Chapter 25 - Tartarus, 2nd Movement
Lancer should have known better than to give in to the wrathfully cute eyes of Little Miss. Whatever answer he gave to Winter Tulip wasn't going to matter, and he would receive Posey’s wrath regardless.
He sent Aries and Taurus ahead to make sure that the monorail system was cleared of any possible sabotage or maintenance issue, and then ordered the doubling of police presence in the Ponyville Slums. As an extra measure, he along with Winter Tulip and Governess Cheerilee would be traveling under different identifies as a family from Gaeaopolis. It made Cheerilee happy for some reason when she should be worried for Winter's safety. When he asked her, she mumbled an answer he didn't quite get, but that was just like her to act shy in front of him.
They travelled at the dead of night in the hopes of Winter being too tired to look out the window to view the ugly sprawl of Gaeaopolis and the Ponyville Slums zooming by. Lancer tried to stay up to make sure her innocent view of her country would not be tarnished by obvious degradation and corruption of the Government. He fell asleep in the very late hours, but the little filly woke up ahead of him and bounced impatiently for her "mother" and "father" to get up.
So far, so good. The arrival into the Ponyville train station was uneventful. The second-hoof clothes made Lancer's "family" appear ordinary, though hats, bundled manes, and sunglasses aided in their disguise. The were more police here than even Gaeaopolis, and their guard dogs sneered at anypony who even thought about getting a look at the recent arrivals. The mandatory porters were given a pass to move Lancer and her group's luggage. Of course, these porters were actually plainclothes agents, armed and willing to throw their lives away for the Chancellor's. Lancer wanted to use them as shields as they made their way to their waiting vehicle, but Winter had already galloped ahead.
"She is sure excited to Ponyville," said Cheerilee.
The time for small talk fell flat between them. Lancer was more worried about the Little Miss, but he had already planned ahead for this. Winter had already ran into her other "big brothers", Taurus and Aries, who were already waiting for the family with the window-tinted limousine running. Everything should be going according to plan, but it did not pass Winter's inspection.
"Hey, I can't see out these windows!" cried Winter.
"It's for your protection," said Lancer. "These windows are bulletproof, and nopony from the outside can see you."
"But I can't see out. I'm already in disguise. Why would I need all this? Isn't that why you're here Big Brother Lancer? Isn't that why Taurus and Aries are here as well?"
"We are your protection, Little Miss."
"I know, but didn't you say that Ponyville Slums is a safe place like Gaeaopolis?
"Yes, I did."
"Then I want to ride in an open carriage."
"I do not believe your mother would approve of you riding in one."
"If you won't let me, I'll tell her that you and Cheerilee are getting married."
"That's not a thing a lady should say lightly!" Cheerilee blushed. "Surely Lancer has another in mare in mind, right Lancer?"
"Taxi!" Lancer cried.
Two pony-drawn taxi carriages were hailed, with Aries and Taurus taking the rear and Lancer, Cheerilee, and Winter Tulip taking the forward. The seating arrangement was small for the latter group, with Lancer sandwiched between a beat-red Cheerilee and an infinitely curious Winter. Despite Lancer's warning, Winter leaned out with a perfectly stiff posture as she watched the appalling conditions of her country where empty shops and long lines were the norm. Everypony she had seen were unhappy, and the constant presence of police and Clone Soldiers, protectors of the citizenry, did nothing to uplift them. This was supposed to be the scheduled fall season, but small piles of snow on the sidewalks and gutter made the Ponyville Slums appear cold and miserable.
The carriages took them to the old Apple Highway 95 that led to what was known as Traitor's Land: Sweet Apple Acres. Winter Tulip was warned not to run too far ahead or stray off the marked path, for fear of landmines, but all she could see were holes and holes everywhere. Her hooves took her to an area where the charred corpse of a barn house once stood, and she stubbed her sole toe on one stubby plank. The plank, charred like the rest of the wood, had splinters clamping onto the stems of three withered daisies. When Winter tried to get a closer look, a sudden wind shattered the daisies into pieces.
