Equestria faces its first murder trial in over five hundred years. But why? What could drive a pony to kill? Only the killer himself can tell us. And nopony is going to like his answer.
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The Equestrian Gentlecolt
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The end.
There you have it. The product of an inspiration that wouldn't get out of my head until I put it to paper. A story of moral gray areas that raises more questions than it answers. Joe's fate, I leave up to you. But if you're interested in reading just a little bit more, and really want to know what happens next...
I might be able to offer some possibilities.
My wat.
That was...very good. Depressing as hell, but very good.
Loved it.
Never thought of Twi as a SM type, though.
Great story, but I wouldn't want to meet your muse in a dark alley.
I think the ending is perfect the way it is. One last punch in the gut, and fade to black. Linking to epilogues is cheating.
...and then the world exploded, making Joe's final fate booth a mystery and a moot point.
Celestia was quite embarrassed.
Damn you, now I'm depressed.
meh
Moral ambiguity my ass.
More like a comedy of errors starring a cast of idiots.
Can't take any message or emotional affectation from this because it's so incredibly hard to believe that everyone in this story could be so profoundly moronic.
There are myriad ways this story could have been tweaked to reflect a more believable premise and reasonable sequence of events without all the facepalming.
This is really well written and the basic story and premise are strong, but the plot was... ugh. Overall I'm not rating this because our thumbs only represent "good" and "terrible", and this was really neither... just annoyingly dumb.
Nice. How would you go about the deaths of the rest of the Mane six I wonder?
Well, that was depressing...
This was very strange. I will refrain from voting, but... it's not poorly written, but the concept is so utterly bizarre... I cannot say whether or not I liked this. Good job writing it, I think. A little suspension of disbelief since I don't think Twilight would act like that, but... I just don't know.
This looks quite promising!
Kind of a heavy topic here... Still, great story, though!
1713640 Oh no...
1714505 It was kinda a "meh" to me.
_Hate_.
Don't get me wrong - the technical architecture of the story is grand. The content, however...
He has _no right_ to do this. When he made the decision to end her life, he knew that there would be consequences - by going through with it, he accepted them. The only thing he could possibly hope to achieve here is to inflict some measure of his and Twilight's suffering on Celestia. Considering that her only crime was _being in love_, and that it was _Twilight_ who couldn't bring herself to crush that, Celestia _does not deserve punishment_.
Does he have a wife and kids? Clearly not, otherwise he would have denied Twilight's advances. His parents, he could have informed privately.
But this? This is a cheap shot designed to hurt an innocent party, and I for one am _disgusted_.
1714511 >_< Why is it that we are always on the same story?! It may actually be destiny, that we're linked in some insane fate, and these are the first steps. Actually... Maybe I already know you...
Judgement is obvious. GUILTY AS CHARGED
This. this is good.
"It wasn't right. I knew it wasn't... It wasn't right, but I did it anyway."
You may have been going for ambiguity but there is none here. Your Joe is completely despicable in word and deed.
While there is life there is hope. Hope that errors will be corrected, mistakes rectified. Death ends every hope. Twilight couldn't refuse Celestia because the princess would be hurt? How much greater is the hurt she bears now? (To say nothing of all the other ponies who knew and loved her.) Twilight needed help and she got betrayal instead. With one vile deed, your Joe caused more suffering than all the other MLP villains combined.
Is this the adding episode, where she disappointed everyone?
Tch. Everytime I read about suicide, sort of, I am always left with a sour taste in my mouth. I will commend you on attempting a more dark, tragic fic. But this is... this is not what you want out of darkness and tragedy.
I must agree with what was said in former comments : Joe is absolutely immoral and repugnant in this. What, a disgruntled filly comes to you for sex for months and all you can think of to ease her pain is to kill her?! What?! Anybody who claims to have a tiny bit of humanity, or equinity in this case, will pursue life. Suicide is an escape, not a solution. Not to mention that Joe, by revealing the entire fucking thing to the entire fucking nation, pretty much spreads pain and agony to every single soul who had to hear this. Thanks for pretty much heart raping the one pony, Celestia, who didn't deserve this.
No. I disagree. This was not your best work. This was pretty much a slap in the face of everything I hold dear.
Guilty as charged. To the dungeons for being as damaging to Celestia as Nightmare Moon was. More, even, as I am inclined to believe.
1713822
I agree, the epilogues were cheating. The story ended with Part 3. That's why they got demoted down out of the story, past even an in-chapter author's note, into a single link in a comment that half the people reading probably won't even see. But I just loved them too much to give them up entirely.
1713868
You'd be surprised by just how many of the possible epilogues for this story ended with everyone dying for one reason or another.
1714027
I expected that from you. But tell me more, if you don't mind taking the time. How would you change it?
1714071
Well, I have another idea for a story, and this one results in the death of all of them except Twilight. But I think I've had more than enough of dark stories for the moment.
1714117
I'll be honest, the student ending is still my favorite too!
1714567
I'm glad I could evoke such a strong emotion.
You'll be on the "guilty" side, then. You've got lots of company.
1714583
Hmm, maybe. Or the title could just be referring to his plea. Can't go giving it away that easily.
1715188
I don't understand the question.
