That fight was the single most painful beating I have ever endured. Give me a gunfight any day. First time I’ve actually regretted getting that Monocyte Breeder implant. It heals ya, but it won’t stop the pain.
The combatants had all been taken to the medical bay. The ponies there were shocked at the level of damage the stallions had received. At first they thought they had tried to catch a hydra, but when told that the biped that came with them was responsible, one of them fainted. The rest looked at him with a mix of respect and fear. They left him alone, partly because he was tending to his own injuries, mainly because they were worried he might do the same to them.
The Courier moaned in pain as he pulled the glove off his left hand. Now he could see just what damage he had done to it, he realised that it didn’t look as bad as he had first thought. Not to say it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t to the extent where only a medical professional could help him. “Wish I still had Arcade around,” he muttered. He pressed carefully on a spot on his chest, wincing as he put too much pressure on the intense bruising around his fractured rib. “Or even Usanagi.”
“That was an incredible display,” Luna said, approaching the Courier. “It has been well over a thousand years since I have seen such ferocity in combat.”
“You’re welcome.” It took a moment for everything she had said to click. “Wait. A thousand years?”
The princess nodded. “Hmm.”
He sighed and shook his head. “That really shouldn’t surprise me.” He opened a small leather bag and pulled out a frightening number of syringes. He jabbed one into his left arm and went for another. “This whole world has been nothing but strange.”
“I could say the same of what you have told me of yours,” Luna commented. “There is nowhere on this world that even compares to the violence and depravity you have hinted at.”
“You know what the sad thing is?” he asked, taking another syringe. “New Vegas is pretty peaceful and safe, compared to other places. There are whole ruined cities that are deathtraps. Old military bases filled with enough weapons to arm a small town and defended by killer robots. Super Mutants, feral ghouls, deathclaws...” He sighed. “Small miracle that Vegas is still standing, the way I see it.”
Luna looked away, retreating into her thoughts. She had never before considered that such places or things could even exist beyond the imaginings of fanciful ponies craving adventure. To not only hear that these things existed, but from someone who had seen them with his own eyes...
“If you’d ordered those guards to kill me, they would’ve succeeded, you know that?”
“You very nearly killed two of my best,” Luna responded coldly. She had seen the twisted laughter in the Courier’s eyes as he had mercilessly given them beatings that would have almost certainly killed lesser ponies. “Do not jest about such things.”
“They weren’t trying to kill me,” he answered calmly. “With their magical healing, I was able to give them everything I had. I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes in a fight to the death.”
With that statement Luna’s anger quickly gave way to curiosity. “How are you so sure of that?”
“I just spent half an hour getting the absolute crap kicked out of me. I’m just a walking bruise at the moment. I know how they fight.” He gave a shrug and winced. “Ow. Knowing your limit is important in the Wastes. I’ve seen idiots with blunt knives try to tackle Nightstalkers.” He pressed a finger against his knee and gasped. “That might be broken. Me fighting your three guards under orders to kill, it’d be a lot different than fighting them when they’re being ordered to hold back. If they went full strength I’d be deader than the Enclave.” He grabbed another syringe, this one definitely thinner than the ones he had just used. The contents rushed into his body and a look of relief came over him. “Another one of those should do it,” he said to himself before turning back to the alicorn. “You should be proud of them. I’m a cybernetically enhanced, mutated killing machine with a killcount in the thousands, and I wouldn’t stand a chance.”
No I didn’t just say that to make her feel better. Honestly, those ponies were all pulling their punches. If they were being serious, I wouldn’t be here telling you about it. Even more so if she’d put one of those unicorns against me. Radiation poisoning is not a way I want to go, thank you very much. Or ghoulification. Er, no offense.
The Courier’s first night was spent in the medical bay, two beds pushed together to provide him with enough leg space. His knee hadn’t been broken, as a quick inspection of his Pip-Boy’s medical tab told him but he did know that, from the pain, running was out of the question for a few days. When he woke up, it was to the ungodly lovechild of a hangover, a mugging and a rape all mixed into one condensed package that made his entire body sing in a twisted symphony of pain. The Med-X had worn off in the night, but he wasn’t going to use any more, regardless of how tempting it was. “The last thing I need is to get addicted again,” he muttered, not moving from where he lay.
