Give a million monkeys a million typewriters and in a million years they’ll produce the entire works of Shakespearacles. Or, more likely, they’ll start flinging typewriters instead of REDACTED

Moving right along, this here is a collection of speedwriting fics from Trotcon, Everfree Northwest, and other speedwriting contests, the ones that weren’t fit to print. The ideas are the best ideas I could come up with in the short amount of time I was given. Sometimes, in contests like those, you get gold. Other times, the muse shrugs her shoulders, and you get these.

Updated semi-annually, as long as I keep going to cons that have speedwriting contests.

The stars are vanishing from Equestria. It's not so bad.

My entry in the first Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Competition! An experimental story written in just under an hour and totally unedited. Enjoy.

"The stars are GONE!" Twilight declares at an emergency faculty meeting at the School of Friendship. Is it an impending apocalyptic disaster... or is this a classic case of Twilighting? Starlight's got a guess...

WINNER of the 1st "Quills and Sofas" Group Speed-Writing Competition!

Also, may contain some real gripes from a real high-school teacher who knows some academic horse-hockey when he sees it...

Cover image used with permission from OinkTweetStudios! Check 'em out, they do awesome work!

Many moons ago, the famous Flim Flam Corporation took control of Equestria. The Princesses, the Royal Guard, and the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony all fought valiantly, but were defeated and executed. Many ponies were captured and turned into cyborgs, acting as ruthless enforcers against the small pockets of resistance, as the natural world of Equestria was industrialized to serve Flim and Flam's interests.

But on Nightmare Night, as the lunarizer raises the moon that was once Luna's into the sky, Flim and Flam are met by some unexpected guests. And nothing they can do will save their lives.

My entry in the 2023 Cyberpunk Equestria Nightmare Night Contest

Flurry Heart offers Cozy Glow the chance to learn the true meaning of Devotion.

Written entirely in iambic tetrameter, with the first line of each verse headless.

An entry in Imposing Sovereigns IV, using the prompt Flurry/Cozy<->Loyalty.

At 8:35 AM, Canterlot burns.

Unless Twilight can stop it.

Preread by the lovely Rewan Demontay, Teardrops, Perfectly Insane, and ChudoJogurt!

Far from civilization, in places still left blank on all maps, one can sometimes find wonders of magic that predate even Equestria. Beautiful and dangerous, they’re a silent reminder of the world as it once was. But they’re also a threat to the travelers from the growing Principality of Equestria, so when Princess Luna discovers an unnatural blemish in the texture of her dreamscape, she doesn’t wait to investigate it.

Little does she know that the creator of that blemish is already waiting for her.

A reading performed by Skijarama!

A call from Ponyville General finds Lyra confronted with her worst fear, her love in a hospital bed.

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My entry for Quills and Sofas' "Do I Know You?" panic prompt. Written in 30 minutes, edited in 10.

In the early morning of Hearth's Warming Day, Sombra awakens.

Written for ZeroMonkey for Jinglemas 2021

Thanks to The Sleepless Beholder, Emotion Nexus, and Dewdrops on the Grass for prereading.

This story is a sequel to Braiding

A meeting with Nurse Tenderheart and a chance encounter with a filly motivate Sam to invite Rose over for dinner, as well as to push Sam just a little further into full integration with pony society.