THE FOOL ON THE HILL.
Chapter published 2nd Dec 2012
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"This has got to be to be one of the best days ever" Rainbow Dash cried in delight as she allowed herself to flop down onto her back, her limbs landing stretched outwards from her body in the long warm grass of a gentle hill overlooking the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres. Her gaze lifted towards the evening sky, her eyes taking in the glorious colours of the rapidly approaching sunset. The majority of the sky was still a gentle blue a touch darker than her own fur but the western horizon was already beginning to push forth a multitude of colours, ripe with the promise that within the next hour she would be witness to an overhead display that would put her own prismatic mane to shame.
Lifting a fore-hoof and laying it across her brow she used the shade it created to better appreciate the stunning vista that Celestia’s solar body was laying out before her. A final hurrah for the day before the alicorn goddess of the sun put her heavenly companion away for the night so that her sister’s moon could have the run of the sky. I’d have never cared about the darn sunset six months ago, what’s gotten into me? she thought, idly watching a majestic glow made up of every shade of red known to ponykind gradually work it’s way across a sea of wispy altostratus clouds far out on the horizon.
From her perspective in the grass the patch of sky below the clouds was working it’s way though every cream, yellow and orange imaginable. Behind her she knew that the eastern horizon was releasing a stunning array of darker blues, ready to commence their gradual creep across the sky right above her; their mission to finally seal off the day ready for the night.
And what a day it had been. Both Lero and Rainbow had the day off so they’d woken up late and then enjoyed waking up late some more in that way that only lovers can. Then after a quick shower, followed by a longer shower in which they enjoyed waking up late in that special way all over again, and a finally a breakfast that rightfully should have been called a lunch they finally headed out into town.
After a stop at Sugarcube Corner to pick up a picnic basket that Pinkie already had prepared, and passed over with a suspiciously theatrical wink, they’d headed out to just outside town where Lero had sat under a tree and watched Rainbow put on a ‘one-pony acrobatic air-show’ as he’d taken to calling her more strenuous practice sessions.
After she’d finished her session, Lero had shown her what was in the basket. Pinkie had packed them baked goods aplenty, mainly sandwiches and cupcakes. But what caught Rainbow’s attention most, apart from the partly hidden marshmallows which she thought was an odd thing to include, was the small magically sealed flask. Lero had asked her to close her eyes and once sure that she wasn’t peeking had popped the seal on the flask and held it under her nose.
The first thing to register was the cold, which explained the magic. Twilight must have sealed the flask for him to keep it at a constant temperature until it was opened. The second thing to register was the smell, that glorious magnificent wonderful smell. Rainbow couldn’t help but open her eyes to take a look. She was right. The smell, the colour, oh boy… This was a flask of Big McIntosh’s Special Reserve Ice Cider. This stuff was rarer than earth ponies in Cloudsdale. Big Mac would only lay up a very small number of barrels each year if any at all, most of which went straight to the royal palace once ready, the few remaining being harder to get into than Fort Hocks. And here Lero was giving it to her.
Rainbow would like to say that she’d been suitably grateful and had demonstrated this in the manner of a well-bred young lady. But in reality she’d just stammered for a while until Lero had pointed out that now the cooling magic had dispelled it needed somepony to drink it up, and as he wasn’t overly fond of cider - it seemed to make him go a little green recently - maybe she should tuck in. Rainbow wanted to jump him there and then but he had a point. So she settled back into his arms and while he took time to gently stroke her mane and around her ears, she took great pleasure in enjoying her delicious gift right to the last drop.
Then she jumped him.
A couple of hours later, after they’d both had a nice ‘recovery’ nap under a tree, they’d packed up the basket and headed off to Sweet Apple Acres to return Big Mac’s flask. The human and the earth pony stallion had become good friends over the last few months. Occasionally they’d both disappear off into town for an evening, both claiming it was something called ‘guy time’ and refusing to be drawn on it any more than that. It couldn’t be anything too scandalous as they’d occasionally take Spike or Caramel with them. Twilight said she’d seen Time Turner heading off to meet them once or twice and Pinkie commented that even Mr Cake had gone with them at least once. Rarity suspected that they were just going bowling as their nights out often matched up with her father’s while Applejack (furtively) declared she wasn’t saying anything except that she was glad the boys were getting out of the house more often.
