Metroid Equis
Chapter 2
Ponies
All her systems were a go as Samus trekked through the first trees out of the clearing. She held her Arm Cannon at a slightly raised position while she used her left hand to help clear a path through the foliage when necessary. It was a habit to be in a 'passive-aggressive' state, because from her experience, that extra second to lift her Cannon to battle ready status could mean the difference between besting an enemy or being severely wounded.
Either way, she was extremely cautious in this new environment… simply listening to the sounds of the forest as nothing of particular interest showed up that was worth gathering information about… for the time being. Soon enough, out of pure habit, Samus brought her left hand up to her helmet and switched her standard Combat Visor to her Scan Visor, allowing her to find particular objects and points of interest… "scanning" them, and retrieving sometimes vital information. Small indicators appeared over scan-able trees and fauna, but nothing really necessary to her survival or mission completion. There was no Phazon in the area. That was certain.
The town appeared a few miles north of here. Maybe something interesting will happen on my way there…
Samus set herself right on her course and walked on.
Oh who am I kidding, of course something will happen. It never fails.
It was basic Hunter instinct and experience that told her no matter how quiet the forest may be, she was never alone. After taking a few more steps the sound of a branch breaking behind her immediately grabbed her attention. Samus spun on her heel and planted her legs in a combat ready stance, pointing her Arm Cannon in the general area of the offensive noise… only to find a rabbit staring at her in a curious way. She lowered her weapon slightly and looked back with a humorous expression on her face… although the outside world couldn't see it through her green visor.
A little rabbit… it's kinda cute.
Soon after, a doe emerged from the bushes next to the rabbit, again sporting the curious look on its face.
Deer… are they not afraid of me?
Samus lowered her Cannon to her side and sensed movement behind her. Upon turning her head and consequently her body around, she was shocked to find a falcon and a couple other birds land on the ground and the surrounding branches. As she eyed the birds, Samus felt something nudge the back of her helmet. Turning once more she found the doe nuzzling her. Her defenses crumbled and she reached out with her left hand to stroke the face of the doe, petting it. Although they couldn't see it, Samus was definitely smiling in a giddy fashion. She hadn't been this close to wildlife before, at least the wildlife that didn't want to kill her.
There was another twig snap, which gained the attention of every animal, accompanied by a series of low growls. Samus turned towards the area in question to find the offending creatures.
Wolves…
The animals all scurried and flew away, leaving Samus alone, which was perfectly fine by her. However, something was off about these wolves…
Are they… made of wood?!
The four wolves began to circle her, deciding not to attack her yet so they could gauge her threat level. Samus used this time to scan the weird creatures. Switching to her scan visor, she pressed and held a button once her visor reticle was trained on one of the creatures. The scan finished with three 'beeping' sounds, displaying information on Samus's visor:
"Recorded to Logbook."
[Morphology: Timber Wolf]
You have got to be kidding me… seriously?
[Lumber composed Canine Predator. Possess all traits of the common wolf, save for being bound together by innumerable pieces of wood by unknown means. Common predator in the forests of planets within the 51st Quadrant of Federation Space. Timber Wolf bodies are very fragile as a result of their construction. Exploit this weakness; however be aware of the wolves' unusually sharp teeth and claws.]
All she needed to know. She switched to her combat visor once more and raised her Arm Cannon in an offensive stance, pointing it towards the first wolf.
Alright… Sammy needs to practice her aim. Which one of you is first?
On cue, one of the timber wolves snarled and lunged at her from behind. Samus, in fractions of a second due to experience, immediately targeted the offending creature, aimed her Cannon and fired one Power Beam projectile with a resounding:
*BLAM!*
The golden projectile flew forward at high velocity and hit the attacking timber wolf midair, striking it in the chest and causing it to explode in a hail of lumber and wood fragments. After the first wolf went down, Samus immediately turned back towards her front and wasted no time in finishing off the rest before they could attack her or flee to regroup.
*BLAM!* *BLAM!* *BLAM!*
In perfect succession, Samus fired three more rounds into the three timber wolves, scattering their wooden carcasses all over the forest floor. She retracted her Arm Cannon in front of her and placed her left hand over the chassis in a semi-victorious fashion.
Too easy…
Samus began to casually walk away before she heard a slight twitching in the lumber remains behind her. She peeked over her shoulder plate and found the timber wolves reassembling themselves from the remains.
Or not.
Samus returned to her fighting stance, facing the four wolves that were hell bent on getting revenge on her for scattering their forms. To her, it was obvious that she couldn't shoot them with her Power Beam or simply pull them apart by conventional means. She kept her sights and Cannon trained on the growling and snarling timber wolves… just waiting for them to make a move. But before any attack came, the solution hit her like a Pirate Frigate:
Samus, you're an idiot.
