The Pedestrian (Lucky)
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Where did I go wrong? I saw those golden eyes, her coy smile. In an instant, she was gone, like a wisp of a melody that echoed through my dreams. How could serendipity turn against me, and take away the precious gift it had so generously bestowed? Perhaps a mare is like a rabbit. If you mean to catch a rabbit, you musn’t try to grapple it. Instead, you have to win its trust, before you make your intentions clear.
Did I come on too strong? I scoffed at the very idea; I'll be damned if she didn't feel the same way. Things were going so well. I only wanted to tell her how much she meant to me. And yet, that selfsame action meant to affirm my love was the one that drove a wedge between us. Such an irony that words “I love you”, meant to convey the strength of our bound, could chase her away. If only she’d realized that she doesn’t have to be afraid of love, that she could open her heart to another. I must win her back, Celestia help me, if it’s the last thing I do.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
There’s a reason why my cutie mark is a clover and why my name is Lucky. I’ve always relied on serendipity, like when I met Lyra. Most stallions wouldn’t have the balls to start a conversation with the mare who's next in line, let alone continue on when they found out she was mute. Normally I wouldn’t either, but it was Thursday, and well, I felt lucky.
Cocky?
Very.
There we were, stuck in a huge line waiting to buy some anise. The line sure wasn’t moving anywhere. As fortune would have it, I was behind the most beautiful green mare I've ever laid eyes on. If I had ever felt cupid’s arrow strike, it was the moment I saw her. I managed to muster the courage to speak to her. “Well, uh, hi there. Are you new to town? I haven’t seen you around here before,” I said, moving up next to her.
I noticed she had a little note pad, attached to a string, slung around her neck. A journalist? No, what would a journalist be doing with a cutie mark of a lyre? She levitated a pen to it, and started scratching words down faster than I could keep my eyes on the bobbing tip of her pen. She brought the little notebook to eye level.
I moved here from Canterlot a few months ago. Have you lived here for a while? Her writing was a sight to behold, curvy and feminine. The same could be said about her other attributes, if you catch my drift.
I smiled. “Not talking? Cat got your tongue? I do have that effect on ladies, sometimes.”
She gave a silent chuckle. More writing. Something like that. What’s your name?
“My name is Lucky. What’s yours?”
I’m Lyra.
I squinted at the paper. "How do you say that? Lee-Ra?"
Instead of speaking, she once again sought her notebook. Lye-Rah. Lyra. Well cross my heart and hope to fly! She really didn't have a voice.
That’s how I met her. By the time she was paying for her fennel, I asked her out to lunch. She smiled demurely, and accepted my invitation. Can you believe it? Such a pretty little thing, with lovely golden eyes, and I was the first stallion to ask her on a date since she moved to Ponyville. Right then and there, in the market place, we grabbed some food. I brought her to that restaurant near the center of town, with the real snooty waiter. We sat down at one of the tables, and boy did we hit it off. I always had a sense for these kinds of things. She was a Canterlot mare, who moved to town little while after the Summer Sun Festival fiasco last year. She came here to make it on her own as a musician. I won't bore you with the details. Just let it be known that I was right and quick in courting her. Within the month, I was seeing her practically every day.
Every day I spent with her was like a pocketful of sunshine, even if her nosy roommate Bon Bon wasn't too fond of me. I didn't give a damn. I was in young and in love. I was on top of the world with her by my side. We spent every weekend together, exploring the streets of Ponyville, going to trips and festivals. I went to each of her concerts and recitals. I even surprised her at some of the practices. A couple of weeks before things started going south, she had even bought me a flute, and was going to teach me to play. Her friends were my friends, except for Bon Bon, but who's counting her? And no matter what, we always found a way to share a meal.
What do you mean? Of course I asked her to be my marefriend! It just took me a while to work up the nerve. No, it did not happen like that. If you must know, I asked her to be my marefriend on the day of Winter Wrap Up. Instead of clearing that field, I just plowed away the snow into a message for her. I managed to spell out Lyra, Will You Be My Ma, before Applejack saw me and nagged my ear off about my productivity.
She looked at my message critically. "What the hay is this?" Then her eyes brightened with comprehension, and she gave a knowing smirk.