What was meant to be a quick uneventful stop off with the Apple family had turned into a pick-up hoofball game with Rainbow and Lero against Applejack and Big Mac. Lyra and Twilight had arrived late afternoon so Lyra joined Team Apple while Twilight joined Lero and Rainbow, commenting the whole time that, as an academic, she wasn’t actually the fittest pony in Equestria. However, once she’d realized that magic could be an important part of Hoofball she was quickly helping Team Lero rack up the points.
Caramel and Time Turner turned up not long after, supposedly to talk to Big Mac about the planting and harvesting schedules for the rest of the year, but Lero quickly declared it was ‘colts vs fillies’ and after a bit of bluster from both Caramel and Applejack the game was on.
After the ‘colts’ took a sound thrashing at the hoofs of the ‘fillies’ the game was called. Even without magic Lero’s throwing arm and Big Mac’s strength, along with some surprisingly cheeky tactics from Time Turner, had given them a decent chance early on. But going up against the toughest earth mare in town, both the fastest pegasus and the (possibly) most powerful unicorn in Equestria plus a martial arts master meant that they were completely outclassed. That and Caramel kept fumbling the ball whenever he got too close to AJ, which the rest of the guys seemed to find more amusing than frustrating.
After that the rest of the 'colts' had headed off to run though their schedule while Applejack had filled the picnic basket with some apples and other fruits before giving Lero his second theatrical wink of the day and sending them on their way.
Lero lead Rainbow. Lyra and Twilight around the edge of the farm, past Fluttershy’s house and out past the orchards until they’d reached an area that the Apple family used for campfires and family gatherings whenever they wanted to be away from the main house. Firewood had been carefully arranged in the firepit ready for lighting and one of Twilight’s saddlebags, a book on campfires visible though its open flap, was already present answering the question of who’d set this up for them.
A quick zap of what looked like lightening from the end of Twilight’s horn and a small flame erupted in the heart of the campfire which built up into a decent fire within minutes. Lero finished carefully threading some of the fruit onto long sticks that had also been stored in Twilight’s bag.
And so they sat for the next hour on logs positioned around the fire, chatting about nothing and everything while roasting fruit on sticks, or burning them in Twilight’s case, as well as the marshmallows that Pinkie had stuffed in the bottom of the basket. For some reason Lero kept looking nervously at the sugary gooey molten goodness of the roast marshmallows, then to his companion’s hoofs and then back again before turning a bit… green. Rainbow wasn’t sure why and he certainly wasn’t saying.
Once the food was all gone, hoofball built up one hey of an appetite, they’d all just sat back and enjoyed the fire and each other’s company. Twilight had been flicking though her book and Lero had sat behind her and started playing with her mane. Lyra seemed to find the fire fascinating and had wandered off to find some more wood with which to keep it going. Evening had started to creep up on them and Rainbow had this irresistible urge to stretch out on the warm grass and watch the clouds for the rest of the day.
Which led her nicely back to the here and now.
A sharp cry of surprise followed by gentle feminine laughter came from her right. Twisting her head she could see Lero pulling grass out from the neck of his shirt while Lyra pranced gaily away from him, giggling as she went. Rainbow watched her human lover using his fingers to scoop the last of the invading foliage from his clothing then use his hands to ruffle the back of his own hair to dislodge any errant blades, all the while glaring at their mint coloured friend with an expression of mock annoyance.
“Oh, It. Is. On!” he cried before launching himself off of the log he had been sitting upon and sprinting after the unicorn prankster. Lyra squealed like a little filly before cantering away from her pursuer, letting him get close enough to let him feel like he might have a chance of catching her but never actually close enough to touch her.
“He’s got no chance.” Twilight Sparkle commented from where she was sitting on the ground in front of Lero’s recently vacated seat. She’d had that book open in front of her for only Celestia knew how long now, but any pretence of actually reading it had been abandoned once Lero had started playing with her mane. As she turned her head so she could locate her saddlebags a long single braid held together by one of Lero’s hairbands flopped over her neck, the product of her stallion’s recent ministrations. Spotting the bag at the end of the log, Twilight levitated her book into it and stood up, shaking loose some stray grass that had had missed their target entirely and ended up scattered across the unicorn’s flank.
“Yeah, he’s got no way of catching a Still Way master” Rainbow agreed, hoof-shielded eyes still following the cavorting pair as Lyra darted back towards the decent sized semi-circle of logs they’d been previously sitting on. Once Lyra deemed that Lero had gotten quite close enough she skittered around the back of the small campfire within the focal point of the seating area. While out in the open Lyra’s superior speed had held a definite advantage but once they’d ended up back between the logs the taller biped’s extra manoeuvrability put him back on even footing so to speak.