She adjusted the orientation of the fingers of her right hand inside of the Arm Cannon, consequently eliciting a golden glow of the appendage that emanated from the barrel, but moved its way to the rear and back in a 'scanning' motion. The Cannon then became elongated outwards, stretching its components, with the voids being filled with magma: Samus's feared Plasma Beam.
Her new weapon armed, she trained the sights on the first timber wolf and fired. A powerful beam of pure molten substance shot out at high velocity, striking the creature and burning it up completely. There were no remains to be seen. Two of the other wolves jumped her at once, only for Samus to roll out of the way and fire two more beams in rapid succession; incinerating the two timber wolves where they stood. She aimed her Cannon at the last timber wolf who was cowering at the sight of his companions getting vaporized. Samus didn't fire and gave the creature a chance to flee.
"Go! Get out of here… before I charge this damn thing."
The wolf needed no other harsh words. It turned on its legs and scampered off into the forest, whimpering the entire way. Samus gave a curt nod in its direction, acknowledging the defeat. Her Cannon phased back to her Power Beam (which was the default beam) before she turned around and strolled northward through the forest once more.
'Timber' wolves… hehe.
Samus continued her trek, but not in a hurried pace. She didn't know the extent of the Phazon threat. For that, the Federation would have to do more investigating, but from what she could tell, this forest at least wasn't afflicted. Still, it was wise to get things done in a timely manner; at least in her line of work… it tended to avoid casualties. Her animal friends from before joined up with her again, walking alongside her. Granted, this wasn't something she was used to in the slightest, but she didn't complain about the company. Animals tended to have a knack for sensing things beyond human scope, after all.
Once again, Samus was stirred from her happy musings by an enormous roar in the distance… approximately a small trek east of her position. It wouldn't have been too bad, if said roar wasn't immediately followed (and overlapped) by a shrill scream of terror. Samus immediately sprung into a battle ready stance and looked off into the general area of where the two vocalizations came from. The animals, oddly enough, didn't scurry, but ran towards the sound. Before Samus could even wonder about them, the doe and the rabbit stopped and turned their heads over their shoulders, yet still ready to scurry off towards the disturbance… it was as if they knew something.
They want me to follow them... I really don't know how I feel about this. This planet is already too weird...
... I'm really about to put my trust in wild animals, aren't I? Goddammit.
Samus nodded to the animals; prepared to follow them; the birds, doe, rabbit, and others sped off towards the continuing cries for help and roars. Samus ran behind them, matching their agility when having to bound over downed trees, cross natural trenches (by her choice of either jumping or somersaulting… or both). Soon enough the animals scurried in random directions, leading Samus to infer that they were right on top of the disturbance.
"That is not how you talk to somepony, mister!"
Some…pony?
Samus's thoughts and questions were tossed aside when an enormous roar sounded again to her right. She turned and was met with the sight of what looked like an enormous lion… easily beyond several times the size of her, with a scorpion's tail and wings on its back.
Not even knowing who (or what) cried for help initially, or talked just now, she sprang into action by instinct once the creature's sights of aggression turned on her. Samus aimed her cannon at the large creature, almost unphased by its appearance. Through her adventures, Samus's most used phrase soon became: "Oh jeez, what the hell is that?" So, using the preliminary calm before the impending battle, Samus did what she always did: scan.
Switching to her scan visor with her left hand, the internal computer in her helmet downloaded the necessary information as the two circled each other.
*BEEP-BEEP-BEEP*
"Recorded to Logbook."
[Morphology: Manticore]
[Hybrid Feline predator. Manticores are known for their seemingly genetic hybridity between a large lion, scorpion, and bat, as evidence from the large scorpion's tail and the large wings they possess. Enormously territorial and confrontational, manticores will relentlessly attack their prey and enemies with their razor sharp claws, stinging barb in the tail which produces highly toxic venom, and their powerful jaws. Subjects are extremely aggressive and very durable, possessing higher than average predatorial constitution and alacrity. Proceed with caution.]
Samus returned her visor to its combat form and planned her manner of attack-and-defend. Coming up with something solid, she unleashed fire from her Arm Cannon's Power Beam, unloading seven rounds into the manticore… which doubled back in pain (obvious from the anguish in its roars), but it ultimately only served to enrage the beast even more without dealing any lasting or crippling wounds. It charged at her and took a swipe. Samus dashed and rolled out of the way before getting back on her feet and unleashing another torrent of rapid fire of her Power Beam, followed by the launching of a missile. The missile exploded somewhere on the chest of the manticore, leaving the fur singed and burned but nevertheless it soldiered on, becoming even more enraged. It swiped again at her and Samus rolled out of the way once more, but only to come into contact with the manticore's scorpion tail sweeping in her path. It collided with her fiercely and she was thrown against a tree, shattering the bark with her impact.
