Just a simple guy who likes making stories.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Alright, I like it so far and can't wait to see more.
10259051
Thank, if you've got any suggestions feel free to tell me them
10259058
So far it's pretty good and I'm glad you're not making the MC a doormat like most anime protagonists.
10259071
I kinda based Ethan's personality off of Kazuma from Konasuba
10259099
Nice, will other girls come into story or just these 12?
10259113
More will show, mainly to find these 12.
10259119
Then if may suggest, do a Rule34 Big Mac because ewe don't have enough stories with her.
10259123
Hmmm, maybe, I might come up with something later along the lines.
10259123
Maybe something along the lines of a spell hitting the wrong person and making a clone?
10259146
Or you can just have it to where Big Mac is a girl in this universe so you don't have to make things complicated, alot of people do it.
10259153
True
10259153
Any other ideas?
10259163
Nothing at the moment
Huh this story reminds me ,of another story one here where it had,the same premise as this one
10259451
Well I did take a little inspiration from a few stories that are similar in concept.
10259485
I see, also the story reminded me of this one a bit
. You might have already read it i guess https://www.fimfiction.net/story/170928/roommates
10259495
Yeah, Roommates is one of them.
So these girls are from a RGRE.
10259726
I have, no clue what that is.
10260252
Reverse Gender Roles Equestria, an Equestria where all the gender roles are flipped. Mares work while stallions do the housework and raise the foals, that sort of thing.
10260319
Thanks.
10259726
Ah, then sort of, there are a few exceptions to the norm in their version of Equestria
Kunai is spelled with an a. At least you didn't put an s at the end.
10260490
Oh, thank you for pointing out spelling error, I didn't know Kunai had an A in it.
10260495
You're welcome.
10260501
If I've made any more feel free to point them out.
10260506
A few.
Mall.
Pretty sure that should be thinking.
One should probably be only.
They've been what from their own world?
Pretty sure that should say fully healed.
You're gonna.
Themselves the best.
And finally: pretty much all of your paragraphs are long run on sentences. Using commas isn't enough to fix this. I would suggest finding an editor.
Other than that and the ridiculous bust sizes you gave the Mane 6 the story seems to have an interesting premise so keep it up.
10260523
Thank you, also I have been considering lowering those bust sizes, which I have now done as well, also... Editor? How's that work?
10260550
Not sure as I have never written a story on here. You will have to ask another author. Proofreader is another word for it used on this site so again I don't know.
10260550
Still a little silly but more believable on the bust sizes.
10260556
Well, we're not talking about humans here.
10260557
Yes which is why I find these new sizes acceptable. I just always found someone expecting the usual productiveness out of a Rarity with a bust size bigger than Celestia's flanks to be taking it too far.
This is getting good, keep it up man.
Also I say let the fillies learn Nen as well.
Not bad at all im liking the anime theme of it and the protagonist ,tthe charectes can be worked on tho,rd and applejack seem too hostile for someone they dont know they dealt with zecora and learned from it so its out of charecter , pinkie should be more cheerful and active and fluttershy should be more shy twilights peesonality works well tho otherwise you got something solid hope to see more :)
10325802
Well, Ethan has humiliated them on a couple of occasions.
10331877
Well they deserve it all, for being Hostile for NO reason.
10450219
Well, now that have a reason, Ethan is being a dick.
10450262
No he wasn't. Not to me that is. Applejack and Rainbow deserve the humiliation for being Assholes to Ethan. And another thing. Why the hell are you letting Ethan giving them the Nen Powers?!
For one thing. Their were being rude and mean to him. And the Ponies are NOT even friends to Ethan somewhat. So, WHY should Ethan be a nice guy and feels like he own them a favor?
Besides, the Ponies are very inexperience and are "Noobs" to learn the Nen Powers and Techniques. Nen is VERY Different than the Ponies Magic. And is not used like a plaything. There just gonna screw up and get themselves killed.
Personally, I WON'T have a problem with this IF the Ponies act WWWWAAAAYYYY Nicer, and Apologize to Ethan ( Especially Applejack and Rainbow Dash.). And they have to EARN the Nen Powers first. Not rushing it without training.
The Nen Powers ( HunterXHunter ) sounds a bit similar to KI ( DBZ, DB GT, DB Super ) and Chakra ( Naruto ). But, ALL of them are very powerful and dangerous in their own right. So giving it to the Ponies very fast and in a rushing matter, sounds very irresponsible for Ethan do that. I hope the Higher Ups from the Hero Organization scold him for it.
I mean, I just don't think Ethan is a "Master/Teacher" type to help the Main Six, and others.
10450359
Ethan is just showing them the basics so they don't blow themselves up.
As for why he's teaching them, Nen would greatly help them since they're in the most dangerous area in the world, and since the ponies have no money, they're stuck there.
Ethan can't be everywhere and sometime his job as a hero takes him to faraway places if he's not there when something happens, then they'd die.
10450388
Those are good points. I just think they got it too early and fast. And think they don't deserve this very cool, but destructive power. And I'm still sour with Rainbow and Applejack for being bitches to Ethan here. Plus, I worry they might abuse their Nen Powers and do something very stupid! Like attacking the WRONG person like when they did it with Ethan. And get into more trouble.
10450399
Them attacking anyone won't be a problem, since there isn't a single person within a 50-mile radius of the city they're in, it's mostly just monsters.
10450454
Oh, so it's just some heroes being there. And is this both a One Punch Man, and a HunterXHunter Crossover? Are you adding more Anime?
10450464
No, just an OPM crossover, I'm using a simplified version of Nen, and it's basically a nod to one of my favorite animes, I might add more references and/or things that are nods to other series since OPM has done this many times.
10450548
Okay, good.