This map will be what the version of Equestria the story is set in.
The nights in the deserts of the Griffon Kingdom were always cold. The barren landscape which stretched for miles was dark and quiet, only the sounds of the occasional rattle snake in the brush or the high pitched squeaks from the bats above were heard. It was a somewhat normal night near the Griffon Kingdom/Equestrian border, the guards by the outpost at Hoovington stood to attention, making sure not to look back into the Equestrian territory.
In truth Miles, one of the Griffon guards on duty that night was nervous. Nervous because the Hoovington outpost was taken over by the Lunar forces. Though Nightmare Moon had opted to leave the Griffons alone, for now that is. Miles was still very intimidated by the Lunar guard, their strong, leathery bat wings were resistant to fire and they were all trained by the toughest of the tough. Each guard looked like the next, the same stoic and imposing attitude.
Sure the Griffon guard were well trained, but Miles had the feeling they wouldn't stand a chance against the Lunar Army. It had been four hours since he had started his shift and it was now 12 am. Nothing ever interesting happens on Miles' shifts, he stood there as still and imposing as possible, but in actual fact he was bored out of his mind. He stood staring into the barren landscape, to the Southeast he could make out the lights from Elabin and to the South West Oasait. They were a couple of backwater towns, but Elabin had a killer night life.
Miles sighed and shifted in his position by the border to get comfortable. When he signed up for the army he expected there to be a little more... action. His job sucked, all he did was sleep during the day and stand there, by the border all night. The biggest trouble they ever got was a drunken guard or two trying to cross into Hoovington. That wasn't allowed, to cross into Equestria would go against Nightmare Moon's demands for non interference.
The Griffon Kingdom was practically under her hoof. It was as if she was the puppet master and the Griffons were her puppets. The Griffon king put up no fight against Nightmare Moon and her demands, and then eventually when the time came, she would demand the loyalty of the Griffon Kingdom to her. This in most likeliness would happen because the Griffon king was terrified of her. So much for a "fearless leader", Miles chuckled silently to himself.
Miles stood there for hours upon end, just waiting for some excitement. Anything to at least lift this dreary mood. In the distance, not too far from Oasait, there was a streak of light shooting down from the night sky. From a distance one may think it to be a shooting star, but up close it seemed to be a golden orb aiming straight for the desert sand. The sound of the rattlesnakes stopped as the silent, golden orb reached the ground. There was a distinctive "whoomf" sound as it touched down.
Miles looked up to the sky and saw a shooting star, he never really believed in the whole "wish upon a star" mumbo jumbo, but he was bored and wanted to entertain himself. So Miles wished upon the star for something interesting to happen. He waited and then... nothing. He chuckled, of course nothing was going to happen, he face palmed. Unbeknownst to the Griffon, in the distance a new creature to these lands had arrived.
oOoOo
Cary looked up from the ground on which he was curled up on. He began to look around him in search for the SWAT team, but what he saw was not the forest in which he was just in. But he was lying in the middle of a desert. The cool night air sent goose bumps down his shirt as he looked around from his kneeling position. "What the hell?" He whispered to himself silently. In a confused state, Cary stood up onto his wobbly legs so he could get a better look around him.
There was nothing but vast expanses of sand. Behind him, Cary saw the lights of a town, or something but he didn't want to go there in the case of the police were still searching for him. So he opted to walk in the opposite direction. Cary was cold as he walked along the soft sand 'Aren't deserts supposed to be warm?' he thought to himself, seemingly unaware that the temperature dropped at night due to the fact that there is no sun.
"Now, where am I?" He questioned himself as he began to walk in his randomly picked direction. 'This is going to be a long night' he thought to himself as he secured his backpack and began to walk through the dark desert.
oOoOo
"This is going to be a long night." Miles muttered to himself tiredly. He sighed and looked back to the clock by the gate 3:34 am "Yep, long night." He couldn't stand it anymore. Just standing still, doing nothing all night. Though he was meant to be setting a good example for the Griffon folk, Miles just couldn't be bothered now. So he opted to lean against the gate to rest a little. Unaware to the young guard, there was a pair of alien eyes watching him from the shadows in the distance.
oOoOo
Cary had been walking for a few hours, he had not known what the time was, nor did he care at this point. But what he did care about was the small town he could see in the distance before him. What he couldn't understand was why the town was medieval looking. The buildings had straw roofs and timber framed homes. There were also dark blue banners and flags which depicted a crescent moon. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he sure was curious.
