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Have you ever woken up somewhere you don't recognize? I have, once before. This time was not all that different. Headache? Check. Dry mouth? Check. Upset stomach? Check. Hooves? Uhm, that one is new.

Hi, I'm Bruce and I'm 32. Currently, I'm in a light blue Earth Pony foal's body no one has ever seen before. The rest of Equestria thinks I'm 9 and something really traumatic happened to me. It doesn't help I swear like a sailor and I could really go for a smoke right about now. I just hope that the Everfree Forest, rampaging monstrosities, evil dark abominations against God and the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't kill me before I have just one last drag.

Oh, and ponies are hella creepy when you really think about it. Geez.


A little comedy side project. EDIT: HAHA Main project. More characters to be added if I get that far. Categories might be refined as I write. Entire thing is unplanned except vaguely. Don't Expect excessive cursing to be written out, just hinted at. Oh, and as the character is a 30-ish year old in the body of a 9 year old, sexual jokes might exists but sex itself will not occur.

Special thanks to user Momomojito for the awesome-tastic picture! First fanart, I'm so HAPPY. I've gotten more since then! I should collect it all here. Collected!

Chapters (43)
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*With a heavy heart, I must declare this story cancelled. Though it lacks a true ending, I encourage each and every one of you to make your own. May your vision create something even grander than my own. -Derply*
After the events of Twilight's Kingdom, vegetation across Ponyville has been thrown into disarray thanks to Twilight's new unintentional death castle. But while some plants have been sucked dry, others have flourished, such as the infamous Poison Joke.

Enter Big Mac; a stallion of few words whose about to get a few dozen more whether he, or anypony else, likes it or not.

(WARNING: While it gets silly at times, this fic borderlines between needing and not needing the tragedy tag. Contains character deconstructions that may upset people.)

Editor: Thardoc, and help from TwelveFoot as well!

Chapters (16)
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The Elements of Harmony are defeated and Nightmare Moon stands on Equestria's throne as their new Queen. Is Equestria doomed to suffer through night time eternal or will they be... perfectly fine? Twilight finds her new job as slave or "personal assistant" to her new ruler to be a bit maddening. But is this evil sarcastic queen really as bad as she originally believed? And just how many others are diabolical enough to cash in on the change in staff? Can Nightmare truly run a peaceful Equestria? Let me just answer all these questions right here in the description...

Chapters (7)
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When Gaberdine is awarded a noble title by Princess Celestia, he soon finds out that his new lands contain several surprises. For starters, there is no land in his new barony. Secondly, his new castle turns out to be a broken-down riverboat. And third is… seaponies.

Baron Gaberdine has a lot to learn about his new barony. And himself.

Fortunately, he has a very young teacher.

Now with a sea-quill (sorry) Drifting Down the Lazy River

Cover photo by PhoenixSwift
Editing/Pre-Reading assistance by Tek, Shaleclaw, Peter, Seether00, Monsieur Connoisseur, GhostOfHeraclitus, The Masked Ferret, Blue Paladin42 and Admiral Biscuit

Note: Unlike The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian, this is a single POV love story, like Changelings, Love and Lollipops. Only with fewer cannons and fountains.
Now Featured on Equestria Daily
With a YouTube Reading of the first chapter by BigAsh
And with a dramatic reading by Neighrator Pony and company Full playlist here.
Thanks for a wonderful review by Paul Asaran
Available in paperback through Lulu.com at cost.

Chapters (8)
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On the Density of Alicorn Skulls: A sharp blow to the head can do odd things to one's personality. This is particularly problematic if the victim in question is a widely respected leader of her people.
On the Classification of Divinity: In some other worlds where magic exists, the inhabitants have attempted to quantify the different levels of godhood. Unfortunately, it is not a perfect system, and the Princesses have never been ones to flaunt their absurd levels of power.


This is a series of unrelated one-shots focused around Celestia, who remains one of my favourite ponies. It's marked completed, since there won't be a continuing narrative going between all of the shorts. It will continue to see updates though, since I have plenty more ideas for the Princess!

Now available in Spanish!

Chapters (2)
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Dusk Shine has dealt with many trails throughout his life. From clashing with Nightterror Nebula to outwitting the mischievous Eris to thwarting King Nymphamos’s invasion, he'd seen it all.

All in all, Dusk Shine would admit that life was hardly easy. And now, Dusk finds that his mentor's self loathing is the least of his problems as he finds himself thrust into a world where he and his friend... are mares?

edited by Saylux and OverlordCornutt

Chapters (5)
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It was an average morning in Ponyville. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the changeling was swimming in the pool.... wait what?


This story is written by me and Limescale.
You can find his page here
Front page at 1/21/2017. Thanks guys for making it possible!

As of 11/27/2023, the story now has an audio reading. Check it out! https://youtu.be/iYjTMNmnfSk

Chapters (2)
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In the first days of attempting to establish the foundation of a new nation's currency, a pair of rookie rulers decided to back Equestria's economy with the greatest offering they could make to the world: the promise of their own labor. And it worked -- but there was a certain problem with the way that promise had been made, and so the original currency was eventually recalled. But the sisters never got all of it. And legally, that promise is still good.

Whether Celestia likes it or not.


(A stand-alone, no prior-reading-necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome. )

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Chapters (1)
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Chrysalis kidnapped a dozen ponies, threatened Equestria, was betrayed by her own kind, and has now vowed vengeance on Starlight Glimmer before leaping from the ruins of her castle and flying off. She is definitely going to get away.

Absolutely.

Yep.


Reading by TheCaptainSand - Scarlett Blade

Translated into Spanish by ZodiacalComet

Chapters (1)
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Starlight returns from the marketplace to come across two sworn foes calmly sharing tea, much to her confusion.

Much to her confusion.

Chapters (1)