Then something else drew Winter towards a small forest of charred trees. Ignoring Lancer and Cheerilee's second warning about landmines, Winter trotted over to a particular tree that had burned wooden structure nestled between its branches and trunks. It looked to be some foals' clubhouse, the kind of thing she had seen in books and magazines. Even at its faded and charred shape, she got a hint of what the clubhouse would have looked like in its prime. She imagined it having a yellow-painted railings and a vibrant and buffered finish. There would be a retractable step ramp to let members in and keep out enemies. There would also be a flowerbed at the top window, and a telescope at the top observation floor. It was disheartening to see such a place of fun and adventure in a terrible state.
"Who lived here?" Winter asked as Lancer and Cheerilee arrived behind her.
"A family of terrorists and traitors," replied Lancer. "All descended from Smart Cookie."
"Who? Who were their names?"
The stallion remained silent.
"Answer me Lancer! Don't lie to me!"
The rumble of a descending airship drew everypony's focus to the sky, but this wasn't any ordinary airship. This was Posey's sleek aerial flagship, and just as it appeared, it had immediately touched down to the ground along with two smaller escort airships. Clone Soldiers funneled out in formation and lining up along the sides of a carpeted ramp. They stood at immediate attention as Chancellor Posey marched out of the shadow of the interior of her aerial flagship in her fascist military regalia. Cheerilee and Lancer bowed out of the way as mother approached the daughter with a stern stare.
Then without provocation, Posey slapped Winter.
"We are going home," said the Chancellor.
Obediently, the little filly marched behind Posey back into her airship. She knew not of the fates of Lancer and Cheerilee, but could only assume harsh punishment would be dealt to them for not preventing Winter from leaving the Palace.
Despite all her harshness, Posey immediately procured an ice-cold cloth to apply to her daughter's reddened cheek, something the little filly did not want to receive during the ride home. Stubbornly, Winter tried to sit farthest from everypony, especially from her own mother. She made the Chancellor sadder by pushing away a mother's loving hooves.
"There is a very good reason why you can't venture outside the Palace," said Posey.
"So you can hide all the poverty in front of me?" Winter retorted.
"That wasn't my intent, but it is true that there are ponies out there who are less fortunate than us. This is what the war between us and the pegasii has caused. Food, clothing, and shelter have been spread too thin throughout our country, and, to my great regret, we literally do not have enough to distribute around."
"Why not give all the food we have to them?"
"Our country needs to have us well-fed so we can function properly and better serve their needs. Yet even the food allotted to us pale in comparison to the amount we to give to everypony every year. For now, little Winter, everypony including ourselves will have to suffer until we defeat our winged enemies in the west."
"Okay, but can you at least tell me one thing."
"What do you wish to know, my daughter?"
"Am I an Apple?"
Posey sighed, and she suddenly hugged her daughter tightly.
"Whether you are an Apple or not, you will always be my daughter."
The sniffle from her mother made Winter feel guilty for upsetting her, and for the remainder of the ride, they all remained silent. When they returned home, Posey cancelled all of her appointments just to spend an entire day with her daughter. She took over Cheerilee's lesson plans and made it more exciting by her inserting anecdotal stories about her time in the air force. Posey also personally cooked her lunch and dinner, and then read her stories during bedtime. For that one night, Winter was allowed to sleep with her mother in the grand bedroom.
Then in the next morning, Posey was gone. The normal ritual and routine had resumed as if nothing happened, and again Winter Tulip was alone. On her way to breakfast, she spotted Cheerilee and Lancer separately from the down the halls. They must have made it back, though she could not tell whether they were punished or not.