Samus slumped to the ground after the hard impact but instantly recovered on her feet. She took notice that her suit's energy drained a decent fraction as a result of the attack. Getting back into the fight, she concluded that ranging the manticore would only further aggravate it, and she didn't think it was a particularly good idea to attempt to set it on fire due to them being in a forest (the Plasma Beam only worked for the timber wolves because they were flammable as well as their size, allowing for near instantaneous vaporization). So, Samus believed she'd have to get in close and go for a killing strike… but that could prove problematic with the manticore's cat-like reflexes and barbed tail. After circling each other once more, the Hunter formed another plan.
She altered her right hand's orientation inside her Arm Cannon by separating her fingers outward, thus switching to the Wave Beam. She fired three rounds at the creature, each one homing in on it despite its attempts to evade; shocking it each time it hit. Samus then charged the beam, gathering its energy and forming an enormous ball of pure, purple-colored electricity which was coursing through her now bloated Arm Cannon. The creature still didn't back off, so she released the enormous projectile with a loud 'bang,' having it find its target in the manticore's chest. The impact of pure electricity sent the beast into a catatonic and convulsive seizure where it stood. Using this opening, Samus sprinted towards the creature and leaped up onto it, climbing onto its back while it was still in the midst of the Wave Beam's electrical shocking effect. Once she reached the back of its neck, she armed a missile and inserted the Cannon into its mouth; firing off the concussive round and having it detonate inside. That ended the fight immediately as the manticore stopped moving and slumped to the ground lifeless. As the now deceased creature fell to the ground, Samus leaped off of its back, somersaulting once more and landing on her feet; turning to see her handiwork.
That was… interesting. That hit hurt, too.
Samus gave a curt nod to the corpse, honoring it, in a weird sense, for providing her with a worthy battle. She respected all of her adversaries in her own way, even the ones she loathed with a passion.
Ridley…
She stretched her back and arms out, and as she was about to turn around another snap of a twig alerted her to another presence. Samus instantly raised and aimed her Cannon out to the side towards the noise.
"Eeep…"
Huh?
Samus lowered her Cannon and turned towards the faint voice and found a cream-yellow, pink-maned…
Pony…?
Upon a closer look, it had wings, which Samus was able to recall the names for winged horses being 'pegasus,' or 'pegasi,' in this case. She found the smaller creature trembling with fright and hiding one of its teal blue eyes behind its mane. Samus cautiously approached the pony as to not frighten her any more than she already was… most likely as a result of witnessing the battle between her and the maticore. She (or Samus assumed it was a 'she,') didn't even attempt to run. It was literally paralyzed in fear, and only trembled and whimpered more so as Samus stepped closer. When she was close enough, Samus got down on one knee so she could be at approximate eye level with the pegasus, who only shrunk lower, but managed to look back with some curiosity in her eye. The Hunter extended her left hand as a sign of good will to the creature and spoke with a soft tone:
"Do not be afraid, little pony. I mean you no harm."
The pony stopped trembling a bit and peeked out more from her mane in order to get a better look at Samus… or what probably looked like a 'metal monster' to her. She did not expect such a soothing and feminine sounding voice to permeate through the robotic creature… one that didn't even appear to have a mouth.
The pegasus wordlessly nodded, although she was still apprehensive. This universal language of approval or acceptance took Samus a bit by surprise; for now there was no doubt that the pony understood her perfectly. She decided to 'press her advantage,' in a manner of speaking.
"Were you the one that screamed for help?" the Hunter asked. She mainly hoped to prove that she meant the creature no harm through the softness of her voice rather than through cognitive understanding. There was little doubt in her mind that the creature was sapient and could probably speak; however the chances of the pony actually speaking the same language as her were virtually nonexistent.
"Y-yes…"
Samus's eyes widened (although the pony couldn't see). She did a quick check and confirmed that her helmet's translator was not active for the response. Now this was completely unexpected.
"Wait… you're able to understand me?" Samus asked, clarifying.
"Y-yes… I can…Why wouldn't I?" the pony replied, softening her stance and opening up a bit more. Samus drew her gaze down and to the side… pondering everything so far.
Sapient, Basic-speaking ponies. I can't even… Well, at least this makes things easier. A lot easier.
She turned back to the pegasus:
"Are you hurt? Do you require any medical attention?"
