What would happen if the Apple family found out the true actions of Babs Seed?
What would the reactions be when Rarity found out about Sweetie-Belle's tormentors?
NOTE: I am not happy with the editing of this one-shot. I have re-written it 4 times now, I know the flow is choppy and it feels rushed. I may one day come back to this and either re-write again, or expand it to a multi-chapter.
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Thank you, it is about time that the adults took a hoof in responding to those two. I would like to see this expanded to more chapters, covering how Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon deal with the fact that their actions have just turned and bit them in the flank. Babs arrival home escorted by Big Mac should be interesting also.
I didn't mind this, at times the Apples spoke like they had their mouths burnt, as in you really overdid the accents
3016725 trust me, you think the published chapters bad, After transcribing what i'd written and re-writing it on the computer I burnt the original, the accent's in that were. . . .Diabolical. (Not that I'm saying i struggle with accents at all! lol
)
3016665 I hear ya.
I may one day come back and do that, but I predominately wrote this to get out of a writers block on my other fic.
I dunno. Interesting idea... somewhat sloppy execution.
(And those accents...)
3218390
Only somewhat? I'll be honest with you, I've added this to the pile of re-writes to do because after not reading it for a while I opened the file up and well, it certainly needs work.
I'm glad that thought the idea was at least interesting as it leaves hope that I can do a better job on this.
Nice! think you cn make another chapter or something?
3315300 I've got a second chapter in the draft stages but it wont be posted for a while as I'm concentrating on Mutual Rescue at the moment, but I can assure you as soon as I've got the time free I shall be not only working on chap 2 I will also be going back and re writing this chapter so it fit's my better quality writing than what is posted at the moment.
Oh and thanks for the fave
Its a shame Babs and the CMC never got to be friends....
How bad is it that I took great joy in this? Like, a ridiculous amount of sadistic joy?
I never liked how somehow the CMC decided not to play the prank on Babs, she had it coming.
Definitely could have been written better (I couldn't even decode this “Ah ain’t got a clue, but ah rekkin’ we’ll find aht iff’n we go dahn.” ), but I must say I really very much enjoyed this.
No.
I loved it so much that words cannot express it.
I loved it so much that...that...sorry, I'm not good with words
Not bad, but I give it an 8/10.
3483970
I would agree with you, but Babs is one of those characters that see no more than once who never actually gets character development. I'm not counting Apple Family Reunion as Babs is a glorified background character in that episode.
I didn't like the way you did the Apples' accents or what Bab's punishment was, but everything else was nice.
Good work.
I think you're getting carried away with the cowpony accents, because I can hardly understand what the apple family are saying.
You should continue this because it would be fitting to see how well diamond takes to be an earth pony that doesn't have much money.
8405175
I second that.
Ok, I like this story and I like what it CAN lead to but there are a couple of things that make this story a bit watered down. The biggest issue, to me at least, is that you put a bit more emphasis than needed on the country accents that it is sometimes hard to understand what they are meant to be saying. 2nd thing is something that you have admitted and that is the story does seem rushed and not to a degree that makes it unbearable or bad, but just enough to where it does draw negative feedback from it. Fix those 2 things and this story will be extremely better. Personally, i believe that this story can be even better if it is a multi-chapter story instead of a one-shot like this. Either way, great story just a lack of execution, keep up the great work wo/man.
This is so much worse than than the original ending.
8529052
A chance to redeem themselves and become good friends?
Wow, Babs Seed would have been a natural for Cobra Kai. A bullied filly becoming just as bad as her aggressors?
8971613
redemtion without punishment is empty and hollow.
Do the crime and serve the time.
9066602
That is bollocks.
Nopony gets a happy ending in this story.
The original has a reconciliation, a new friendship and no revenge fantasies.
It is superior in every way.
9066644
Not saying this is a better ending on an objective scale.
All I am saying is that I don't feel like bullies deserves instant forgiveness. They go out of their way to makes others miserable and unhappy. They take pleasure from others misery.
