A Heart of Crystal and Glass

by Mani-Roar

Chapter 11

I was abruptly alone with the Changelings. Surrounded by the enemy on all sides. I watched as Thorax directed them. Delegating and giving instructions to his family.

Family? That word felt weird to use even in my own head.

They were all technically related, but did these beings really live as family? I honestly wasn’t quite sure of their family dynamics. Now, I had no choice but to watch as a captive audience while they worked alongside one another. The Changelings collected their dead and tended to their injured. Some of the fallen moaned in pain as they were treated and bandaged. I heard words of reassurance and promises of hope as Changeling helped Changeling. It reminded me of walking through the streets of that Crystal town, watching as Rain Flower and her fellow townsfolk helped each other.

I sat there observing them for what felt like hours. Occasionally shifting my position as one butt cheek went numb from sitting on the jagged ground. The dead and injured had long been carried away to be further treated or buried. I expected them to hiss and taunt me, wanting revenge for their fallen. However, they carried on peaceably. Either paying me no mind, or sometimes too much mind. They wouldn’t make much expression when they did. They would just… stare. It creeped me out, though I suppose it could have been much worse. I was technically their prisoner until Shining came back with Pharynx for the exchange. Perhaps I was fascinating to see up close. The leader of their enemy. The Crystal Pony Princess in their midst. Their curiosity seemed empathetic, almost caring. I shook the thought from my mind, certain I was projecting my own feelings on them.

“Thorax.” I called, not wanting to focus on my imprisonment. I was also bored out of my mind, and starved for conversation with literally anyone. He turned and walked back over to me, their recovery operation well underway at this point.

“Yes M-miss Cadance?” Such a polite boy.

“Are there any rules against a prisoner of war engaging in polite conversation while we wait?”

He thought about his reply for a few seconds. “No, I suppose not.”

I tapped the rock next to me. “Come and sit with me please.”

He obeyed and sat across from me, bringing himself to my height here on the ground. The hard cave floor wasn’t exactly comfortable, though it was certainly an improvement from combat. Fatigue had hit me as soon as my adrenaline rush died down. It was fortunate that I had such a long time to rest after the battle.

“What is this cave for?” My eyes drifted to the cracked orb above the slab on the right. “What happened in this room?”

Thorax was silent for a moment. He stared at me as if there was some answer to be read on my face.

“Honestly, I have no idea what mom was doing in this room.” Thorax rubbed the back of his head. Just like Shining did when he felt shy or sheepish. “She was doing some sort of experiment in here, and it went haywire.”

My eyes went wide as realization struck me.

“Is this where…?” I hesitated. “Is this where I was taken when I was captured by Chrysalis? By your mother?” It was bizarre to refer to Chrysalis as a mother. Even though she literally sired an entire hive. Nothing that I knew about her seemed motherly.

“It was.” He confirmed, following my gaze up to the broken orb. “Your… family came and took you back.” He looked uncomfortable talking about the memory. I suppose if my mother was beaten and defeated, her master plan foiled, I wouldn’t want to talk about it either. I had the privilege of not being able to remember what happened. I would probably be bothered by uncomfortable memories in this room if I could. Looking around, all of this seemed academic to me. I had no personal connection to anything here. It was interesting to get a glimpse of the other side of the conflict. Even if I detested them.

“Why isn’t Chrysalis here now?” I changed the subject for him.

“She…” He hesitated.

“She’s back at the hive.” He looked down at his lap. I was surprised he was willing to tell me the Queen’s whereabouts. Although, we didn’t know where the hive was. Maybe I should be more strategic with my questions to Thorax? Get him to admit something he shouldn’t. That would be very shrewd of me as a Princess.

I opened my mouth to start with the line of questioning. But Thorax kept talking, and his words startled me.

“I miss her. I wish she was here. She’d know what to do right now.” He stared at me for a moment before continuing, sniffling slightly as if fighting back tears. “Sh-She entrusted my brother and I to use this cave as a forward operating base to…” He stared at me, seemingly unsure of how to address this to his enemy. He was showing weakness. I thought that I should exploit it. Use it against him.

“To spy on us, and replace us. So that you can draw us out and feed on our love magic.” I finished for him. No need to dance around the issue on this.

“Yes.” He said with a nod. His cheeks and brow stiffened as he made a brave face again. I would have called him endearing if he wasn’t a love sucking monster.

They were all monsters, right?