As she sat by herself at the breakfast nook, Winter tapped the spoon on her bowl of oatmeal as she resumed contemplating her true identity. Her mother neither confirmed nor denied of her daughter being an Apple, but at least it wouldn't matter in the end. However, the dreams and visions of fire continued to haunt the filly, and she still could not forget the grieving visage of Rebel Applejack. Winter didn't want to break her mother's heart by forcing her to tell her truth, and she did not want to, in any way, strain their relationship. She did not want to disobey her any further, but she had no choice. There was one other pony who could tell her what she needed to know, and she needed to hear it directly from her. Winter would find her, no matter what.
It took some schmoozing and a bit of bribery, but Applejack managed to land the janitorial duties for the kitchen over by the mare's ward. That, and Mrs. Cake happen to let slip that one of her usual custodial workers caught the flu and was sent home.
Applejack mopped her way to the storeroom where she entered discreetly and quickly. She repeated the patterned knock Mrs. Cake gave her onto the manhole cover. Five seconds later, it popped open, and out came a purple head with green spines running across his back.
"I am so glad to see you again little fella," said Applejack as she hugged the little dragon. "How's Twi?"
"She's okay," Spike replied, "but she can't move or cast any spells. Are you ready to break out, AJ?"
"Not yet. There's a couple of things I gotta do first: first is to break two of my friends and my big brother out."
"Your brother is alive?"
"Half. Second, they got my Element, and if Twi's not feelin' all right, then I gotta get it back so she can move again. Thing is, I have no idea where it’s at. Sure wish Pinkie was still here."
"Who's Pinkie?"
"Me!" cried a pink pony dressed in a black sneak suit and night vision goggles. The startled dragon hid behind Applejack as a pink head topped with a baby alligator popped out of the manhole.
"Wha--how is it--what the hay are you doin' here?" Applejack stuttered.
"I told you I would come back," smiled Pinkie.
"So what is it then? Sellin' fake unicorn horns?"
"I was gonna suggest that I was selling a suit made out of ponies' Nature's Call and pegasii wings, but then I realized that would look silly! Instead, I snuck through an old pipe and found myself here. Wow, so he's a baby dragon. Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and this is my home."
"The sewers or the prison?" asked Spike. "AJ, I'm getting a weird vibe from her. Is she some kind of mass murderer?"
"She's just Pinkie,” said Applejack, "and let's leave it at that."
"So what's the mission Captain Jack?" the pink pony saluted.
"Um, okay. Listen, there's this thing called the Element of Truth, and I think they still have it in this here prison."
"The Element of Truth, huh? If I know my secret prisons, then they must be holding it in the Secret Prison."
"There's a Secret Prison?"
"They call it Tartarus 02, and that's where they experiment on ponies. Creepy stuff happens down there, and it's up to Pinkie to find out what's going on!"
"Pinkie, you do realize you don't have to do this. You're a free mare. I can find the Secret Prison on my own."
"I insist AJ, because making my friends happy is what makes Pinkie Pie happy, and I won't accept no for an answer."
"I didn't even ask."
"And you don't have to. Bye!"
"Wait!"
Hyper-active, ninja Pinkie,
Party-active, ninja Pinkie,
Awesome-active, ninja Pinkie,
Sneakin' through the sewers--Pinkie Power!
Agent Pinkie D. Pie: A.K.A. Miss Pink; A.K.A. The Pinkster; A.K.A. Princess Angelina Contesa Louisa Francesca Banana-Fanna Bo Besca the Third; A.K.A. Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivruski the Fourth. Dressed in her pony-patented tactical espionage action gear, Pinkie bounced, dodge-rolled, and double-jumped through the hardly-dangerous perils of Rock Prison's sewers battling darkness, stinky sewer water, and boredom. Aiding her was Gummy, A.K.A. Gator Gaga, a baby alligator with a not-so-dark mysterious past of being fished out of the toilet as an egg by Dripping Pink Madness.
"Applejack can't escape without the Element of Truth," Pinkie said. "Wouldn't she be so excited when we return back with it?
