On Her Majesty's Dragonish Service

by DinoDenver

Chapter 4

Rays of morning sun were piercing curtains, trying to illuminate particular small cabin of certain enormous airship. This meant that its maiden voyage was soon going to an end.

Spike puffed his cigarette. It was going to be another day of hard work, and this time most likely properly hard. Not drink-all-the-alcohol-and-end-up-with-beautiful-mare-for-the-night kind of hard.

But that could wait.

He stroked Charming's beautiful red mane and looked at her. She was sleeping peacefully with head on his torso, Spike felt her calm, rhythmic breath. He admired her beauty for several more moments.

"I guess everypony has a story..." He said to himself and let out a sight before taking another drag on his cigarette.

And this red-maned yellow earth pony had one hell of a story.

It required guts and serious deficiency in brain department to steal money from mafia. Stalliongrad's mafia was particularly bad choice. And Vengeful Fortune was probably the most cruel one of all the Stalliongrad's dons - definitely not the one to let something like this slip.

No wonder she was grateful to the Doctor, if he helped her in such situation. But this meant that this mysterious Doctor was not only rich, but also influential. Someone respected in the underground world. Or feared, which basically meant the same thing.

"No use in thinking about it now." He thought to himself and finished his cigarette before closing his eyes and trying to catch some more z's.

***

Sounds of fireworks and cheering crowd interrupted Spike's, not long enough anyway, sleep. This could mean only one thing - they arrived in Manehattan.

"We should get going." Spike said to Charming when she opened her eyes.

"Just five more minutes..." Her sleepy, little absent voice was clear evidence, that Spike wasn't the only one that got not enough sleep.

***

Spike was going downstairs, Red maned mare was closely behind him.

They were the only ones around. One could find it weird, that no one else was getting off from this huge passenger airship. Spike didn't. He had this weird hunch it was somewhat related to Charming's forty minutes long visit in bathroom. What mares do in bathrooms for such long periods of time is one of the greatest mysteries of ponykind. Or at least for the male part of the society.

"Damn it, I'd kill for 3 more hours of sleep." Spike thought to himself when they reached the ground. A long yawn followed that though. "Or minutes."

"I think that's our carriage." Charming spoke from behind.

Spike looked. Indeed, there was carriage waiting. Black, with dark windows, about ten meters long and harnessed by six stallions. That's some rich bastard for you. But he didn't waste time speculating Doctor's financial situation, he needed to follow in yellow mare's hoofsteps.

They quickly approached the carriage, because apparently Charming was in hurry all of sudden. Spike almost had to run. In tuxedo. And he doesn't like running in tuxedo. Not classy.

"Good morning, miss Risk. How was the flight?" Asked one of the stallions.

"Is that our guest?" Another one asked without waiting for answer to the first question.

"Good morning, guys! Flight was good, thank you, and yes, this is our guest. Mister Spike The Dragon."

"Good morning, sir." All six of them greeted Spike and nodded. Add their almost identical looks and you have definition of creepy right there.

"Morning." Answered Spike while squinting his eyes. This sun is killing me, how come we don't have sunglasses in our equipment?

But there was no use in thinking about that, because one of the stallions already opened door for Charming and him. He also helped Charming get in. Spike followed her and soon they were sitting in really luxurious carriage.

They were surrounded by expensive materials: several kinds of wood, mostly ebony, gems, silk. If it was fancy and expensive there was a good chance you would find it in this carriage. But the first thing Spike noticed was a liquor cabinet.

"Now this is what I'm talking about!" He said with a much brighter look on his face. "Do you think Doctor won't mind?"

"Please, feel free. It is guests' carriage after all." Replied Charming.

"Want me to mix you something?" Spike asked when he started to look through the bottles, looking for the one to make his day more bearable.

"I'm good, thank you."

But Spike's quest wasn't easy, as content of this liquor cabinet was contrasting with splendor of the carriage. There wasn't even single bottle of booze, that could be considered as a good one (by Spike's standards), and even considering these with questionable quality (again, by Spike's standards) there wasn't much of a choice either. After long contemplation Spike decided, that glass of Johnny Trotter was his best bet. Even though he didn't really like whiskey.

Spike left the liquor cabinet, or rather cabinet of disappointment, alone and sat opposite Charming. He took a sip out of his glass, it reminded him why he doesn't really like whiskey.