“Oh come on, Lyra.“ Rainbow called out “Now you’re just teasing the poor guy.” Everyone present, including Lero, knew he had no chance of actually catching Lyra if she was being serious. But being serious was about the furthest thought from Lyra’s mind right now; she was in it for the chase. Well, maybe the catching too, but definitely the chase.
She’s been flirting with him something crazy lately. Rainbow thought as she watched them both dance from side to side around the campfire, the unicorn always keeping the fire directly between them until she’d managed to shuffle around to stand next to Twilight. Flicking the lavender pony’s braid with her magic prompted a startled “Hey” from her fellow unicorn, during which time Lero had already rounded the campfire and was almost upon the musician. Just as he was readying himself for his final pounce he found his path blocked by an even more startled librarian that had suddenly been levitated into his path.
“Hey, no fair using magic.” Lero laughed as he pulled himself up short so that he didn’t run into Twilight’s flank. Lyra just stuck out her tongue before trotting off a little up the hill closer to where Rainbow was laying, looking back over her shoulder and using her tongue again to make a noise that well bred young mares, especially those accomplished enough to have positions in the Royal Guard Reserves, were definitely not supposed to make.
“Oh no you didn’t!” Twilight shouted after her before both she and Lero bounded over the log they’d recently been sitting against and charged up the hill in hot pursuit. Rainbow watched two pairs of light green legs canter past her head and further up the slope, her own fore-hoof still held across her brow blocking her view of the rest of Lyra’s body. Then a single pair of legs, bare pink skin from the knee to the ankle, passed by at speed followed shortly by two pairs of light purple legs. All the while she could hear vague threats that something would be happening once a rightful apprehension took place, though what exactly this something was wasn’t being made clear. Rainbow couldn’t help but laugh. If only Lero knew that if he were to promise the right kind of punishment, preferably one that involved his fingers in contact with, well, any part of Lyra’s anatomy really, then his target would gladly cease her attempted escape and turn herself over to his custody in an instant.
The thought made her smile that, even after all these months here in Ponyville, Lero still occasionally had trouble reading, and responding to, pony body language. It was painfully obvious that Lyra was seriously into Lero, so obvious in fact it was now easier to name individuals who hadn’t noticed than those who had. Ha, short list. Probably only got two names on it. Rainbow and Twilight had both agreed to say nothing about it for now believing that, as the two of them had been spending so much time together recently on whatever this secret project they’d been working on was, the two of them would do something about it on their own soon enough.
Turning her gaze back towards the sunset Rainbow vowed that if nothing happened between her stallion and their perspective new herd member soon she’d give one, or both, of them a swift kick in the flank. Metaphorically of course though. Lyra could lay me out flat in like six different ways before I even made contact. And there was no way Rainbow was ever going to do something to harm her human lover. Well, aside from the occasional nibble maybe.
Metaphorically, huh? Yep, something’s totally gotten into me. Even my vocabulary’s improved. Rainbow thought, watching those magnificent reds continue to make their way across the underside of the clouds, vaguely considering if she should check the patrol list back at the office in the morning. That way she could find out whose patch of sky these clouds were in, probably Cloud Kicker’s, and then she could get them to leave them laid out like this tomorrow night and then she could watch the sun set behind them all over again, preferably with Lero by her side. Awesome plan, RD. Gotta see if Twilight wants to come too. As long as she doesn’t get all telescopey though. This view’s for looking at, not talking about and drawing diagrams and being all eggheady over.
Heh. A year ago I’d never have sat here thinking sunsets were pretty and stuff, let alone telling another living soul about it. The sound of Lyra taunting her pursuers drifted over the crest of the hill towards her. And I totally wouldn’t have sat here thinking about how to make some other mare as happy as I am. I’d be over there, chasing everyone about, treating the whole thing like a race and declaring myself to be the winner. She could hear the thunder of four hooves pound down the hill and past her head again followed by the noise of four more hooves and the unmistakable sound of a pair of running shoes.
While Twilight carried on down the hill after Lyra, Lero suddenly veered off towards Rainbow, twisting himself around so that in one fell motion he allowed his feet to slide forward out from under him and then come to a stop by Rainbow’s flank. While doing this he fell forward onto his hands, meaning he ended up with his face a scant hoof width from her face.