“Oh.” He rolled his head and saw a pony, he guessed it was a mare, wearing a nurse’s cap and holding a tray up in her magic. “Y-You’re awake.” The Courier, unable to understand a word she was saying, simply tilted his head in mild confusion. “I, um, brought you some food.” She carefully set the tray down and scampered away as soon the metal clinked on the floor.
The Courier blinked, not used to such treatment. He shrugged and decided not to worry about it. He picked up the tray and looked at what was on there. An apple, a strange orange-coloured orb the likes of which he had never seen and... grass? No, it was dried and brown, like tumbleweed or hay. He knew for a fact that he’d eaten far stranger things, but there were three things he would not eat: Cram, dog steak (coyote steak was fine for some reason) and grass.
Pushing the dried grass to the side, he started with the apple. It was crisp and fresh, completely unlike the ones he’d find in the Mojave, if only because it took a long time for trade caravans to get to Vegas from the farms in the NCR that grew them. It was so good that he ate it, core and all. He wasn’t one to waste food.
Next was the strange orange thing. It was the roughly the size of grenade, but almost perfectly spherical. He was tempted to just bite into it, like he had done with the apple, but something told him that he shouldn’t. He pressed his fingers into it and, by chance, pierced the outer skin.
And so it was Princess Celestia walked in to the sight of the Courier, half-clothed, sitting on his bed, staring at an orange as though it was liable to explode in his hands. It was so absurd that she was forced to stifle a laugh. “Good morning, Thomas.”
He turned to look at her and groaned in discomfort. “Good morning, princess,” he replied, rubbing his chest.
“I heard of your fight yesterday,” she said calmly, moving to the still-unmoving stallions. The Med-X had put the Courier so out of sorts he wouldn’t have noticed if someone had stolen his boots, so he was surprised to see that their faces were as perfect as they had been before the fight. “My sister told me that it was an amazing display.”
The pain was making things a little hard for the Courier, but even he could detect the tone the princess was using. “You’d rather I hadn’t,” he stated.
“From the reports I received this morning from the medical staff, Captain Thunder Strike is lucky to be alive. The scope of the injuries you inflicted on him were impressive, to say the least.”
“Please, get to the point,” Courier said as politely as he could manage. “It’s too early to dance around the subject like this.”
“Very well then,” Celestia said, turning slowly to properly face him. “If I find that you are responsible for the death of any of my subjects during your time here, I will not hesitate to punish you. I know that our magic can be fatal to you.”
To his credit, the Courier seemed completely unphased by her threats. “Been a while since I got a death threat,” he commented. “You won’t have to worry about anything like that, Celestia. I told you before, I only take lives if I have a good reason.”
“That is what I am worried about,” the alicorn sighed. “Too many times have I seen those with good intentions become twisted mockeries of their former selves, becoming the darkness they sought to destroy. Too often have I seen nothing but bad things come of the noblest of intentions. And too frequently have I seen those who declare themselves heroes become villains.” She looked at him, not in anger or indignation, but with sadness in her eyes. “Do not lose yourself in fighting evil, Courier, lest you become the evil you set out to destroy.”
He went silent, taking her words into consideration. “I made a promise to myself, a few months ago. The day I take an innocent life, the day I kill someone without just cause, that’s the day I put a bullet through my own skull.” The princess seemed relieved with his answer. “Now what the hell is this thing?” he asked, holding the orange up.
The sheer ridiculousness of the statement caught Celestia off-guard, and she burst out laughing.
Author’s Notes:
Yeah. It wasn’t so easy for him.
I don’t think they have oranges in the NCR. Seems like the sort of thing that would’ve gone extinct.
UPDATE SPREE!
yes lifes greatest mystery......wtf is an orange?