Conversation with Charming wasn't an option either - she has already fallen asleep.

"This is going to be a very long journey." Spike said to himself.

He looked at his glass with amber liquor inside. To his surprise it was starting to slide out from his hand and he wasn't able to do much about it.

Then the scent of whiskey gave way to another one, one that Spike knew was trouble.

The sweet scent of chloroform.

Crystal glass broke on the floor of carriage as Spike lost his consciousness.

***

Spike woke up in new, alien reality. In harsh reality, where his glass of whiskey was gone and there was nothing to replace it.

Also he was chained to the wall and could barely move.

He looked around. The room was rather spacious: about 20 meters wide square, at least 3 meters from floor to the ceiling. It was almost completely empty, apart from torches that were trying to compensate for the lack of windows. It felt more like a cave than a room.

Judging from the cold walls made from solid stone this was probably the case.

Spike looked at the chains. Pretty solid ones indeed. He tried to tear them out, but with no success. It wouldn't be a problem of course if he could melt them with his fire breath. But metal collar was pretty much blocking his throat. It was hard to just breath, breathing fire was out of question. Someone did his homework properly.

Then Spike realized, that someone else was in this room, or rather was still in this room, as he was leaving. "Could you bring me glass of Lunar Shine?! I could really use a glass of Lunar Shine right about now!"

But leaving pony, apparently Spike's guard, ignored his mocking and disappeared in the doorway without a word.

"Great." Spike's situation wasn't looking bright. Captured, defenseless, no way to escape for now. They will probably try to torture things out from him. Upcoming hours were going to be unpleasant.

That's when another figure appeared in doorway. A figure that quickly approached Spike.

White unicorn with white mane. His cutie mark appeared to be an empty flask. His whiteness was already disturbing, and red eye color wasn't really helping. Using his head as a means of transport for his cat didn't either. And his cat was also white. White persian.

Spike wondered, who would turn more heads on crowded Canterlot promenade: he or this fine individual.

Unicorn stopped about three meters in front of Spike. His cat got up and started to rub against his horn.

"Well, well, well... What an honor!" His cat was still rubbing against his horn. "Spike The Dragon, codename 'S'. One of the elite 'one letter' Celestia's secret agents, arguably the best one in entire Equestria's secret service. The one assigned to protect the apple of the eye of our beloved princess herself..." Cat was circling around his horn, few times even stepping on his eyeball. But it didn't seem to affect him. "I didn't expect Celestia to gave me such credit... Good thing I fried this stupid nephew of hers."

"This just can't be a bad person."

"If it wasn't for your thing for mares and weakness for alcohol you would be perfect agent, mister The Dragon." Cat on his head was now big, fluffy ball of static electricity, and with every rub was getting more and more powerful.

"What a dickhead."

"But this doesn't really matter now, mister The Dragon. You're probably wondering why." He started walking in circle. "I'm sure you wonder why. But fret not, I'll tell you why."

"Boss!" Brown stallion galloped into the room and quickly approached Doctor. "We don't have much time before SHIT!" He was interrupted by rather big static electricity discharge. And then his scorched face was attacked by a cat.

It took few seconds, but the cat finally stopped his furious assault and returned to his owners head, where it began cleaning its now not so white fur.

"What was that you were saying?" Doctor asked, now rather miserable looking, brown stallion.

"Eruption..." Painful grimace was showing how much his scratched face really hurts.

"Eruption what?"

"Soon..."

"Ah, right." Doctor left his subordinate to lie on the floor and faced Spike again. "So where was I...?"

"It seems that you know much about me, but I'm afraid I don't know much about you." Spike took advantage of the pause. "So what about telling me your name for starters?"

A smirk appeared on Doctor's face. "Nope."

Since when villains are not idiots anymore? This will make Spike's work much more difficult.

"Doctor Nope." White unicorn added after dramatic pause.

Well, looks like everything is normal in the land of Equestria.

"So, Doctor Nope, you were about to tell me something?"

"I was indeed, mister Spike." Doctor was about to continue but he was interrupted again. This time by a small earthquake. But it really didn't bother him too much, when last pieces of debris fell to the ground he started again. "So as I suspected, you are curious as to why your supreme skills won't matter?" He looked at Spike, anticipation all over his face.