“Love you” He declared through a big grin, then leaning forward he planted a quick kiss on Rainbow’s lips before springing back onto his feet and pelting after the pair of unicorns who were currently running circles around the campfire, shouting playful insults at each other the whole time like a pair of overexcited foals.
Aaaand that’s what’s gotten into me. Rainbow grinned, fore-hoof leaving her brow to brush against her lips where Lero had planted his kiss just seconds before. A stallion that loves me, a herd that respects me; maybe that was all I ever really wanted? She moved her fore-hoof back to her brow and turned back to the sunset. Ha, could I have been anymore of a cliché. The badass attitude, the attention seeking, the dare-devil stunts, the awesome flying… Was it all just to cover up just how unwanted I really felt all my life? Rainbow wasn’t really one for soul searching but she couldn’t help but feel she was onto something here.
Life hadn’t been a whole bundle of laughs for her until relatively recently, especially after her mother had abandoned her as a foal. Her father, a surly and distant stallion who in no way could ever claim to be top-grade parenting material, had foisted her upbringing off on any mare that stuck around in his life long enough, though for the most part she’d just plain done it herself. But when she’d started developing the kind of muscle strength that could put your average earth pony to shame the rumours had started that maybe she wasn’t really her sire’s foal after all. Soon after that her standing within the local community had plummeted and she’d been pretty much left to fend for herself. Not that I cared, I was fine on my own. I didn’t need no-pony! She thought, wondering now just how true that had really been.
But flying, now that was something she could excel at, and by being the best it meant that others would praise her, even if only for a little while. The hours spent in the sky meant that she was often alone; no-one to whisper behind her back, no-one to mock her for not being blessed with the graceful curves that the other fillies her age were developing. Just her, the clouds, the sunny skies and the occasional jealous glance from her fellow flyers when she swooped past with a totally mind-blowing maneuver that they could only dream about pulling off. Hehe, yeah, I was pretty awesome. The looks on their faces a couple of years back when I bagged the Young Fliers Award. Priceless. The memory of one of the proudest moments of her life made her grin. I’m not “Rainbow Crash” anymore am I, boys? The momentary sting of recalling her old childhood nickname was quickly wiped away by the thought that those days were now long gone.
Flying was easy, landing not so much so. Flying was solo, just her and the sky. Landing meant coming back to other ponies; ponies who pointed at her and whispered nasty things behind her back. So often before she’d come in for what should have been a textbook landing and instead fear and doubt had struck her at the last second, causing her to lose concentration and screw up, usually in a painful or embarrassing way. Even long after she’d requested a transfer away from Cloudsdale and set up home over Ponyville she would still have the occasion slip up, often ending up with a face-to-ground interface problem that she’d prayed to Celestia that no other pony had witnessed.
Not recently though. Rainbow Crash doesn’t live here anymore. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d fluffed a landing, certainly not since Lero had finally taken her as his mare. Though I did fluff few while I was crushing on him like some silly filly. Especially that time he’d waved up at me from outside the spa in his new uniform. That one hurt for days.
Coming down to land meant so much more to her now, it meant being with those that loved her and accepted her, not those who mocked her and rejected her. She finally had what she had really wanted her whole life. She had true friends, she had a herd, and she had that very special somepony... someone, that made it all… all… just so right. And they all accepted her for who she really was on the inside, not who she tried to be on the outside. It was everything she’d been so afraid she might never have. Everything she’d been even more afraid that she didn’t really deserve, leaving her with the foalish fear that she’d die old and alone and, worst of all, forgotten.
And that’s when it came; the epiphany that hit her like flying into the side of a barn. The realization of what she’d been doing her whole life. She’d been so wrapped up in what other ponies thought of her, spent so much time and effort to make them think she was soooo cool and soooo awesome, that it had defined her. It had all just been just Her, Her, Her, Me, Me, Me. “I” ouch “Am” ouch “Such” ouch “A” ouch “Foal!” ouch. Beating her fore-hoof against her head to punctuate the statement.
This is why she wasn’t having any luck getting any interest from the Wonderbolts. The Wonderbolts were a team, they worked together, as in properly together. They were so perfectly synchronized that they moved like one pony in many bodies. Awesome though her own flying was, and it was radical awesome even if she did say so herself, but it was all solo flying. Whenever she went off practicing some sweet moves she always practiced alone. The concept of asking another pony to fly with her had never even entered her head. You’re just not a team player, Rainbow. That’s why you flunked out of flight school after all. Plus Dad’s birthherd wouldn’t pay for you anymore once they saw your cruddy scores in Applied flight mechanics and Synchronized flying. Heh, bringing Gilda home didn’t help much either, talk about falling in with the wrong crowd.
