Thomas slowly opened his eyes and immediately wished he hadn’t. The sun seemed to shine on him with murderous intent, sowing pain and agony through his brain. He shielded his eyes and looked around the room. Nothing seemed extraordinarily out of place, though he did wonder as to why he was completely pantless.
He pushed himself up and felt his right hand come into contact with something warm and fuzzy. He looked around and saw that he was touching Princess Luna’s neck. “So that did happen,” he muttered calmly. This calmness disappeared when he noticed that her mane and tail were flowing like on an invisible wind, and he fell off the bed as he tried to get away. “Oof!”
The sound of the man hitting the floor was enough to shake Luna from her tenuous slumber. “Oh my head,” she groaned. “Never again.” She looked around the room and blinked. “Wait. This isn’t my room. Where am I?”
“I think I landed on my Pip-Boy,” the Courier muttered in pain from his place on the floor.
Luna’s eyes went wide and her ears shot up when she heard his voice. “Oh no...” she said quietly. “I didn’t...” she whispered as she crawled over to the source.
“Oh, we did,” Thomas replied. He pushed himself up carefully, rubbing the bruise from where he had landed on his Pip-Boy. “Though I can’t exactly remember much in the way of details. I do remember screaming, though,” he said from where he was seated on the floor.
Luna’s coat seemed to turn about ten shades paler at that last comment. “Oh me... Please tell me I didn’t...”
The door to the room creaked open, and the head of Princess Celestia made itself visible. She looked around the room, her gaze stopping on her sister and the human. Thomas instinctively brought his hands over his crotch. Luna’s expression became one of complete horror when she saw the sly smile her sister had.
“Luna, I won’t question your taste in bedroom partners, but do try to keep it down,” she said. “Other ponies do need to sleep.” The indigo alicorn turned so red she thought (and hoped) she would spontaneously combust. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to contact a few glaziers.”
As the door closed, Luna smacked her head into the frame of the bed. Repeatedly. “Why why why why why!?” she asked, each word punctuated with a crack as her skull connected with the wood.
So, apparently, we were at it so hard her screams woke up every single pony in the castle. And broke more than a few windows. You have no idea how awkward I felt.
Anyway, after that, I went to breakfast. Yes I had clothes on, what do you take me for? Luna just teleported straight to her room. I guess she was too embarassed. Yes, very funny.
To say that the meal of the day was an awkward affair would be like saying that space is cold. Technically true, but so very lacking in detail and depth. It didn’t help that most of the other ponies seemed to only be half-awake, with the guards present seemingly traumatised. Luna and Thomas did their best to avoid each other’s gaze as they ate in silence. Celestia, Twilight and Applejack watched the pair, the latter two in confusion.
“So, I trust everyone slept well?” Princess Celestia asked the room at large.
Princess Luna’s eyes went wide and she gulped. No. Her sister was not doing this. Surely not.
Twilight Sparkle noticed her reaction but said nothing of it. “Fine, princess. I think I heard somepony screaming, though I may have been imagining it.”
“Nah, Ah heard it too,” Applejack said. “Whoever it was, they were mighty loud.”
It took all of Luna’s willpower not to teleport to the moon and hide there for the next century. Oh, relax, Lulu, Celestia said telepathically. Luna was sure she could feel the mirth. There’s nothing to be ashamed about.
There is when you wake up the whole castle, Luna shot back. Why did you let me drink so much? You know how I get.
You seemed to be enjoying yourself, Celestia replied, sipping from her glass of orange juice. I wasn’t going to take that away from you.
I rather that you did and save me from humiliating myself, Luna grumbled.
Oh calm down, Lulu. They won’t begrudge you for having a good time.
Like the councillors did when they found you sandwiched between those two Diamond Dogs? Luna replied.
Everyone got a shock when Celestia’s face turned a bright red for no apparent reason. We agreed not to talk about that! Celestia yelled hotly over the link.
Luna’s expression went from annoyance to joy a little too quickly. Shall I tell them, Tia? Tell them that their virginal princess is anything but? she said nastily
Don’t you dare. Celestia’s telepathic ‘voice’ had become dangerously low, the kind of low best associated with murderous rage.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Luna replied evilly, echoing her sister. Just relax.
What I did over a thousand years ago is not their concern! Celestia looked away from her sister, trying not to let her win.
So you have moved on from Diamond Dogs? Luna asked innocently. Is it griffons now? Or perhaps minotaurs? Heavens forbid, not your own guard, surely?
Celestia mentally spluttered as she scrambled to construct a coherent response. Before she could, her sister shot another remark her way, one that pushed her over the edge.
