• Member Since 2nd Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen April 30th

Dark Dienen


I commit acts of great evil so that which is good may flourish. I am shunned to the darkness and from there I stand vigil, ready to damn my soul to see the light take hold.

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Power corrupts yet for two brothers, their rule as kings has done anything but corrupt them. Wanting only to help those in need, the benevolent duo watch over the Crystal Kingdom in an age of light. But darkness still exists and these two brothers now face the threat of corruption they swore never to fall to. This darkness comes not from within themselves but from within one whom they trusted with their lives, their kingdom and the future of all Equestria...

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 10 )

There's a slight problem with this chapter when it comes to the Crystal King. His name seems to shift from Cold Stone to Crystal Quartz and back again.

5048345 Sorry, that's on me. :twilightblush: I thought I got them all. Thanks for pointing it out and hope you will stick to see where the story goes from here. :twilightsmile:

Did you re do the last few chapters? Because I'm confused. Feels like I've read this before.

It's probably best to put an authors note at the top of the first chapter you re did explaining what you did

5261006 If you've been following the work thus far, you have read this before. Allow me to explain: I'm taking the work that has been done thus far (and it is quite extensive I assure you) and bolstering it up a bit more, in addition to adding and shifting parts as necessary, with permission of course. What is posted here is what used to be the entire prologue and first chapter. You liking what's been done so far?

5273626 Yeah, I feel that it's more in depth then before (I can't recall what it used to be like all too well) but it's definitely good

So far the re-write is looking good

Nice. Looking good mate

Nice chapter, but there's one minor thing you may want to edit.

Darkheart became silence, the slight tingling of power residing in him.

I'm pretty sure that should be "silent".

Nice chapter, but the ending of it seems like more was cut off or you forgot ending punctuation.

Amazing prologue

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