I dropped the plow and blushed. "Umm..."
"Just be sure to actually clear the field once you show your fillyfriend, lover boy."
I finished the rest of the message, then examined my work. Lyra, will you be my marefriend? I pulled her away from her duties to show her my masterpiece. I still remember her expression when she saw it. My gut was tying itself in knots. She gave this huge grin, and then she nodded her head, and gave me a peck on the lips. I could have died and gone to heaven right then. I had everything I wanted out of life, a decent job, a place to stay, and the most beautiful mare in Ponyville by my side. Call me a Pegasus, because I was walking on air.
I'd had big plans for the future. I was fixing up this house I bought at the edge of town. It was big enough for a family. I was saving up some spare bits to buy her a ring. From the moment I met her, I was ready to make an honest mare out of her. Of course I didn't tell her about the house. At least, not initially.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Where did it all go wrong? It kept on coming back to the same question, and of course, the same answer. The moment the words "I love you" slipped out my mouth was the moment that it all went wrong.
We were ready to move on to the next stage in our relationship, to move in together. I decided to surprise her by bringing her to the house I was fixing up, and telling her that this is where we were going to be living from then on.
When I showed her the house, she told me that Bon Bon didn't want her moving in with me. I told her that it didn't matter what Bon Bon thought, and we could be happy here together. In retrospect, it wasn't the best time to force the point. She had been arguing with Bon Bon over it for the last few days. On top of that, she hurt herself while I was showing her the house.
I realized I shouldn't be adding anymore stress, so I got an ice pack for her eye. I brought her to a fancy restaurant, to help her get her mind off of the problem. I thought it would be a nice treat to go back to the same restaurant where we had our first date. The poor thing was nearly crying by the time we got there. She didn't respond to anything I said the whole time, and she avoided my gaze. I knew that I had to cheer her up, to make things right again, so I said what had been on my mind for a long time coming.
"I love you."
The words hung in the empty air.
She finally looked up at me after a painful moment of silence. First a look of bewilderment; and then, she started crying harder. She ran into the restroom. I was a nervous wreck. I know she was having a bad day, but I thought my expression of love would have made her day a thousand times over. I waited for ten minutes, nervously fidgeting with my glass of water. Eventually she came back to the table, but didn't sit down. She was flanked by one of her blue Unicorn friends who worked there. She levitated a note to me.
I have to go home with Colgate. I'll see you tomorrow. She didn't look me in the eye and she didn't smile. She just wore an anxious expression that seemed so ill fitting on a mare who is the embodiment of femininity. She had so much to be happy for: good friends, good health, and a great stallion by her side.
Beginning the next day, she became withdrawn. Then she stopped meeting me for lunch, she stopped telling me when she was having concerts, and she all together dropped out of my life.
Damn the words that ever left my mouth! Had I known what they would have wrought, I would have sealed my lips shut. If I had only known that she would have left me the moment our relationship was put through the smallest crucible. I should have known that heartless filly was a flight risk. The very instant there was something real, she left me, like the last five months meant nothing to her. After I gave her my heart, she stomped it into the ground. If anything, that unappreciative bitch proved she wasn't worth the mud I scraped off of my hooves. I curse her name, I curse it!
But how could I live without her? Lyra was the light of my life, and without her, I am but a night sky without my moon. My life without that precious green mare is only a life half-lived. We were so happy together, and there's no way for her to deny it. I need her just as she needs me. All I have to do is show her that she shouldn't fear love. I'm not such a bad guy. I just wanted to show her that I really did love her, and I was ready for the next stage in our relationship. If she wasn't ready for such a big step, I would accept that. Hay, we could start from the beginning for all I cared. As long as she's back in my life, everything will be okay. With Celestia as my witness, I will win her back!
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
I turned my head and groaned. Who the hell the was knocking on my door at two in the afternoon, and why were they being so persistent about it? Suddenly, I was struck with a glimmer of hope. Two in the afternoon was the hour me and Lyra always grabbed lunch together. Well, dinner for me these days. I kicked off the quilt, and jumped off the couch. "Just a second!" I called out. I ran toward the mirror in the hallway, tripping over a shattered lamp and an empty beer can. I quickly smoothed down my mane, and threw open the front door, heart thumping. "Lyra, I'm soooo glad to see you! I know that—"
"Terribly sorry dear, but it's just me, Rarity."