"What's that? Class 5 Felony? Gummy, I know we are breaking the law, but AJ and her brother can't remain in this prison. She needs to get back to Twilight the Book-Smarty Unicorn and Sunny Delight. I'll make sure that after they escape, I'll get caught so that I can stay here forever.
"Whaddya mean I should go on an adventure with them? I can't leave all these ponies here. I do know that it is only AJ that can make her brother happy, but there are many other ponies who are just as sad as him. Sure, I was born here, and mom died here... But where else can I go? The most unhappiest ponies live here.
"Well, Pinkie can't dwell on these things right now. Here's the A/C pipe to the Secret Prison. Take cover Gummy!"
From underneath her black suit, Pinkie pulled out a plastic explosive bomb that she stuck on a thick pipe. She grabbed Gummy and dove to the farthest corner to take cover. The bomb's klaxons buzzed, and no sewer-shattering kaboom occurred. Pinkie returned to the back and sniffed at the misbehaving explosive.
“Silly me,” she said. “This is just some wires and some clay.”
Turning around, Pinkie bucked a large hole into the pipe that turned out to be weak from rust and age in the first place. A gust of air briefly escaped, and Pinkie took a quick look in to see that the drop appeared awfully deep and dark. She tested it by dropping a set of jacks and listened carefully for about a minute. No sound was heard, but the pink pony shrugged her shoulders and jumped in. With a resounding “whee!”, the pony and the baby alligator fell and tumbled through pipes, vents, and chutes that eventually spat them out onto the floor of a medieval catacomb prison where the walls were tall as were some of the doors.
"Secret, prison mare!" Pinkie whisper-sang as she ducked from corner to corner, avoiding the Clone Guards patrolling the high security area.
"Secret, prison--" Pinkie covered her mouth as she hid behind a stack of boxes filled with various scientific equipment and computer gear. This bites. There were too many guards for her to sing her sneaking theme song, and all she could do now is tip-hoof to any place where the Element of Truth might be. That sounded like an exciting treasure, and she heard stories that, aside being part of a series of powerful magical artifacts, the Element of Truth could reveal whatever any pony wanted to know. It would be useful for her to find out where her sisters were in the world.
Then again, the pink pony had no reason to know these things. She knew that her sisters were out there somewhere alive and hopefully happy. That was all that mattered. What mattered was that she needed to make Applejack smile, and getting back her Element was the best way for Pinkie to fulfill her destiny, or else her name was Punching Judy. Which it wasn't. But she did manage to elicit a laugh from a prisonmare named Punching Judy before she was released about a year or so ago.
Pinkie did not let the groans and screams echoing across the Secret Prison get to her, and she resisted peering through the barred viewing port to see who had been imprisoned here. Nonetheless, she succumbed to curious temptations anyway, and stood on her hind legs to view the first one. There, she found a drooling stallion wrapped in a straitjacket. Sensing neither happiness nor sadness from him, Pinkie zipped from cell to cell to make sure that wasn't the case for the other ponies. The prisoners either cackled madly, foamed at the mouth, drooled, or exhibited combinations thereof.
In the third last cell, she saw a chic and a surprisingly mellow blue pony with a white mane who greeted a "guten tag" to her. In the second to last cell, Pinkie gasped in horror. She saw her friend and fellow team member Quirky Screw fluttering her lips with her hoof. Then at the last cell, she found Lucy Screw barking like a dog.
Not too far, a large mechanical door opened, and a green pony scientist trotted into view. Pinkie immediately tackled her, and together they rolled back through the doors and into a lab area filled with long tables of containing magical artifacts. Pinkie grabbed one of them to use as a potential weapon and aimed it at the scientist's muzzle.
"Lyra!" she cried. "What's going on with everypony? Why are they acting crazier than me? Answer me or I'll use this... thing!"
"That's the power of the Second Element," replied the scientist. "All it does so far is drive ponies mad."
