• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 7th, 2021

Ribe_FireRain


Mental instability at its finest and aspiring punk rock musician. PS: Buy a creator a coffee to keep him awake? https://ko-fi.com/firerain

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After the weather team creates a storm over Ponyville, Rainbow Dash's house is unfortunately destroyed in the midst of it, nearly ending her life. After waking up, she finds out Fluttershy saved her and soon realizes how much she means to her, just as much as she means to her.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 23 )

Wow, that was amazing! :twilightsmile:
Have a :moustache:

Loved it, can't wait for more.
Have 1000x:yay:

Will we find out what happened to the Element of Loyalty and Tank?

5361261 The Element of Loyalty was sent back to the Tree of Harmony, along with the rest of the elements. Unless this fanfic is just talking about the neckless that used to hold her Element, I think that's an error with the story.

5363116 I know what happened to the Element of Loyalty in the show. I am asking about what happened to it in this story, since it was lost in the destruction of Rainbow Dash's house. And I still want to know what happened to Tank.

I aren't

Bad grammar is bad

Anywho:
Meh feels! :applecry::fluttercry::raritycry::raritydespair:

5374713 Actually, that grammar is valid. It is used sometimes. English grammar is often like that.

Without the shell, or the body... there is never a confirmation. Don't lose fate! You said it yourself Rainbow Dash! He's Unstoppable! He's A Tank! He can survive a fall like that! Can't he?!

...can he...?

The red, gemstone-thunderbolt in the middle had a crack down the middle, running a majority of its length, but at least it was intact.

Like I said before, I feel like this is the only error to the story since that red gem was returned back to the Tree of Harmony.

5374752 *facepalm* Error?! Just...what?! In this story it was a while before it was returned to the tree along with the other elements. Rainbow and the others kept them in their homes in this story.

Why did you even assume that the element was returned to the Tree of Harmony in this story when it clearly wasn't? Rainbow and the others haven't returned them yet. This story is set some point before any of that happens.

5374762 Well, the story doesn't suggest that all this happens before that time. And even if it did, then this would be an Alternate Universe, especially if it wants to take the road that Tank is dead.

Rainbow and the others kept them in their homes in this story.

If you're suggesting it's an Alternate Universe, there's no tag added to it.

5374802 You shouldn't need the tag, neither should the story. The reason for that is because it is obvious. I haven't actually confirmed the death of Tank, just said that Rainbow hasn't found him yet. I aren't obviously going to say something that gives the truth away.

There is simply no need for an alternate universe tag that adds an alternate route of the storyline.

5374834 An Alternate Universe is a universe in which events have happened that depart from the actual canon. The gem was returned, but the necklace wasn't. You can have that without it departing from the canon by just fixing that part of the necklace's presence. It wouldn't have to be a past event.

Otherwise, saying it's a past event pretty much spoils the whole, Tank's missing' part, because if you're making this story not an Alternate Universe, then it's easy to figure out he's still alive, because of the canon.

I thought it was an error because there's nothing in the story or its description that suggests this happens before the season 4 pilot. But if it isn't, and it's not an Alternate Universe, then it'll already spoil the story when it comes to Tank, otherwise his death would require an Alternate Universe too.

But, this could all be fixed if this was a future event, where the elements were actually returned back to their necklaces, but the story would have to reference that or something.

5374906 Not really, no. I know where you're coming from, but I don't see the alternate universe tag as a needed tag. I already told you that Tank's death hasn't been confirmed. All I can say to you is wait and see. I can't promise anything about changes such as the new tag of alternate universe but I'll put it in consideration.

I just don't want the plot to change. It was only an idea to start with and arguments as well as criticism, constructive or not are just making me go against plans for the story, which in truth is annoying. I know what you're saying but I really don't want to pay it no mind for the moment. Maybe I'll reconsider but once again, we'll see.

5374927 I'm not trying to change the story. I'm just saying what that single gem would imply, if there's no errors in your story.

I could probably go on by asking why the gem would be needed in the story at all, but I'll go ahead and see where you go with it. I can only think of a few possibilities that would make the story work, if it wanted to avoid errors and departure from the canon.

Besides that, I don't think your story is all that bad. My only other critisicm would be your line of thinking from this line in your story:

Rainbow thought that the feeling of Fluttershy's bed was itchy and way too flat for her liking but from living in a cloud house and having a clouds as her main structure material, she just wasn't used to it.

Remember, Rainbow Dash loves to nap on tree branches.

But it's not making the story bad, in my opinion anyway.

5374952 Well fair enough. I thought I cleared all errors in grammar. Well, back to editing...

also, I didn't say you was...

This is too happy for that tradegy tag.

5385108 A tragedy would be a story where an event happens that ultimately makes the main character feel that, they have failed. They lost something dear and valuable to them that they can never get back, like a friend died, or it ends with their lover hating them and/or with someone else.

A tragedy isn't a tragedy unless it has some sort of bittersweet ending, where one of the main characters has lost something that can't be replaced. The only real tragedy this one seems to go for is the loss of Tank. Sure, Rainbow Dash lost her home, but now has a new home in Fluttershy's cottage. (And I already talked about her element earlier.)

But I will say, it doesn't really 'feel' like much of a tragedy, especially if this is where the story ends, because there wasn't enough focus on Tank's death, if it even happened. But if it didn't happen, then this wouldn't be a tragedy. (I know a lot of people mistake what a tragedy really is. Even I had trouble understanding it.)

5385108
5385571

Truth be told, so you both know -

I have lately been feeling exhausted due to sleep deprivation and I seriously couldn't be bothered with focusing on massive words and going deep into emotion - other than in chapter 2 - it would of been longer, but the real idea for something like this came from Fell Into The Right Hooves with follows a near-exact story to this one, just in my words and thoughts for the characters.

I may go back to it sometime in life, but probably not for a while. As for Afterworld: Dead Days, that will most likely be every weekend. (Saturday or late Sunday for updates). Any inquires on this story or anything on your mind relative to it, feel free to ask.

Can you write a story on them looking for Tank? I want to know where is Tank and if his okay. Love the story by the way.

Wait a sec where's Tank...ever since 'Tanks for the Memories' I've been super aware of Tank!

Still heart broken about Tank but beautiful ending none-the-less :pinkiesad2:

5385108 you kidding right? WHTA ABOUT TANK!?!?!?!?!

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