are able to judge how they feel about these things.
1. What is your view on this? Is Joe evil, or good? Was he misguided to believe that was the only way he could truly help her?
2. Why do you believe this? Do you feel his intent was malicious? He was blinded?
3. Give a proper explanation without the disclaimer.
1717040
Joe killed Twilight Sparkle.
This looks like a murder, regardless of how it was done. No witnesses, nobody can tell his story like he can.
'Emo' seems to be a word too loosely put. It's a tragedy that happens. It shouldn't need to be malicious killing for a good read. People have feelings, and this sort of story, especially with how well this was worded out, is nice to have around. This isn't some childish story showing the author's deep emo state because he's a whiney emo. This was a story because this sort of thing does happen.
Too many stories have some sort of catastrophic event happening, even something like an emotional 'fallout' due to a breakup or something.
To be pressed into faking one's love for somebody else is a good cause for real depression. It's honestly an issue that people need to know more about. People should be aware of this sort of thing. Even if it's not all that common.
Regardless of any of this, the story has to do with the depression of not being able to get out of an emotional situation. The depression she had is a real depression. She couldn't depend on her friends because of how they reacted to her in the past, and she did things that were not a healthy alternative to her situation. Just because this may be an uncommon situation, does not make it any less important. Even taking out the cause of her depression, a lot of these issues are absolutely common. Many people don't feel they can depend on their friends, or anybody at all because they just don't feel they're worth their friends' time.
I'm done reading these comments.
Love the story. Well written. I'm adding to favs.