Xd Make A Rhyme With Orange
Or maybe the oranges only exist in Florida anymore...
even pictures? that's just sad *sips mandarin juice*
784744 syringe , hinge
ok thats it we now need a song about oranges and/or fruit
why you might ask? .... why not?
here are some reasons as to why not
*will take alot of work
*can be difficult to make song about oranges(nothing rymes with em)
*writer would probably bang his/her head into the wall while making it
now as fr why we should?
*cause we can
oranges ..... they fool us all.
The lone wanderer's a ghoul?!
784817
Project Purity's control room was irradiated enough to kill his/her father. There are multiple places in the DC ruins that are so heavily irradiated half a minute there is fatal. There are multiple nuclear dump sites outside the city proper. And don't even get me started on Vault 87...
Fuck oranges, give me the GRASS! OH DEAR LORD, REAL GRASS!
Other than Cape Canaveral, I don't think that there's that many targets worth nuking, so Florida might still be around in something more resembling its pre-war state. So... That probably means the orange orchards are still around, though most likely have gone feral, and Pre-War cows are probably all over the place too, considering some of the largest cattle ranches are in northern and middle Florida.
784843
Brahmin ranches, and who's to say there isn't a military base or three there in the Fallout universe?
was playing Bew Vegas this morning, and it hit me
would Jason Bright and his followers land in equestria?
second question, is he chatting with Moira Brown or a ghoulified wanderer?
Now get it to say "Hey Apple!"
You need to introduce Zecora, just so that you can get her to rhyme with orange...
What? It would be funny... Okay, you know what?! I can have my own damned opinion!
-Jorofrarie
782642
1. I did not say they were trained to 'take out' manticores. I was indicating they were trained to _combat_ them. Even if they would only attempt such when greatly outnumbering it, such a situation would still require the individual soldiers to be able to ignore/act in spite of their fear.
2. This would not count as an advantage over the Guard, because the Guard would also be aware of those facts, and could do the same to him.
3. Okay, I'll concede that point.
4.Actually, his response to the first time they thought they broke his spine was to shatter someone's skull. No taunt. As such, the next time they think they have broken his spine, they should either retreat to a safe distance, or continue the assault.
8.This justifies the times when he is using VATS. What about the times when he is using the GRS implant? And considering the game mechanics concerning VATS, the majority of the times he moves at those speeds should be GRS.
Your final point is completely true. What I am arguing is that he should not have curbstomped them with the apparent ease with which he did.
Wouldn't it be awesome if he could fire off "ARCHIMEDES 2"? Maybe its been retro-fited into the orbital friendship cannon....
static.techspot.com/fileshost/newspics3/2010/fallout-newvegasdeathray.jpg
Oh - it updated again. When did that happen?
Anyway, thank'ee kind ser for this lovely appellation to your story. Much obliged.
And the orange - . Nice.
785007
But Archimedes is an Earth orbiting canon created by humans in........
Fuck it.
Ponies.
784744
Orange, orange.
BOSS
785041 I honestly thought the same thing, but then was like "seems legit"
785042
img.auctiva.com/imgdata/1/5/2/1/8/5/4/webimg/521985393_o.jpg
785058
I saw that shirt and was all like: "SWEDEN! LAND OF AWESOME! AND SWEDISH MEATBALLS!"
785007
I SEE THE LIGHT! IT HAS...Pinkie?
Hey hey, what is she doing with that- AAAAHHHH HOLYSHIT PARTYCANNON!!!!
Oranges, how do they work!?
Fallout's most badass human.
His one weakness- Magic.
You mean to tell me this orange grenade is EDIBLE!? Oh, wait. It's not a grenade?
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS!?
785063 Go Epic Meal Time on those meatballs! Onions! In. His. EYES!
B.T.W. tony1685, apparently, it's a rule of the internet that you become successful when people can't stay on topic in your comments section.
Therefore, i feel it is fitting to say,that this story, is all wins.
