Hello my dear shadows I made a blog post and n whether we wanted Jewels to stay with Shisai or to stay home with those she loves. The Ed it was influenced by 2 responses, a special shout out to Cursebringer and KarasAdamus for their input.

Great chapter! From what I could see there were no spelling errors, at least non that I could see.
The ending felt a bit rushed, it might just have been me reading to fast, or maybe that was what you were going for and next chapter will have more detail?

Nice, but now I wonder if this means that the Elements will be there enemy?☹️

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Only time will tell~~

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I paced myself or tried at least but I'm a fast reader myself so I'd imagine it would seem a lil rushed.

Damn

I guess they really are cruel then again the old man did warn him I say the burn for what they have then also was this intensional as you have cannda made the dark age of the Greeks past in this chapter and the shadows won't shelter any of them
The light will have them all burn for their ignoreness and blindness
Foolish trabalist they rep what have sawn with this

In the cruel world we live in there's but one friend who stand's with you since birth and that is your shadow

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May the light pass judgement onto those who don't follow God's will and the shadows take joy in their destruction.

10709223
Only the blind will fall

Oh shit they dead

I really like the story so far and I am very interested how this will develop in the future. I do have a small piece of advice but I think it was already mentioned. ( This comment 10706337 ) Try and make more variation with the length of the sentences.

"You really shouldn't move that gash on your side is nowhere fully healed yet and you trying to move will only make it worse." said Shisai, while I know what he said was the truth I knew I had to get home and tell everyone's parents about what happened. "Look I have to get home my friends were killed by the manticore you slayed earlier and I need to tell their families what happened is there some way you could help me get there?" I asked in a hopeful voice.

I feel like you had too many long sentences here. Having long sentences in itself is no problem, however if they are too close together, or right after another, they slow the reader too much. A good way to avoid this to put some short sentences between the longer ones.
Also I would try to keep spoken sentences shorter. You have to take a breath sometimes.

One example how I would break up sentences:

"Look I have to get home my friends were killed by the manticore you slayed earlier and I need to tell their families what happened is there some way you could help me get there?"

->
Look I have to get home (now). My friends were killed by the manticore you slayed earlier and I need to tell their families what happened. Is there some way you could help me get there?

I only added some more dots and personally I find that nicer to read. The now I added is optional, I just thought it fitting.

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Nah he didn’t kill anyone you’ll see in the next chapter cuz our boi is a good guy XD.

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Alright thx for the tip bro see ya next time 🤓

this chapter left me confused.
The story is set in a time before the princesses?
because if not, I don't see much sense in the execution of Jewells' mother because if we are talking about an execution it would not be something that could be decided by a popular vote. At most they could decide to kick her out of town but an execution requires approval from a judge or the princesses themselves.
that the citizens of a town vote to execute someone is something that can be given in an independent city, but in a diarchy that would be a decision of the princesses or of someone who enforces their laws
Of course, this is assuming that the equestrian diarchy is similar to the European monarchies, if not, I would like you to clarify it for me.

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You’ll learn later why they don’t contact the princesses for things like these, please take notice to the lack of guards in this town. (They don’t follow the princesses rule and there are other towns like this one)

10710393
Ok, thanks

Love the chapter and the color text help a bit too. I fell bad for Jewels and her family and in all honesty that town should be eradicated. Having lost those close to her and then kicked out of her home by the prejudice town folk. Yeah I would burn that place to the ground with a smile on my face. I do have a question though and I'm not trying to get story spoilers but do you plan to go to "THAT" town by "THAT" forest if so maybe send me a pm

When should we start spamming?

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Dont worry I'm here I took the weekend off to think more about the direction I'm taking the story in, I forgot to make a blog about it.

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Every writer needs time to think. 👍

So they murdered her mother and their just gonna walk away? I'd kill every single one of them when night came, in the most painful ways I could think of. There better be a reckoning for that town, I cant stand stories where the protagonist is supposedly extremely powerful yet a weak minded door mat. They just admitted to murdering her mother, yet shisai apparently doesn't plan on doing shit about it.

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He exploded the town. Likely killing them all

Hey guys😋 im back for a lil, ive been really busy on my end and i wanna let you guys know im still gonna be working on thus story.