When she’d first come to Ponyville her concept of teamwork involved the rest of the weather team doing their thing while she took her morning nap. Then, once their work was done, she’d charge about the skies getting her work done in next to no time, spend an extra bit of time showing off about how excellent she was and then head off for her afternoon nap. Eventually she’d been promoted and teamwork was still pretty much the same deal, except now she told everyone what they were supposed to be doing before heading off for her morning nap, getting up to check they’d all done their work, doing her own and then heading off for another nap. Mass amounts of leisure punctuated with brief bouts of intense activity, that about summed up her life and that was the way she’d liked it. Except for the paperwork, by Luna’s moon how she hated the paperwork.
Then she’d become the bearer of the Element of Loyalty. Pfft, only Celestia knows why it picked me. Ironic that someone abandoned so young and then virtually ignored by her kin would end up representing loyalty. Either way, it had made her buck up and actually work in a group for once. To her surprise she actually found she’d enjoyed it. They each had their own strengths and weaknesses, but they worked so well together.
She’d be the first to admit that they drove each other up the wall at times, what friends didn’t? Fluttershy’s meekness could be infuriating at times though she’d never ever, well hardly ever, say it to the kindly pegasi’s face. Rarity’s prissiness and occasion histrionics could be a bit much and Pinkie could go a bit OTT with being… Pinkie; but she loved them like sisters. More than sisters even. Rainbow had half-sisters out there and honestly she felt so much closer to her friends than she ever had to her own family.
But it wasn’t until she’d finally fallen in love that she’d really understood that there could be such a thing as “us”, that there could be anything more important in this life than just herself. To give part of herself to others like she had with Lero, to accept a part of them into herself in return. Something Lero had quoted to Twilight a few weeks ago came to mind. He’d said “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Twilight seemed to have understood what he meant but Rainbow had to admit that she’d been left a bit puzzled by it. But now the epiphany hit her again, like flying into a second barn that had been hiding within the first one.
“You” ouch “bucking” ouch “foal” ouch, stop that! She got it. Love, all love, amongst lovers, herdmates, friends, it wasn’t a competition. They accepted you for what you were and you did the same for them. It wasn’t about looking good and being the best. It was about being like one pony with many bodies, and many ponies with one body. And... and…
And now my brain’s starting to hurt. I’m not smart enough for all this. It felt like something was pushing it’s way forward from the back of her head, winding it’s way around her brain and heading down towards her mouth. Here, Rainbow, try this on for size. Her lips seemed to move of their own accord as she heard her voice softly issue forth a proclamation from the depths of her very own soul to the skies above.
“The most important part of being awesome is to be awesome with others, and to let them be awesome with you.“
Did that just come out of me? Dude, that is so deep.
It was time to let it all go, everything that had been holding her back. Just wave it all goodbye and move on as a better mare. The thought made her feel so much… lighter, it was the only way to describe it. It was like her flight magic had kicked in without her even moving a wing. Like she was now so light that anything more than a stiff breeze could blow her off the hill and down away though the fields never to be seen again. It was like the part of her that had been dragging her around all her life had just made it’s way out of her body and was just floating away.
“So long Rainbow Crash.” She stretched her forehoof out towards the sky as if to wave her old-self a fond farewell. “No hard feelings, but I’m just not you anymore.” Feeling the gentle summer breeze build up and flow around her hoof as if it had made it’s way over just to blow her unwanted ghosts away, she just couldn’t resist a parting shot. “I’m still gunna be bucking awesome though, just you watch.”
A squeal of delight from further down the hill brought her attention back to her friends still gallivanting around her and a soft popping sound told her that Twilight had decided to spice things up by bringing her teleporting into the game. Being suddenly reminded of the lavender unicorn pushed a recent memory back to the forefront of her mind. A few weeks ago Twilight had been struck by what she’d later called, in her own typically Twilighty words, “a bit of an emotional episode” which had left her sobbing like a little filly in Lero’s arms. It had started off as a casual conversation between the two of them the day after they’d all got back from their last trip to Canterlot, and had ended up with Twilight opening the floodgates on what must have been years of pent up fears and doubts and insecurities.