785099
SMORGASBORD TO THE MAX BRO(NY)
BROHOOF TIME? /]
785108
[\
785075
Congrats on the most epic 800th comment i've seen
785007 My accursed C-Finder is bugged U.U... when I fire it aims... and nothing...
then it aims again and again...
Finally it blasts off in my head...
784827 Well, it makes sense that the Lone Wanderer should be a ghoul, considering all the places with heavy radiation he's been too. There is, however, a few problems with that. One, the DC Brotherhood of Steel didn't kill him when they found him like that. Remember, they've been taking potshots at any ghouls that stick their heads out of Underworld, just to be sure no ferals come out, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to kill him as well. Two, it's contradicted by his appearance during Broken Steel. If his face is bare, you can see that he isn't a ghoul. Unless he's some new kind of ghoul that looks like a perfectly normal human, which is unlikely to say the least.
ALSO! I'm pretty sure that the Courier is selling himself just a bit short. In an actual battle, he'd probably still come out on top, as long as he fought smart. As far as unicorns go, he'd still be screwed of course, unless magic isn't actually radiation and is just confusing the Geiger counter. But you've already said that it is, so yeah.
785135 are you sure your not firing the mentos gun?
halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/halolz-dot-com-fallout3-mentos.jpg
(ironic its the same pic from the last chapter, no?)
785162 Ahh, I KNEW that drinking that nuka-cola was a bad idea...
Well at least he respects the Night Guard. And Celestia giving a death threat? Harsh, after all it was Luna's idea and thanks to the amulets he cut lose.
I wonder how Celestia would react to Joshua Graham's story if you redeemed him in this storyline.
Sir, I'll have you know that I live in a place called Orange County. California. Plenty of 'em around where I live.
If my memory serves me correctly, I recall Doctor Hildern (At Camp McCarran in New Vegas) mentioning oranges in his speech about how the wasteland could grow again (speech leading up to There Stands The Grass.) So the NCR has oranges, but I guess they don't survive the trip to the Mojave, and thus the Courier would have no chance of seeing them..?
782969
Well, of course there has to be an ancient race of beings with more tech and a violent disposition. Everyone loves an underdog story, and noone wants to hear that we are the ones who go and annihilate entire civilizations (except when it's against other humans. Then it's okay, because we've already done that). But I do agree - I prefer the idea that we are big, bad and violent enough that the only thing that can kill us off is ourselves.
Okay - you refuse the idea that they have abilities simply because they are the EoH/bearers of same. Fine - I can work with that. What they are is a diverse team which can apply at least one specialist to almost any situation. A good ruler would recognise this and use them for the benefit of the nation.
This is true. However, her special talent is _magic_. It can be taken as read that a pony is highly skilled in areas pertaining to their 'special talent', yes? As a pony specialising in 'magic', she should be able to power almost any spell not requiring more than two unicorns. Her wide repertoire of spells would also make her an incredible opponent. Yes, she might struggle to cast a better shield spell than someone who specialises in defensive magics, but outside of their field of expertise, they would be no better than the average unicorn, whereas Twilight would still be at a high level of functioning. I realise that isn't quite what 'powerful' means, and I apologise for the confusion.
As for 'mainly with strategy and knowledge' - she levitated multiple large objects, manipulated multiple fine objects, and all at a distance of several hundred feet or more, probably much of which was out of sight.. That would require large amounts of skill _and_ raw power to do. Yes she was struggling, which would indicate this is somewhere near her limits, but this still speaks quite strongly of her powers.
Ah - no. We know why she was accepted as Celestia's personal student - she displayed incredible power at her test. This cannot be 'because she is the Element of Magic', as you are denying that that grants them special abilities. I do not claim TS is anything other than a powerful unicorn. How powerful she is, exactly, is for the author of the work to decide.
I would question your definition of 'god'. The Greek and Roman pantheons were called gods, but they were merely people of incredible power, and were difficult to kill. As for their godhood coming from the elements, please try to be consistent. You deny that the elements grant their bearers any power, yet now claim they created alicorns? And as for their power being the result of a spell - it is possible. As I said, they are deities of the Greek/Roman level - _not_ omnipotent, omniscient, transcendant beings. Simply Ponies with _incredible_ power and apparently unaging to boot.