My mind wandered to the legend that Pell told me. A kind and friendly race that was cursed, and forced to feed on their friends to survive. Thorax seemed to fit that particular description, but he had to be the exception. A tender heart. The good cop to his brother’s bad cop. Not to mention, his own brother had said and done horrible things to us in the capital. His family had fed on innocent creatures for generations. Those attacks could not go unnoticed or unanswered. I had to use this opportunity.

“And now you’re back to square one.” I continued.

“I…” He hesitated to admit it.

“Because you have to save your brother.” I filled it in for him.

He was willing to fail in his mission just to save his brother. Would the rest of the hive be ok with this? What would Chrysalis think?

“Mhmm.” He nodded as his bottom lip quivered.

“And the rest of Changeling’s are just fine with that?” Not that I was ungrateful. Bringing up the issue felt like poking the bear. One word from Thorax and I could be taken away to the hive as a real prisoner.

“Pharynx and I are high born Changelings.” His chest stuck out as he held his head a bit higher. “We are bred for leadership. The others will listen and obey us.”

“So, what, you’re better than the rest of them?” A few of the other Changelings in earshot gave me a sideways look at that comment.

“I don’t like to think of it that way.” Thorax corrected.

“But Pharynx does.” I fired back.

“Please don’t speak ill of my brother.” His turquoise gradient eyes glared at me.

I softened. “Alright. I’m sorry. But, I’m curious, you are their leaders, right? How did you come to be in charge?”

“I was born into it.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you want to know this?” He asked.

I shrugged. “Curiosity? Enlighten me. I want to know more about you and the Changelings. Our people know so little about one another.”

He nodded briefly and adjusted his legs to sit up more properly. “High born means we are born of mother instead of from her.” He explained.

“Come again?” That sounded like the same thing to me.

“A Changeling Queen usually reproduces by laying clutches of eggs.” He glanced over at the other Changelings. “Most of my brothers and sisters were born that way, however…” He turned his head back to me, softening his expression. “She can also give birth like a mammal. My brother and I were born as twins, in a manner that… your kind…” He looked away again. “Would be more familiar with.”

“So Chrysalis favors Changelings who are born naturally.”

“All births are natural!” His eyes narrowed as his black hide molded his eyes into a fierce shape.

“Then what makes you specifically ‘high born?’”

“Well…” He took a deep breath. “Mom says that high born are destined for greatness and leadership.”

“So it’s all mythology?”

“It’s all destiny.” He stubbornly pushed back. I don’t know why I was being so antagonistic, other than he was my sworn enemy. But, I was also terribly curious.

“Those born from egg clutches begin life in infancy. They grow and develop much like ponies or other species do.” He waited for me to comment. When I didn’t, he continued on. “Pharynx and I weren’t born as infants. We were born with developed minds, fully aware.”

“How in the world did your mother give birth to two fully grown…?”

“Changeling.” Thorax cut in with a shrug and a grin. “Our bodies can mold and adjust as needed. At least it can for a Queen. A Queen’s anatomy has many unique features compared to normal Changelings. It also helps that we weren’t much larger than infants when we were born.”

I had so many questions. His explanation left me more confused than before. However, what I did immediately focus on was that Thorax was born similar to the way I woke up. Fully grown, fully thinking and functional, but no memories. No idea who you are or where you came from.

“Well you look much bigger now.” I inspected him with my eyes like the mysterious creature he was to me. He blushed at my gaze, causing me to stop. I suppose that was a bit rude of me.

“We grew to our full adult size in about a year.” He explained.

“A year!” My mouth dropped open. “That’s so fast. How old are you now?” I felt like I was prying too much, but I just had to know more at this point.

“I…” He looked thoroughly uncomfortable. “My brother and I are three years old. Give or take a few minutes in between.”

“Three?” It was insane to me. No childhood? No adolescence? And he was supposed to be a leader. What sort of cruel child slavery was this? Did his mother even care how he felt? “That’s so young.”

“Perhaps.” He shrugged, rather mature for his age. Or was this normal? “But to me it’s just my life. It doesn’t feel that short to me.”

That I could understand. My life was even shorter than his without my memories.

“What’s it like waking up fully grown?” I knew what it was like for me. I wondered if it was a similar experience for Thorax and Pharynx.

Thorax smiled as if it was a pleasant memory, but never got the chance to speak.

“Thorax!” A gravely yell echoed through the cave. It had to be Pharynx. The malice in his tone was unmistakable. I imagined that hideously condescending look he gave Shining Armor, even when he was the one overpowered.

“That’s our cue.” Thorax swallowed as he stood up. His face looked like he was marching to his own execution. He turned to the other Changelings nearby, directing them to stay put before heading towards the cave entrance. He paused after one step and gestured back to me. “After you?”