My heart sank like a stone. The white Unicorn smiled apologetically. "Oh hey, Rarity. Do you need something fixed?"
"Actually, I was having tea and biscuits with one of my acquaintances, and we would love to have you join us."
I looked at Rarity quizzically. "Why?"
"Is it such a crime to invite your neighbor over for tea every now and then?"
"The last time you invited me over for tea, you tried to set me up with one of your Pegasus friends."
"I can assure you I will do no such thing."
I sighed, and acquiesced. We made the short trot to her boutique. She led me into the kitchen, where she a had a table set for three, cups, saucers and teapot all arranged meticulously. I heard her hoof steps, and then I facehoofed. There the two mares were, my neighbor, and somepony I've never seen before. She was a tannish Pegasus, the color of coffee when you add just a bit too much milk. I glimpsed her cutie mark. Nothing terribly special, just a bowl with a spoon sticking out. She trotted up to me, enthusiastically. "It's nice to finally meet you Lucky! Rarity has been telling me so much about you!" I shot Rarity a glare.
"Aren't you going to introduce yourself?" Rarity said, jabbing me in the rib. I grumbled, and internally debated whether the proceeding awkwardness was going to be worth the free food. I recalled the contents of my fridge: a case of beers, some expired yogurt, and a rotting plate of hay fries. My stomach prevailed.
I sighed. "Yeah, I'm Lucky. Who are you?"
"I'm Oatmeal. I work at the store across the street from Sugar Cube Corner." She smiled at me, and flipped her mane back.
"Let's settle down, shall we?" Rarity chimed.
We made our way to the table and Rarity used her magic to pour us each a steaming cup. It smelled like anise. I sighed. Lyra would have loved this tea. Anise was her favorite, really anything that tasted like licorice. I wondered if Rarity would tell me where I could find it. At the very least, I could drop by Lyra's house under the pretense of wanting to share some tea with her.
After a few moments of gossiping with Rarity, Oatmeal turned towards me. "So Rarity told me that you're the human-tamer," she said, her blue eyes wide.
"You mean Jerry? he's just my assist—"
"You must be so brave, teaching the human how to fit in." The tan Pegasus batted her eyes at me. "To be in control of such a wild omnivore, you must be really strong too. I think that's it cool that you're trying to socialize the human." She smoothed her mane, and giggled. "You know, every mare loves a hero."
"Thanks, I guess." I took another sip of the tea. Maybe if I don't contribute to the conversation, she'll give up trying to flirt.
She looked at me expectantly. I said nothing. "I wouldn't object to having dinner with you."
That was certainly forward. "Sorry, but I don't think Lyra would like that."
Rarity sighed. "Darling, as much as I hate to admit it, I don't believe that Lyra sees the two of you as a couple anymore."
"It doesn't matter. I'm going to win her back," I said matter-of-factly.
Oatmeal and Rarity exchanged looks. Oatmeal's look was pleading; Rarity's was uncomfortable. Finally, Rarity cleared her throat, and began to speak. "Lucky, may I have a word with you in private?"
We walked out of the kitchen and into the boutique. "I may have been a little too discreet with my intentions. I invited you here so that you could meet Oatmeal, and start courting her."
"I'm not interested. I'm not going to go see other mares behind my marefriend's back."
"Does she still see herself as your marefriend?"
"It's a little complicated right now," I muttered.
"I'm sorry, dear. I just think that maybe it is time for you to move on."
"We're just taking a break." Rarity was beginning to tick me off.
"I just want you to be perfectly aware that Oatmeal has been asking about you for days. She insisted that I introduce the two of you. She would be crestfallen if you dismissed her without so much as a lunch date. Between you, me, and the floorboards, I think you and Oatmeal would make a lovely couple!"
"Didn't you say the same thing when you tried to set me up with Fluttershy?" I changed my mind. I should have just never have answered the door. As nice as Rarity is, she can be a real pain in the flank sometimes. I started looking around for the nearest exit.