Cary began to crouch slightly as he approached a more open area not far off from the gate to the town. It seemed to be a border crossing; now looking closer Cary could see the chain link fence which ran for miles in each direction. But the border crossing was not what caught Cary's attention. It was the guard by the gate. "What... is that?" he muttered under his breath. He went into a prone position so he could get a closer look at the... eagle?
As Cary lay prone in the brush, he saw the eagle began to relax against the gate. Whatever this was, it wasn't some mindless animal. That left one question in Cary's mind "Where am I?" he spoke quietly. Whatever he had done back there with the SWAT team, it wasn't out of anger. It was out of fear and the need to run. Whatever Cary had done, he had ended himself up god knows where. He had somehow teleported himself away in the need to survive, but where did he teleport himself to?
He wanted to get a closer look at the eagle thing, so he began a slow crawl through the brush. There was an opening of sand just ahead of him, if he could get past that without being seen, he'd get a good look at it. Cary crawled in his prone position slowly making his way past the opening to get to the cover of the brush. From where he was, Cary could see a row of tents and a small fire in the centre. He also saw a few watch towers on either side of the fence.
As he crawled into the cover of the desert brush, Cary brushed past one of the plants causing it to rustle; he winced at the sound and stayed deathly still. He looked over to where the eagle was, only to see it looking in his direction curiously, squinting to see if there was something hidden. Cary was in full panic now, but he could not move in the case of being caught. Then, the eagle talked.
oOoOo
Miles yawned and scanned the horizon, nothing to do. It was a good few hours into his shift and in a few more hours he was free. As per usual nothing interesting happened or was going to happen, nothing ever happened. Off to his right, he heard the sound of a plant rustling. Miles turned to the sound and squinted his eyes to see if he could catch anything hidden. Perhaps it was a predator of some sort, he hoped quietly. At least that would give him something to do.
Because he was part eagle, griffons had great eyesight. They were born hunters; they would soar high in the sky searching for prey on the ground and strike down on them when unsuspected. Just about 6 meters out, Miles could see something hidden beside a desert plant. Whatever it was it lay prone and he could see it wasn't very big.
"You there! By the bush, get out and surrender yourself!" Miles called out, squinting at the form by the bush. He could swear he heard it say something, but opted to wait for whatever it was to come out for surrender. There was a slight rustle and hesitation, but the creature stood up with a fearful look in its eyes. "Now just, what in tartarus are you?" Miles asked, eyeing up the new creature which stood before him.
oOoOo
"Now just, what in tartarus are you?"
Not only could this thing talk, but upon further examination, Cary could see it had a lion’s body. This was a griffon; Cary knew this from Greek mythology. A half lion, half eagle. But griffons didn't exist, so how was there one standing in front of him. 'then again, having "supernatural abilities" shouldn't exist either ' he thought to himself.
Not wanting to stall any longer, Cary spoke up to the seemingly real creature "Um, I'm a human?" he said with some uncertainty, he was nervous after all. The griffon shifted in the spot a bit, still eyeing Cary up. He was probably seeing if he was any threat to him. What the griffon wouldn't know is that Cary was far more dangerous than he knew. But Cary was going to play the peace card and hope this griffon didn't hurt him.
"So, what is your name 'human'?" the griffon asked, eyeing him. Cary panicked and didn't want to really tell this creature his name, but it didn't really seem like he was in the position to negotiate. The griffon wore steel armour and carried a huge spear. Not to mention his huge talons, there was no way Cary wanted to start a fight with this thing.
"My name's Cary Lee, what's yours?" Cary asked, hopefully by being friendly the griffon wouldn't act hostile towards him "Oh, and one more thing. Where am I? Is this Earth?" he asked in hopes for answers, '"is this Earth?" Ugh, how stupid can I be!? Last time I checked Earth didn't have talking griffons, in fact Earth didn't have any griffons!'
oOoOo
'So this "human" is named "Cary Lee"... what an odd name, then again this was a strange creature' Miles thought to himself "Are you saying you don't know you're on Equus? Ya know, the name of the planet?" he asked as he began to relax a bit more. By the sound of this creature’s voice, he was young, perhaps early teens. He posed no threat to the guard, or so he thought.
Cary's mouth was agape "Not on Earth?" he questioned "How did I..." he seemed to trail off, as if he had found his answer. The human's actions confused Miles, if he was not of this planet why is he not scared? He watched as the human dusted himself off and stepped out of the brush.