Spike raised his left eyebrow. "...Why won't my supreme skills matter?"

"Because you'll DIE!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!" Doctor broke out in maniacal laughter. His cat had to grab onto his horn not to fall down. After few seconds the unicorn stopped and cat could carry on with cleaning his fur. "You don't seem to be surprised, mister The Dragon."

"I must admit, I kind of saw that coming." Answered Spike.

"Oh..." This clearly saddened Doctor. He looked on the ground and kicked some debries with his front leg.

"But I'm sure you've prepared some special way to kill me." Spike comforted him. Villains have tendency to kill their foes in fancy ways. These are great opportunities to escape, most of the time.

"That's right!" Smirk appeared on Nope's face again. "I bet you don't know how I'll kill you!"

"I don't." Agreed Spike.

"It took me a while. I was thinking about acid bath, but it is so last year. Some time later I've read this article about lasers in 'Villain's Journal', but I know I can do so much better than just cutting somepody in half with laser!" Doctor was speaking with such passion, that one could clearly see that he takes his job very seriously. "So I kept looking... and then - it hit me! Of course, it wasn't easy. I had to plan this carefully, build this whole facility here. Even then, I thought it will all be in vain, but I managed to pull few strings, so some ponies 'forgotten' abut rain in Ponyville, thus creating need for a downpour. Perfect for my main plan."

"Ponyville? So he's most likely after Twilight after all... The question is how much does he know...?

"Everything was finally going smoothly. That is until Blueblood showed up." Angry grimace appeared on Doctor's face. "Kill Blueblood? Celestia is sending him on suicide missions whenever she has opportunity to!... I wouldn't do her such a favor, not in a thousand years!" Now he presented to Spike new expression - evilish grin. "But lucky me, after I've got rid of that crock you've showed up. And just in time to experience my masterpiece."

In that moment another pony galloped into the room. Gray earth pony looked rather stressed out. "Boss! We need to go! Volcano is going to erupt soon!"

Doctor's grin faded. He didn't turn around to face his subordinate, instead he kicked him in face with hind leg. Hard. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT! YOU'VE SPOILED EVERYTHING!" Doctor was breathing heavily. "I was just going to tell him about volcano!"

"Aah sohhy, poss." Hard kicks to the face can severely affect diction.

"Volcano?" Spike couldn't believe what he heard.

"Ahh, yes, YES!" Doctor was quickly transitioning from maniacal anger to maniacal joy. Or just being a maniac, which he enjoyed. Very much. "Freaking VOLCANO! I bet you didn't expect that! I've built this facility in a volcano that is going to erupt today! Everything you see will be flooded by lava! You'll die burned to ashes by magma!" After that he enjoyed himself some more in maniacal laughter.

Spike was pretty shocked. He had to agree - this was much more than most villains would do to kill him. And he couldn't bring himself to tell this pony in front of him, that dragons can pretty much swim in lava and this isn't best approach to kill him. It would break Doctor's heart.

And of course it would ruin his chances to have an easy escape.

"Well, looks like I'm doomed." Said Spike. Doctor almost started to jump around in joy.

"Yes, yes you are!"

"But what are you planning to do in Ponyville? Villain of your caliber should attack some big metropolis, not a small village like that." Spike noticed that flattery seemed to be working good on this one.

"I'm not interested in attacking Ponyville, I just want to kill Twilight Sparkle. Just think about it, this bitch Celestia will be furious, if I kill her precious, little pupil." Looked like simply thinking about it droved him into state of ecstasy.

"You do realize, that this is not going to happen?"

"And why is that?" Doctor even stopped smiling.

"Like you've said, Twilight Sparkle is Princess Celestia's pupil as well as a bearer of one of the Elements of Harmony." Spike kept the 'future princess' part to himself. After all there is a chance that Doctor Nope doesn't know about this little fact, and the less he knows the better. "When you sum these up you don't have to be good in mathematics to..."

"I'm good in math!" Doctor burst out, most likely offended by mere suggestion.

"But you don't have to be, to know that she is one of the most protected ponies in Equestria."

Doctor grinned again. "But you are no longer by her side."

"While that is certainly true, there will be plenty of other agents to stop you. You must be mad if you think that you will be able to get close to her."

Doctor just laughed out loud. "You really think, that I want to get close to her? Then it is you who must be mad! Ha!" Doctor paused for a moment. "You must be curious why?"

