Discord goes to Earth. Hilarity ensues

by maximus25

Day Discord in Equestria

It was a bright and sunny day in Ponyville. The birds were singing, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Except that one pink one that followed Pinkie Pie around, but we won’t count that one. It was a special cloud, for a special pony. That’s a story for another time, though. This story is about the one who made said cloud, your benevolent ruler The Narrator.

“It was not! I made it!” A voice rang out over the town. With a loud snap and a flash of light, a multifaceted creature named Discord appeared. Sigh, and I was having fun, too. Anyways, this thing was called a draconequus. He has the body of a serpent, a lion’s paw, an eagle claw, and a bunch of other things I’m too lazy to mention. Also, he had a tail.

So, why was Discord in Ponyville, of all places, and where was the chaos? Isn’t he imprisoned in stone or something? Well he was, until Celestia ordered Twilight Sparkle, her faithful student and badass purple unicorn, to free him and turn him good. This was a smashing success due mostly to Twilight’s friend Fluttershy, a timid yellow pegasus who is briefly mentioned in this story.

He was in Ponyville because the Royal Sisters, Princess Celestia and Luna, decided to kick him out of the castle for a while as they cleaned up after The Incident. Notice how those words are capitalized, it means they are important. Important enough that said sisters have forbidden even me from revealing the information pertaining to said event.

“You’re throwing too much exposition into this. I’m gonna go talk to that unicorn over there while you bore the audience to death!” With a snap and another flash, Discord was standing in front of an mint green colored unicorn. How rude that he would insult me like this, but I suppose I can let the conversation take its due course.

“Hello there little green pony. My name is Discord, perhaps you’ve heard of me?”

The pony looked up in awe, her yellow eyes widening at the sight before her, “Y-you’re him! Discord, the bringer of the end, downfall of Harmony! Creator of the Everfree forest and Humans!” Her face lit up in a bright smile and she began lightly bouncing in place.

Discord froze, one of the words the mare had said bouncing around in his head. This annoyed him greatly, he couldn’t focus on the word with it bouncing around in there! He pulled off his head and dumped the offending idea onto the ground. Bright yellow words spelled out the word, ‘human.’ “How do you know that word, little pony?”

She looked up from the strange sight on the ground, “Are you kidding me? I’ve been trying to prove humans exist for most of my life! I mean come on, doorknobs? What pony can open them but unicorns and some pegasi? I mean, obviously you can, with that claw, and griffins probably have no problems, but an earth pony would have to use her mouth and that’s gross when you factor in how many other ponies have used that same door. So, they had to have been built by a species that can use them. Humans is the answer to that.” She began bouncing around Discord, “And now that you’re here, I can finally prove my thesis and my roommate will stop thinking I’m a crazy pony!”

Discord began backing away, “Right. Well, I just remembered that I had some chaos to cause elsewhere. Gotta go bye!” He disappeared, leaving the strange human obsessed pony behind.

Suddenly, there was one cloud in the sky. On it rested a sunbathing draconequus who was quite cross, “Jeez! You could have at least warned me about that!”

I’m not the one who wandered off in the middle of ‘boring exposition’ leaving me to follow you. I’m The Narrator, you’re the character. We each have our parts to play, and this relationship won’t work out if you keep breaking the fourth wall to pieces.

“I do not break the fourth wall! I serenade it, dancing a fantastic salsa with it before setting it back where it belongs. Upside down and with me on the other side, of course, but still in relatively the same area. Sometimes.”

Whatever. Just be quiet, and do your job. Now, Discord was still thinking about the humans. It had been a while since he had remembered that poor race he created. Maybe he should go pay them a visit.

“Oh, how clever. Turn my blunder around and make it seem like I was working for you all along.” Discord waved his claw, and the cloud transformed from regular water moisture to cheese. He tore off a chunk and bit into it, spraying juice everywhere, “Mmmm, this licorice cloud is delicious. Alrighty then, off to the human world it is, where danger and mayhe-”

Ahem.

“Fine, whatever. Go ahead.” He sighed and took another bite.

Right. Where danger and mayhem are sure to find him and be created by him. Things will not be so simple, as he is about to find out.

“Wait, what do you mean about to find out?” Discord tried to stop himself from snapping.

TOO LATE. Discord snapped his fingers for a final time in this chapter, and possibly in Equestria, disappearing with a loud Bang and a scream of protest. Ponies all over would remember this day as the time chaos was defeated for an indeterminable amount of time.

Comments

[ArtSmock]

How does this NOT have any comments? This is awesome!
Love how the narrator and Discord interact! This is how every fic that involves Discord should go!
But I may be bias, seeing as I love any story that involves ole Dissy!
So going on the favorite list!

Also, FIRST COMMENT! WOOOOO!

[Slip Kid]

... First comment? Did you just say first comment? Why? DEAR GOD, WHY?!

[ShadwSonic]

I somehow get the feeling that The Narrator is another Discord that decided to troll the most untrollable thing in existence... himself.