9066651
Babs Seeds apology was sincere and the CMC accepted it.
They didn´t hold a grudge.
And Babs already felt miserable before she came to Ponyville.
This is one of the best stories that I've read in a long time, however my only issue that I have with this is that it's much too short. There are several open ends in the story such as when Babs gets home and the family is told of why Babs has returned or the selling of the dress and all the while Silver Spoon is watching or when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon see's the CMC. However the biggest thing that I am curious of is when Silver Spoon had yelled out "Snitches", and how that would have played out. Now these are just the one's that I noticed and I'm sure that there's much more, but I am not trying to take anything away from the story. Which is excellent, but it's like watching a movie and right before the the final scene the power goes out. Maybe the author will add more later.
I really like this fic. Seeing fics where Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon get satisfying comeuppances like this is something I've always loved. Aside from the obvious grammar errors and over-exaggeration of the Apple family's southern accent, the only thing I didn't like about it was Babs being sent home early. Other than that, it was a great story.
This is a good story, just one problem.
Applejack says that Babs is her niece.
But Babs is Applebloom cousin.
Are you applying that Applejack is Applebloom's mother?
Immature
I didn’t quite understand what happened there.
9066678
Doesn’t excuse her actions though
9281971
An apology does that.
9193941
I assume the nanny had to be laid off to save money.
9286150
9193941
Maybe they didn't have one in the first place, and she thought her mother was a nanny.
Love the last line from Rich.
I think sending Babs home and making her a diabolical pony is just plain wrong. I know creators have their own way and their own universe, but it just seems wrong to make Babs go away like that and to have her friendless. Diamond Tiara and SIlver Spoon are the ones that should've been punished. Babs could've been involved in helping build the float with her cousin and her friends, and they could've all opened up and talked about what was going on and give Babs assurance of her situation rather then send her away. I think you make the Smith family too mean like to just take away the business like that. That means no livelihood for them. I wish Babs and the CMC were friends. Stories like this make me sad for Babs Seed. She's not a bad pony and I refuse to call her a bad pony at all. I'd come on your pony world and give those the ponies the what for, even Big mac and say how ashamed I am that their friendship is a crock to treat Babs Seed very mean.
9716668
I didn't like that part much either. Babs may have harassed the Crusaders in ways that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon normally wouldn't, but she was manipulated by them and she was there so her extended family could help her. I know this is a one-shot story and having a redemption ark in that might be a bit hard (especially in this scenario), but I also don't think that Babs should've been sent home like that without a choice. Here's how I think it could be made better:
Instead of telling her to pack her bags, AppleJack would try to reason with Babs over why what she did was wrong and give her the chance to make amends with her cousin. Babs would refuse this offer and AppleJack would end up having no choice but to send Babs home. However, rather than the harsh parting words AppleJack says to her, she would say that she would hold out hope that one day they would be able to put this behind them and that she and Applebloom would make amends.
I know it ain't much, but I think it's a bit better than sending her home without a choice. what do you think?
Another one for the Diamond Tiara Nightmare Collection.
9716668
Uh, no. Babs deserves getting sent home. Not only did she basically make Apple Bloom sleep on the floor OF HER OWN BEDROOM, she DESTROYED personal property. And she went above and beyond with any bullying that Diamond Twerp and Silver Shit did; they only said things, whereas Babs FUCKING PHYSICALLY ABUSES THE CMCS. She's lucky she doesn't get slapped with JUVIE.
10106880
This basically sums it up, some may think that the punishment is harsh, but when your own family is being targeted, you'll do anything in your power to seek revenge because you love them
9282207
Er no they really don't.
10106880
Agreed
9166870
Or that Big Mac is Applebloom's father
8405175
I agree
10610470
Agreed, apologies are helpful, but they aren't unilateral fix-alls like some creators (cough Hasbro cough) sometimes make them out to be.