Just a lesbian with a laptop.
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Ready to take things to the next level with Wallflower, Sunset decides to put the moves on her girlfriend.
Too bad she consulted Rainbow Dash first.
Thanks to my ever-patient girlfriend and collaborator for not only writing this nonsense with me, but listening to me list off many, many, many synonyms for vagina. What a trooper. 
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Let’s not ask Rainbow Dash for... anything else, ever again
.
11373531
Good call!
This was a hilarious as I expected and then some. That ending just got me laughing real hard. Damn it, Dash. Are you really that bad at romancing or are you hiding something?
Now to read the other story!
PS: Hey, I remember that art! XD
The next time she meets with Rainbow:
"Your pickup lines work in weird ways, but Wally was totally in the mood after I said them!"
11373536
THat... was hilarious.
Also wait Sunflower is canon??? WHat did I miss?
"Sunset, unlike Rainbow Dash I know what I'm doing in the bedroom"
*Sunset, stunned, wide eyed in bed*
"....the quiet ones really ARE the best!"
I don't know what's more cringe. The pickup lines, or the ship itself, and that people say it's actually EQG canon. Have an upvote since it was funny 😁.
11373612 What if you tried not being a smug piece of shit?
What if you tried that?
What if? Just what if?
Imagine it. Imagine a world where you didn’t deliver backhanded compliments or spit jaw-droppingly stupid criticism cloaked in the kind of smug arrogance that only a nitwit who thinks he’s a genius could produce every time you dragged your ass across a comments section like a dog with a wormy butthole?
Imagine a world where people didn’t cringe and roll their eyes when they saw a comment from you on something they wrote.
Imagine a world where you wouldn’t have to announce that you Don’t Care What Anyone Thinks Of You, because people actually think well of you.
That would be a nice world.
11373671
Imagine living in a world where no one feels the need to write a wall of text every time they read a short comment they don't like. Wouldn't that be wonderful?
Anyway, good story!
11373681 “Wall of text?” What are you reading on, NGauge? Screen the size of a cocktail napkin?
11373693
I'm not gonna sit here and explain the concept of "proportions" to you.
11373713 nor will I explain the concept of “asymmetry.”
now that we’ve established what we won’t say to one another, join me for an evening of fine sherry and silent, jaw-clenched scowling at the piano lounge.
I'm impressed -- "whispering eye" was a completely new one on me.
Also, please add me to the roster of Team Never Ask Rainbow Dash For Advice.
11373722
No thanks, I'm not that smug.
11373729 no shit? More sherry for me then; I ain’t complaining.
11373732
Okay, boozer.
11373612
My boy you can’t say that another ship is cringe wen you literally wrote an entire Romance SERIES about princess twilight and sci twi
11373752
Oh I know people find mine cringe. Doesn't bother me at all. Just like these kinds of comments don't.
This was a bit of hilarious cringe. Pickup lines are always so cringey and hilarious. I don't know which one I was laughing at harder, Sunset using Dash's obviously lame lines, Wallflower's obliviousness, or Sunset's frustration.
11373681
Would be great if people just quit trying to force me and change how I comment. If the site staff says something about how I comment? I'll listen to them. People don't have to like what I comment.
But attacking me for them is wasting everyone's time.
11373848 It’s really not that hard to be considerate when you respond to someone else’s writing. You don’t need to say “I found it funny,” while being needlessly, pointlessly catty about the pairing. At that point, you’re just delivering a backhanded comment. You don’t need to do that.
But if your stated position is “I won’t stop talking out of my ass unless directly ordered to by an authority figure,” then you’ve already committed to the bit.
Speaking of:
would you stop being a moron if an admin told you to?
11373859
Was it actually canon? I heard someone say it was
A highly educational read, introducing the reader to numerous terms and slangs for a certain part of the human body. This story combines old and new language terms to provide a stunning commentary on sexual encounters between human partners.
But yeah, this was freaking awesome lol.
11373752
Some people are entirely capable of identifying and writing cringe.
11373897 I have been instructed by my attorneys to say “yes.”
(my attorneys are cats)
11373929
Wise choice.
damn she really poshed her comment section
I mean she really wrote a clever chapter title her fanfiction upload
I mean she really sexed her sex thingy
I liked the chapter title a lot though
the like seventeen red flags Dash threw in the beginning that Sunset missed (especially the double middle finger lmao) really set up the second half working well
The way she kept repeating this, I was expecting the punch line to be the reveal that Dash is a virgin who's never been on a date.
This was some good cringe even if it did walk the fine line of too much cringe. It was definitely funny enough to keep it on the good side of cringe, then the "lesbian pounce" at the end brought it all together in just the right way. Comedy gold, and even a little touching.
11374215
How could someone who randomly got a call from "some totally hot bitches" be a complete virgin, though?
11374506
"It's ok, Dashie. I won't tell anyone that you secretly volunteer at the local clinic for diamond dogs with severe fevers!"
"But I don't-"
"All the more reason!"
So good. I admit I did not understand all of the lines but still enjoyed them. Oh, Dashie.
11373859
Either they'd stop being a moron or they'd be permanently banned. The end result for the site at large is the same, by design.
I was expecting Zapp Brannigan lines, thank Celestia, Dash's were much better.
Welp, I came into this expecting some Gosh Dang It Rainbow™ goodness, and by golly that’s exactly what you gave us. Even by those expectations, though, I’m thoroughly, and slightly worryingly, impressed by the sheer number of euphemisms you’ve come up with for the ol’ Keith Burtons.
dash.
dash pls
Ｄ Ａ Ｓ Ｈ ．
There’s a question that Sunset needs to ask here- aaaand she’s asked it, and the answer says absolutely everything that needed to be said
. I swear, if this story and Rainbow Rocks are anything to go by, Dash is almost as much of an antagonist as Equestria Girls’ actual villains.
And with that ending… why is there a little part of me that wonders if Wally knew all along, and was just leading Sunset on this whole time?
And for one last quote, cue the second-weirdest noise complaint that Sunset has ever received from her neighbours
VAGINA
Now that I got your attention, I think you requested a review
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/823653490730598480/1026658701035176009/6vmy5n2.jpg
11375044
Despite what people might think, my comments are not breaking any site rules. No mod has ever told me I need to stop or change how I comment.
It feels like the replies I get are trying to force me to say or do something that people can report.