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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm just going to come out an say this there is a ton of errors and mistakes that need to be fixed. Not saying that this fic is bad or anything just need editing an a lot of it. Dialogue gets its own line, there needs to be commas in some places that are missing it. Like "TWILIGHT RARITY" needs to be "Twilight, Rarity". Also even in dialogue there needs to be capitals and other such things. Please find someone who can beta read your next chapter and go back and edit your first.
4329895 thanks for your input i will have a talk with my editor about this thank you for bringing this to my attention
4329940 Not a problem, besides every author, no matter how amaze-balls they are has room to improve.
Don't worry... I'm on it!
Also I'm glad to see your story is doing good!
4333161
MOAAAR!!!!
The story is great, but the dialogue might need some help in certain areas.
Sounds interesting, Ima fave and follow. now, Off to reading land!
EDIT: Great so far, but you have some run-on sentences. There are also some spots where punctuation is in the wrong spot (before a word meant for the sentence that just ended).
I would quote them, but with my Vita, it'd take way too long.
4344328 Thanks for the like and fav and as for the editing problems we are currently working on that
4350415
Okay, and I don't mind the errors, it's just I spot them easily, being OCD towards these things
4350727 I'm new to writing so sorry about the inconvenience
You need an editor.
May I recommend sensei Key Ring?
4350747
Nah, it's all good. Youre doing better than me when it comes to writing.
4354476 i have a editor and i will say that if i had tried to edit this it would look awful iv spoken to my editor about the problems in this chapter and they said they will do a better job on the next one if not (and sorry herpaderp115 if you read this ) i will have to find a someone else
4354486 Thanks
4354661
No prob. My problem is, I rush things and accidentally add inconsistencies into my fics. I'm new to writing as well, and imo, am horrible at it (for now.)
4354693 i love to write i can make a story up rather quickly but i never was the best at editing them by the way have you wrote any fic's if so i would love to read them
4354717
Ive got two posted, but they're on haitus until I get over writer's block. Also, I need to graduate.
"not permitted to leave this world until all the dark souls that reside there are eliminated" I have a Chakan The Forever Man deja vu, hope it doesn't end like that.
It doesn't matter if you're the happiest person...
or an unfortunate weeper...
a powerful beast...
or a terrifying creature...
We're all equal in the eyes of The Reaper...
4370886 Well said my friend well said and that is rather good did you come up with that?
4370889 I copied it of off some other Reaper story
4370889 I don't remember the name though
4370894 :it sounded really good i would really like to use that on a certain part of this story it would fit perfectly with it but i better not
*Reading the description*
Use capital letters at the beginning of your sentences, for Celestia's sake
I'm not normally one to criticize too much, but that's pretty bad
4370954 I meant to fix that but i never got around to doing it thanks for the reminder. And i really don't mind critics
capitalize Creed, it's a last name therefore it should be capitalized.
Don't mean to be rude if it comes off that i'm trying to be.
4371019 Its cool
4370904 if you want you can use it, go ahead
Jesus Cryst kid, you need an editor or proof reader. If you don't have one, I am sure one of these guys would offer their help. If you DO have one, he needs to work harder.
Edited: So I barely finished the chapter and the ponies in the end seemed pretty docile to the human. Also, it's pretty cute how Sweetie Belle is somewhat one of the main characters.
Wall of text I could just barely make it through the entire chapter. Lovely story but seems way too docile for the ponies. Two things that need work detail and capitalization. Also please get a thesaurus it will help writing out a tonne.
Can you guys please cut back on the editing thing im trying my best to find a new editor so please tone it down some im having alot of trouble finding time to type the chapters as it is
4374054
Iight, I'm good with that. And awesome so far, dude. So, Sweetie is friends with the new reaper? nice. Anywho, Great story idea, I wanna see where this goes.
Would any of you guys want to edit the next chapter for me?
OMG I thought that rarity said to sweetie belle "show your guest your porn'' instead of it actually said
4376472 ?
Omg I'm so retarded
Lovin' it but you should get a proofreader.
No offense, your grammar is awful.
4377705 well thats just hurtful but i dont mind just please dont talk about the editing
4376017
I will, unless you already have someone. And I'll probably need computer access first. I'm on Playstation Vita.
4379183 ok im already done with the next chapter tell me when i can send it
4380441
I'll try tomorrow, okay? It's 8:04 pm for me, my mom has the computer, and I need to go to bed soon. This is my last week of school.
4380799 ok
4380808
Okay, I'll pm ya when I'm back from school.
I have to say that I like this story. It will be fun to see how the story go in the next chapters that you write. I do hope you have sum nice long chapter and they are out soon. So Keep up the good work you are doing.
Dragonfox
4395704 Thanks and as for the next chapter it will be out soon its in editing right now