"N-no, I'm fine. Is h-he… dead?" she asked in return, pointing towards the corpse of the defeated manticore.
"Indeed."
The pony sighed and looked down in a disappointed/defeated manner.
"I was hoping it w-wouldn't have to come to that. I tried to calm him down but he wasn't having any of it. The animals have been acting insufferably lately. Either way, th-thank you for coming to my aid," she said a bit louder but still relatively softly and hiding behind her mane a bit. It was clear that she was either still nervous towards Samus, or just really shy. Samus picked the former.
"No problem… but what's your name?" Samus asked.
"I-I'm Fluttersh…"
"I'm sorry? I couldn't hear you there."
"M-my name is F-Fluttershy…"
Umm… Sure. Fine. Okay.
"That's… an interesting name. I'm Samus. Samus Aran."
"I c-could say the same for you… if t-that's okay with you…"
Samus found her antics slightly amusing; especially since she was living up to her name in a manner of speaking. From what she could also gather, this Fluttershy was a lover of animals. That would explain a lot actually… especially when Samus's animal entourage led her to the pegasus when she was in danger. Speaking of which, Samus noticed that the doe and rabbit appeared next to Fluttershy, nuzzling her affectionately.
"Did you venture into the forest alone?"
"N-No. My five other friends and I came into the forest to search f-for something that apparently landed somewhere here. We split up to cover more ground and that's when I found the manticore," Fluttershy explained.
They witnessed my arrival and were looking for me. That also makes things easier…
Before Samus could speak, Fluttershy had the wheels turning in her head.
"Was it you who somehow came from the sky and landed here?" Samus nodded.
"You could say that, but there's an important reason as to why I'm here. That can all be discussed in due time but I believe it's in our best interest to find your friends and let them know of your safety as well as my presence," Samus suggested. Fluttershy, who was less afraid of the green-faced metal-clad creature now standing in front of her, seemed to agree.
"Y-yeah that would probably be a good idea. They shouldn't be too far away fr—"
"FLUTTERSHY?! WHERE ARE YOU?!"
They both turned at the interruption and found a Rainbow-maned pegasus rushing through some bushes.
"There you are Flutter…shy…" the female pegasus's voice trailed off as she took in the sight of Samus towering over Fluttershy; both looking at her. The cyan pegasus instantly flew towards Samus aggressively. Samus saw this coming (with a bit of astonishment) and dodged.
"What did you do to her, you freak?!" she asked with malice in her eyes, fluttering in place and ready to attempt another attack.
"RAINBOW DASH!" Fluttershy scolded. The two turned towards the yellow pegasus with surprised looks (though, of course, Samus's couldn't be seen).
"You have no reason to treat our guest like that! She, in all honesty, probably saved me from an enraged manticore!" Fluttershy proclaimed, pointing her hoof towards the downed manticore to further accentuate her point. Rainbow finally noticed the body. She mouthed 'Oooh…' in recognition.
"And her name is Samus!" Fluttershy continued. She then whispered to the Hunter:
"You are a girl… right?"
Samus wore a deadpanned expression, which, of course, was concealed. She merely nodded in response. Under Fluttershy's scrutiny, Rainbow Dash fluttered to the ground and rubbed the back of her head with one of her fore-hooves, a sheepish grin plastered on her face.
"S-Sorry about that… kinda got carried away when I saw you two there. After her scream I just kinda connected the easiest dots. Thanks for looking out for her," Rainbow apologized and expressed gratitude… although some of it came from obligation due to Fluttershy's serious expression, which lightened considerably.
"Don't worry about it. No harm done."
"I'm Rainbow Dash, by the way… and what are you?" the prismatic-maned pegasus asked, getting a closer look at the armor-clad Hunter.
"Samus, pleasure. And I'm human."
"Human, huh? Twilight would probably know more," Rainbow added. Fluttershy agreed.
"Yes, and we were talking before you arrived. It would probably be wise to find the rest of the girls. Samus here was actually the one who somehow landed here."
"Really?? You can fly?!" Rainbow Dash asked eagerly, her demeanor lightening up considerably.
"By myself, no. I actually arrived in my ship which is south from here," Samus responded, motioning behind her with her cannon.
"Ship? You mean like a chariot?" Dash asked confusedly.
This will take some explaining.
"Ehhh… more or less, yeah."
"That's… so awesome!! Can you show me? Huh? Can ya?" Rainbow asked even more eagerly, fluttering up to eye level with Samus.
Well, she's certainly taking a fully armed alien in stride.
"Later, we don't have the time for that right now. It's important that we find your friends since you've been looking for me," the Hunter responded.
"Fluttershy! Rainbow Dash! Where are you two?" another voice called out coincidentally.
