Luna and Nightmare Moon are transported to the Capital Wasteland during the final battle against her sister. Join them in their attempt to return home and reclaim her birthright with the help of a girl named Sarah, fresh out of Vault 101.
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Oh dear....
Celestia, I don't think you realise just what you have unleashed upon the world by introducing those two at this age. Needless to say, I think she may want to consider renovating the old castle as they are going to need to keep switching between the two as the other gets repaired....
Oh me and my dirty mind.
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/086/7/1/cat_tongue_by_lesha-d4u6mce.jpg
great chaper to read during my boring ass class, thanks bro
4304276 That... would make getting to the elements easier as well wouldn't it. I mean just imagine Celestia walking in on the work site one day, seeing the weird element holder thing and going "Ohhhhh That's where I put them."
Ed, I can't decide if you're doing this on purpose or if I just have a dirty mind... In any case, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for some eventual TwiDash now.
This seemed a bit out of character though, to be honest. I can't even imagine Twilight breaking out of detention, peer pressure or no, especially when Celestia was the one who put her there. She didn't even protest the idea at all. That was jarring to me.
4304523
She's a slightly different Twilight then the one we're familiar with, not by much, but there are certain things that make her brasher and a bit more arrogant then the vanilla Twilight.
That last line actually gives me the shivers. Twilight's brain and Rainbow's skills... Much potential pranking I sense. And I was honestly hoping the griffon lady was about to say, "I'm pregnant!!!" Because yay babies!!! And it would probably have caused a Royal Spit take if this was to be the first Pony/Griffon hybrid.
4304962
There are hippogriffs in Equestria already so it wouldn't get a Royal Spit Take, but Flora probably is pregnant by now, hehe.
we are nearing the end! NOOOOOOO!!!!!
Though I can imagine when Luna came back (either in grief or what, she won't come back to Equestria unless something to happen to Sarah that cause her to return to Equestria, or she was forcefully return with how Xantos almost succeded in returning her) and saying they have metal box that shoot star matter
I have to ask, if Sarah comes to equestria with Luna will there be a sequel I don't know about you guys but Sarah an luna facing off agains discord and chrisalys sounds awesome !
Theres an extra N on the end of the 'nononononono.'
Damn, you had me fooled. I though I would be taking a bittersweet trip back to Vault 101. But hey, the more horses the merrier. You started off the chapter well, with Twilight and Rainbow unsurprisingly butting heads. This was expected from the get go, but it was written charmingly, if not a bit trite and unimaginative. Then you introduced Legacy Tracer and Flora Strongwing, after which I immediately had a nerdgasm, since any pony/griffon couple is best couple. They were interesting characters for their minimal time, and it didn't feel like they were just stereotypical diplomats. Both were invested in and fond of each other's nations, which added some vestigial depth, which is always a plus. Of course, Twilight used her still underdeveloped magic and asploded all over the place. When Celestia confronted them, I couldn't help but notice a tinge of motherly instinct that was definitely not there when Twilight first arrived. Queen Bee has definitely grown more of a heart since Twiley arrived. Character development, hell yes .
But, I felt you took too many clichés and just stuck them in. I understand Rainbow Dash is the Element of Loyalty, but it would've made more sense to have them warm up to each other overtime, like a mutual interest in flight, but for different reasons.
TL;DR : Cute chapter, nice characters, but a bit too much cliché that makes this feel a bit like Equestria Girls. All in all, this chapter gets an Interspecies Not Lesbian Romance/10
This is a waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better meeting than in canon...
4306255
I know I leaned a bit heavily on the clichés but I did it in the interest of time. We don't have a huge number of Equestria chapters left and I thought I'd focus more on the after effects of them becoming friends then on the 'warming up to each other' phase.
Also, I'm happy you liked Flora and Legacy, they're inspired by a webcomic I like and I thought I'd do my best to transefer them into my Equestria and make them my own. And on a side note, she's pregnant with a hippogriff and doesn't know it yet
4307043 what web comic is that?
4307141
Starts kind of cruddy and gets a bit NSFW later on, but it gets better with every page or so.
http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=1
4307043
I can understand that. When I write I tend to rush the story along, so time is something I know should be kept aware of. As for that webcomic, can I get a link? I'm all for new things to read. And will this hippogriff be of major importance, or just an adorable ball of fluff?
4307754
Link: http://twokinds.keenspot.com/archive.php?p=1
I might find a way to inject the cub/kit (not sure which would be appropriate here) at some point, I hadn't thought of it till now, but I can see one or two places. It's nice having most of the Celestia chapters written weeks in advance, I can change them to my heart's content
4307794
Danke schön. It's always good to toss in some adorableness, and if you have these chapters done already, go bananas! It'll be a good read anyways.
4304552
I'd assume that due to Twilight and Rainbow Dash being together longer, and in far more formative years; that Twilight would gain a bit of Rainbow Dash's brashness and cockiness while Dash would gain a love of the Daring Do series far earlier along with a bit more of an appreciation for education in general.
All in all, I'd expect them both to be great friends and have a friendly rivalry with one another thus in theory driving Twilight and Dash to greater achievements earlier. However that will also mean that Twilight won't be an uber-goodie four hooves either.
So cool!
The character development makes me make funny noises in excitement!
4307043 Yay, babies!!! I can just see Twilight and Rainbow looking into the crib and getting baby sitting duty.
wait. Why did twilight call celestia master? That just seems kind of weird in my opinion.
Oh no, we have a dynamic duo here! Celestia had better put more protection wards on the castle...
Wait, Celestia knows there will be a third filly? Is it the hippogriff?
Keep going! ;)
4309396
They're Master Mage and Apprentice
4312766
Sif is a boss in Dark Souls 1, whose master and friend was called Knight Artorias. You are right about Spice and Wolf, though.
4304302
I had to stop reading and re-read that part.
Nothing like Friendship to star detention eh? X3 they're so adorableness! *squees*
Good show once more ^^ I wonder if Fluttershy Rarity and Applejack will show up in the castle? X3
Hmm, I have a serious question for you but I'll wait till the end of these chapter before I ask ya.
Keep it up man! ^^
“I’m sorry Master!” Twilight shouted.
Master?
4387725 On top of being Queen and subject, Twilight and Celestia have a student - master relationship as well.
4541458 Bow to your sensei.
BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!
incoming twidash! Brace for ship!
So.... Sunset Shimmer as Archmage.
yeeeaaa...... we are screwed.
4541458
It certainly could be taken out of context...
OMG, Trace and Flora! Didn't realize it was them until she fell on him and i had a sense of dejavu...
5171539 How are Trace and Flora in here?
Girffons should know better than to test Celestia
It was at this moment every parent in Canterlot flinched and is now called the great flinching
9119501
from what i read so far, they're only race that fought with the immortal sisters and able to kept their sovereign over their people.
they are definitely doing something right.