Wow you weren't kidding when you said this story would be much darker and personal, but dame you no how to make a good story that is both emotionally strong as well as dark and gruesome.
The way you depict the setting is perfect, and the description and detail of it is so clear I can see exactly what the hospital looks like and the dark gloomy sky that practically seeps sickness. The flow of it is also better, I haven't had to stop once or backtrack do to formatting or something else unlike Dust to Dust. The content and overall story is great, though disturbing at times, like on how his own father raped him and the mother knew about but could do nothing about it, that is down right cold. Though the horror aspect of it is amazing I absolutely love the horror genre, and a lot of the parts remind me of horror films I've seen before, like with the part with the mirror reminds me of poltergeist, and I cant help but get the feeling he is already dead but in some kind of hell, almost like the Silent Hill movie, also if you read this at night with the Silent Hill soundtracks it makes the read so much better.
Anyways you are doing great so far, all the aspects blend in well together and is seems you are getting the desired affects of mentally scarring your readers, so all in all good job and will be waiting for the next chapter.
1997548 Actually.. I listen to the SH-soundtracks all the time when I'm writing this Especially Room of Angel from SH4: The Room.. I've always loved Silent Hill, and the second game is a complete work of art, in my opinion
An interesting turn of events... I have to wonder just where this will go. Looking forward to the next update!
1992790 I just hope you realize this is something that happened before everything else, a quick flashback of his life
1992836 I was wondering... I'm getting the feeling this will be turning even darker. Now I WANT to read the next chapter VERY MUCH!!!
Wow you weren't kidding when you said this story would be much darker and personal, but dame you no how to make a good story that is both emotionally strong as well as dark and gruesome.
The way you depict the setting is perfect, and the description and detail of it is so clear I can see exactly what the hospital looks like and the dark gloomy sky that practically seeps sickness. The flow of it is also better, I haven't had to stop once or backtrack do to formatting or something else unlike Dust to Dust. The content and overall story is great, though disturbing at times, like on how his own father raped him and the mother knew about but could do nothing about it, that is down right cold. Though the horror aspect of it is amazing I absolutely love the horror genre, and a lot of the parts remind me of horror films I've seen before, like with the part with the mirror reminds me of poltergeist, and I cant help but get the feeling he is already dead but in some kind of hell, almost like the Silent Hill movie, also if you read this at night with the Silent Hill soundtracks it makes the read so much better.
Anyways you are doing great so far, all the aspects blend in well together and is seems you are getting the desired affects of mentally scarring your readers, so all in all good job and will be waiting for the next chapter.
1997548 Actually.. I listen to the SH-soundtracks all the time when I'm writing this Especially Room of Angel from SH4: The Room.. I've always loved Silent Hill, and the second game is a complete work of art, in my opinion