About time too. Rainbow thought Keeping all that bottled up was obviously gunna buck with her head. Rainbow had been in the next room at the time and had overheard most of it, something she still felt slightly guilty about. It’d never occurred to the pegasus just how similar she and her unicorn herd-mate really were. They were both the best at what they did, even if Rainbow was a bit more vocal about it, and to the public both looked like confident and respected young mares. But behind it all they both had childhoods full of isolation and loneliness, churned up by the burning need to prove themselves to others, to show that they were just as good as their peers, even if neither of them had realised it at the time.
“So Crash, if you run into ‘Old Twilight’ up there, give her a hug, she could probably use the company.” She waved her hoof slowly from side to side before dropping it back to her side
Letting the moment pass she looked back towards her friends and was just in time to see Twilight teleport directly into Lyra’s path, making the mint green unicorn rear up on to her hindlegs so that they didn’t collide. Lero saw an opening and took the chance to grab Lyra with what he’d long ago declared to be a ‘rugby tackle’, which to be honest Rainbow thought looked to her too much like a cross between a predator’s attack and some extremely exuberant foreplay to be a legitimate sporting move. Yeah, Lyra totally let him do that. Oooh, have to remember that one for later.
Rainbow laughed to herself as Lero’s momentum took the three of them tumbling down the hill in a tangled ball of limbs for a good few paces before ending up in a sweaty heap. Like she totally wasn’t hoping for that to happen either. You go, marefriend.
The panting pile of bodies had been so wrapped up in their little game that they hadn’t previously noticed Applejack come trotting up the hill towards them. She was carrying some oversized saddlebags stuffed with what looked like her fiddle case and her banjo as well as a few other bulky objects that Rainbow couldn’t identify from where she lay.
The farm pony came to a stop, looking down at the tangle of sweaty bodies laying at her feet she gave all three a suspicious look. “If ah didn’t know better, ah’d swear ah’d be needing to throw a’ bucket a’ water over y’all about now.”
Twilight was the first to speak. “Well, err, you see.” A combination of breathlessness and the embarrassed flush rapidly developing under her fur had apparently decided to abscond with her powers of speech. She looked to the other two. “Help.”
Lyra just gave Applejack a large grin while Lero’s arm lifted from where he lay sprawled across her flank gasping for breath and with a quick “I won” his arm dropped back down.
“Well that’s jus' dandy then” Applejack commented and trotted off towards the campfire where she began unpacking her bags. Glancing back over her shoulder towards Rainbow she called up the hill. “Y’allright there, Sugercube?”
Rainbow sat up, wiping the back of her fore-hoof over her eyes to wipe away any traitorous moisture that might have gathered there. Looking around she saw that her friends were pulling themselves up out of the grass, brushing dirt and grass from each other as they went, all the while Celestia’s beautiful sunset was still making it’s merry way over to the horizon. Facing back towards her earth pony friend a small smile developed on her face, not a wide grin or a giant beam but a gentle smile of pure contentment and happiness. “Yeah, AJ. I’m fine, really. Thanks.”
And she was right. Everything was just fine.
So there it is, the first chapter in another Xenophilia side story.
First up I again give thanks to AnonAuthor and AnonponyDASHIE for this series and also to the writers of the other side stories. You know a series is something special when not just one but many people are prompted to take the ball and run with it. Each adds their own unique flavour and perspective into the mix, turning a meal into a banquet.
I’m going to try to keep as close to Xenophilia canon as I can but I’m aware that with this many authors independently working on the same series it’s inevitable that we’ll all start to deviate away from each other pretty soon.
I’ll mention now what this extra side-story isn’t:
Chronological – I tend not to write chapters in order, so I won’t be posting them in order either. I’m a big fan of works that bounce back and forth through timelines so I’m going to try and do that. Hopefully I won’t screw it up. Also, a number of odd throwaway comments and background events in one chapter will suddenly be important X amount of chapters later. That’s planned… sorta.
Clop – I don’t do clop. Nothing against it, I just can’t write it. I’m not even big on the “sappy” stuff.
Proofread – I tend to wing it. Which means that, yes, it will have a few spelling mistakes and the occasional plot hole (narf!) but hopefully there won’t be too many. Anything that goes right is about 25% me, anything that goes wrong is 100% me. The extra pressure makes me work better… kinda.
Thanks for reading. TQM
It was alright, keep up the good work.
Yes. Just yes. That's all I can say. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
EDIT: Okay there is more. It was fun. Genuine, simple, touching fun.
Man, Xenophilia is really inspiring a lot of good fics.
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It's not the best story I've read but it was quite pleasant and honestly I like how you've made Dash and Lyra.
I await your future stories.