His offer seemed more for protection than politeness. He clearly feared his brother more than Shining Armor. Thorax, true to his word, walked alone with me to the entrance of the cave. The cave ceiling was much lower in the tunnel than in that large opening. Stalactites pointed down at me from way up above, making me feel like I was in the jaws of a beast. The same dark twists and turns that filled me with dread hours ago, seemed oddly familiar now. The daylight hit my eyes hard as we approached the mouth of the cave. I had been adjusted to low light for so long, the white sunlight burned through my closed eyelids.

“Thorax!” Pharynx’s voice pierced my ears, as I dared to open my eyes. Shining and Flash had returned together. Pharynx was unbound and moving freely with them. No one of that trio of Stallions looked pleased, least of all the Changeling.

Pharynx rushed toward me and I instinctively dodged. It wasn’t until I leaped next to Shining and Flash that I realized I wasn’t his target. The dull sound of Thorax being stuck drew my attention, as Shining wrapped his hoof around me. I watched in horror as Pharynx assaulted his twin brother. Thorax made no attempt to defend himself. He just took every blow.

“You pathetic!” Pharynx struck Thorax’s jaw.

“Weak!” He struck the top of his head.

“Unforgivable!” He struck his eye, causing Thorax recoil.

“Traitor!”

“Stop it!” I screamed. Every hit on the helpless Thorax filled me with increasing rage. His upper lip was cut. He cradled his hoof over his left eye, crying out in pain.

Pharynx reared back for another hit as I activated my magic. I levitated him into the air. He flailed about uselessly in the glowing blue aura of my power.

“You!” He shouted as he struggled to turn his neck to face me. “How dare you interfere!” He tried to activate his own magic. Whether he meant to hit me with an attack beam or try to drain my love magic, I didn’t know. I lowered him faster than gravity to the rocky ground, causing him to drop to his knees. Whatever he was casting was muted as he cried out in surprise.

“You have no right-”

“I don’t care.” I interrupted him. “You will not hit him again, or I will do much worse than drop you on your ass.”

Pharynx stood to his hooves, sizing me up. Unlike his brother, his eyes were lavender, and his short mane stuck out in maroon spikes. The late afternoon sun was setting behind him, reflecting the sunset onto the crystal peaks here in the mountains. I wished that I could focus on its beauty, yet I had ugly business to deal with right in front of me.

“M… miss Cadance.” Thorax’s voice cracked as he nursed his wounds. He was my enemy. A Changeling. Yet watching him suffer was simply unbearable for me.

“Weakling.” Pharynx spat on the ground. “Show some pride in front of your enemy.”

“Enemy?” Thorax said, briefly forgetting himself. He looked to me, then at Pharynx, and finally the ground. “Right…”

“Changelings!” Pharynx shouted seemingly to no one. “I know you’re nearby and listening.” His mouth curled into a wicked grin.

“We came alone.” Thorax said, still cradling his eye. “That was part of the deal.”

“And I know that our brethren are too curious, and too intelligent to follow your treasonous orders.” He turned to look at the mouth of the cave. “Thorax may have given us a unique opportunity. We had the Captain, but now we can seize the royal family as well.”

“Fly.” Flash Sentry said from behind me.

“What?” I turned to ask.

“Go now!” Shining screamed, reaching for his weapon.

“Get them!” Pharynx yelled, pointing directly at me. “Anyone who captures them gets to feed on them first!” He concluded with a cackle, as a swarm of Changelings burst from the mouth of the cave. They were waiting and watching just out of sight. Pharynx had unleashed a trap without even being here to plan it. Or perhaps Thorax had orchestrated it all along. Was his torment and abuse all theater? Did he plan to renege on the deal from the start? I saw him out of the corner of my eye. He didn’t attack with the other Changelings, but he didn’t say anything either.

I spread my wings and was airborne as fast as I could think it. Flash and I flew side by side as the Changelings chased after us. I looked down in horror at Shining Armor hopelessly running away from the much quicker hive. He couldn’t fly, and apparently he didn’t know how to teleport either.

“Shining!” I screamed as dozens of those dark winged creatures enveloped him.

“Keep flying, my lady!” Flash called to me.

“You would abandon your Prince?” I sneered at Flash, hurt by my disappointment in him.

“We can’t lose both of you.” His argument didn’t convince me. “Trust me, my lady, I have a plan.”

Trust.

