Letter 27.1: Here.
To my faithful -- if injured -- student, Twilight Sparkle,
Oh Twilight.
I have included a list of legal representatives that your stipend should be able to cover comfortably as per your request, and you'll be pleased to know several of them acted in your family's defense during your time here in Canterlot.
Your loving mentor,
Princess Celestia.
Dear Spike,
As you are perhaps the only bastion of sanity that is both familiar with Twilight and present to give me a less-biased view, how bad was this on the Purple scale? I really can't justify continuously paying off families not to press charges. Do you think she can handle this on her own, or should I prepare the usual countermeasures?
The usual consultation fee of four sapphires and one ruby with that 'spicy' enchantment you like will be sent in response to your answer at the usual time.
Your friend,
Princess Celestia
Dear Anon,
Anon, I will pay you in coffee for every week Twilight can go without having to re-learn a lesson, or behaves in a manner more responsible or mature than Spike. If you can go a month, I will convince Luna to visit you for a film night.
Penned by,
HRH Celestia
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And just like that, Anon has a challenge.
Aw, Anon is never going to get a movie night with his BTGGF(wttdu) at this rate.
And now Celestia has to resort to bribery. Honestly, I don’t blame her.
Celestia:
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/435/941/317.gif
'Nuff said.
9861135
She's trying not to have to come down herself.
9861148
I know.
Damn, sunbutt just pulled out the big guns
Wow. I’d have thought Best Princess (wttdu) would’ve wanted to go to movie night without any convincing from Big Sister. Perhaps she didn’t want to be chaperoned again? Or is she afraid she’ll forget “something” with Anon again?
Challengeaccepted.jgp
Well, this will be one way for Anon to get his ban on coffee lifted.
SHeesh! no wonder Celestia wanted to retire! She got tired of putting up with the general craziness of her country!
I can only see Luna retiring along with her to not have to put up with all the responsibility that her sister is ditching....although in the case of this fic maybe she hooks up with Anon.
Ooh... now there's the chessmaster Celestia that I love... knowing just how to tug those strings of manipulation to get people to do what she wants.
What I'm reading is that it's time for Anon sedate Twilight, cap her horn and strap her down in the basement for a month.
*Seinfeld theme starts playing*
I doubt Luna needs “convincing”.
9861328
What is wttdu?
9940365
its supposed to be wttds. Its already been explained in a previous response.
9919328
And just *pretend* that Purple Psychopath is dictating letters, too.
An unusual silence, absence of letters in this case, would make it kinda obvious that something's up.
The plot thickens, and I'm not talking about the royal one!
all a man needs is a cause to fight for. now Anon has 2.
Let's GOOOOOOO