"But how could you do this to my friends?"
"Please Pinkie, it wasn't my call! It's all Posey's idea!"
"Posey, huh? The biggest meanie of all meanies. Doesn't she know that she can't force ponies to be happy? How do we break the spell?"
"I don't know. We haven't researched the Second Element enough to know how to reverse it. I swear Pinkie, I never wanted all this happen!"
The doors behind them opened, and in poured in the Clone Guards for the pink pony's tackle. Pinkie, still carrying the potentially dangerous artifact in her mouth, narrowly avoided their warning shots by leaping over one of the artifact tables and going through another door that led into a short and narrow hallway. She immediately jumped into the area behind the largest double-doors and ran as fast she could.
Where she ended up was a dead end, and she slammed right into an innocuous block of stone with an omega symbol glowing an ominous blue. The Clone Guards immediately surrounded Pinkie right as she recovered her senses, and about a dozen or so rifle barrels pointed at her.
“Warden Bon Bon,” said Covalent Bond as he emerged into the chamber. “Who on earth’s name is this mare?”
“Her name is Pinkamena Diane Pie,” replied Bon Bon who appeared alongside him. “She used to be a prisoner here.”
"All right everypony!" Pinkie cried. "I have this... thing... in my hoof! Don't come any closer or I'll use it!"
"You idiot!" cried Covalent Bond. "That's a human hand exerciser! You can't do anything with it!"
"Aha! Trying to bluff me, aren't you? You wanted me to think that this is a useless bauble just so you can make me surrender!"
"I was the one who researched it you fool! Guards, shoot her down!"
Unfortunately the Clone Guards, in all their rigorous incubation programming and rigid military education, were not just puzzled, but also frightened to shoot due to the presence of the unfamiliar artifact. Their mental vocabulary was specific, and unfortunately the word 'human' was not part of their repertoire. Even Bon Bon shared their sentiment towards the mysterious artifact Pinkie waved menacingly in the air.
Angrily, Bond reached into one of the Clone Guard's holsters to grab a mouth-operated pistol and took two shots at his target. Neither bullet struck the pink pony, but in her panic she spun around and threw the artifact over the innocuous block of stone, which then bounced off one of the wall-mounted mechanical drill probes before tumbling over to the back wall.
"Ha!" Pinkie cried. "I damaged your precious block!"
"You damaged nothing!" Bond retorted.
Suddenly the robotic drill-probe fell apart. Several overhead lights shattered, and the ground cracked. The innocuous block lurched forward and sank partway into widening crack towards a corner. Everypony then heard something catching on fire behind the one-way mirror in the next room. All Professor Bond could do was bite his lip in utter fury at the pink intruder.
"Um, my bad?" smiled Pinkie.
Heh...heh heh...HEHAHAHAHAHA...hehehe...HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Ooooh, that Pinkie Pie, how I like thee. Seriously, that mare can easily get a laugh out of me. Great job on getting her character down perfect.
C&Cs:
"Wha--how is it--what they hay are you doin' here?"
> Replace ‘they’ with ‘the’.
I swear Pinkie, I never wanted all this happen!
> Add ‘to’ after ‘this’.
Great work with this chapter, you are doing a wondrous job catching those mistakes, and the story is rocking more and more as it goes on~!
Great love it!
2300627
All fixed.
Did my eyes deceive me or is there a munchkin reference among Pinkies' many aliases?
Courage the cowardly the dog reference
Such a wonderful job of writing Pinkie.
I just started reading this fic the other day and while it is a truly addictive story I find that grammatical mistakes and mistypes are making it difficult for me to follow. But that's now why I'm taking the time to type this comment.
I just wanted to go on record saying that this is just about the very best writing of Pinkie Pie I have EVER come across. And she's still true to herself even as she fits perfectly into this dystopian world you've created. Congratulations. Your Pinkie is a masterpiece!