Yes, Celestia, got defeated by Chrysalis. She also got defeated by Discord and needed help against NMM. These are all what we would consider 'god-tier' opponents.
And do bear in mind, AoE spells would run the risk of harming her people, no matter how much effort she expends on controlling the fallout.
As for the creatures - they were all taken care of _because the M6 had specialist knowledge/skills_. Except for the hydra, you're right about that.
Fluttershy appears to be some sort of expert in psychological manipulation and veterinary practices, Twilight recognised the Ursa was a baby, and therefore susceptible to being put to sleep, and the diamond dogs did not so much get tricked as discover their prisoner could hit the perfect note to cause extreme discomfort - and were then blackmailed into releasing her.
As for the Wonderbolts - That is one interpretation, yes. But even then, only _three_ Wonderbolts assaulted Spike. I highly doubt three highly trained commandos can successfully take on a rampaging dragon in CQC.
And 'sending in 6 rural ponies'. You need to go watch the show again. There are three instances where Celestia has requested their services - the dragon in 'dragonshy' with Discord, and with Chrysalis. In the latter two, it is simply because of their affiliation with the Elements. It is not so much 'the military is useless' as 'they never ask for backup'. There are only two instances where the military unquestionably is defeated, and one where it depends on the affiliation of the ponies involved. As you say, the Wonderbolts get owned by Spike, and they may or may not be military. The Guard get swatted away by Nightmare Moon, which is understandable as she _controls the moon_. She easily has enough power to do so. The situation where the guard lose the siege of Canterlot is not a case of their being inept at all. Their strategy relied on Armour's shield to defend the city, with their forces defending the entrances and the wedding. The wedding guards would have been dispatched simply because they were being assaulted from within and without. The guards at the perimeter would have had to fight their way _back inside_ the city, because, as you say, the changelings zerg rushed them, and completely bypassed the main defences. Even if they had not, sheer numbers can prevail against even the most effective defences.
'They didn't show anything like that so don't make things up'
Oh, hoh, hoh! Are you denying logical extrapolation from the source material? I wouldn't do that if I were you. Few of your arguments about situations are supported by canonical sources. There is nothing in the show to indicate the Night Guard exist as more than a two pony unit, that the Wonderbolts are in any way affiliated with military, or that Celestia is a manipulative schemer who planned out Twilights life from the moment of their meeting. You may choose to believe that some aspects of the show are exagerated for comedic purposes - but that is no more valid a belief than the idea that the show must be taken literally. Feel free to have a different view - but don't attack my views on the same grounds that destroy yours.
As for that spiel of plot devices you just ran through, I can't decide if that was an attempt at argumentum ad ridiculum, or just a list of really bad story elements you have come across.
When I said projectiles, I was referring to their ability to use telekinesis to throw things - not to some sort of 'magic bullet' spell.
As for the Courier/Discord, what you seem to be describing would appear to be more sadism than brutality. And as for who would affect who worse, I am of the belief that mental torture is worse than physical. Obviously, that is my opinion so feel free to disagree there.
Actually, the pegasi were described as having 'barely enough energy to take wing'. So they _could_ fly, but they wouldn't be doing any fancy maneuvres whilst doing so. As for fighting for half an hour.... I really do think that time should be extended. Both the Courier and trained soldiers should have more stamina than that.
None of the high level threats have desired the death of the ponies. NMM wanted to rule them, Discord wanted to torture them, and Chrysalis wanted to harvest them. And all three have gone from 'hah, I win' to 'damn, I lost' before any of them had the chance to react - considering their objectives, they would only kill if forced to, and by the time it becomes necessary, they have already lost.
... I fail to see how Twilight's capacity for killing is relevant here, as the situation is strictly CQC non-magical, but even were she capable of doing so, she is not a soldier, and whilst she is likely to have been trained to defend herself, I doubt she would have been moulded into the mindset necessary for killing.
