Rainbow Dash loses her job and is soon about to lose her home when applejack steps in to save the day.
Working with Rainbow can be a challenge and getting rainbow to work can be one too. Welcome to life on the farm!
This is my first attempt of fan fiction so any suggestions to how I might get better would be gladly appreciated. And please point out any mistakes as well, thank you
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great story so far!
Some little mistakes here and there, but nothing too bad.
Well that is a fine story you got there.
Don't let yourself down because of the downvotes. Every story that could seem like a Appledash story got downvoted immediately.
It's sad but true.
Im gonna wait for updates.
>>Nuclear Friendship
Could you tell me what the mistakes were?
Thanks!
>>Tarascha
I wont let myself down, Im working on the second chapter as I type this! Thank you.
s'ILLLLL?
The next chapter is going revolve around Rainbows first day on the farm...that should
be fun to write
Story flow is a bit choppy, but readable. Hard to follow who is talking when you switch perspectives without quotes or names in the sentence. Overall, the concept seems pretty good, and the progression is fairly well paced. I recommend getting someone to pre-read your chapters, if you don't already.
1847199
Yeah I'm still trying to get used to writing, I agree that need a better way to make clear which character is talking. No I don't have a proofreader but if you know anyone im all ears. Thanks for the feedback.
you know what this calls for right...
pie XD
>>MuffinYouSoCrazy
You're very welcome. Also no, i don't know anybody who proofreads, but i could help with spell checking if you want.
1851400
Sure! if you want I'm all for.
You forgot one more member in the Apple family, Winona.
''Oh your very welcome Rainbow Dash it was no trouble at all''
static3.fjcdn.com/comments/bitch%2Bplease%2B_988c3c76582a4b998e6c1f187dddaef7.png
I think there are some more mistakes but I like the story so far.
1855724
. She will be in the next chapter!
How could i forget Winina
1856418
Yeah I'm still getting the hang of it.
The plot itself is good, but try to use quotes, punctuation and so on - this is really hard to read.
likeing it so far
1857488
1858899
Thanks to both of you!
For the story itself: So far so good.
As for other things:
- You seem to be mixing up "your" and "you're." A simple way to distinguish from the two it to separate "you're" into "you are" and see if that's the type of "you're/your" you want to use.
- When one character is speaking to the other (ex. Dash is talking to Fluttershy), make sure to add a comma before their name. For example, in here, Dash is talking to Fluttershy. "Thanks again, FlutterShy." VS (what you wrote) "Thanks again FlutterShy."
- There are also block paragraphs, which are hard to read at times... and could even be quite annoying to some people (since, well... it's a block). Try separating each 2-3 sentences into a paragraph.
- When a new character is talking, make sure to put that into a new paragraph.
Hope that helps!
I LOVE THIS STORY SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1868455
THANKS!!!
1867059
Thanks for all of the tips, I'm glad you like the story so far.
Okay I have fixed some glaring problems on this chapter... I'm a little ashamed.
I wasn't goning to finish this chapter tonight. But my subconscious hates me.
google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/160/386/I%2520wanna%2520post%2520ponies.jpg&imgrefurl=http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/160386-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic&usg=__U9svAW7HIqTiYT7mGla6ESGIAqA=&h=544&w=720&sz=41&hl=en&start=2&sig2=S24cLtHasPRoZE234-iJBQ&zoom=1&tbnid=W0M32NdOobYbYM:&tbnh=106&tbnw=140&ei=dIzzUIOMK8jr0QGcg4G4DQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dcan%2527t%2Bsleep%2Bpost%2Bponies%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DX%26tbo%3Dd%26biw%3D600%26bih%3D1024%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1
D'AWW
Do continue 
Just sat down at the computer and checked everything like youtube or fimfiction for some new stuff.
A new song by AcoustiMandoBrony and a story update on an appledash story? Just awesome.
And the next update shoud come soon? Even more awesome.
Keep your word and update this every week because this story is really good
1957348>>1958660
Thanks comments like that really mean a lot to me
! I will definitely keep my promise, I try to write at least a little each night so i can have time to redo the chapter if it doesn't turn out like I want it.
"fell asleep in applejacks arms"...what are arms?
1965350
its is fixed now!
finnaly getting to the appledash after like 4-5 chapters
and im like first one to read this so woo!
i love it
1982003
I didn't want the first chapters to be Omygosh I love you. I wanted have a reason for Rainbow Dash to live with with Applejack besides the I broke my wings cliche. I want to try and avoid those. And I felt the need to have a small buildup to the actual appledash
1982702
Thank You Very Much
300 story views!
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8952-This_pleases_me.png
1986904makes sense
i didn't get any notfication that this story got an update
i really liked big mac's reaction to his sister "cuddling" with dash 
dash cuddling with AJ in her sleep was adorable
2002609
Thanks
YES!denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2888-DiscordBison01.png
Now, to impatiently waitvfor the next Chapters.
D'aww
Dat siblingship
fucking awsome as allways mate
Big Macintosh being awesome.
No surprise there..
Honestly I don't see where all those dislikes came from.. Sure it's not the best story, but it's not bad or anything..
Keep up the good work!
2027078>>2025513>>2022395
Thanks, I know I'm not that good at writing but comments like these motivate me a lot
2027128 amazing story. can't wait for another update. *royal canterlot voice*GREAT CHAPTERANOTHER!
Really liked the chapter, hope to read the next one soon
2080080
I'm already at 565 words on the new chapter. So it should be out within a week
MYSC,i believe i have fallen in love with a fanfic...kinda like i did metallica :')
2080771
.
if by "a" fanfic then you mean this one, I'm glad that I could write something that someone enjoys
P.S Metallica's good but I'm more of a Breaking Benjamin fan.
2080812 yes i mean this fanfic,and breaking benjamins good too.
D'awww
2080555 Can't wait!
2088781
Its at 1,887 words and has been sent if to be proofread
2105211 Awesome!
This pleases me.
hehe. nice so far. continue hte good work. (don't get TOO many ideas though. you might not like were you end up, or might not know were to go if you do)