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...for more
1724410 you must have loved cloud atlas then
Very nice.
I liked it. I'm not sure it added much to the overall Xenophilia lore, but it was still very touching and emotionally engaging. I'll give you a follow and a thumb's up, and I hope to see more from this fic soon.
You da man now, dog!
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Now we have 2 Xenoverse fanfics in the featured box
at the same time!
You know, Xenophilia always gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling when i was reading it, it just radiated so much love, when i was reading those chapters i just knew that those 2 (3 later on) loved each other so much, even though they are fictional characters, the emotion, love and care that were just flooded into that story, i could feel a part of that love while reading. This story is no exception and gives me the same feeling, my respects to you anonmous writer(s?) If you can make characters so alive then you are one of the best writer(s?) i have known.
Excellent. truly brilliant.
Hm. Another side story huh? I'll definitly give this a try the lero verse is absolutly fantastic thanks to anonauthor I'll comment once I'm done with this xP
Huh that wasn't half bad o.o rather enjoyable actually I've noticed at the beginning it said 12 dec 2012 if I remeber right the equestrian calender around the events for the leroverse is much diffrent the year anyway was this intentional?
You have 1 thumb and I'll be tracking this
It was good! Seemed a bit wobbly right at the beginning (I'm sorry, I wish I could be more specific) but it felt like you found your stride a few paragraphs in and then it took off. Really enjoyed seeing a glimpse of Rainbow being introspective for once. Have a stache.
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also like the story
The clop and sappy parts were a huge part of Xenophillia. You can have a read later but I'm not going to get my hopes up.
Really, Xenophillia wouldn't be the same story without the sex and emotions and you're gutting those? Yeah my expectations are dropping by the second.
1728319>>1724410
Yeah, if you're trying to keep the dates the same, archonix is the man to talk to. he's sort of the unofficial datekeeper of Xenophilia (by virtue of being the first to use one in a story). Xenophilia's original events finish up around 1215-16 AC, with the calendar starting after the Celestial Unification of the tribes.
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRZykppOP1KgfeB1LicP5JaGRU_nkwxEv9S95S-071AoPJWwHZ9-g
Motherfucker this was one of my favorite stories (And I'm not a huge fan of clop)
I'll read it tomorrow. Hopefully it's as good as the main story.
*favorites and likes immediately* If you keep the same quality as the original author, then you deserve it. I hope you do.
Soooooo... Unoffical sequel?
For all the strengths in the characters the main character flaw I feel from Lero is only ever his ignorance and alien nature.
I definitely enjoyed it immensely. Though I'd like to note that your transitions between 'flashback-ish-ness' and present day were a bit jerky/ham-handed(hoofed). It's a bit wordy for my tastes, but still very good, I rather like the interaction between Lero, Lyra, and Twilight, it seems natural and spontaneous and fun
1729113 ya thàts what I thought and its starts with the unifacation of the tribes? Oh no wonder its so weird to me then, because I go by the celestial calender where it starts when nightmare moon was first banished making twilight defeat NMM on the year 1000.
But using the date when the 3 tribes became one also works and possibly is better heh xP
1729080 It has the emotions! This was a fun read, and really cute.
Re: date
Sorry, my bad. The "2nd Dec 2012" at the top was a chapter publication date, not an in-story calender note. I didn't make that clear so I've gone back and added a note. Many thanks to those who spotted it.
I'm so used reading from the likes of fanfiction.net where it doesn't display a publication date for each individual chapter (something I find intensely annoying) that I stuck one at the top of the page so I could track back later.
A big thanks to all who have read and commented. I haven't worked on any fanfic in a long looooong time so to say I'm a bit rusty would be an understatement.
Can somebrony tell me what is so special about Xenophilia?
1731089 well it can't be completly be summed up in meer words so I suggest you read the actual story xenophilia xP I'm on my 9th reread xD its that damn good!
1731089
It can totally be summed up with words. It's just hard.
Xenophillia perfectly balances excellent world building that develops equines as a unique race separate from humans and a romance between two well-constructed characters that care deeply about each other for reasons that make sense. The writing throughout is excellent, and the clop doesn't devolve into taste descriptions and a million synonyms for vagina parts. The clop sections are focused on Rainbow's emotions and the pair's relationship rather than gross physicality.
Basically, it's an interesting story about a well-crafted romance between relatable characters. And you can wank to it, and those bits are as well-written and character-focused as the rest.
Great job on this, I'm liking this a lot.
