The Child of Technology
By: White Dragon
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Chapter 1: Surprise, Surprise
The sun shone down on the peaceful city of Canterlot, there was a warm breeze in the air as the day was peaceful. In the Canterlot Gardens sat many statues, some crafted by masters of their time, others, by foreign countries, looking for a good word put in, but none more dangerous or deadly than the two statues that stood mere hoof lengths from each other. Discord; Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, and the other statue was know as Technology, Man Of Machines and Bringer of Death, he stood in a suit of armor looking skin. These are the two most feared beings in all of the world. Technology was about to be granted his one wish, to be free again.
“Disssscccooordddd…”
“Disssscccooorrrddddddd…”
“Disssscccccooooorrrdddddd…”
“WHAT TECH???” yelled Discord telepathically.
“Here comes a tour group again,” I say, just hanging onto boredom.
“And why would I care?,” he says.
“Because, this is a group of fillies, and didn't you say that you needed just a bit more chaos?” I ask him.
I start to hear him laughing, as I disregard the foals outside and tell Discord to pay attention. I hear yelling and a strict teacher voice, telling them to settle down. But it is too late, Discord has absorbed enough chaos to free himself. As soon as they leave Discord’s Statue starts to crack and break, after about a minute of this his statue shatters and pieces of stone fly everywhere.
“I'M FREE,” he shouts.
“DISCORD HURRY UP AND FREE ME ALREADY,” I shout to him.
“Ok, fine no need to get mad, bro,”he says as he snaps his fingers to free me.
I try to feel the statue cracking, but nothings there. “DISCORD, what the hell mate??” I yell confused.
“Did you think I was going to free you right away, after you cheated in the Mind Wars?” He replied back, his tone seething with anger.
“What are you- oh, yeah… that,” I say sheepishly.
“Don’t worry though, your armor still has some of my powers. You will be freed in about 30 ish minutes,” he says with a grin.
“You’re a dick,” I say back to him.
“I KNOW, and now CHAOS! Arrivederci,” he says as he snaps his talons and disappears. I sigh and wait there for the stone to crack, a thousand years in stone gives you good patience. Finally after a bit of time I hear the stone that starts to crack. And after it breaks from my head, I grin like a madman. As the rest breaks away, I look down at my armor and see the gleam of copper and steel, gauges and lights. I feel the armor start to warm up after being in stone for so long. I grin at all the things I could do, then I remember my promise I made to myself. Forgiveness, that is the one thing I want more than anything. I look towards the castle were the one thing I seek can be given. I look down and press my camouflage button, to make myself almost invisible. I then begin my silent trek towards the castle.
I arrive a short while after, luckily there are no guards because of Discord’s chaos. I walk into the Throne Room and see no one in there. I see a large patch of shadows and walk over to it. I stand and press into the wall as far as I can, and shut off my eye lights, so I can’t be seen, and I wait. I don’t have to wait long though, as I see Princess Celestia and Princess Luna walk in with six little ponies, wearing what appear to be the Elements of Harmony. I chuckle quietly to myself, as I see how small they are. I lean in a bit to hear what Princess Celestia is saying.
“Thank you again, my little ponies, for helping stop Discord and his chaos,” says Princess Celestia in her motherly tone.
“No problem, Princess” says the little purple unicorn.
“Thank you, Twilight” she says giving a big smile.
I slowly back out of the conversation as I smile. After a few minutes The Princesses go to their Thrones and sit down, and talk quietly with the group. The great throne room doors slam open as a guard comes running through, panting and sweating.
“Princess, we have a problem,” says the guard in a panicked state.
“What is the issue, Golden Shield?” Celestia asks her tone full of worry.
“We went to put Discord back as you had asked, when we noticed the statue next to him was missing,” Golden Shield says.
Celestia and Luna’s eyes go wide and they start sweating, their eyes dart around the room as if they were looking for a monster. “Guard leave us now and put the castle on High alert, he MUST be found, now GO,” she says quickly to the guard. the guard runs off and closes the doors behind him. You can hear shouting in the halls as the guard’s scurry about.
“Princess, why are you so worried?” asked Twilight.
“The creature, that was released is on par with Discord, within power of magic, but his mind is far more advanced, he could build anything he wanted to with just his mind.” she says with worry.
“How is that possible?” Twilight asks.
“He was more advanced than all of us, the only way we were able to beat him was when he was asleep,” Celestia says.