I relied on trust. Demanded it. I looked down at Shining again. He covered himself in his Shield, barely visible through the wall of Changelings. The slope he tried to descend eventually dropped into a valley surrounded by crystal walls. Even if he made it that far, he would be trapped and surrounded from the ground and air. I looked back at Flash. My eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Believe in him.” Flash said as we both checked behind us. The Changelings in the air were catching up to us. I had to put all my energy into flying or risk being caught myself.

I spread my wings to their widest span. I coasted for a moment until I felt a pocket of warm air beneath me. Angling my wings I rode the thermal pocket higher, my face pointed upward at the low hanging stratus clouds still higher above me. I paused to hover a few thousand feet in the air. I saw Flash riding the same thermal right below me, and the Changelings struggling to rise farther beneath him. Our feathered pegasi wings could utilize thermal air pockets much better than their thin, transparent bug wings.

“Keep going!” Flash said, hovering up next to me. My eyes were focused on the valley a few thousand feet below me. Shining was so tiny now, it took me a moment to find him again. He had made it to the valley, ready to make his final stand. I should have been there with him. I should have been boosting his shield, and casting attack spells. Instead he was alone, and outmatched. Not helpless, but outmatched. I hated myself for flying away. I hated Flash for telling me to run. I hated my cowardice for listening to him.

My wings tingled as the breeze rolled off my feathers. I angled myself downwards, and prepared for a dive. I didn’t care what Flash thought anymore or what his plan was. I would not let Shining Armor be taken alone.

Die alone.

I would be by his side no matter what. For richer or for poorer. In sickness or in health. Till death do we part. I couldn’t remember saying these words, but I had said them. I said them to him. My husband. My fate would be his. Strategy be damned.

“Here they come.” Flash’s militant voice gave me pause. I was unmistakably postured for a dive, against his direct orders, yet he just spoke calmly and confidently. “Look at the ridge above the clearing where Shining is holding up.”

The valley where Shining bravely fought off the Changelings was a clearing where the Crystal Mountains met the forest. The ridge above and around him was covered with trees, bushes, and foliage. In an instant, the forest moved. Trees and bushes shook with life, as waves of soldiers leaped out of them. Our soldiers. Royal guards in crystal armor jumped down to join Shining Armor in his fight.

The earth pony soldiers jumped into the valley with lances, striking the Changelings from behind and linking up with Shining. A few unicorn lancers were with them, supporting his shield with their own magic. Most of the unicorns stayed on the edge of the ridge, firing down attack beams as artillery support. The pegasi took to the sky, engaging the Changelings that were in flight, and cutting off any support for the ones in the valley below. It was a powerful display of combined arms warfare. The Changelings still outnumbered the ponies, and more were coming to join the fight in the valley.

“W-where did they all come from.” I asked, still fixated on the battle. “I thought we were stretched too thin. With all the patrols.”

“The force you encountered in the cave was large enough that we called back all of the patrols.” Flash said, as I tried to process it. “Sorry, that’s why we took so long.” He shrugged, continuing when he saw the confusion on my face. “Why do we need patrols if we know where the enemy is gathered?”

“What if they had more than this?” I asked. “What if this is half the hive and the other half attacked while we engaged them here.”

“It was a gamble.” Flash admitted with a bit of worry on his face. “But with the Princess's safety at stake, we decided it was worth it.”

My cheeks burned as Flash stared knowingly at me. I had caused this. If a soldier had stayed behind for the exchange, they would have exercised more caution. Caution that would have gotten them surrounded and captured when they returned.

“Calculated risks win wars.” Flash seemed to be able to read my thoughts from my expression. “If we play it safe constantly, we just lose slowly.”

“This was the plan the whole time.” I shook my head. “You and Shining knew this would happen.”

“We suspected they’d try to ambush us when we returned. Especially when that Pharynx guy kept blabbing about ‘getting his revenge.’” Flash chuckled. “Let’s get moving. They can handle this.”

I stayed hovering as the Changeling who were chasing us gained more ground. Or sky, I suppose.

“We’re almost out of time, my lady.”

“What if they lose?”

“He won’t.”

Believe in him, Flash had told me.

“Why aren’t you with him?” I asked, not meaning to sound accusing. Flash’s wide eyes looked like he took it that way.

“H-he ordered me to escort you-”

“We can’t afford to lose both of you. That’s what you said a minute ago.” I cut in.

Flash remained still, except for the minimum wing effort to remain airborne. His silence told me everything I feared.

“My lady-”

“He made you escort me in case he lost. I’m the back up plan, aren’t I?”

“Those Changelings are closing on us…”

“Answer the question!”