Well, okay then!
"We're over here! Come this way! We found what we've been looking for!" Rainbow shouted back.
"What does that mean? And stay there, we're coming to you!"
"Waiting on you!" Rainbow shouted back once more.
"How many of you are there?" Samus asked out of curiosity.
"There's six of us, and you'll get to meet the other four in a few seconds."
Before the human could respond, four more ponies galloped through the brush towards them, stopping suddenly once they caught sight of the Hunter. They looked up at her in awe, and Samus wasn't sure how to go from here.
"G-Girls, this is Samus. She was the one who landed here in the Everfree and she rescued me from a large manticore, and she's a human… be nice to her…" Fluttershy introduced, still with her shy demeanor.
Unicorns… really now.
"A human?!" the lavender unicorn's eyes brightened. "All literature says they're just myths! And you don't really match the pictures."
Well, that's ironic.
"My, my… whatever it is you're wearing is simply marvelous!" the white unicorn exclaimed, walking around and examining the Hunter's armor. Samus watched her path out of instinct, a bit wary of that one.
"Oh, where are our manners? I'm Twilight Sparkle, personal student of one of our rulers, Princess Celestia, and tasked with assembling the six of us to discover what landed in the Everfree forest," the lavender unicorn introduced herself.
"I'm Rarity, and I must compliment you on your style of clothing… even if it is armor. You simply must tell me more about it when we get the time!" the white unicorn proclaimed.
"Ah'm Applejack. Me an' mah family run Sweet Apple Acres. Ain't gonna find finer apples in all of Equestria!" the orange mare commented.
'Equestria?' Must be their nation or colloquially recognized name for their planet.
"I'm Pinkie Pie but everypony calls me Pinkie. I work at Sugarcube Corner baking and cooking and I LOVE to party! Since you're an alien, that means you're not from this world and if you're not from this world then I don't know you and if I don't know you…" The pink mare stopped bouncing in place hyperactively and gasped audibly. Before she could do anything else, Twilight stopped her.
"Okay Pinkie, that's enough for now."
Samus stood there with a dumbfounded expression on her face.
Okay then..?
That's when she realized that it was probably wise to formally introduce herself as well. Confirming that the air was indeed breathable, she pressed a release on her helmet, accompanied by a click and hissing sound before she slid it off of her head, revealing her feminine, humanoid face. The other ponies' eyes lit up in awe as they got to see her true face that was not hiding behind the visor. Samus took a deep breath before speaking, holding her helmet under her left arm.
"I'm Samus. Samus Aran, and it's a pleasure to meet you all, albeit under somewhat less than appealing circumstances."
"Likewise, Miss Aran. I am under orders from our ruler, Princess Celestia, to take you with us so she can personally meet you, along with her sister. All will be explained and hopefully you can provide us with some—"
Twilight was interrupted when another roar in the distance made everyone perk up.
"While I appreciate the friendliness, Twilight, I think it would be better if we were not in this forest anymore…" the Hunter proclaimed. She nodded.
"You're probably right. Come on everypony, let's get back to the Library," Twilight ordered. Everyone nodded and formed up, walking northward towards the forest, Samus keeping somewhat to the rear, raising her cannon and just listening for trouble. She had replaced her helmet on her head for ease as well as to conceal her 'thinking face,' as she took everything in.
Talking, candy-colored ponies. I guess.
They trekked on in relative silence, save for a few questions asked back and forth (as they were saving the major discussion for when they weren't under threat of being slaughtered by possibly another manticore or whatever else lurked in the Everfree). After about an hour and a half's worth of travel, they arrived forest periphery.
"Twilight Sparkle, do you think it's a good idea for me to just stroll into town with you?" Samus pointed out, examining the town and its occupants going on about their days.
"Good point. I'll cast an invisibility spell on you and disengage it once we enter the Library."
Samus blinked a couple of times, wrapping her head around what was just told to her.
"Invisibility spell?"
"Well, yeah. It's quite common that—OH! Right, not from here. Well, as a unicorn I, as well as Rarity over there are capable of using and manipulating magic," Twilight explained.
Samus held a stoic face.
Magic. Why am I surprised? The Chozo were similar.
"Samus, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked, noticing that the Hunter was just standing there, her visor or helmet not moving in the slightest. Samus shook her thoughts clear.
"Very well. Do what you must," she finally answered. Twilight nodded and charged her horn, which Samus took great interest in.
I'm definitely getting a wealth of new information. I'll make certain of it. As well as a drink.
"Ready?" Twilight asked, confirming. Samus gave a curt nod. With that, Twilight's horn casted a single beam which enveloped the armor-clad Hunter and lingered momentarily before disappearing. Samus's systems responded immediately, displaying diagnostics on her visor.