“So he hates you?” asks a white and purple unicorn mare.
“No, he hates the Elements of Harmony, that is why we must hide you, before he finds you,” Celestia says with worry.
I turn on my eyes and say in a deep voice “Too late”.
They all freeze and turn very slowly towards the source of the noise, which is me, but of course all they see is a pair of square yellow lights. We stare at each other for awhile before Luna yells for the guards. I quickly move my hand and a solid bar of iron locks the door from opening. “Now, now, I don’t want any trouble.” I say as I put my hands up in surrender. Celestia and Luna both glare at me as I still remain in the shadows. “OH, wait, I know what I can use.” I exclaim as I wave my hand around. Celestia and Luna ready their magic as they expect an attack, but all I do is summon a little white flag and wave it around. “I surrender.”
Interesting...
For a first story, you did pretty well. It felt a bit rushed, but other than that it managed to hold my interest till the end of it. I'd like to see more of this, and do try and take your time writing; it keeps it much more... interesting...
Thanks, I'll try to slow it down a bit
Like it so far. Hurry up and post the next one. See this is why I don't usually read stories under the "new" section. Well, this and sometimes they don't write more than 2 chapters then never finish it, but we all know this, why am I still talking?
Nanites.
Interesting. I enjoy this immensely.
I added this to my fave's and this is my 666 Favorited story.
i am working on the next chapter right now. It is awesome and awkward in so many ways
I'll keep an eye on it... I won't tell what others have already said, but alos try to put a bit more detail into the physical world. Describe things, sights, sounds, smells, things of that nature. Don't go too overboard, but at the same time, try to give us an idea of the general atmosphere. Good luck!
this is moving...really fast..im gonna favorite it because of your character but I'd invest in an editor and maybe one thousand more words
1000 year awake in stone is like a personal hell it kind of a dark punishment. I would surrender as well. but were did his hating the element of harmony it could not have come from nothing right?
it would have been funny if the main character made fun of discord for only being free for 30mintish and
“So he hates you?” asks a white and purple unicorn mare. i think something is missing........i think Rarity need to be more refined at her words.Well thats just me
3974177 You try sleeping nice and peaceful then BAM your turned to stone by 5 necklaces and a tiara. Manliness gone
3973077 Bad omens all around. This MIGHT be a story I can get into.
3974940 I was right but.... the story is moving at light speed, slow it down to at lest Mach 5, ok.
love the last part.
3975283 Thanks i showed it to my friend and he laughed his ass off
3975298 same here.
3974820 I guess ponies tried to hurt him a lot and he did something bad right back im guessing? this in the time before the elements but everyone forgot what started it all so I guess that add to the reason he looking for forgiveness and maybe peace?
3975396 Mmmmaaayyyybbbbeeeee (looks around room for ninjas)
<.<
>.>
the maybe side leaning towards yes and your- akkk
Gets killed by a ninja
Remember everyone always be on the look out for ninjas
Plenty of potential with this, im looking forward to the next chapter.
The Next chapter is coming along nicely, it will be 1,500 to about 2,000 words
It's not bad. It's rife with grammar and structure mistakes, along with some plain unbelievable circumstances, but it's not bad.
I'll give you a bit of leeway with artistic license, and give it a chance.
I was thinking about adding a terminator joke in but idk maybe
Very interesting concept, I can't wait for the next chapter : )
Guys, if you go to the popular stories page or heat when browsing, and go to the second page, this is there and i am sooooo happy, so THANK YA, so because you guys and gals have been so good today the next chapter will most likely be up today
I like that cgapter ending
Hmm, a guy writing a story and makes it seems like he has split personality disorder, nothing crazy could happen in this story!
1) Formatting issues! Be consistent! Fix them!
2) Every sentence in this paragraph starts with "I"! Vary your starting words! Fix it!
3) There is a distinct surplus of commas, when periods or semicolons could be used, or no punctuation at all. Like here. Fix it!
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4) Unlike #3, there is a distinct lack of a comma here. Furthermore, your period is in the wrong place! Fix it!
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interesting will read MOAR
nicely done keep it up.
Soooo... He's French?
White i like the humor.
Good story so far i will keep going and see what happens
4266491 of course he is french he had a white flag on him
If I was this guy Id yell "MotherFuck'n chainguns!* and use 40mm Gatling cannons to shred the castle
6014344
Gatling Guns and Chain Guns are COMPLETELY different things.