To Serve Bronies

by Fuzzy Necromancer

Journey's End

“Honey, I am so, so sorry for what I did to you. Is there anything I can do to make it up?” Rarity asked. She had failed as a lady. She had failed Applejack and Fluttershy as a friend.

Reiko muttered something, avoiding eye contact.

“Sorry? What was that?”

“Imeanidon’tknowifyourstraightbutakisswouldreallymakeitbetter,” Reiko whispered.

Rarity threw her head back and laughed. “Oh sweetie, after I bit off your ear, that would be the least I can do.”

The human bent down and closed her eyes. Rarity leaned forward, reined in the urge to bite her face off and chew open her bones for the tasty marrow, and planted a soft little kiss on her cheek. The human’s face blushed, filling with hot blood.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to just, do the amputation myself?” she asked, eyes bright and sparkling. “I don’t have a problem with it. I can start before the painkillers kick in!”

Rarity’s heart didn’t break, because she didn’t know this human well enough for that, but it fractured along a fault line. “No, dear. Really.” She patted the delicious human on the back.

“You’re totally getting two extra portions of my severed arm,” Reiko said, with a wink.

#

Twilight Sparkle stepped up to Jamal.

“Are you ready to go home?”

“Of course,” Jamal said.

Applejack slapped him on the back so hard he doubled over.

“Sugarcube, you’re a stallion and a half. I still don’t understand a lot about that crazy world y’all live in, but every human being who lives there is better off for you still being back home in one solid piece and not sliced up into cold cuts for unicorn gourmands.”

“Thanks,” Jamal said, wiping his nose.

“Aw, are you crying?” Applejack asked.

“I’m not crying! You’re crying!” Jamal said, through a mouthful of laughter.

Twilight handed him a brown paper bag. She also gave him a tiny bag of black velvet.

“What’s this?” Jamal asked.

“Well, you told me that your daughter is a big ‘fan’ of me, so I thought I’d get her something. The blue crystal in it will enhance her memory and social awareness, and protect her from poisons and radiation. Just in case that doesn’t work, because of different laws of reality, I’ve also included a lock of my hair.” She smiled. “She might not believe it, of course, but you can still tell your daughter that it’s a clipping from Twilight Sparkle.”

Jamal wiped his nose again.

“I…uh, I didn’t think I’d say this, especially to somebody who tried to eat me alive, but you’re a real champ. Thank you.”

“Least I can do!” Twilight Sparkle said, through the muzzle. Her stomach roared like an angry manticore.

“Let’s get home,” Jamal said.

“I guess,” Reiko sighed. “Who knows. Maybe I can meet up with my online friends and ditch my parent’s credit card in a train station bathroom.”

Jamal stepped into the elaborate symbols, written in his own blood. He vanished in a flash of light.

In the far distance, something screamed out with frustration and hatred. The cold wind died, and warmth began to spread throughout Ponyville.

“We’ve got a little while before he reaches Tara Strong,” Reiko said, nervously.

“What’s on your mind, sweet pea?” Applejack asked.

Reiko pointed at Spike and the quill.

“Knock yourself out,” Twilight Sparkle said.

“Dear Princess Celestia…” Reiko began.

THE END

Author's Note:

Thank you for your patience. I hope you enjoyed the ride. :) Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Comments

[Eon333MS]

I wondered if this story would reach its end sometimes.
And while it didn't really go the direction I expected in the end, I still enjoyed this story as bizarre a concept as it is.

[fanreader999999]

This is fucking awful. I marathoned the whole thing and it’s like reading 7 different stories. I can’t even bring myself to comment about the ending.

But I’m also going to give this a thumbs up for the concept and making it interesting. The story definitely doesn’t deserve the number of down votes it has. I imagine that’s due to the story poking fun at bronies.

[bonberjean]

Was Lyra in this story just a filler?

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

9705037
I'm...not really sure how to take this. I do have to ask, if you hated it so much why did you bother to marathon it?

[fanreader999999]

9711888
I didn’t say I hated it, I said it’s awful. If you want me to rephrase it: good idea, bad execution.

And I marathoned it because the story is really short once you skip over the meta stuff, most of which flies over my head cause I got into the fandom late and I’m not a con goer.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

9712231
Well if you think you can execute the idea better, by all means, be my guest.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

9704888
Thank you. I'm glad I got you there in the end.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

9705436
I couldn't write a Humans in Equestria story without Lyra and I wanted to kill at least one of the humans.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

9856986
It's nice when my ancient Greek references are appreciated.