Spike haven't said a word. Which was enough of an answer for doctor.

"It is because I can kill her FROM DISTANCE! Do you think I approach Blueblood? I would NOT make such sacrifice."

"Makes sense." Avoiding Blueblood was something that Spike could familiarize with. "How then?"

"With lightning, duh!"

Spike knew, there was one flaw with this plan. But he didn't intended on sharing it with his host.

"And don't worry, some magical lighting rod won't be a problem."

Or maybe there wasn't one. "But I wonder... How are you able to control lightning bolts?" Asked Spike.

Doctor's eyes lit up. "Let me show you!" Six other ponies entered the room. It was getting pretty crowdy in there. "Perfect timing guys! Bring the lightning-bolt-inator here!" Doctor ordered before any of them could speak.

"But we need to go now boss..." This tough looking stallion wasn't even trying to hide his fear. Which made Doctor pretty angry.

"The sooner you bring the lighting-bolt-inator here, the sooner we will go." Silent nods were the only answer. "You there, help them."

Stallions, one by one left the room. One of them had some problems, but even he managed to. With that the only ones left in the room were Spike and Doctor. And a cat that was not amused all of sudden.

"Oh, what is it Void? Are you hungry?" Doctor asked. He must have taken cat's total lack of response as an answer. "Don't worry, daddy will get you something to eat..."

With that Spike was left alone in the room.

***

"Careful, you idiot! It is a delicate equipment!" Doctor hit one of his subordinates.

"S-sorry, boss!" Gray stallion barely maintained his balance.

"Put it here, here!" He ordered. Moments later peculiar looking machine was placed before him. It was resembling piano, but there was no piano keyboard. Instead there were many switches and levers on the whole front side of this thing. "Feast your eyes on this beauty! This switch is for controlling..."

"I can't see anything when it's this far away." Spike interrupted Doctor.

"Why did you put it so far away from our guest, you imbeciles!" Doctor scolded his subordinates. "You heard him, he can't see anything!"

Without a word Doctor's subordinates moved the machine closer to Spike. It was now about ten meters away.

"Is this OK?" Asked Doctor.

"Little closer." Answered Spike.

Seven meters.

"Now?"

"Just a little closer."

5 meters away.

"How about now?" Asked Doctor.

Spike knew this might be his best chance. He focused as hard as he could, inhaled and used his fire breath. Pain in his throat was almost unbearable, but that was not important. Green flames shoot out from his mouth and lighting-bolt-inator was destroyed instantly.

Spike coughed up some blood. But it was worth it. "That's close enough, thank you."

In that moment two spells hit Spike. He was defenseless, if it wasn't for his dragon skin he would be dead already. But thanks to his thick scales this just hurt as hell.

Good thing it stopped quickly.

"What do you think are doing, you idiots!" Yelled Doctor. Spike opened his eyes and saw Doctor's subordinates looking at their leader with fear in their eyes. Some of them were knocked down. "You almost ruined everything! He must die in volcano eruption, you imbeciles!" Doctor have been breathing heavily for few moments, then turned to Spike. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think I'll live long enough for volcano to kill me."

"That's a relief. Sadly, I cannot show you how lighting-bolt-inator works, now that you destroyed it."

"I'm sorry about that." He wasn't. "I coughed, it happens sometimes. Looks like you'll have to kill Twilight some other time."

"Oh, don't worry I'll just take the spare inator."

Spike jaw dropped.

"Waaait... that was the spare one, the first one is broken..." Doctor said to himself. "Well, whatever, I'll take the third one."

"What the..." Spike's jaw was still hanging low. Just who is this mad pony?

"Anyway, mister Spike, I shall take my leave. Please, make sure to die in magma. Farewell." With that Doctor nodded and left the room, his subordinates followed him.

And Spike just looked at the door. This is probably the maddest foe he ever faced. And sadly, it looks like there is a method in his madness.

***

The room has shaken again. Some debris fell to the floor.

Spike opened his eyes and looked around. Nothing has changed since the last time his nap was interrupted.

He didn't know how many hours did pass since Doctor Nope left with his subordinates. Probably few hours.

He was getting hungry. Even worse - he noticed hunger, even with his whole body hurting. Time was definitely working against him.