I hope I'm able to hang on and finish this whole thing. It's length is very daunting.
I must pause here and continue reading on the morrow. Good show!
3184420 I don't know about munchkins, but Princess Louisa Francesca etc.etc. is an Animaniacs reference to Dot.
4977277
The Banana-fana-fo-faser is an item in munchkin. Princess Angelina Contesa Louisa Francesca Banana-Fanna Bo Besca the Third bears a passing resemblance
Noone caught the Cowboy Bebop reference? For shame!
bad you- using animaniacs
Did you just sneak in a Cupcakes reference? I love this story so much. And yeah, Pinkie is definitely right, that would look pretty stupid. I remember it quite vividly from the Rainbow Dash Presents.
6268589 cdn.meme.am/instances2/500x/2282826.jpg
God dammit, you had one job and messed it up you were supposed to write a crappy story that I could start reading and quickly stop, not ... this, I've been reading it on and off all day and I'm a quarter through, I probably have stuff to do which I can't even think of right now because I'm so hooked on this. Well there goes my weekend, I hope you're proud of yourself
Seeing as this is one hundred chapters at the time of writing this, and I don't want to just do a huge review at the end or a small one every chapter, I'm going to do one about every twenty five chapters.
tl;dr - It's really good, but needs an editor.
Okay, with that out of the way, let me start by saying that this is one of the most creative and engaging AU stories I've read. The characters are very much in character, Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie and not just some idiotic comic relief, and the pacing is perfect (mostly). However, it has quite a few issues that should be addressed.
First, most of the problems could be solved by having an editor (that actually knows how to edit) go through and fix the grammar mistakes as well as the misused/misplaced/missing words and phrases. There were a few times that I was drawn out of the world because I had to stop and decipher what was supposed to be said. I'm sure there are plenty of people that would be willing to help.
Second, there are a few issues with continuity issues as well. For example, you refer to Spike by name before he's introduced to the main characters. While we already knew it, the perspective was following Twilight and AJ, so the narration should be mostly limited to what they know. Another example, after escaping from Tartarus-01, you reference the passage of time based on Applejack's 'wrist-mounted computer'. Where did this thing come from? Why was it never mentioned before? As far as we know, it just materialized there. A wrist-mounted computer is a pretty big deal, and should have been mentioned or even used before. Instead, I'd change that to an old pocket watch. That would be a minor item and would be excusable to have glossed over.
Finally, I may be wrong, but if I'm right about Posey either being a changeling or involved with changelings, that 'green goo drink' is way too obvious. I'd just call it a 'green drink' and leave out the 'goo'. Of course, if I'm wrong, nice use of misdirection.
Also, something entirely unnecessary but you may want to consider anyway is going through and changing Pinkie's sisters' (at least I'm pretty sure they're her sister's) names to Marble and Limestone to match canon. Like I said, though, it's not necessary.
Anyway, I'll see you in chapter 50.
Holy shit, this is the best Pinkie writing i've ever seen.
The single scene describes what authors should strive for in Pinkie Pie, not some over the top fourth wall breaks in a story just move the pace along.
This is beautiful!
6649425 why change it to Marble and Limestone? It's already been established that this is non-canon to the show, and secondly the story itself was written well-before those names were made canon (plus the fact that the names "Ingrid" and "Bellamena" follow the naming convention pattern that Pinkie's full name does: what with her full name having been established as "Pinkamena Diane Pie")
25 chapters into this fantastic and very well-written story of yours on my third re-reading, and I have to say that this "Book" of yours is severely under looked whenever I'm on. And with how much level of detail and care you put into it, I am curious as to why it doesn't seem to have much traffic going for it.
I am wondering why nobody is bothering to make a dedicated Wikia or TVTropes entry for this series?
This is without a doubt one of the best Pinkies I've ever seen written. Congrats sir.
Ponyville isn't a verb...
wow... just... nice reference