"So, you're not from around these parts, eh?" The griffon looked to Cary with feigned curiosity. Miles stuck his claw out for a handshake "The names Miles, I'm the border guard." he said as he shook Cary's hand, well it seems that, that is a universal gesture. Cary coughed to grab Miles' attention; he had gone off in thought.
"Sorry. Okay, what shall I do with you?" he pondered "Why don't you stay in the barracks for now? We'll figure something out in the morning. For now, I have to get back to my post." he awaited Cary's reply. In his defence Cary was in a brand new world, which seemed to be run by griffons, a once thought mythological creature. He was nervous, unsure what to do.
"Um, sure, uh lead the way." Cary said as he sighed and followed behind the griffon guard. They walked along the path to where Miles' post was by the gate into Hoovington. The two of them walked past the open gates of the border pass, unaware of one of the Lunar Guard was watching very closely. This new creature was most curious looking; he had to report this to his commanding officer. Maybe the Empress would find use for it.
oOoOo
Cary was nervous, he was offered temporary shelter, but he was not sure if he could trust this... griffon. In reality he was scared, scared that he wasn't on Earth, scared there were no humans and he was absolutely terrified of the thought of never returning home. Sure he was a fugitive on the run, but he could have stayed with other family around the country. He would have been around people he loved.
He was just going to have to keep his cool and try to get around this problem, or maybe even try getting used to it. He couldn't show weakness and if he were to ever get into trouble he could just use his "abilities" so to speak, to help him. He could fight away any threats without any real effort on his part.
For now, Cary opted to follow the guard and put a little trust into him. He had no one else there for help, so maybe this guard would be a reliable ally. However, there was a thought passing through his head. 'What if they want to dissect me? I'm a new species to this world, so what if they take interest in me?' The thought terrified him, this was the reason he ran away from the authorities in the first place. Not because he was scared of being arrested, but because he didn't want to become some lab experiment.
As they walked along the path, they neared a large tent 'This must be the barracks.' Cary pondered over what the reactions of the other me... griffons would be when they saw him for the first time. Would they become hostile and attack? Would they take to me with curiosity just like Miles? He would have to wait till the morning to find out.
oOoOo
"Okay, here take my bunk while I am on duty. I'll be back at sunrise, I'll explain to the other guards as to what you are and your predicament." Miles whispered, Cary nodded "But for now, get some rest." Cary yawned, it'd been almost 24 hours since the last time he slept and right now the bed looked more comfortable than it should have.
Miles turned to take his leave; he saw Cary get ready for bed and walked out of the tent. The cold air hit him and he shivered as he began walking back to his post "Hopefully nothing happened during my absence", he chuckled at his light joke. Nothing ever happened during his shifts.
oOoOo
"Sir." The dark lunar stallion said, looking to his superior who was reading over a map. The elder stallion looked up from his map, eyes as cold and hard as steel. The type of eyes that had seen many things that nopony in life wishes to witness. The stallion frowned looking at the guard, who was supposedly on duty by the gates.
"Why are you away from your post!?" he barked angrily at the guard, who had seemed unfazed "This better be good, I am in the middle of some important business here and am in no need for any interruptions." he stated in a cold voice.
"Sir, I have spotted an unknown creature, possibly alien on the griffon territory." this caught his commanding officer's attention and he continued "It was a furless bipedal creature; he wore thick clothing, which is used to fight against the cold. The creature is clearly sentient and can speak Equestrian." The elder stallion raised an eyebrow.
"Most interesting... I will report this to the Empress, let's see what she has to say about this... thing." he said. The stallion walked to a small table to the left of him and began to compose a letter to his Empress.
Dear Empress Nightmare Moon of Equestria
I have report of a new mysterious bipedal, sentient being in the claws of the griffons. The creature is furless, but wears clothing; this indicates a higher class of its species perhaps? It is reported that the creature can speak perfect Equestrian and by the sound of his voice he is indeed a colt.
Do you wish for us to apprehend this strange new creature for you to examine, or shall we let him stay in care of the griffons? I await your reply humbly, my Empress. All hail Empress Nightmare Moon, true ruler of Equestria, bringer of eternal night.
Yours faithfully Captain Clouded Shadow
"Now I must await." he grumbled to himself, he turned to the guard "I want you to keep an eye on the creature at all times. We mustn't let him leave the Hoovington area before the Empress' reply. The creature might be useful." he ordered, eyeballing the guard who stood as stoic as ever.