"I wouldn't mind, if this freaking volcano erupted already..." He thought to himself, before closing his eyes again.

***

"Spike! Wake up!"

"Five more minutes, Twi..." His chains were too comfy to just wake up right away.

"We need to run, Spike!"

With a click of the lock Spike's hand was free. This was enough to wake him up totally.

"What are you doing here, Charming?! Volcano is going to blow soon!"

"I'm rescuing you, thanks for asking." Spike's collar was opened and with that burst of green flame was enough to release his second hand.

It wasn't most graceful landing he ever performed, but at least he didn't landed on his face. "You shouldn't have come back, this is dangerous!"

"And that is why I should have let you die here? Besides this volcano haven't erupted for such a long time, why would it..."

"STOP TALKING!" Spike interrupted her, but shaking of the ground and sounds of rumbling were clear sign: it was already too late. "You ponies know so little about life..."

Charming didn't answer that, she just placed Spike on her back and started to run.

***

Spike had to admit, Charming's knowledge of Doctor's hideout was really helpful. Swimming in the lava through those corridors without even knowing where to go would be a pain. On the other hand now they had to outrun said lava, which, also, was kind of a pain.

He was massaging his throat. Burning down lighting-bolt-inator was rather painful, as were the spells Spike was hit with afterwards. But for now Spike knew, that he needs his fire breath as soon as possible. After all for dragons their fire is the source of their magic. And it looked like some magic might come in handy pretty damn soon.

***

Charming jumped to the left to avoid the boulder that fell to the floor.

She stopped, breathing heavily. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

The way was blocked.

Spike jumped off from her back and looked around. His throat was still hurting a little, but there was no time left.

"Hide behind that boulder and lie low." He commanded Charming and went onwards few steps.

He looked at the place where wall meets with ceiling. Somewhere up there must be surface. Or at least should be. He decided that. So there was only one thing left to do.

Spike took a deep breath. "Here goes!" He thought before breathing out fire.

Thanks to his magic wall gave in quickly, vaporizing under the tongues of green flames.

After few seconds Spike fell on one of his knees, he even had to support himself with one hand. It sure was exhausting, but Luna's moon visible through the hole was the proof of his success. Moon?

Time sure flies by when you have fun.

"What...? How...?" Charming looked rather puzzled.

Spike wanted to say something, but at the end of corridor he saw the lava approaching.

Time was running out.

There was no way for Charming to run up through the hole. It was far too steep, and also far too hot.

Spike took out his sword and shrank it down. Now it resembled letter opener more than a weapon. Spike gave it to Charming. "Could you please take care of this for me? Send it to Ponyville later."

"What? Why?"

But Spike wasn't going to waste time explaining. Instead he took another breath and breathed out fire at Charming.

She gasped, and closed her eyes.

After moment she gathered enough courage to open her eyes. She looked surprised to not be burned to ashes. Instead she was surrounded by weird looking, greenish bubble.

"This should be enough to protect you from the fall." Spike was breathing heavily.

"Protect me from what?!"

Lava was now really close. "I hope we'll see each other again, miss Charming Risk. It was pleasure to meet you." He kissed her hoof.

And before she had time to reply he grabbed her, took a swing and threw her through the hole.

"SPIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!"

He just smiled to himself. "That was smooth."

Lava hit him pretty hard. He instantly lost his footing and fell down, hitting his head in the process.

Everything was spinning round, partially from the hit to his head and exhaustion, partially because lava's current was literally spinning his body.

Then his back hit the rubble that was blocking their path earlier. It helped with spinning, but added to hurting head.

"That must've ruined my tuxedo." In fact there was none of that left. These things are surprisingly flammable in contact with magma. "No time to feel sorry for yourself, Spike! He thought to himself. He had to get back to that hole if he wanted to get out of this alive.

Strong current wasn't exactly helping him with this, neither were his injuries. But slowly he was getting closer and closer.

He could almost grab the edge of the hole when another shock took place.

Whole ceiling collapsed on Spike, submerging and hitting him hard.

He tried to swim forward, but this was in vain.

"Damn... Sorry, Twi..." Was his last thought, before consciousness faded away.

Comments

[LordAlania]

This Spike is awesome

[DinoDenver]

5150202 Thank you. ^_^

But Spike is always awesome, especially with moustache.

[OmniFox]

Good thing Spike's immune to lava.