It was a very impressive hit. The bamboo rod whistled as it swung through the air; and as it connected with the creature’s nose, it gave a loud, hollow “thwack”. Such was the force that the ape-thing ended up spinning away from the zebra and landing face down in the dirt with its hands covering its face.
“Hah!” Zecora shouted, adrenalin rushing through her. Her satisfaction quickly drained away, though, as the creature just lay there. It didn’t yelp and try to run away, as other animals are wont to do when they’re beaten, nor did it attack. It just continued to cover its face, giving off gentle cries. Zecora worried, as she leaned in towards it. “It’s... sobbing? Oh dear, just what have I done?”
“Hello?” she offered, pushing her hood back and taking a step closer. “Are… are you alright? I’m sorry; you gave me a fright.”
At her voice it stopped crying and went stock-still; Zecora feared it was about to jump up and either run away or attack after all. After a few tense seconds, it mumbled something too quiet for her to hear.
“Excuse me?” she said, leaning in.
It mumbled slightly louder, “I said—”
Zecora noted the deep voice. “Of course. Now I see. ‘It’ is most certainly a ‘he’.”
“—‘You can talk? Were you talking to me?’ ”
Zecora couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. Of course she could talk. And besides, what would he have done if she’d said “no”?
“Of course I can; what sort of question is that? And yes, I am,” she eventually spat.
The creature fell silent again. After a few moments, he sighed and said, “Okay, sure, why not? It’s not the craziest thing I’ve seen so far.” With a pained grunt he rolled himself onto his back and pulled himself into a sitting position. The bottom half of his face was generously smeared with drying blood; thin trickles of crimson still dripped from both of his nostrils.
With the creature in a sitting position, Zecora easily saw just how far his ribs protruded. Any bravado the zebra had felt from her powerful bamboo strike was long gone. More than anything, she felt pity with a generous heaping of guilt.
“Ow! I think you broke my nose,” he remarked in a detached tone of voice, touching his face and wincing.
She put sheepishly put her stick down and stepped closer. “Here, let me see. Perhaps I can help.”
The creature snorted and turned away. “Suuure, let the crazy magical talking zebra that broke my nose closer! No way!”
Zecora answered with a roll of her eyes, “Quit fussing and hold still. You whine like a whelp.”
He snorted with false amusement again but didn’t turn away. With great care Zecora put a hoof on each side of his head, turning it this way and that to examine his nose from different angles. To her trained eye, it didn’t look as damaged as she’d feared. Giving a relieved sigh to herself, she said, “No need to fret; your nose is fine. It will soon feel much better, acquaintance of mine.”
She tapped it gently.
“Ow! Hey!”
“Tsk-tsk. You complain more than a foal. The blow I dealt took little toll.”
“Oh shut up! It still hurts!” the creature snapped, his patience beginning to wear thin. He gave an exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Is there any particular reason you jumped out of the bushes and hit me?” he asked through clenched teeth. “If you’ve come to rob me, I’m afraid you’re out of luck.”
“I’m not out to wildly roam but merely travelling to my new home,” she explained, raising a hoof in a placating gesture. “I heard a strange noise and came to see. Then I met you, and you met me.”
“Hang on, why are you doing that?” the creature interrupted, lowering his hand to look at her.
She tilted her head in puzzlement. “Doing what?”
“You keep speaking in rhyme. Why do you do that?”
“I don’t speak in rhyme. Name one I’ve said. Maybe I ought to reexamine your head...”
“But you just—“ The creature raised his palms in front of himself in surrender. “You know what, never mind. Continue.”
Zecora cocked an eyebrow again. ”This monkey-thing is quite strange indeed.” She forgave the interruption and cleared her throat. “Anyways, for hitting you, I am sorry. Could we begin anew? Hello, my name is Zecora, and who are you?”
“I can’t remember.”
“What?” The suddenness and unexpectedness of his reply made her blink.
The emaciated stranger now looked anxious rather than annoyed, as if his answer had worried him as much as it had confused her. “I can’t, um, remember my name,” he said, staring at the ground with his hands on his knees, “or how I got here, actually. Every time I try and think to before, everything gets all… hazy… and my head starts to hurt.”
The pity Zecora felt for the creature increased, along with her sympathy. “Oh, my. Such a shame, to not remember your own name,” she said to him, placing a comforting hoof on his shoulder. “May I ask—since there’s little around but grass and peat—whatever have you been finding to eat?”
“Oh, you know,” the creature mumbled in what he probably hoped was nonchalance but sounded more pained than anything, “moss, mostly. Hasn’t killed me yet so it’s probably good for me, right?” He then gestured an arm vaguely in the direction of some boulders which had ragged, puke-green moss clinging to their sides.
This sight was the last straw for Zecora. She knew that if the creature kept eating nothing but lichen, he’d soon starve. The rocks themselves probably contained more calories. They certainly contained more minerals. So, she had an idea.
