On a school trip to a quaint little town, Sweetie Belle becomes entangled in the past. She soon learns that some stories infect everything they touch, like a virulent plague, creating sad, twisted clones of themselves. And they never truly die.
This would be the ideal time to claim First, I believe. But such would be poor taste as a pre-reader.
I have not yet read Fillystata, and so have no idea where this is going. You have my interest.
One critique that I'd make is that this doesn't really jive with my mental image of Sweetie Belle. She doesn't seem mature enough to narrate in this calm, deliberate style. Perhaps it's just an issue of taste, but it's there.
I see what you mean. I like to think that Sweetie Belle is quite clever, and that since her special talent has to do with singing she's also very good with words and poetry. I like to think her thoughts are very descriptive and even poetic. I know this may jive a bit with people's expectations, but I hope I can still get her voice right so that it hopefully works.
Seeing as i fell in love with Fillystata and The Mare In The Mirror, I'm really looking forward to more chapters here! Absolutely spot on with how i see sweetie belle. she's always the sensible one who gets left behind in the cmc adventures. faved, loved, watching for more!
2161767 you sir, have a way with words, as I've discovered on deviantART. your stories are among the few that can make me cry and smile, feel angry and happy all in one. this should be another emotional masterpiece. can i hope to see this on dA?
Glad to hear it. And I might post it to dA as well sometime, although I don't believe you can format text with colors on dA. Not a huge loss, but still. FiMFiction really is much better for posting stories than dA
Very interesting and well written. I actually didn't have any problem, but perhaps that's me viewing Sweetie Belle in much the same way as you. Whatever the reason, I'm really enjoying this, and looking forward to where it goes. I'll also need to make a note to read Fillystata.
I guess my problem with this story is that Sweetie Bell feels too old/cruel. Likely due to the weird nightmare thing. Also I don't really get why she wanted to get a scarf that was in her nightmare.
2181204 We see the CMC fighting each other in the show sometimes, the opening scene of Return of Harmony comes to mind in particular. I'm sure they get in each others' manes sometimes, but ultimately it's brief and afterwards they're right back to being friends. There are of course other possible explanations for Sweetie's mild cruelty in this chapter, but I like to think it's not that OOC on its own.
Similarly with the scarf. There could be "spooky" explanations for that, but it also works that she simply felt it had to be some kind of sign, that she had to have it because it had to mean something.
This would be the ideal time to claim First, I believe. But such would be poor taste as a pre-reader.
I have not yet read Fillystata, and so have no idea where this is going. You have my interest.
One critique that I'd make is that this doesn't really jive with my mental image of Sweetie Belle. She doesn't seem mature enough to narrate in this calm, deliberate style. Perhaps it's just an issue of taste, but it's there.
Looking forward to what you have!
2151178
I see what you mean. I like to think that Sweetie Belle is quite clever, and that since her special talent has to do with singing she's also very good with words and poetry. I like to think her thoughts are very descriptive and even poetic. I know this may jive a bit with people's expectations, but I hope I can still get her voice right so that it hopefully works.
Seeing as i fell in love with Fillystata and The Mare In The Mirror, I'm really looking forward to more chapters here! Absolutely spot on with how i see sweetie belle. she's always the sensible one who gets left behind in the cmc adventures.
faved, loved, watching for more!
2161758
Thank you
2161767
you sir, have a way with words, as I've discovered on deviantART. your stories are among the few that can make me cry and smile, feel angry and happy all in one. this should be another emotional masterpiece. can i hope to see this on dA?
2161788
Glad to hear it. And I might post it to dA as well sometime, although I don't believe you can format text with colors on dA. Not a huge loss, but still. FiMFiction really is much better for posting stories than dA
2161790
oh yes i see now. heh. checkmate there.
but glorious story, da!
I claim 0001000th.
You are good at writing!
I have nothing else to say.
Mostly because my brain is too sugar high to process anyt
SHINY!
2162134
Thank you
Fascinating so far, and very smooth writing. I will be watching to see where this goes!
2162957
Glad to hear it
Very interesting and well written. I actually didn't have any problem, but perhaps that's me viewing Sweetie Belle in much the same way as you. Whatever the reason, I'm really enjoying this, and looking forward to where it goes. I'll also need to make a note to read Fillystata.
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
2169692
Thank you. Glad to hear you enjoyed it
So I finally read it.
I guess my problem with this story is that Sweetie Bell feels too old/cruel. Likely due to the weird nightmare thing. Also I don't really get why she wanted to get a scarf that was in her nightmare.
2181204
We see the CMC fighting each other in the show sometimes, the opening scene of Return of Harmony comes to mind in particular. I'm sure they get in each others' manes sometimes, but ultimately it's brief and afterwards they're right back to being friends. There are of course other possible explanations for Sweetie's mild cruelty in this chapter, but I like to think it's not that OOC on its own.
Similarly with the scarf. There could be "spooky" explanations for that, but it also works that she simply felt it had to be some kind of sign, that she had to have it because it had to mean something.
It's kinda weird reading this in Sweetie Belle's voice