Again, my complaint is not that he won, it is that he won with apparent ease. Reading the fight, it feels as though he is barely expending any effort. A large portion of the fight occurs offscreen, and that is the section in which the Guard displayed some efficacy. Unfortunately, that does not really work, as the overall feeling of what has been read is that the Courier curbstomped them.
images.wikia.com/youtube/images/2/2a/Real_Annoying_Orange_avatar_1.jpg im sorry had too dont hate me
784847 In all honesty, It could be that there Isn't just the Courier and Wanderer. Could be all their companions together. No offence could be Directed to Raul or Charon or both.
You update so fast!
Always enjoy this story, good job.
785577
...i actually forgot about those two, the only followers i seem to get are either supermutants, dogs or members of the brotherhood of steel
785080 MADNESS? THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAA lol
WOOOO FUCK YEA!!!!! UPDATE SPREE!
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/yes-moar-of-that-biden.jpg
WE DEMAND IT!
I second comments for moar updates!
785433 The elements are weapons that can only be activated by their bearers. Without them they don't have their powers. What special abilities have the elements granted them? No, we know what Celestia told Twilight, that's all. For all we know, her intention and her manipulation sending her to ponyville for the elements means she knew. What a coincidence that she was tasked on talking to the other bearers...
For them creating alicorns, I was just throwing ideas around, not stablishing a fact. Here is an asspull, the elements require 2 unicorns, 2 pegasu adn 2 earth ponies to work in harmony, they morphed Luna and Celestia to fit those roles. Wasn't necessary with the mane 6.
I present my point as hypothesis not facts, I admit it. There is a difference between taking ideas shown in the show and analizing them, (which is fine, the fandom wouldn't exist otherwise) and grabbing a simple sound effect and using it to justify military progress. I remember an episode of another show in which a pillow made the shotgun sound in a pillow fight, that must CLEARLY mean the pillow is capable of shooting slugs.
Saying the Wonderbolt are the airforce is simply because that's what they are intended to be, or at least like the pilots that put shows. I don't remeber saying the Night Guard has more than 2 ponies, though I do mention in context of this story. For Celestia being a manipulator I admit that's an exageration.
I sare say Twilight is more about skill at learning and using magic than raw power, thought yes, she is stronger than the average pony.
Please don't exaggerate Fluttershy's skills, she takes cares of animals and talk nicely to them. maybe the veterinarian part is right, but the psychological expert is pushing it.
Or the Princesses. Luna did show some cool powers over the weather, and Celestia can dispell Twilight's mind spells, but NOWHERE do they say they are the sun and moon incarnated capable of burning cities and that they don't do so for some reason, so that's it for the AoE spells. She got overpowered by Chrysalis, got beaten. She didn't draw power from the sun or something, she didn't burst into flames. "Oh but the greeks are only strong people". That's a problem, everyone interpret gods differently, specially in our mythologies and religions, but in the show their powers and roles are stablished. As far as I can see, they are not in the level of destructive power of the greek gods. they might have the power to move the sun and the moon, but that doesn't mean they can do anything else with them.
You tend to get more tired when you bones are shattered multiple times, and when you fight with broken ribs, all while nursing fresh scars from body transplant, recovering from poisoning and radiation damage. Those things to get people tires...
Then again I'm overanalizing a childrens show about ponies. Plus he didn't won't easily, just that he didn't show as much damage as the ponies. It's mentioned he has a broken rib, many bruses, is tired and then int his chapter that eh would have lost if they didn't hold back. It's just that he is more brutal in sparing than the ponies, after all they can heal with magic so little point in holding back.
This chapter made Scootaloo have a seizure.
pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133445670753.gif
784799 Door Hinge
785458 ah evil orenge deamon face thing kill it with fire with FIRE I say
786496 i haz flamethower will it suffice
786512 No it requiers thermite or White Phosphorus maybe a small nuke