“That is it. I’ve heard enough,” she declared. “It’s clear living out here is far too rough. I beg of you please, come stay with me.”
The creature looked up at her, with many emotions battling on his features. There was confusion at her offer, hesitation and worry (she had hit him with a stick, after all; and he still had his own blood on his face) but there was also a hint of hope. “As what?” he asked carefully. “As a pet?”
“As an assistant,” Zecora reassured him, with another pat on his shoulder. “Goodness knows the help I’ll need. And you, of course, will have to feed. We both know there’s nothing here, so please—if you would—come with me, my dear.”
The creature still seemed unsure. “I don’t know,” he muttered, looking down again. “Thanks, but I don’t know if I’ll be suitable enough to repay you.”
His words cemented the zebra’s decision further. She could already see him being an ideal helper (he was quite tall, had opposable thumbs, and looked as if he could be quite strong if he put on some weight), she was certain of it. Even when obviously starving, he had refused her aid, thinking himself unworthy. That sort of modest ethic Zecora heavily respected, so she decided to pull out the big guns.
She reached into her cloak and pulled out a large, ripe-looking peach. The creature’s eyes immediately flicked up and locked onto it. “A pity, if our choices could not be wed,” she said offhandedly, struggling to not smile as the creature’s eyes stayed glued to the fruit as the hoof holding it moved. “I’d get my help, and you’d get fed.” She then bit into it, deliberately letting the juices flow down her face and drip onto the ground.
He whimpered softly at the sight, and it was nearly impossible for Zecora not to chuckle.
“But you’ve made your choice,” she said with a heavy, theatrical sigh. “You’ve said ‘no deal’.” She finished the peach off in another few bites and then turned around. “I’ll take my leave.” She grabbed her stick and started to walk back to her cart, only looking back to gesture towards the mossy rocks. “Enjoy your meal.”
Zecora hadn’t taken a half-dozen steps before he called out, “Okay, okay, wait for me!”
“By the spirits, he can eat!”
Once they had both reached her cart, Zecora started passing various foods to the creature. He devoured his way through two whole bunches of bananas, a bag of maize bread, and four gourds filled with water. She felt the need to snap something along the lines of “Not so quick, or you’ll be sick!” but decided to hold her tongue for the time being. Finally, he seemed sated and leaned back against the wood with a happy sigh. Zecora chuckled at the sight.
“Feeling better?” she asked as she hitched herself.
The creature looked and her and gave her a large, genuine smile. “Very much so, Miss Zecora. Thank you.”
He began to move forward to walk beside her but stopped as the zebra pointed a hoof. “In the cart.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” he protested. “You’ve been kind enough.”
“Despite first impressions,” the zebra countered with a smile, “I do in fact have a heart. So please, rest awhile; sit in the cart.”
The creature opened his mouth to say something but decided to relent and clambered in. Once they had started moving, it only took a few minutes for the gentle rocking to lull him to sleep. Zecora couldn’t help but chuckle again, especially as he started to loudly snore.
Yay update! One thing that's bothering me though--is he clothed or naked?
1762463
D'oh! That had completely slipped my mind!
I think that I'll go with the naked option. Since ponies and zebras don't usually wear clothes, I imagine that him being in the nude wouldn't bring up that many comments.
Although of course, it would be funny if it ended up with Zecora making him wear a grass skirt or something. Since their respective height differences means that her head is unfortunately level with his... thing. Shudder.
1762463 probably wearing shredded clothes...like rags.
...I thought the chapter was good, what are you talking about?
I always wonder about Zecora´s magic. Is she an alchemist? a shaman? a regular mystic? And most important, can a human learns a few magical tricks from her?
Looking forward to where this is going.
Keep up the good work Zecora doesn't get enough fics.
1762727 Zecora uses rootwork magic aka hoodoo. Considering it mostly involves mixing plants and herbs to create the desired magic, any human should be able to learn it. Well aside from being able to conjure things, you'd need some form of inherit magic like Zecora, or perhaps a talisman to do that.
Anyway excellent chapter, I'm officially hooked now.
A truley interesting fic, two beings meeting one another that will most likley have a hard time fitting in, you really thought out a good solid base for this fic.
i cant wat for the episode when she goes in to town
but with the human
all hell will break loose
daw's. that was heart warming :)
1762939 You mean Voodoo?
1763239 No I don't mean Voodoo. Voodoo entails the use of spirits to do your bidding, and create the magic for you. That's why it's commonly thought of as dark magic. Hoodoo is the use of herbs and plants and other tangible things to create magic. Take Dr. Facilier from the princess and the frog for example. He used voodoo, the spirits or (friends on the other side) as he called them, granted him his power.
1763299 Interesting, this is the first time I hear of hoodoo...
1763308 I'm not surprised. Voodoo is the more commercially accepted name for it, even though they are different magic practices. Most people just chalk them up to being one in the same.