Please tell me you haven’t been abusing Shape Shifter’s cloning spell, she said, sounding slightly disturbed by the very notion.
ENOUGH! Celestia screamed over the link.
While the princesses had their little ‘discussion’, Applejack and Thomas were having one of their own.
“Ah wanna say Ah’m sorry. Yer a right decent sort, and it was wrong of me to judge you so harshly.”
Thomas blinked. “I was not expecting this. Er, thanks?”
“It’s just that, when Ah saw you fight those Dogs, it was like a completely different pony. Ah thought that it was just an act, the way ya were before,” the farmer admitted. “Ah couldn’t rightly see how ya could be so kind, and so darn scary as well.”
The Courier sighed. “To do what I do, you have to be a bit two-faced. In a fight, it’s a completely different part of me, one that enjoys it. Doesn’t help that when I have a job, I kinda get a little... caught up in it. Only reason I went after Benny in the first place.” Applejack tilted her head in confusion, not knowing what he was referring to. “And when the job means I have to hurt people... I try to make it as quick as possible. I don’t want to know what’ll happen if that other side stays in control too long.”
Applejack was silent, taking all that in. She could see where the man was coming from. She didn’t really understand, and doubted she ever would, but she could tell that every word was sincere. He spoke nothing but the truth.
“If’n ya don’t mind me askin’, why did ya react so badly to those Dogs?” she asked. It was something that had bothered constantly, and she wanted an answer.
He stayed silent for so long she thought he wouldn’t answer. “Just after I found Benny, I was offered a chance to talk with Caesar, the man who commanded the Legion. I decided to go, simply because I wanted to know what I was dealing with. Knowledge is power, and all that,” he said, gesturing aimlessly with one hand. “Anyway, I got to The Fort, and they took most of my weapons. I came across a young girl, about ten I think? Her name was Melody. She told me that all she did was tend to the animals. But the way she said it...”
All the ponies had gone silent, even the princesses, having finished their little argument. They watched the Courier intently, waiting for him to finish.
“I talked to her a bit longer. What I found out, what she told me...” He sighed and lowered his head. “I went and killed the guards and got my weapons. Then I killed every single soldier in that camp. When I got to Caesar, I put two holes in his head before he could even open his mouth. His guards didn’t last much longer,” he finished, his voice so full of malice that even Celestia was shaken.
“What inspired you to create such a bloodbath?” Luna asked.
“They were raping her,” he replied darkly. The ponies gaped at the news. “She was only a child, and every night, one of those sick bastards would force himself onto her.”
“And ya thought...” Applejack’s voice trailed off.
“I thought your sister and her friends were going to go through that same ordeal,” Thomas said, finishing her sentence.
“What happened to Melody?” Twilight asked, unable to imagine what could drive a being to do something so wrong to one so innocent.
“I took her to the Followers of the Apocalypse. They try to educate people about the best ways to survive. Medicine and such,” he explained. “I didn’t know if they would be much help, but there was nowhere else to go. Last I heard, Melody was helping run errands for the Followers in Freeside.” Thomas smiled. “She seems so much happier now.”
“That...” Luna didn’t have a chance to say any more because at that moment Rarity decided to walk in.
“Twilight? What are you doing here?” the purple-maned pony asked.
“What do you mean?” the lavender bookworm asked back. “I’ve been here for about half an hour.”
“But I just saw you walk into Fluttershy’s room,” Rarity explained worriedly.
“Courier!” Luna exclaimed, rising from her seat.
“What?” he asked, still a little caught up in the story he had just finished recounting.
“Come with me!” she ordered.
Surely you can wait, Lulu, Celestia said teasingly over their link.
We may finally have a link regarding the theft, and all you can do is joke? Luna replied venomously. This is no time for such things.
Celestia blinked, unaccustomed to hearing such poison in her sister’s words. But, the younger princess had a point. Of course, Lulu, forgive me.
“What’s going on?” Thomas asked, still confused as to what was going on.
“We may finally have a suspect regarding your stolen belongings.”
“Really?” Thomas asked, jumping up from his seat, sounding the liveliest he ever had. He cracked his knuckles in a threatening fashion. “About fucking time.”
So, off we went to Fluttershy’s room, the five of us. I’m not used to having so much back-up. It felt good.
Well, we got there and, fucking strangest thing I’ve ever seen, Twilight was talking to Fluttershy. But Twilight was right next to Celestia as well. I knew these Changelings were capable of that, but I never thought it’d be so flawless. At least, until the other Twilight saw us and her eyes turned green. And I mean “radioactive waste” green, complete with glowing. I get the feeling that it was going to attack us, but I never gave it the chance.