"Yes sir!" he shouted before turning to march out of the room and back to his post by the gate.
oOoOo
Entry#1: I am not sure what world I am in, it is populated by griffons! I am scared and I don't know what I am going to do. So I must sit tight for now, maybe some good will come out of it. I can not show any weakness in front of these griffons, I must show them I am not to be messed with, I must remain strong! If anything bad happens I can just use my powers against them, I may stand a chance. But there are so many guards here. I must go, it is late and I need what little sleep I can scavenge.
2424326 Thank you very much!
2424329
You are welcome.
2424341 Thank you! I really appreciate it I am just glad a few more people are taking the time to read it now :3
2424364 Aye Tanner Cairns is much like a bully from my last school, he never did anything to me, but I remember what he was like and what he did to other people So I got my insperation from an actual bully, I just hope I hadwritten him well and it was believable enough. (Not that special powers or going to Equestria is believable, but y'know xD)
Oh, no. That doesn't sound good at all with the Lunar Guard sending a letter to Nightmare Moon of Cary's arrival. This is a lose lose situation for Cary. Because although he could use his powers when need be, Nightmare Moon could take notice and use him for her own needs. Ooh, this is getting good!
2424425 Oooh you're goooood!
will read right now
Looks pretty interesting, i can also see how you got inspierd by that Music video.
The only problem I've had so far with this story is how familiar the guard sounded when he wrote that letter,
"Dear Nightmare moon"
Instead of like
"Oh mighty and exalted empress of the night"
or something similar.
Then again maybe they're in or have been in a relationship. Idunno.
i'm willing to give this a chance
2424589 Honestly? I had no idea how to start of that letter. She is practically a tyrant and is feared, yet I was unsure how to start off the letter. But I don't want to write anything rediculously cheesey or something what sounded like he was 'kissing up' to her.
Ooo, its getting interesting
Not really, your writing for the most part is pretty good, there was only a few tiny mistakes here and there. I'm guessing that you weren't drunk when you wrote these chapters, which is good. I'm sure that your story would have actually been fine without me, because honestly, your drafts had less errors than the chapters that Silver posts. ... No offense Silver, I know your English still isn't that great. Ummm... lastly: BURSTING INTO FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!!!!!
2424735 Well, still you made it better For that you have my gratitude
2424799
Well, I still have to admit, it is gratifying to see my name being honorably mentioned. Just shoot me the next chapter when ready. ... BURSTING INTO FLAAAAAAAAAAAMES!!!
2424848 May have to wait till next week T^T Got tons of studying and coursework to do during the week
2424861
Ok
Hmm, sounds interesting. Not sure if it's my kind of story though...
This story doesn't make sense!
"But, what fun is there in making sense? Hmmm?"
YOU NEED TO CAPITALISE EARTH IF YOU ARE USING IT AS A PROPER NOUN.
For some reason when i saw the map i thought of this song [youtube=clcHxg9l5Bk]
2426249 Funny... I'm playing Skyrim right now >.>
Well, first you had my curiosity and now you have my interest. I had a few minor issues, first and foremost amongst them was the casual acceptance of this guard, Miles. He observes a hitherto unknown creature crash down to their planet in a mysterious orb of glowing light and he just accepts it and gives it a bed to sleep in at the barracks. Not the greatest action for a guard, surely he should have been much more cautious than that, especially in the time of Nightmare Moon. Also, no Zebrican nation, unless that was the pony colony or was absorbed into Equestria. Speaking of Equestria, if the map was referring to the nation ruled by both Celestia and Luna it would be a Diarchy rather than a Monarchy. If it was referring to the Equestria under the rule of Nightmare Moon then it would have been an Empire. Still, very minor problems in an otherwise good story. Please, continue in this fashion and I shall remain enraptured.
2426263 I apologies for that guard issue, I don't want to change it now, but I will take your words into account! Oh, he thought the light crashing down to the earth was a shooting star at the time, he is still unaware that it was Cary lol As for the rest of the guards, they will not be so laid back as Miles was. Long story short, shit will happen
2426261
Dude thats creepy
I get it, He's named after the pyromaniac Cary from Super8 and his actor IRL Ryan Lee.
2426990 OMG THANK YOU!! The first person to figure that out
2427021 It helps that he was my favorite character in that movie.
Of course Cary is a real name. Why else would this this marvelous man have that name?
Now to read this story...