[Unknown force acted upon Varia Suit. Scanning…]
.
[No adverse effects detected. Varia Suit has temporary ability to distort light waves, rendering you invisible.]
Samus was unable to see her physical body when she looked down. Waving her arms in front of her face failed to yield any results either. She was indeed, invisible.
"This is… very interesting," Samus commented, switching to her X-Ray visor and finding her physical body still there. She was still able to touch it as well.
Incredible... Even Shadow Pirate stealth technology pales in comparison.
Twilight giggled a bit. That was the usual reaction of those with first experience with a directly applied invisibility spell.
"I'll explain magic as best as I can to you when we sit down and talk about the whole situation at hoof. I'm assuming you know about the meteor that struck our planet?" Twilight asked.
"That is actually most of the reason why I'm here, so your assumption is correct. I feel it is wise to also speak with your leader or leaders as well when we do discuss important matters and implications," Samus added. Twilight nodded.
"Alright, I'll send a quick letter to the Princesses and they'll do their best to explain the entire situation. Now come on everypony, and… person?"
Samus grunted affirmatively at the correct word usage. Twilight nodded back with a smile and beckoned the group out of the brush and into the town limits. Samus followed closely behind, careful not to bump into anyone or anything. Soon enough they arrived at the front door of a large…
Tree house...
"We're here. Please, make yourself at home, Samus, and we'll send for the Princesses," Twilight added. Samus nodded in thanks to Twilight, letting herself in after the rest of the group.
The next few hours of discussion would be crucial.
Yes! Thank you for the new chapter!
Listening to this with the Metroid Prime soundtrack was AWESOME. I wonder if the Varia Suit will be able to shift in and out or if the invisibility will wear off.
I'm really liking Samus' character in this as well.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
nice chapter, yeah introductions can be tedious from what I read in most stories
Actually, the existence of magic really shouldn't be too surprising to her. Pretty sure the Chozo had quite a bit of experience with it, and then there's Bryyo... They had a civil war over "science vs. magic", remember?
(Personally, I find "science vs. magic" to be ridiculous. It's really just "science vs. science we don't yet understand")
Best line in this fic:
Also, good choice of implementing the 'jump-to-face-cannon-down-throat' move from Other M.
Ah, a new chapter so soon. Very good.
I was worried the story might take a bit to get started up but we have some action right out of the gate! I approve. Not sure I like the hand waving of the language barrier away. At least Samus could have needed her translation thingy. Star Trek gets away with that sort of thing all the time.
Oooooh! This is so great!
HOLD ON.
I thought Samus was invisible.
Haha, but anyway, an amazing story so far. Really well done. Can't wait for more.
This is pretty neat. I rarely see a Metroid crossover on this sight. The interactions were a bit odd in my opinion. You mentioned Aether, so I can only imagine that Samus has already encountered the Luminoth and the Ing. I don't know, I guess small, talking equines and magic would be a bit easier to digest than giant moth-men that can harvest light energy and shape-shifting, alien globs of who-knows-what that can make dimensional rifts at will. Then again, I've only played two Metroid games, so I suppose I don't know too much to judge. Nevertheless, I really like this and look forward to more!
As a side note, reading this kinda makes me want to bust out my old Gamecube. In fact... I think I might just do that. See ya later folks! If you need me, I'll be on Aether hunting Space Pirates.
Nice, Saw on front page, read.
I can smell Samus' brain cooking from here.
I'm honestly impressed at how well you portray your characters in this story. Usually when I read a Metroid crossover, I'm always stuck with Samus being a stone-faced, tight-ass. But you've actually created a Samus Aran that's completely down-to-earth and knows how to kick-back. I like that.
Keep up the good work!
I know I'm going to enjoy this!
Is it bad that I laughed this ENTIRE CHAPTER? I don't know why, but I'm in a very happy mood, almost everything I've seen/heard today made me laugh.
Oh god, I'm turning into Pinkie Pie!
Your doing great! Really loved how you interpreted Samus's personality! Although I would imagine that pony magic wouldn't exactly impress her. Hasn't she seen the Chozo do crazy things as well? Anyhoo, keep up the good work!
>mfw Phazon in Equestria
Just remember to be careful about usage of words like "hands" and "man (like in manpower)".
Also, MOOOAAARRR!!!
You did a GREAT job incorporating her arsenal and other assorted gadgets into this fanfic. Especially the scan visor. Nice logbook entries. Bet you had a FUN time thinking them up. :)
SHE DIDN'T SCAN FLUTTERSHY! OR ANY OF THE OTHERS! WHY!!!