Punching one of those things is like punching a radscorpion. But they go down pretty easy, it was out like a light. Let me tell you, those fuckers look weird. They stand like the rest of the ponies but they’ve got this black shell - carapace? That’s the word? Well, yeah, one of those. They have strange holes in their legs, no idea what they’re for. No, they go all the way through. Wings like the ones off of a bloatfly, a jagged pointy horn and... Oh boy the eyes. You’ve seen a cazadore’s eyes, right? Well, just like that, but blue. Like, sky blue. It was creepy.
No, the weirdest part was the fact that, somehow, despite the fact that they’ve got that solid carapace, the face was just as expressive as the ponies’. I dunno, maybe there’s so many small plates or something. We didn’t dissect it, what is wrong with you?
Author’s Notes:
I don’t really have anything to say.
Enjoy, I guess?
Also, my co-author/proofreader disappeared before I could get his opinion on the latter half, so expect that to suddenly change.
Another well done chapter and I believe im first...
second!
1003651
Let me get the cannon ready. I need to set the destination...
SELECT DESTINATION
> MOON
> SUN
> TARTARUS
At first I was like:
AHAHAHA!!! HILARIOUS!!!
Then I was like:
They fucking did WHAT to that girl!?
And finally I was like:
Ooh yeeaah. Prepare for the interrogation of death, Changeling. You're gonna get no love from him.
Good chapter keep it up!
I love it when then Courier is talking to the Wanderer. Keep it up please.
Disecting the LW is obvioulsly found the pre-Fall X-COM Handbook
Don't fuck with the Courier.
Im going to say this is one of my fav chapters so far cant wait for the next
This brightened up my morning. Especially the telepathic dialogue between Luna and Celestia.
Truly, the sex scene... just really didn't need to be done. NO need to 'go there', for all the Luna/Celestia telepathic conversation was amusing.
i.qkme.me/3ox9d8.jpg
The best chaptor in the history so far. Keep up the good work!
dl.dropbox.com/u/12875849/reactions/1312845612125.png
This is going to be good.
Let's make an example of this one!
Great chapter! Get next chapter done NAO!
i wonder how the courier will torture the changeling....
[img] http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0805/interrogation-demotivational-poster-1210212016.jpg [/img]
after reading chapter 22, i was considering putting in a comment something like: I swear to god, if 23 is a cliffhanger, I am getting out the grenade launcher I hide under my pillow. (for close encounters) But then i thought, 'nah, tony wouldn't be that mean.
all I can say is this:
1003674
What about Luna then? Anyway a screamer with the RCV ... yup traumatized guards all around.
And now we gotta wonder how badly will things turn out for the changeling they caught. Considering how pissed the Courier was about the theft.
I'm just going to patiently (hahaha no) wait for the next chapter....
are you done with it yet??
>updatez
myfacewhen.net/uploads/3783-yes.jpg
SO FULL OF WIN. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Sergeant Teddy.
You let Benny live? Huh...didn't take Thomas do something like that.
Anyway good chapter and I feel sorry for the Changeling.
1003656 You..... You! YOU!
had to go and pick Melody as the prisoner/victim.....just had to didn't you.....
Meh, don't worry about it honestly, I just find it funny that I make an OC by the name of Melody who suffers quite a bit of the same stuff before being saved, then you show up with Melody.
Love the story though!
When i play Fallout if you have a slave you don't deserve to live
In fallout 3 when i found the Slaver camp i killed them all
when i saw the slaves in Caesar Legion i killed everything there
I am Judge -
I am Jury
I am Executioner
I am Courier
oh my god you killed benny .... yay
Love how Luna is a screamer. I find that smexy ≧﹏≦
We know that Thomas doesn't take chances when children are in danger, what villain is gona kidnap some kids and see how far Thomas goes.
Courier's gettin' it ON!
1003656
>Courier's Room
"You can't use magic thanks to the Princess, tell me where my things are."
"I only follow my queen, I will never talk!"
"I will make you talk." *Pulls out knife*
'Lulu' Priceless.
Have to say, I've been enjoying the hell out of this story so far. The little talk between Celestia and Luna had me grinning a little too much though...
Really though, if I have to make a complaint, I can't help but feel that the whole Courier/Luna thing feels a bit... forced? Maybe rushed is the right word.
While I'm all for the situation of the visiting character falling for one of the ponies, adds that extra tidbit of emotional stress when it comes time to leave, I still can't see how any logical reasoning would bring them both together like it has, even when it happened due to drunken merriment. *cough* *cough* Sure they had that little moment when they brought up their pains about the Divide and Nightmare Moon, but that comforting understanding really only seems like it would first cement a powerful friendship between them that the Courier wouldn't have with any of the other ponies. Especially since friendship is the biggest thing in the My Little Pony world.