When Rainbow had her epiphany (and hitting herself for being so slow to realize it). This song immediatley pops up into my head.
(Took me a while to find it but I'm so glad I was able to hear it again after a long while)
1731089
I'd say the same thing that theBSDude, but I'd say it is more about the cultrual differences between Lero's world and Rainbow's world. The story is told in Rainbow's point of view of how she likes Lero and one of the major points of the stories is really the conversations between Rainbow and Lero along with the other ponies about how their world works. Rather than telling you about the World of Xenophilia, you mostly learn abou the world roughly at the same time Lero does and you learn the differences between this world and Lero's when Rainbow -and later Twilight- points out the contradictions and similarites in her world. Basically it's a pretty awesome world building fic that has Rainbow Dash being the main protagonist and how she handles her relationship with Lero after they took their friendship to the next level.
Sonic BOOOOOM!!!
Character development!
1731576>>1732422 hm.. well it seems you two did a nice job sumarising on why xenophillia is so good o.o >w> I shall go to my corner and grow mushrooms for my incompetence
This story doesn't feel at all like Xenophilia. It's emotionally dead, I can't connect to the characters at all. And why does Lyra seem like such a doofus? In Xenophilia she was a cool, calm, and collected badass, here she seems like a ditzy school girl. Sorry but the only link that this has with Xenophilia is the character names. Also the pacing is way to frantic, it just jumps from one scene to another with very little in the way of transitions. And like another guy said, a major point to Xenophilia was the way that sex built and strengthened the emotional connections between the characters, without that, it isn't Xenophilia.
It's ok, but doesn't really captivate me like the original. I feel like no new ground was covered with this.
Something that I just realized was bugging me about this: Dash's introspection seems to imply that she doesn't want to be a part of the Wonderbolts, and/or that all of her previous goals are trash now rather than just taking second place to her herd.
Also: While this is certainly potentially in-character for all of the characters, the fact that you jumped straight into these edge-cases for all of their characterizations doesn't help you. You might be better served by showing a more 'baseline' setting for their characterizations to show that yes, you can write them in their Xenophillia characterizations (which I don't doubt you can, even if your writing style is rather different).
1733645 The whole point of Lyra in Xeno was that she was the last pony you'd think would be cool, collected and bad-ass. Total sweetheart, remember? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png
So...
Re: Lyra and her maybe being OOC; this will be covered later. Much as I love working with Rainbow, Lyra's the one I find most interesting. Archonix has done a great job of showing that she's got a surprising number of facets to her and is so much more than just a "one trick pony" personality wise. I'm hoping to play with that concept a bit myself.
Re: Dash's life goals. This will also be covered later. As she becomes more well-rounded as an individual, so will her aspirations. That's not to say she's giving up on the Wonderbolts, just that she's maybe starting to question why it is she wanted to join them in the first place.
Re: The writing style. Yes, my style can be a bit jarring (and rusty, unpolished and sometimes downright clunky) compared to what's come before, especially as I'm deliberately trying to have a slightly different tone to the rest of the series. I'm sure that once I'm a few chapters in I'll look back at bits of this chapter and go "aaarrrrggghhhh, why did I do that?", but that's how growth works I guess.
I started this fic so I could start pushing ideas out of my head and onto (virtual) paper again and I'm so shocked by how many people are liking and commenting. Thank you all for reading and leaving your thoughts, even those (especially those) who took the time to point out where it's not working out for them.
QM
This is the kind of writing I aspire to. Very well written, nicely done. I can only hope to write as well as this.
honestly idc how miscellaneous the plot of the story may be
something about this always has such a firm grasp on my interest ;o
it's just soooo interesting!
i always book mark, now here's the sad part...waiting...:c
Good stuff, but a bit wordy for Dash's thought process, even with the influence of a pair of eggheads. It was still a sweet story and a good revelation, but it just felt inelegant. I'm still looking forward to more, though.
A T-rated fan sequel to a M-rated story? Interesting, I shall be giving it a read later for when I have the time (have an exam week that I got to worry about). Best wishes for making this story a success and hope things goes well in your favor
great story i'll follow it
and btw you forgot to tag Lyra
fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=1971&join
y is this so popular lol horse humping weirdo
I don't always comment on stories, but when I do, it's to tell the author how good he/she is.
1727239
Can't wait to see their offspring!
Hum.. Dunno if read... Or wait for AnonAuthor to (if ever) continue Xenophilia.
Will leave a like and add this to the read later, though.