After Queen Chrysalis's actions regarding a certain royal wedding, Equestria is in an uproar. Chrysalis doesn't want anything to do with Equestria, now that her first appearance was a failed one. But, there are others: others like Queen Archae's hive. They want to right the things Chrysalis wronged, so the Queen sends a diplomat by the name of Odyssey. His mission is to travel to Canterlot and to show the ponies there that not all changelings want to crash their weddings.
This is something I started writing as a challenge for myself: 1,000 words without any dialogue...agh! It was terrible but i finished! Tell me what you think!
Edit 1: I started writing this forever ago.
I need to finish it.
Yep.
Chapters (5)
Pretty good so far, although you may want to explain a bit how the queen appeared in the book, that part was a bit confusing,
4627247 yep, thats part of the next chapter
I look forward to seeing more.
4639089 I'm having a mild case of,writer's block. I have an idea, nut I'm not sure how,to,get there. I'll have something out on the fourth
Btw those hopefully not boring discussions will be in Chapter Three: Hopefully Not Boring Politics
I see typo with the word 'business' at the end. Spell it as I did please.
Other than that, and it being sort of short, good chapter
4639904 i wanted to get something out, and ill try and get my chapters to be 2000+ words
4639914 Understood.
How did you know about my wings and I am NOT a queen!
Calm down Zeph. It's probably just a coincidence.
Get back to your writing, human.
How rude.
4824086 wut
4824576
Zephyr is the name of the main changeling in my story. Since he's male, he took offense to being called a queen.
And he keeps getting distracted from his own story.
4825703 oooh lol makes sense now
Ah, so the notebook was an enchanted communications device. That wasn't very obvious at first,.
Huh, instant invasion party time! Let one in, the mob suddenly appears!
4825703 lol, can't take the other side in an alternative universe?
4976600 heck yeah, that's how all of these things work, right?
omg i need one more word! (at 5,099)
5108023 A bit of editing will fix that easy.
5108023 The 'Final' End would do it. Would have, at least.
4976600 hell yeah
You didn't rush the ending, you rushed the whole story. That said, it's not a bad little tale. Just, try to be a little more thorough next time? Take a little time to flesh the story out, rather than have it be so skeletal.
5814795 whoops. Sorry bout that :/
I agree with 5814795; great premise, no meat. Thanks for sharing it anyway!
hello 6115728 I suggest you do a reboot In the future to see how much experience you have gained
3 years have passed So you should have gained experience
6454221
5814795
What do you guys think
8191587 thanks for the kind words! I might do one eventually, but I'll be gone all summer so :/
I'll try to do one when college starts!
8191604 ok