Victoria Cello

by Creativa-Artly01

Chapter 1

It was a beautiful sunny day when Victoria Cello hopped off the train. As she sniffed the air around her, she let out a sigh. "I never really understood why Octavia liked it here so much. It smells like dirt and apples. A proper town should smell of cinnamon and crowded streets." Victoria sticks up her nose, picks up her bags, and heads off towards Octavia's house. A few minutes later, Victoria knocks on Octavia's door.

"Who's there?" says Octavia from the other room.

"Your big sister, Victoria," responds Victoria Cello. "Am I good to come in?"

"Sure," responds Octavia as she lets out a frustrated grunt. "If you leave your ego at the door."

Victoria then swings open the door and comes inside. She then plops her bags and cello case down on Octavia's couch. "Things haven't changed much around here. Now, I'm hungry. What is there to eat for lunch around here?"

"There's the Hay Burger and Sugar Cube Corner. That's about it," responds Octavia. "Now let's go." Victoria nods and follows her little sister out the door. A few minutes later, the two arrive at the Hay Burger. There, Octavia orders two burgers and a milkshake while Victoria orders a simple daisy salad and some horseshoe fries. Not long after that, the waiter brings the food to their table and sits it down in front of them. The two then begin to enjoy their meal. As Octavia enjoys her burgers and milkshake, she watches Victoria just properly and primly eat her salad and fries. "Why are you always so fancy? I can't bear it."

"I'm not fancy, I'm just proper," responds Victoria. "You used to be just as proper before you moved to Ponyville, ya know." She lets off a bit of snark as she says this.

"Well, I enjoy it here," responds Octavia, "don't give me such a hard time about it."

"I'm just saying," responds Victoria, "this place isn't much. There's a castle, a barn, a bakery, a school, and a burger place, that's not really that much. How can you live in a place so simple, so lackluster, so dull, so boring?"

"I beg your pardon!" says Octavia with a grunt, "Ponyville is never boring and dull! It's far from lackluster! It may be simple, but it's home!" She then gets up and leaves the Hay Burger. A few minutes later, she arrives at Sugar Cube Corner, where she wallows over a cupcake.

"Why can't my sister understand?" complains Octavia to Pinkie Pie. "Why can't she understand why I like Ponyville so much?"

"I don't know," responds Pinkie, "but maybe showing her around would help."

"Maybe," responds Octavia, "but she never listens to me. To her, I am nothing but an inconvenience, a bother, dare I say, second fiddle."

Meanwhile, back at the Hay Burger, Victoria Cello finishes up her food and returns back to Octavia's house. Once there, she takes off her collar and hops into the shower and begins running the hot water. As she stands in the shower, Victoria sings to herself. An hour later, she hops out of the shower and gets into a fresh collar. She then pops something out of a pocket on the back side of the collar. It's a locket. She opens it and smiles at the pictures inside. They're pictures of her and Octavia from when they were just little fillies. She then smiles. "Why can't she see I'm hard on her because I love her?" sighs Victoria.

An hour later, Octavia returns home and is soon embraced by her big sister. "Hey, where have you been all day?" asks Victoria.

"I went over to Sugar Cube Corner, then I went to hang out with Vinyl for a little bit," responds Octavia, "but what does that matter to you?"

"It matters a lot to me actually," responds Victoria.

"No it doesn't!" snaps Octavia. "It has never mattered to you!"

"That's not true," responds Victoria. She then shows Octavia the locket. "Remember this locket? It has pictures of us in it, pictures of us as fillies." She pops it open and shows the photographs inside to Octavia.

"So, you do care? But why do you pick on me so much then? Why do you always make me feel like the second cello?" responds Octavia as tears flow down her cheeks.

"I never tried to make you feel like you were the second cello or second fiddle," responds Victoria, "that was never my intention. In fact, I helped you learn how to play the cello. You may not remember that, but I did."

"I remember, I remember that fondly," responds Octavia with a smile, "it was the last time we saw each other before you went off to music school and left me behind."

"Melodic University accepted me, what was I supposed to do?" responds Victoria. "I always wanted to go to college there. I couldn't pass up the opportunity."

"You could've at least said goodbye," responds Octavia. "And maybe given me one farewell lesson or something."

"Okay, I should've done that, but look at how well you do on the cello nowadays," responds Victoria with a smile.

"Yeah," responds Octavia, "I guess you're right. I do owe all that to you." The two then embrace in a hug. Victoria smiles as she whispers into Octavia's ear.

"And I promise not to make you second fiddle any longer." Octavia just smiles. She's so glad her sister is going to appreciate her and her decisions from here on out. To her, that means absolutely everything.

Comments

[That one RationalCritic]

I found this to be a good story, though I found its development to be rather quick going from one event to the other without taking time to show (and develop with the characters) major events such as Victoria’s arrival after so long.

[BirdsBooksBrownies]

I like the concept, and I can feel that this story has very good potential, but to get there it needs some work. Two major issues that I noticed were that the pacing was just shy of Rainbow Dash speed, and while I did not see any spelling or grammar errors (props for that) in the first paragraph you had a rather glaring shift in tense, you went from past tense (it was a beautiful day) to present tense (Victoria sticks her nose in the air). Wishing you success.