Luna and Nightmare Moon are transported to the Capital Wasteland during the final battle against her sister. Join them in their attempt to return home and reclaim her birthright with the help of a girl named Sarah, fresh out of Vault 101.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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3329305 Ah, it can be interpreted the other way, though. Maybe switch the words a bit so it's more abundantly clear that it's their opinion?
Maybe: ...reclaim the throne that they believe is rightfully theirs.
That takes away the slight ambiguity.
It appears to be less "ripping" and more "Copy-Pasting"
hmm i like keep going
pinky vacuum activ te
Best.Story.Ever!
I wasn't expecting the whole Luna/Nightmare Moon tandem to be pulled off well, but I was pleasantly surprised at how they work together, instead of Luna just trying to force her out. Maybe she can't. Schizophrenia? I'm sensing that Nightmare will probably do an important thingy at some point, but I guess I'll have to wait. Great chapter, though!
3330290
Thanks for the feedback. I tried really hard to make sure that it works well and it's good to hear that it's working
3330290 gonna have to agree with you on that one bro, no im wondering what this important thingy is, maybe at some point luna's unconcious and nightmare comes out to give details on a important plot device foreshadowing thing.....hmm..............
Nice work! More please!
Should be:
3330776
Ah, thanks man
Any other thoughts?
(Yes I know I'm an opinion addict)
3330786
Progression is good and Sarah not questioning too much is nice. Feels like I'm playing the game with 5 or so Intelligence. Not really any gripes besides that error.
3330813
Great, that's actually what I was aiming on as far as her INT score goes, though maybe a 6 instead of a 5.
3330837
Once it progresses more and the character has some more personality and traits tagged to her, I might feel a 6. Right now, I feel about a 5. But, hey, that's just me, lol.
OH HELL YEAH!!!
Certainly interesting
Loving it so far.
Just blame it on magic and leave it at that. "How does that work?"- "Magic."
Its like Timmy Turner's Internet!
....
I need a bucket.
Personally, I think that the Nightmare will definitely be needed to help Luna cope with the savagery of the waste-land. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Holy mother of...
I always loved Fallout/MLP crossovers, but this is... different from the others. Most are Lone Wanderer/Courier in Equestria, but I've only seen a pony in the
Wasteland once or twice. This is pretty damn good. Makes me want to slap my computer until Fallout 3 starts running.
Interesting, keep up the good work and I won't sic the napalm land-sharks on you.
this is really good si far, and knowing your other stories I know I do not need to worry about this being bad.
I love that Luna is not so good and is together with Nightmare, and not simply imprisoned by her in her brain and being good and sad like little filly. I really like this version, but it is rather rare.
Quite well written and well thought out. What would be good would be a bit more descriptions of the environment, the little details like flying dust in long-unused rooms, splintering wood, the smell of gunpowder or generally describing the furniture and environment a bit more.
I can't wait for more, so I shall be sending some of my- What do you mean Lyra broke the portal? Fine. I'll be waiting for more chapters impatiently then.
Good. Very good.
Except for these two points;
The first is a matter of grammar. Her name is _not_ 'Princess Luna, of Equestria'. Her name is 'Luna', and she is a Princess of Equestria.
The title 'Princess of Equestria' is _not_ part of her name, therefore, when saying her name 'is' something, she cannot include it.
Think of this - if noble titles were abolished, would her name change? No, because she only loses her title.
The second is a matter of logic.If I were to get knighted, and then travel to America, I would still be a knight, and entitled to be called 'Sir'.
Leaving the country which grants you an honour does not erase the honour granted - otherwise, 'ambassadors' simply would not work.
Rather, what Sarah can say is that "we're not in Equestria, so therefore you're not _my_ princess." Or better yet "we're not in Equestria, so therefore you have no authority here."
And if you were lucky, he would have done it in that order.
3336251
This. Whether or not your current locale recognizes any title you may possess has no bearing on whether or not you possess that title. However, it's really a matter of semantics at that point anyways. Personally though, I read it somewhat differently than you did. I took it as more of a smart ass reply brought about by both skepticism that Luna is a princess, and pointing out that even if Luna *IS* a princess it doesn't matter here. It's not like there's a protocol for visiting royalty from Equestria after all. Her being a princess means as much in the wasteland as being a knight would mean in a riot: Nothing.
Another well done chapter, very good job ^^
Daybreaker, is the name of that sword I have in Skyrim! :D hehehe~
Luna is kicking some butt! I love it! nice show ^^
3330158 Hi!
this is AWESOME and dare i say it i like this more than fallout equistria
There wasn't any mention of any cuts in the previous chapter, nor does Luna/NMM act in any way injured by them. Considering the scratches are "covering" her body, she should be in pain from the sheer amount.
Luna/NMM doesn't know what the building is called yet, so calling it the Super Duper Mart from Luna/NMMs perspective is redundant. Also, missing either 'looked' or 'looked rather' between 'creature' and 'befuddled'.
Luna's a dick to brains, She could have just cast a translation spell instead of probing Sarah's brain, nor does it get explained what the spell did in fullest.
How is Sarah so blasé about saying that sentence?
How does something become so out of place you're not used to saying it?
You were coverered in scratches and you didn't feel ANY of them!?
If you had said that right from the get-go in chapter one, there would be far less confusion about where the hell Luna's sword came from.
Convenient as fuck
Golems are magical constructs made out of anything, much like timberwolves, so they're going to be rudimentary; period. Also, graceful has one 'L'.
I'm surprised she hasn't gone Nighty-Night already. How much blood has she lost so far!? Should've at least passed out...
Luna is in the HUMAN world, so saying 'raider stallion' is quite a serious cock-up
How could Sarah have possibly noticed a bullet being shot and have enough of a reaction time to knock Luna out the way!?!?
Once again, all weapons have iron sights on them.
Wait... Luna can see bullets moving? Her eyes must be a lot better at tracking fast moving objects than humans. A lot.
4754458 from my experience in the military, whenever we used a machine gun, I could occasionally catch a very brief glimpse of a bullet. Though it was much easier to see tracers :p
5717932 Respeto.
"on"
I might correct a couple other things I see, but since this story is so old I won't pick out everything spotted unless asked.
This conflicts a little with the show.
Wrong "to".
But this one has wings and must be defective, clearly. Time to return it.
4328138 I know this old, but the sword is called Dawnbreaker in Skyrim. Also, almost every story I read I see you in the comments section. Similar tastes I suppose.
As for the story, I'm lovin' it so far. As others have already said there have been some inconsistency with it, but nothing that has broken my immersion with the story. Take a like and a fav.
6419232
Nonsense wings mean it can fly and shoot lasers, that makes it more cool
your queen, you princess, your waifu
woona the pegacorn!
Thank the fuckin' Equestrian gods for Nightmare.