2381790 LOL DONT WORRY ITS ALL PART OF THE PLAN XD
I could even hear the suit's voice system with the recording... Yup, just like Echoes!
Good thing they don't have a bog like Torvus Bog... Grechlers are not fun at all.
2381816
Kinda plotholeish if you ask me.
Anyways Samus is nothing like I figured she'd be... but I've just played the games and with the whole "silent protagonist" thing going on (except for other m) everyone is going to come up with their own idea, or inject some of themself, or whatever.
Maybe I'm just unimaginative but I figured she's more of a stoic type who doesn't talk much. Yeah, unimaginative, definitely. lol.
Anyways not to say how you're interpreting her is bad imo... I'm definitely going to read more as you deliver. :)
Also I kinda wonder if there are any Chozo Ruins around Equis... though Samus' suit didn't recognize "magic" so if so they probably never interacted with the Equestrians...
Ok, I am loving how you're portraying Samus on this one! Keep at it!
Not even close. There is no such thing as a universal sign of approval. Although thanks for trying! But no there is none. A thumb up isn't universal, or a wave, in fact some people 'click' their tongues to say yes.
but it's a culture thing. not many every day people really know that.
But on a side note: Fluttershy warmed up to her too quickly. I mean if I saw a metal monster that's my size (or slightly bigger) take down a dragon with prejudice and say "I mean you no harm" I don't think I'd sleep for weeks and I'd obey it's every demands because it's scary as shit.
But whatever the story is ok so far, despite the unnecessary violence.
*POW!*
The golden projectile hit the attacking timber wolf midair, striking it in the chest and causing it to explode in a hail of lumber and wood fragments. After the first wolf went down, Samus immediately turned back towards her front and wasted no time in finishing off the rest before they could attack her or flee to regroup.
*POW!* *POW!* *POW!*
....Descriptive would be better than sound effects. Like: A golden mote of condensed light streaked out of her arm cannon, and impacted heavily on the wooden carnivore's chest- reducing it to a hail of twigs and splinters.
Or something lie that. CERTAINLY NOT *POW*.
Please. You're better than that.
(I'm not a big-time writer, I'm just pointing out that you could've done better.)
It's about time somepony wrote a decent crossover of Metroid and MLP. This will be fun. I wonder what new power-ups she'll acquire over this journey. :3
<3 DarqFox
The animals, oddly enough, didn't scurry, but ran towards the sound. Before Samus could even wonder about them, the doe and the rabbit stopped and turned their heads over their shoulders, yet still ready to scurry off towards the disturbance… it was as if they knew something.
Universal non-sapien animal language for 'follow.' Either way, someone's clearly in dire straits. Lead the way!
Samus nodded to the animals; prepared to follow them… she trusted them for some odd reason. They seemed… different.
[.....Yeah, no comment]
The whole chapter was way ooc. but meh, I can deal.
2381826
You nuts?! Grenchlers are my FAVORITE! All you need is two charged dark beams, and it's done. Not to mention they're easy to dodge.
<3 DarqFox
2381867 I originally had samus scan the ponies at first interaction, but it didn't fit for what I was trying to do after she got out of combat. I wouldn't dream of her not scanning them :)
whoa hold on I didn't notice this.
But she's invisible?
whoa hold on I didn't notice this.
But she's invisible?
Oh darn I hit send twice
2381959 lol the onomatopoeia was more for a sound effect of the cannon firing because there are certain aspects I don't like to go into enormous detail over. I've done that before and it ends up seemingly too concentrated on a minor detail and thus the feeling of being "bloated" over something so simple, as say the Arm Cannon firing. But I understand. I'll do well to add a bit more description when introducing something. Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter though. It will get better from here after I work out all the kinks and mesh feedback with my work.
2382008 Yeah I noticed that also after someone else pointed it out. We'll just say Twilight was able to see her somehow since she was the spell caster... I don't think it will have too much effect on the plotline. My first chapters are usually the weakest and I understand the frustration that some people have.
2381994 Yes and no. The entire games were of silent protagonist, so the inner monologues were your own. I decided to interpret Samus as not so much of a stoic hardass as she may seem. I'll admit I may have made things a bit unrealistic in some aspects but then again, it's Equestria.
It's my first couple chapters, and in all of my stories they tend to be the weakest since my brain doesn't start working until like chapter three. I'll be sure to write a bit more meticulously next time. Though, I'm glad people are pointing these things out now rather than later. I understand the frustration, thanks for helping me work though it with your feedback.
Any interpretation of Samus's personality that excludes her apparent obsession with the baby is a win in my book.
other M would have been a lot better if it weren't for that.