"You weren't exactly amenable to the idea. I thought I might try again. Call me foolish, but I can't stand to watch an eligible stallion such as yourself mope around for so long, and all over some inconsiderate mare who broke his heart months ago! I think it's time you pick yourself up, dust off your coat, and get back in the game."
"I'm not moping!" I stammered. "I'm just, I'm just looking for a way to win her back."
"Win her back?"
"Yes."
"Win her back..." She circled around the kitchen, tapping her hoof against her chin. "You know, if I were Lyra, I would become uncontrollably jealous if I saw you out on a date with a beautiful mare. Say, like our lovely Oatmeal." That was certainly a stretch of the imagination, but Rarity had piqued my interest. She continued. "Just so jealous, I might start wanting you back."
"How can I be sure that Lyra would see us on our date? How does this whole thing work?"
Rarity gave an airy chuckle. "Haven't you ever seen Gone With The Wind? I'm certain you could rearrange your schedule to cross paths with her. I just happen to know that she walks down Horseshoe Lane at six in the evening. There just so happens to be a lovely restaurant on that street." She began telekinetically rummaging through a drawer underneath the counter. "Now it's a little pricey, but It's well worth it to impress Oatmeal."
"You mean, make Lyra jealous."
"Right, right. Lyra, jealousy. All that." She floated the menu to me.
I scanned the prices and grimaced. It was a really fancy restaurant; everything was written in elegant, loopy writing, and there were only a hooffull of menu items, the cheapest of which was upwards of thirty bits. This dinner plan, success or failure, was going to take a chomp out of my budget. But if it meant a chance to have Lyra be part of my life again... I looked at Rarity. "Are you sure this will work? What if Lyra just gets mad?"
"Darling, that's the intention. I assure you, this will send her flying into your hooves." She paused to look back at the tea table, and winked. "And if it doesn't, then you'll have a new lady friend. Either way, it's a win-win. So what do you say?"
I paused. "I don't know. If she doesn't get jealous, then she'll just think I've moved on."
"If she's anything like me, then she will be curious, if not jealous. The worst case scenario is that she drops by to ask you about Oatmeal."
"Okay. If it means that I might get a second chance with Lyra, I'll do it." Rarity squeed, and led me back into the kitchen. I took my seat. I put on a smile for Oatmeal. "Hey Oatmeal."
She flashed me an encouraging smile. "Yes?"
I gulped. Of all the ridiculous things I do for love, this took the cake. Here goes Operation Jealousy.
"Would you like to have dinner with me on Thursday?"
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Hoofsteps. I looked at the door knocker, and grinned nervously. Please don't be Bon Bon. Please don't be Bon Bon.
The door opened, and my heart sank like a stone. "What the hell do you want?" Bon Bon's shrill voice rang out.
"Hi Bon Bon. Is Lyra home?"
"No." I waited for a reply, but then I was alarmed to see her shut the door. I knocked until she opened it again. "What?"
"Well, isn't she normally home about now?" I tried to poke my head in to get a look inside the house, but I was stone-walled by her hoof.
"She's not here, Lucky. Go away." She gave me a murderous glare. If there was ever a mare that could spit venom, it was Bon Bon. What an unlovable wench. She seemed hellbent on foiling me at every turn. Part of me wondered if she wasn't just a changeling trying to feed off of Lyra's love. Trust me, if I could go my whole life without dealing with her, I would; but she was friends with dear Lyra, and thus she was a permanent fixture in my life.
“Well, do you know where Lyra is right now?”
"No, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you."
I was crestfallen; not that I expected any different. She was always like this when I came knocking for Lyra these days. "Well, when you see her, could you tell her I really want to talk to her?"
"If I say yes, will you leave?"
"If you take this note to her, I will." I produced my most recent letter, and offered it to Bon Bon. She took it without comment.
I began sulking away, but stopped and turned. “She’s avoiding me, isn't she?”
“Now what in all of Equestria gave you that impression?”