1762514
Now I have the picture of the human accidentaly slapping Zecora in the face with his firehose... it's strange how my mind works.
1763404
And this, kind sir, is epic.
1764375
I would also find it amusing that the human would be super hung on our standards, but the equines around him wouldn't think too much of it, only finding it uncomfortable to have it hanging around at the level of their face.
As a response to your authors note, I'll say the chapter was good and I wouldn't worry about taking your time, it's very hard, writing in rhyme.
Plus, you can't rush creativity.
The chapter was short but sweet.
It set things up and moved things on, it did everything it needed to do, regardless of length.
Short chapters, or long chapters I hope to see more soon.
1764387
one can dream of having a huge dick. dont deny my right.
I look forward to the next chapter, nice take on the HiE theme :>
These comments are full of dicks. Dicks everywhere.
Anyway, very nice original concept AND execution!
1762518
if anything, that should be our answer. please just make him where he's at least wearing rags so we dont have to deal with
the weirdness of him being butt naked.
Whoa whoa whoa.
WHOA.
This is your first fanfic?
YOU LIE!
Its too awesome and well written!
202 likes and 1 dislike is too good to be true.
I'm watching you.
Forever.
You are great at Zecora's rhymes! And so far, this seems to be much better than the average "human-gets-stuck-in-Equestria" fanfic. Nice work!
P... Peaches...
I'm enjoying the rhymes, they're made quite well so good job. I know that can't be easy
It's weird, I'm having the strangest sense of déjà vu reading this, but I've never seen anything like that. Oh well, I have déjà vu all the time.
/\
with
You'll have to try harder to catch up with me, I've been rhyming a great deal longer than thee. I started when Zecora left her forest home, to sate wanderlust and her wish to roam. She stopped at Sweet Apple Acres, spoke with Applejack and stole the heart of her brother, Big Mac. Upon her return, she stayed for the night and the two fell in love beneath the starlight. She returned to her hut in the forest dank and dim, unaware that she had fallen in love with him.
Macintosh quested for her the next morning, refusing to heed her sister's dire warning. He'd meet her at her hut, his respects he would pay, bur everything went wrong on that fateful day...
So is he naked or what?
Not very good?
I guess your right. It's not good.
It's GREAT!
2388155
I can rhyme better than you,
I'll beat you so bad, you'll want to sue.
Hell, I'll do it while eating an orange...
...
...
...
Oh.
...
Fuck...
2512139 LOOK OUT FOR THAT DOOR HINGE!!!
My biggest complaint would be... Zecora moved into the area BEFORE the Summer Sun Celebration... Time line is off.
Secondly.. you're right, you do have trouble with the rhyming.
HNNNNG
1762514 Just noticed a typo on my latest read through.
I think you meant 'ideal'
Give yourself some credit, I love this story
"I’ve also just realised that Zecora’s rhymes only really work if you read the sentences at a certain pace, or say some of the words in a certain way. I apologise. It seems to be a disadvantage of the written word."
I actually think you've done a rather decent job as far as Zecora is concerned. You've already established in your story that her rhyming is unintentional in the first place, likely due to it being her second language. In that light it would be unusual for absolutely everything to rhyme, which if done poorly is annoying anyways. As far as pace is concerned, she talks with a certain pace in the show, which I carry into my head when I read her lines. I find your writing meshes well with the pace I read her lines in. It might not be 'perfect' but in my opinion it fits rather well. Bravo.
D'aww… The bald monkey is so cute!~
2512139 Sporange? That's a word. It's like a plant.
Hell, i'll do it while eating an orange, also while looking at this sporange?
*himself
Missing a comma at the end of the dialog, both here and in the next paragraph. And some more places throughout the chapter.
*cough* I don't remember seeing that tag on this fic.
2512139 Lozenge, dude. Lozenge and Orange.
3706891 I don't think it is pronounced that way, but whatever. Shakespeare would've gotten away with it.
2512139 If trying to rhyme, you're out of luck
As you try to finnish with the word "fuck"
I've written poems for many years
making people laugh, think and shed tears.
Why I'm writing to you, I do not know.
But I have to take a bow.
So after a hard days end
I say good-bye to you, my friend.
2512139 Try implementing the words "door hinge" if you forced yourself to rhyme with the word orange.
3786759
your words ring very true
but can you rhyme with oranges
this i challenge you
yay melike ^w^
4740511 I may not be who you callenged to rhyme,
but I do consider it, for me to join a good time,
If you won't let me take your challenge to rhyme with orange,
then i am afraid i must be you with a door henge.
Shouldn't that be "Quit fussing and let me help. You whine like a whelp."?
Zecora here speaks very well.
What so few say, though some can tell:
'tis iambic tetrameter
You'll hear when listening to her.