Keep up the good work.
Excellent portrayal of Samus in my opinion. I still can't get over how awesome it is to see a decently written Metroid/Pony fic. It is a bit of mystery, and a slight irk for me, of how she retained her items from the first Prime here but not on Aether. Then again this is just a fan fic and the details should be left to you.
2382064 I understand, but realize she returned all Luminoth technology when she left Aether
While Samus's shock of the use of the term 'magic' is understandable, when it is explained to her she should have much less trouble than the ordinary human would. After all, she was raised by the Chozo - who's entire culture and technology was based around the psychic manipulation of biological and other forms of energy - and she has dealt with the Luminoth - who had similar abilities to te Chozo. Magic would be an impressive innate ability for a race, but nothing outside her ability to accept or comprehend.
All in all, excellent writting and combat in this chapter, and I like how Samus interacted with the Mane 6. Can't wait to see how she interacts with Spike (hope she doesn't have a 'Ridley' reaction, since Ridley does resemble a dragon.) Also eager to see Samus' diplomatic side.
So Twilight turned Samus invisible, then giggled at Samus's physical reaction and saw that she nodded? I think Twilight needs to work on that spell a little.
Just replace I'm with I, so it's proper.
Her Cannon phased back to her Power Beam (which was the default beam) before she turned around and strolled northward through the forest once more.
* "Cannon" isn't a proper noun and doesn't need caps, same with "Power Beam."
* I'd try to avoid using parenthesis. Good for notes, but sloppy in writing. By leaving this out the reader will probably assume the power beam is default anyway. Ask yourself if this fact moves the story forward or helps develop the character's personality. If not then get rid of it. Characters make the story, not their cool gizmos.
Try to keep any opinions/emotions out of the narrator. This is pretty much the definition of third person, in that the main character is not the narrator. (The creature still didn't back off...)
The action scenes have too much explanation behind the character's actions in them. Good action scenes keep the reader in the "now," not in the past.
Hope this helps.
fucking awesome, cant wait for more.
Very well written. Love the portrayal of Samus as a battle-hardened veteran who's still capable of positive emotion and even amusement. I'll be keeping an eye on this series.
"Small indicators appeared over scan-able trees and fauna, but nothing really necessary to her survival or mission completion."
Huh, I thought that her Scan visor would simply highlight scan-able items in red or blue like in Prime 2 but that's a very minor detail and given that this is your personal work, I will defer to you. No need to split hairs. I like it, though. It is easily the first well-written Metroid-pony crossover that i have encountered thus far. Keep it up!
2381994
Perhaps, but the way she interacted with those critters didn't really seem all that different from how she interacted with the etecoons or dachoras in Super Metroid.
I'm not normally a fan of cross overs, but this looks seriously good. And that's saying something considering that I haven't played any of the Metroid games. Keep it up I want to see more!
My favorite line was definitely
This is pretty awesome, I wanted to say something more specific but I forgot what it was. But well, anything that reminds me to listen to the prime trilogy soundtrack is pretty awesome already.
Well, first battle scene of the fic, and you handled it very well. There were some parts that seemed just a little bit off, I dunno, perhaps some of the terminology or something, but overall, excellent. Can't wait to see more.
Yeah, introductions always can be a pain in the ass. But you did pretty damn well. The first chapter was quite an interesting start and it makes me wanna play Metroid Prime 3 all over again. Then this chapter was just downright amusing and silly. Battles scenes are actually a bit easier with Samus compared to some other battle characters. I also adore plausible plots. Samus Aran ending up on Equestria due to a phazon meteor is totally possible within that realm/world/verse. I just wonder if you're going to toss the space pirates into this mess as well.
I'd dig around for plot points all day long if I could, but I know better. So I look forward to seeing more chapters and just how mad or cute this thing could get.
Definitely digging this crossover. Love me some Metroid, and I like how you're weaving it into the Prime trilogy. Can't wait to read more!
There is one thing that bugs me; something no one ever seems to get right. Animals are sentient. The ponies however should be referred to as 'sapient', from the word 'homo sapiens' (or latin if you want to go back even further). You wrote "Sentient, Basic-speaking ponies". Though the first time you use 'sentient' is fine, because Fluttershy hadn't spoken in front of Samus at that point. I know it's nitpicky as hell but it irrationally bugs me.
In fact, it was Metroid Prime that taught me the difference thanks to when you fight Thardus, his scan bio states that it is 'sentient' and not sapient (and then I googled the words after playing the game).
Okay I'll go sit down in the corner and wait for the next chapter now...
Only annoyance with this so far is your use of parenthesis to state already obvious information.
Otherwise, MOOOAAAAR!