Flash sighed, rubbing his face with his hoof.

“You’re going down there, aren’t you?” He peaked at me with his hoof over his muzzle.

“You can help, or you can run. It’s up to you.”

“I’m sworn to serve and protect the royal family.” He positioned himself to dive, just as I had. “No matter how arrogant and reckless they may be.”

“Then you better keep up.” I gave him a sideways smile, and we both dropped into our dive in unison.

The small swarm of Changelings looked ravenous and hungry. Their fangs flared, as mischievous grins filled their faces. They hissed at us, ready to overwhelm the two suicidal dive bombing ponies. I waited until they were nearly upon us before activating my magic. A blue shield formed around Flash and I just as the first Changeling was in striking distance of me. His bared fangs met the shield instead of my flesh, and he comically bounced off of it. Several others did the same as we plowed through the mini swarm, sending the ones we hit spinning out of control. They struggled to recover, a few of them falling into a flat spin dive. I didn’t look back to see how they fared. My attention was focused on my husband in the valley below.

Do you, Cadance, take Shining Armor to be your lawfully wedded husband? My brain recalled a vow I couldn’t remember taking. All I could do was imagine what our wedding must have been like. A palace courtyard in Canterlot Castle. I didn’t even know what that castle looked like. It probably wasn’t crystal like mine, but I’m sure it was splendid. My dress must have been gorgeous. Like something Pell would come up with, complete with expensive jeweled accessories. My mane gussied up in an extravagant hairdo. I imagined Pell looking at me in the mirror, proud of her best work yet. Even though she probably wasn’t there at the time, I wanted her to be. Since I couldn’t have my real memories, I would have to just make them into what I wanted them to be. She would hold back her tears as I softly thanked her for everything. Then she would give me that dry look and say something sarcastic and inappropriate. I would retort with something crude, completely unbecoming of a Princess.

Walking down the aisle I would see Shining Armor. How handsome he must have looked, despite his face giving away every emotion he was feeling. Like a foal on Hearths Warming, his earnest gaze would fill my heart with joy. I’d hold in my giggles, imagining him breaking out into that ridiculous song he sang for me at the homecoming game. A song I’d never heard, and a wedding I couldn’t remember. It was stolen from me, and I would not have him stolen as well.

The ground swelled as the forest and crystal plateaus became clearer and more detailed. I could see Shining Armor’s movements in combat. The smooth, dance-like motions he wielded his lance with.

“Uh my lady.” Flash’s voice sounded stressed. “I think we should slow our decent a-”

“Call me Cadance.” I said as I maintained my dive speed. Shining and the earth pony soldiers were clashing with a line of Changelings, as my rapid descent approached them like a shooting star.

“Cadance!” Flash’s voice cracked as he pulled out of his dive, thrusting his wings at the ground to reduce his speed. I recast my shield around me, aiming for the center of the Changeling assault formation. My timing needed to be perfect, or this would be a pretty short rescue mission. Even through my shield, the wind shear from my dive tugged on my cheeks and fur. I felt the heat from my horn as the aura of my magic grew. Casting multiple spells was taxing. The light of my magic lit up the battlefield, causing Changeling and pony to look up at the sky as I descended upon them. Shining’s jaw dropped, and eyes widened with shock and amazement. Yet, that was nothing compared to the terror on the faces of the Changelings below me. I waited until the ground was upon me before unleashing my magic.

The shock of the landing. The explosion of magical force. The cries of agony and horror. Everything happened so fast as I shut my eyes, praying I didn’t mistime the landing. All was quiet for a moment. Was I in pain, or shock? Was I dead?

I opened my eyes, and beneath my hooves was a smoldering crater I had created. None of the Changeling who inhabited my landing site still occupied this ground. They had been blown back by the blast I had sent out, just like in the cave. I saw the lines of Changelings all around me. Many of them were strewn about on the earthy ground covered in crystalline minerals. Some of them got back to their feet. I knew Shining and his soldiers were somewhere behind me.

The battlefield had frozen upon my arrival. The Changelings hesitated to advance on me. They looked unsure of what to do next. An unfortunately familiar red mane Changeling stepped forward. If you could even call it a mane. It looked more like a frazzled toothbrush.

“Changelings!” My voice rang the loudest I had yet heard it. “Go back to your hive, and tell your Queen that the Crystal Empire will remain free of her tyranny.”

My heart raced as I hoped my throat wouldn't give out.

“You can’t give orders to me, Princess.” Pharanx's teeth bared as his lip snarled. “I give the orders now!”