And truthfully, I'm still a little on the fence about the Courier's breakdown when it came to the Divide. From the story so far, it does seem like you've been trying to give him a personality akin to what you can give him in the game, the little tie ins you throw in helping out a lot to see it. I just can't see the Courier being that distraught about what happened in the Divide.
Now correct me if I'm wrong, as it's been a while since I've played Lonesome Road, but it looked as though you never could express any real sorrow during the adventure. When talking with Ulysses, it only ever seemed like you could say "Okay sure, I blew this place to hell... now despite that, you shouldn't be such a dick about it." Either that, or put the blame on your lack of knowledge as to what would happen or just be outright confrontational with him. But it never really seemed you could be genuinely sorry about it. Granted, he did block out the memory of ever doing it, but I don't think that part was ever explained either.
All in all, I love this story, Can't wait to see how it continues, especially what comes of Luna and our favorite Courier.
I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW OF CELESTIAS SLUTTY WAYS GOD DAMN IT !!! I think I'm gonna be sick...
stuffblackpeoplehate.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/vomit.jpg
YED, YES, YES MAKE THE CHANGELING SUFFER BWAHAHAHAHAH
Heh sorry about that got carried away
1004558 Oh, that image is fuckin' lovely.
1003658 That pretty much sums up my feelings from this chapter as well!
Great update! Loved the telepathic conversation between Luna and Celestia.
Hooo, boy that changeling is going to wish that he had never been born
Uhmmm? Diamond Dogs+Celestia=?!?!?
Two diamond dogs?i.imgur.com/RjTGy.png
I bet the changeling will change into melody and that will send the courier off on a murderous rampage of death.
So Celly is a slut, and Lulu is the screamer to end all screamers? I LIKE IT!!! Also way to go Thomas, had a goddess, and made her scream. Man must be a god in the sack.
When someone pisses off the courier, this song comes to mind.
Biblical imagery is very effective at conveying just how badly that changeling screwed the pooch, because that's what the Courier's wrath will be. Biblical.
Great chapter! It was hilarious.
Reallllly hoping you expand apon Luna and the Couriers interaction after they slept together!
1003921
U mad?
1004192
A suicidal one, that's who.
1004466
My reasoning behind that is that Obsidian wanted to give you the choice of being a complete callous heartless piece of shit who didn't care, or remorseful like I've painted Thomas. To do that, they had to make the dialogue choices a little vague. There's also the chance that it hadn't really sunk in until after you stop Ulysses.
And rushed, maybe. Alcohol does things.
1004761>>1004936>>1004953
Well, a few millennia old, you'd get bored of normal sex too, I'd wager.
1005248
Like I said earlier, the Courier is a black man. Might be a little racist of me to say this, but he probably has 'equipment' that's the right size for a pony as big as Luna.
1004279
You know how I mentioned that the Courier can go a little two-faced when it comes to hurting people?
That includes causing PSYCHOLOGICAL harm.
1004953
Yeah! Two diamond dogs?
Why not three diamond dogs?
*Gasp*
Why not ALL the diamond dogs?!
1006052
Two things,
One: on your fourth comment, my mind went into overdrive. This is an accurate transcript:
Getting bored of regular sex.....
Requires or at least insinuates having a plot-load of it......
"virgin Princess".....
So.......
>>conflicting data has been found for Headcanon.doc
>>Initiate massive cover-up to maintain consistency? y/n
>>Cover-up.exe in motion....
>>New_Headcanon.doc "Celestia lied, a lot"
>>New_Headcanon.doc confirmed.
On fifth comment: That sent me on a manhunt that led to a lot of very awkward scientific inquiries. I will put it this way:
Luna is approximately on a scale of .85:1 in comparison to Celestia
About 1.5:1 to a regular pony.
Celestia is roughly the same size as an actual horse.
Meaning: Courier has a near-horse-sized........
-nuclear reactor is reaching critical levels of awkward radiation. Full meltdown imminent-
Reading way too far into things while waiting for updates is fun!
I guess when you're bigger than most ponies, you kinda need something bigger to satisfy your 'needs'. Plus I'm wondering why they haven't installed any changeling detection spells. You think after a massive invasion of the buggers they would have some kind of failsafe installed.
Courier: So, any questions so far?
Vault Dweller: Yeah, how'd you know the parts that were said telepathically?
way to go princess luna. and melody was abused????? i need to go burn the fort down. meet the pyro style.