1714996>>1715371
I couldn't agree more with your views on suicide. Joe's greatest mistake throughout the story was in thinking that he could solve Twilight's problems by giving her what she wanted. And maybe he misinterpreted her final plea. But if he did, she didn't correct him.
>>All
For those protesting Celestia's innocence, I'd like to offer you a seed of doubt, if I can, because I wrote this story to be open for interpretation in a lot of different ways. With all of her centuries of experience, and all of the skill at reading ponies that we've ascribed to her, how could Celestia not have noticed Twilight's reluctance? If not through her body language alone, then through the ever-increasing number of excuses she made for arriving later and later. Take it or leave it.
1715820
Eeyup. With an extra serving of 'condemned to the fiery pits of Hell', if you don't mind. He really shouldn't have pulled that speech.
Also, with regards to your last statement, it is a valid point. However, it can quite easily be overcome. The obvious answer is that love is blind.
Not too much of a stretch, I don't think.
My preferred answer, however, is that she _did_ notice something was wrong. She simply trusted that, whatever it was, Twilight would share it with her when she was ready. Clearly, Twilight was enough of an actor to hide her true feelings whilst they were together - I feel even a lovestruck fool would notice if their sweetheart _acted_ depressed.
1715820
I subscribe to the Michael Bay school of dramatic storytelling: drama, suddenly explosions.
'Suddenly explosions' makes everything - dare I say it? - twenty percent cooler.
1715820
My main 2 suggestions would have been to make the murder an actual murder, and to have Twi's angst be due to the fallout after confronting Celestia with her honest feelings.
Because, really, bangin someone you don't "love, love" isn't all that uncommon.
These 2 issues made the story's moral focus schitsophrenic and made the plot emo as heck.
There are other issues and idiot ball passes, but those were the ones that disappointed me the most.
Also some of the atmosphere was ruined by Joe knowing the whole story AND telling it. One or the other shouldn't have been so the reader could put more puzzle pieces together than the characters.
I almost kind of feel the story was misrepresented as I was expecting a "true crime" style proceedural.
1715820
She was depressed. And highly unstable. You can't expect her to make the right call. That's what the support is there for, usually.
As for "Celestia's innocence"... I can't rightly imagine a situation where Celestia would be the one to make the first move. The entire thing is void to me, sorta.
Twilight's whole life, as expressed in Lesson Zero in particular, is centered around Celestia. She knows this. She wouldn't impose herself on Twilight knowing her little student would never reject her. Genuine feelings or not.
I'm going to have to agree with you, this was your best work ever. It was nothing less than beautiful.
This is how it's truly done... I commend you.
//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
>The shop was empty except for her and I
This should say "The shop was empty except for me and her"
I am entriged. I SHALL READ ON!
1719426
Hmm? I thought when you are talking about someone else you always put yourself last... Or maybe I misunderstood my teacher :/
Bad ending is bad.
1719426
Absolutely correct. But the mistake is so common in informal speech that I felt it fit here.
and 1720038
I was taught the same, as a matter of etiquette. "Her and me" would have been more proper. But it just sounds so clumsy to me for some reason.
I thought this was a blog post and deleted my comment on this chapter, so here it is again: //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png
1720576 It is intentional?
1721967
I know, I'm a terrible person. I could fix it if it's really bothering you.
1720038 no your correct i dont know whats he is thinking
1722300 I love you //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
Relevant metal
\m/
Despite all the hate. i loved it, I loved the evil Joe, I loved the depressed Twilight and most of all... I LOVED THE REASON SHE DIED. It was depressing, mad, egotistical, rude, horrible and kept me reading and loving every piece of pain they felt. Trully one of the best fics I have read in my life. I salute you.
This...
This feels more real than it should.
1759615
I know just what you mean.
1738796 Bro, you have to read it again. Joe isn't evil. He killed Twi because-(SPOILER ALERT) has put all her trust in Joe and he just can't keep her alive and let her down.
1830396 Good and Evil are subjective. What is evil and wrong for you may be right and correct for me. Joe was evil, at least based on the reality of the fic. I read the whole fic I read it twice and loved it. Fact is, Joe took advantage of Twilight. He may not know it but he did. He fell down to her whims instead of, oh I don't know, telling the resposible autorties. Don't get me wrong, I can't disagree with what Joe did but it was still evil. Sometimes good people have to do things considered evil by the society he is integrated in order to do something considered good for himself. The question is, can you agree that evil and good are 100% relative or not? If yes then reread my coment with that in mind and see if you can understand what I was thinking. If not then sorry man but you won't understand my though process.
This is well written...
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSkjvPNiND06AX1SGojBjxesttFOy4GkPLJ6r_dIfgo2--6zzF49A
I really enjoyed reading this
Damn man. I...wow. That was good. There's subverting expectations, and then there's mining straight down, hollowing out the earth, lying dormant for ten thousand years until the memory of your existence has all but faded into memory, remembered only in half-recalled and distorted legends, then rising up from beneath the surface of the Earth to consume those expectations and...sorry got a little off topic. The point is, I was not expecting that. Good on ya, m8
5499290 Really glad you liked it. Thanks for the kind words!
Wits her judgement. I NEED TO KNOW.