“It wasn't an order. It was a threat.” I glared at Pharynx, holding his hateful gaze. My wings felt on fire from all the intense flying. I had cast so much magic, I was sure a young unicorn foal could beat me in a magic duel at the moment. I could barely stand. All of my strength was engaged in keeping my knees from buckling.

“Changelings!” Pharynx's booming raspy voice commanded. If my bluff didn't work… Well, I didn't want to think about that at the moment.

“Withdrawal.” He said with less gusto, giving me one last narrow eyed once over. Checking for any weakness or tell in my face and posture. I thought about Chrysalis, and what these Changelings would do to my people if we didn't stop them. My teeth gritted at the thought.

The Changelings lifted themselves off the ground, as the soft reverberating hum of their collective wings echoed in the air. They flew off in neat orderly ranks. They certainly didn't look beaten or routed, but away they flew all the same.

Once the last of their regiments and companies were on their way, Pharynx spit on the ground, and flew off himself. I waited until his back was to me. Until he was a diminishing speck on the horizon before I collapsed onto my flank, throwing my head back to look at the heavens.

I breathed the first sigh of relief I'd felt since I learned Flash had been taken. Since my date with Shining wasn't even allowed to start.

“Cadance!” Shining had a few superficial wounds and was covered in dirt. But I didn’t care. He crested the hill with the setting sunlight streaming behind him, making his white coat glow. He looked downright ethereal. I let myself gawk as he approached. He rushed over and gently grabbed my shoulders.

“Are you hurt? What on Celestia's green earth were you think-?”

I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and yanked his lips onto mine. He jolted with shock, but didn't fight me. Relaxing his posture down to my height and kissing me back. Every inch of my body ached as I tasted him. I relished him, drawing out the moment with my lingering touch. I felt his jaw relax as he kissed me back, leaning into the tenderness as he caressed the back of my head. His touch was as gentle as it was longing. A hunger he held inside all this time was being fed at last. His hooves greedily wrapped around my back, taking me, claiming me as his. If only no one else was around…

At last I broke away and to stare into his eyes, I rubbed the side of his perfectly square jaw. He closed his eyes, leaning into it as my hoof squished his cheek. He placed his hoof on mine, guiding it to his chest, and kissed me one more time.

“What was that?” He asked.

“I think most would call it a kiss.” I smiled softly.

He flushed slightly. “No, I mean, yes. I mean, I know it was a kiss. And it was a great kiss. No complaints. I just meant, oh boy. What was it for? That kiss. That kiss we did just now.”

My smile widened. Apparently, I kissed him into a state of complete shock and rambling. It was adorable.

“Who says only Princes can initiate kisses? I think Princesses can too.”

His own lips upturned into a grin that turned his masculine face almost boyish. He ducked his head in an ‘aww shucks’ kind of manner. His inner nerd coming out and acting all shy and flabbergasted by a kiss from a cute girl. Good grief, this wasn’t an act. This was him. I wanted to flutter my eyelashes and giggle in response - somehow, I held it in.

“What are you doing here?” He cleared his throat and tried to sound harsh and tough again, but his goofy grin gave him away.

“I came to save you, my king.” I leaned my head forward, resting my horn against his. I could feel the residual heat from all the spells we had cast.

“King?” His eyes lit up as he thought about it. I don’t know why I said that. It just sounded better to me.

“They call it a ‘Kingdom’ do they not?” I smirked at him. He pursed his lips, scrunching his nose and muzzle. He looked so cute and kissable like that.

“It does have a nice ring to it.” His wistful grin evaporated as he focused on me. “Why didn’t you escape with Flash? I gave him explicit orders to-”

“I made my own orders.”

“You can’t do that.”

“And why not?”

“Orders are orders. You cannot disobey them.”

“Disobey? What, are you going to put me in a time-out?”

“Cadance, this is serious.”

My anger rose through the exhaustion of battle. It flowed like tiny rivers in the top and sides of my brain, blurring my vision slightly as my teeth gritted. I took a slow breath, making sure I spoke softly and calmly. Containing my anger.

“I told you-”

“Nopony can tell you what to do, I know.” Shining interrupted me. “But it’s not just about you. We have rules and command structures in place. We had to ensure that at least one of the Crystal Empire royals made it back to the capital. Nopony is above the rules. Not me. Not you.”

He glared back at me. The tilt of his brow hit me hard, with an expression I had never seen him point at me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to argue. I saved him, for goodness sake! And he thanked me with a lecture.

I opened my mouth to argue. I had words ready to fly out. I was prepared to fight about it right here and now. But those seconds gave me pause.

