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While moving to her new home, Zecora find the strangest creature - a large, nigh-hairless talking monkey-thing. Seeing how it lacks basic knowledge on surviving in the wild (and that it's quite tall and probably good at manual labour) she decides to adopt it as her assistant. Hopefully, she won't come to regret her decision.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Okay, so, this is my first MLP fanfiction. A bit of an overdone genre I know (and no doubt my writing leaves much to be desired) but I thought I'd give it a go. Zecora hasn't really been a large part in many HiE fictions, which I thought was disappointing, as she's an interesting character, and the Everfree Forest is an equally interesting change of setting.
Also, writing in rhymes is hard. Hopefully I'll get better at it. And hopefully my chapters will get longer as this story unfolds.
Zecora and a human? This Is a new one. Will follow this, especially since she knocked it out, hahaha
Commence read:
Zecora hit it in the face with her stick.
I cracked up there,
cant wait for more chapters, keep up the good work.
This is off to a good start. Poor guy. And poor mouse.
That's a good start! Violence >:3
ha....HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH
With this start you have gained a favourite from me (don't get too excited about it. For me it's better way to watch for updates :P)
You are right. Not enough HiE stories with her.
I wonder if this will become a romance?
Sounds like the greatest idea in history. I shall read!
I'll follow, but if you drop Zecora's rhyming for a second and Im outta here!
After reading the last paragraph, I think that would be my response, too.
Its good. I like it and can't wait for more and while the genre may be overdone the concept for this seems fresh at least.
Zecora meets a human? That's something you don't rad every day!
*looks at like bar*... Inb4 featured?
Wait, she gets a human as a helper
This sounds bucking hillarious
So late. sets it to "read later", and turst me; i WIL
1745520
? But he made it alive though. I guess you're just feeling sorry of what the mouse just experienced, I think I'm feel sorry for the mouse too.
Poor mouse
This looks like a very interesting idea and (Thank god) it's well written as well. I can easily see this getting featured. Thanks for the good read, this is going onto both my favourite list and my 'I-can't-wait-for-this-to-update' list. Best of luck
>inb4 featured
>inb4 regidar yet again
I love seeing a story with Zecora, and a human along with her at that, but I would forgive toi if she didn't rhyme each sentence. I know how tiring coming up with rhymes can be and it might ne fun if the rhyming was just Zecora messing with the ponies. Also, the human trying the same and ending up a nervous wreck...
Wait a second. He tried to eat a mouse whole and alive? Just how desperate has someone to be to try something like that?
I gotta read this.
Wonderful. Stick. Face. W00t.
I feel that most of the first two paragraphs are not needed. The readers already know what happened with Nightmare Moon. You've just established that the characters don't know, so how is it relevant to the story? I think that a simple reference, just a few sentences, would have been better.
Good grammar and spelling. It's a promising start and especially good for a first story. I'd like to read more, please.
fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/097/f/e/loud_noises_by_peachpalette-d4vbtkw.png
Okay, this is good. I like this. The human not immediately throwing away the idea of eating meat once in Equestria, even if they didn't know about it at the time. And him not having great experience with being on his own in the wild. These two things are just so...so rare nowadays.
Like, favorite, and follow. And to quote a meme used way too much on this site..."Dis gun b gud."
What I automatically thought when I saw the title.
Should be Spun, not span.
Seriously loving this. And I don't even like the human fics!
Interesting start so far, will keep an eye on this.
I kinda hope the Humie wont be knocked out by Z.
Id rather see what happens when it (he, she?) doesn't get knocked out and how they both react/deal with that first contact, or rather, after that funny flop of a first contact.
Hah, hit it with a stick.....definetly gonna read more of this.
Definitely a good start. The narrative inside the quotations are pretty funny, and adds a bit of style to your writing. I wonder where you plan on taking this, there's many avenues to choose from. And I'm pretty sure any sane person would kill the rat and eat what's inside if you couldn't cook it. You'd choke on raw fur and bones, not to mention the rat would scratch and bite the interior of your mouth, basically not a good idea to eat it alive. Well anyway it's too early to really say if this is good or not, I may just love the premise, but I look forward to later chapters.
1747617
It's to tell the reader exactly when the story happens.
This story seems promising. Have an upvote!
1746415
You are never in before Regidar. He was in the heart of the commenters all along.
Good start.
I'll be following this.
Travel the world, see new places, new peoples, and hit them with sticks.
This is a real creative take on the HiE fic. The skill is strong with this one!
This is...
an original idea. Bravo!
Oh I think there's lot's of HiE stories, I just think there's very few of them that are truly stupendous. Too many are either too naughty, too gory, or too dark/sad/tragic/death. This one seems decent. Imma keep an eye or two on it, see how it goes. Not a bad start, too bad it's such a short chapter though.
1745161
Good for a first fic. I know is hypocritical to say considering the shortness of my own chapters but you should really do longer ones. cause now im all curious and stuff.
1745424 It never said she knowcked it out, jt that she smackedit across the face. For ll wwe know, She could tie it up while it's dazed.
1745161 Well, the idea seems promising - it is actually a pretty fresh idea in a genre, where a lot of stories tend to be very similar.
Yay update! One thing that's bothering me though--is he clothed or naked?
1762463
Shudder.
D'oh! That had completely slipped my mind!
I think that I'll go with the naked option. Since ponies and zebras don't usually wear clothes, I imagine that him being in the nude wouldn't bring up that many comments.
Although of course, it would be funny if it ended up with Zecora making him wear a grass skirt or something. Since their respective height differences means that her head is unfortunately level with his... thing.
1762463 probably wearing shredded clothes...like rags.
...I thought the chapter was good, what are you talking about?
I always wonder about Zecora´s magic. Is she an alchemist? a shaman? a regular mystic? And most important, can a human learns a few magical tricks from her?
Looking forward to where this is going.
Keep up the good work Zecora doesn't get enough fics.
1762727 Zecora uses rootwork magic aka hoodoo. Considering it mostly involves mixing plants and herbs to create the desired magic, any human should be able to learn it. Well aside from being able to conjure things, you'd need some form of inherit magic like Zecora, or perhaps a talisman to do that.
Anyway excellent chapter, I'm officially hooked now.
A truley interesting fic, two beings meeting one another that will most likley have a hard time fitting in, you really thought out a good solid base for this fic.
i cant wat for the episode when she goes in to town
but with the human
all hell will break loose
daw's. that was heart warming :)
1762939 You mean Voodoo?
1763239 No I don't mean Voodoo. Voodoo entails the use of spirits to do your bidding, and create the magic for you. That's why it's commonly thought of as dark magic. Hoodoo is the use of herbs and plants and other tangible things to create magic. Take Dr. Facilier from the princess and the frog for example. He used voodoo, the spirits or (friends on the other side) as he called them, granted him his power.