Of course the Griffins/Gryphons would stand a chance against the night guard! The night guard may be comprised of well trained, fire resistant (I'm not sure at the moment why you mentioned this. I assume that someone is going to try and light a night guard on fire at some point), warrior ponies, but they are still ponies. Ponies are herd animals, so they stay in groups more often then not, and they flee when trouble arises. Those things may be trained out of them, but you can't fully remove those things, because they have been driven into ponies instincts so deep over the thousands of years that ponies have been around that it is drilled into the subconscious. It may not be strong enough to do much, but it will affect them, even if it is only a little bit, but it would be enough. Plus, ponies are herbavores. It is not in their nature to spill blood. Griffins/Gryphons on the other hand are made up of two different animals, both of which are trained hunters and carnivores. They eat meat, and have done so for as long as their species have been alive. In other words...
Griffins/Gryphons are predators, ponies are pray. Even if griffins/gryphons do not eat ponies (anymore), it is in their genetic code for the prey to fear the predators. Fear is a major weakness, and fear, like love and hatred, can make ANY living being make stupid mistakes. Yes, I did just put my ranting in your comments.
Great story so far, I shall follow it to see where it is going.
He he he i remember that video: it was made at my school !
Hate the artist though, and great story
While I do find that this story will go places, that much is assured, I find that it doesn't relate to my interests in particular. I gave it a shot, and I'll shoot it a like, but no fav for me. Good luck with it!
Looks interesting.
...
Is "prologue" misspelled intentionally, or...?
2429468 Or I can't spell :3
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=weMpv14cW9U]
If only because I always wondered about the music video, I will give this a chance. I suck at symbolism, so it'll be nice to give it a story to go with it. XD
Can't read and reply to all comments, I have no access to a computer for abou a week and for good reason, I must study for my exams!!!
2430651 I just followed the video on that part .-. The doors locked and he grabs the keys to unlock it to make an escape. Don't you lock your doors when you're not around? I wouldn't keep a back door to my house unlocked if I was on the other side of the house lol Maybe that's just me :P
2430709 He's a kid... With powers, if you bothered to watch the video that inspired me to write this you would understand .-.
2430667
Admittedly I'm unfamiliar with the video in question but my point was that on most exterior doors these days you only find a keyhole on the outside while the inside is some sort of mechanism for setting the lock such as a latch or turn switch for a deadbolt. Though, like I stated, locks that have keyholes on both sides (double-cylinder) aren't unheard of -- just not common for modern houses. It's something you're more likely to encounter in a commercial or industrial door. Since it sounds like the video you're referencing used a double-cylinder lock I'll tip my hat in favor of authenticity.
good thing that this guy isn't like him, otherwise, the griffons and stallions are screwed
images.wikia.com/hitman/images/4/43/47icafile.jpg
Beware the agents
2430894
You don't get me. He seems to be the stereotypical overpowered escapist fantasy for your average bullied teenager.
It doesn't particularly help that the scenario is a bit unlikely, you mentioned that he could jump really high, and yet, no one seemed to notice.
You should also add some drawbacks to his powers, such as splitting migraines, nose bleeds and in the case of more severe explosions, bleeding from the ears. It just strikes me as odd that one would get the power to perform such magnificent miracles of the mind and yet remain free of drawbacks.
Nonetheless, I thank you for taking your time to respond to me.
2431487 aww jeeze... that sounds like chronicle
2431487
Arbitrary weaknesses are arbitrary. If the weaknesses aren't something to help build the character then they are there for no reason at all.
I'll use Superman as an example.
Superman is weak to kyrpotnite, everyone and their mom knows this, and it's not even that hard to acquire. Using kryptonite as just some cheap Achilles heel would kill the character, no instead they used it intelligently by bringing up situations where Kryptonite exposure could be used to showcase Superman's strength of will or the justice leagues camaraderie.
Sometimes some powers just don't need drawback. Not to mention the pyschokinesis with headaches as a drawback is such an overplayed cliche that's cringe worthy.
It's having any weakness past fatigue from exertion on his type of powers is just adding needless padding.
loving this. need more. write more at your leisure, however, as I am writing as well...
This is a legit fic
also, just noticed that you faved my story recently. Tis a small world.
Keep it up!
Never thought someone would actually make a fic out of that music video. Have a fav and a like. I'll see where this goes.
2432496
Epic avatar picture
2424871
Why didn't you burst into flames? D:<
2432517
I forgot. But let me make it up to you: BURSTING INTO FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!!!!!!!!!!!
2433062
May I also burst into flames? :3