He was right. Crap.

“I’m sorry.” I looked into his beautiful blue eyes. I watched them soften as the apology flowed out of me instead. “I couldn’t leave you there. They had you surrounded and I…” My words caught in my throat.

“We had it handled.” He reached his other hoof out to me, and I grabbed it.

“I’m not saying you couldn’t.” He tugged both of my arms, helping me back up to my shaky legs. “I just needed to make sure.”

“That wasn’t your call to make this time.”

“When is it my call to make?” I scanned the area, looking at all our soldiers in the crystal valley, and on the forested plateau.

“When the situation calls for it.” He said. Most of the soldiers were trying to look like they weren’t paying attention to us, as they attended to our wounded, and secured the area. Did they agree with Shining? Were they judging me? Were they thankful that I came back?

“So, basically, when you say that I can make a decision...” I heard my voice get harsher than I wanted it to. Why was it so hard to control my temper?

“That’s not true.” He sighed, and rubbed his forehead. “Look, there’s no easy way to say this…” He paused, leaving the words hanging.

“Well, don’t stop now. Go on.” I gestured at him with my hoof, raising my eyebrows, and glaring at him. I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

“Cadance, you’re a great Princess or…” his left eye twitched. “You were. When you had your memories. Without them, you’re basically new at this…”

“And?” My voice wavered. I was out of anger, and too drained to feel anything else. I was a cold dark crystal core that he was shattering.

“And, please don’t be mad, but I don’t think you’re qualified to make some of these tough decisions, in your current condition.” He winced, probably expecting me to go off on him.

But he was right. Again. I couldn’t argue with him anymore. There weren’t small pieces of myself missing. Entire chunks were gone. I was a stranger in my own body. Propelled forward by determination that, maybe, one day my memories would return. A blind hope. But that determination was weakening. Nearly breaking me.

“I’m a fraud.” I barely heard myself speak it. “I’m weak.”

“That’s not true!” Shining shouted. All of the nearby soldiers were staring at us. There was no pretense anymore. “Your condition is temporary.”

No use hiding it now. Even our enemies knew my condition. He kept telling me it was only for now. That my memories would come back. In vain I tried to dig into my mind, and recover something. Any memory would do. A meal. A day at school. A formal ball. A night of ravenous sex. Anything at all, if only I could find it in there somewhere. The fog in my brain thickened the harder I tried to find it. Digging through my head felt like I was bruising my temples. As if I was cutting into an open wound. There was nothing in there, and at this point, I was sure there would never be anything.

I’m a fraud.

“Shining.” Flash had walked over to us at some point. They started talking, but I could hardly focus on what they were saying.

“What is it, Captain?”

I had tried to convince myself by acting the part of a Princess.

“Is the attitude really necessary, sir? Are you planning to give me a dressing down like you did to Princess Cadance?”

I dressed the part. I spoke with authority. I met with advisors, and went to meetings, but Shining was the one holding the conversations. He had the knowledge and experience, while I just tagged along.

“Are you trying to tell me how to speak to my wife?”

“I’m trying to figure out logistics so we can get back to the capital before the Changelings regroup.”

I tried to go to war to fight for my ponies. I thought if I was brave enough I could make a difference. I had some magic. I wasn’t useless. Yet, I was a fool. A child playing pretend, and being humored by her peers.

“Watch your tone, soldier. The reason we’re out here at all was to save your sorry butt.”

Shining may have loved me, but did he respect me? Did I wake up in a Stallion’s world? Was I merely a figurehead to play Princess dress up while my husband ran the Kingdom? Had it always been like this? What more did I not remember?

“And I bet that tears you apart inside, doesn’t it?”

“What is that supposed to mean, soldier?”

I felt the eyes of all the soldiers on me. Did any of them respect me? Was everyone just playing along, and I was just too privileged and important to be told the truth? A soft, fragile Princess. Was this the first time I’d ever stepped foot on a battlefield before now? Was the silver spoon shoved so far up my ass that I hardly felt it up in my ivory tower?

“The only reason you went through with this operation where you, once again, risked the lives of both heads of state, was because Twilight guilted you into doing it.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You lost your chance to be rid of me forever. To keep me away from Twilight!”

Cadance was important, powerful, and worthy of respect. There were monuments to her greatness. A crystal that fed her magic. But if I couldn’t remember my greatness, was it even mine? What was I? A cute distraction for Shining Armor. A reminder to everyone of what they lost. I was paraded around like a living monument to what their real Princess used to be.

“As irritating as you are to me, I can’t stop Twilight from dating you.”

“Oh come on, we both know you've been trying to sabotage our relationship since day one.”

Was I supposed to just carry on being a pretty puppet? Just nod and smile as Shining and others made all the real decisions? Do I have no voice? No authority?

“What relationship? You two aren’t even together.”

“Yeah, thanks to you.”

“Is that what you think?”

Then when Princess Celestia calls on us, we’ll both smile and nod for her. The true ruler of the Crystal Empire. I was a puppet on a string held by a puppet on a string.

“Yeah that’s what I think!”

“You really think I’m the reason you and Twilight haven’t even gone on a real date?”

“Y-yes… You hate me because I’m not good enough for your baby sister. You won’t let her grow up, and you see me as a threat.”

Who knew if we’d even get another chance to bow to Celestia. The Changeling’s might turn us into soulless zombies first. That might be the only thing I remember: how I failed.

“Flash… I think you’re an amazing match for Twilight.”

“...Wait what?”

Tell your Queen that the Crystal Empire will remain free of her tyranny. I had said that to the Changelings, but my words were as empty as my threat. I couldn’t even free myself. Free the hold my mind had on itself. How could I possibly free the Crystal Empire? How could I stop a war from happening?

“You’re the bravest stallion I’ve ever met, but in this one regard, you’re a coward. You act like you’re into Twilight, but you keep dragging your hooves. You’re leading her on without committing!”

“T-that’s not true I-”

“Do you know how many times I’ve had to comfort her because she was left crying? Crying because you said something cryptic or dodged her question when she tried to take the next step with you.”

“I didn’t-”

“That’s right, ‘you didn’t.’ If you love somepony, tell them. Don't string them along for months and months to the point where they think they did something wrong. That something is wrong with them. Either tell Twilight you love her, or get the hell out of her life!”

I couldn’t take it anymore. The eyes. The staring. The yelling. Were they focusing on Shining and Flash now? Probably, but I still felt their judgment. Watch as the royals bicker amongst themselves. Free entertainment, right? I must look so ridiculous to them.

Frustrated tears stung my eyes. I needed to talk to Pell. She was the only one who understood me. The not Cadence me. The real me. The only me that was left. Cadance wasn't coming back.

I opened my wings and thrusted them at the ground, launching myself into the sky once more. The daylight was fading behind me as I soared my way back to the capital. The spire of the Crystal Castle glowed way off in the distance. At the peak of that castle was the Crystal Heart. The ultimate evidence of my fraud. My deception. I flew up into the sky until I was cruising through the low stratus clouds, adding my tears to them as if they were the rain.

****

Author's Note:

Best song to pair with this chapter:

ThatMusicBrony - Let Me Love You

Comments

[Wooden Wheel]

My mind w“To spy on us, and replace us.

andered to the legend that Pell told me.

It seems there was a mistake with the cut and paste here.

This was him.I wanted to flutter my eyelashes

Missing a space after the period.

I was a puppet on a string held by a puppet on a string.

I was a puppet held by a string.

---

I like that even though Thorax has more backbone here it is not at the expense of his soft spirit. On the other hand, here Pharynx is kind of an idiot, showing himself to be a brute without an ounce of military intelligence, unfit to be in any position of command or rulership.

Shining may have loved me, but did he respect me? Did I wake up in a Stallion’s world? Was I merely a figurehead to play Princess dress up while my husband ran the Kingdom? Had it always been like this? What more did I not remember?

This line and what follows it hits hard. It reminds me of the original speech they wrote for her.Was that speech something the OG Cadence of this story would be happy to say?

If yes, then she is (or was) what she is describing about herself:

A pretty puppet that is meant to Just nod and smile as Shining and others made all the real decisions, without a voice, nor authority.

If not, then her feelings about how others have no respect for her are correct.

IMHO, whatever the case, this new Cadence needs to get the hell out of there. Shining may love her, but she is not being respected, and love without respect is possessiveness.

[Mani-Roar]

11871464
Thank you for pointing those out. A paragraph got chopped up and split apart between two pieces of dialogue. I'm so sorry, that section was unreadable and made no sense. Something in the transfer from my google doc to the site messed up. It is fixed now if you want to see how it was supposed to read.

"I was a puppet on a string held by a puppet on a string." That line is supposed to be that way. She's saying she is a puppet on a string controlled by Shining who is Celestia's puppet on a string.

****

I'm glad Thorax's character is coming across well. Cadance is for sure in an awkward spot. Something will for sure need to change, but what will that something be?