“Because, suddenly, she stopped dropping by, she’s never around. She won’t answer any of the letters I send her. What did I do wrong? Did I come on too strong? Was I not showing enough interest? Did she meet another stallion? Was it too early to say 'I love you'? God I hope—”
I was cut off by the slamming of a door, and the clicking of the lock.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump
I fidgeted uncomfortably. In spite of myself, I was a little bit nervous, even though I wasn't exactly sure why.
A teal mare opened the door. "Hello."
"Hi. Is this Oatmeal's house? I'm here to pick her up."
The mare broke into a smile. "Why yes, I'll tell her that you've arrived."
"Is that Lucky? Tell him I'll be down in two shakes of a lamb's tail!" Oatmeal called from upstairs.
"Come on in, we won't have you waiting out in the cold." The teal mare led me into the living room.
"So, are you Oatmeal's sister?" I asked.
"Practically. I'm her best friend. I was just helping her get ready. Can I get you a drink?"
"I'm good, thank you. What's your name? Mine is Lucky."
"My name? I am the one and only Cloudkicker. I've heard much about you!" I looked at her, nonplussed. "Oh rest assured, all positive." She looked me up and down, and then cooed. "Oh, what a lovely tie! It suits your coat quite nicely."
"Oh, thanks. My friend made it for me."
Just then, Oatmeal came into the living room, and I hardly recognized her. She was wearing an elegant wine colored dress, and she had her mane curled into ringlets, and pinned back. "Hello, Lucky, are you ready to go?"
I looked at her, not quite finding my voice. "Um... Hi. You look... good."
Oatmeal smiled. "You look quite handsome yourself." I looked down at my white button-up and tie. Compared to Oatmeal, I was remarkably under-dressed.
Cloudkicker fell into a fit of giggles. "Look at him, he's red as a tomato!"
The waiter took our menus and left the two of us at the edge of the terrace, the restaurant's namesake. I had maneuvered myself into the seat with the best view of the street below. It was already growing dark out, and I was worried Lyra wouldn't be able to see me on my date. As fortune would have it, each table had a lit candle at the center. Oatmeal was relating some story about her day. The light from the candles danced across her dress, and reflected from her eyes, so bright and blue in the darkness. I tried to keep a look out on the street, waiting for Lyra to show up, but my attention kept on wandering back to Oatmeal.
She owned a tea shop, she was telling me. She loved her job, but she always had a hard time since her cutie mark didn't match her intended career path. I forced myself to look at the clock tower: two minutes after six. Lyra should have passed through by now. I cocked my head to get a better view of the road. "Is everything all right?" she asked after a moment, and followed my gaze to the street.
"Uh, yeah."
She sighed. "I know you're looking for this Lyra mare. Rarity told me all about it. You're trying to make her jealous."
I felt a flush of shame. "I'm sorry... but if you knew, then why'd you agree to go on this date?"
She gave a simpering smile. "Two reasons. One, because I live for this sort of drama; the mind games, the pettiness, and seeing all of these histrionics surrounding love and romance. I love being part of Rarity's zany schemes. That's why I let her put me on these blind dates in the first place." I nearly balked at the idea of Oatmeal getting some sort of sick thrill from watching my relationship with Lyra floundering. Then, I remembered she was doing me a favor. Kind of. "The second reason is because I think you're rather dashing." She continued her gaze, but I couldn't help but notice her blushing ever so slightly.
I didn't know what to say. Oatmeal took a sip of her water and continued. "And if I didn't know any better, I'd think you fancied me as well." She looked down.
"I'm sorry, but I think I love Lyra."
"And if this whole scheme somehow works, you'll be with her. If not, we could always go on another date. A real date."
I began to feel her charm pulling at my heart. She was cute, but I had to keep my focus on Lyra, which was becoming more difficult with each moment I spent with Oatmeal. I didn't want to be a traitor to my true love. I sighed. "Okay, but try not to let your hopes too high. Lyra and I have a strong connection."
She gave the faintest grimace, and then composed herself. "Okay." She let her gaze wander idly for a moment, then she turned to me. "Do you see her yet?"
I squinted into the distance. Much to my surprise, I saw Jerry in his worn jeans and pink hoodie, coming this way. He saw me as he walked by and waved, drawing a chorus of nervous murmuring from the patrons and the waitstaff. I sheepishly waved back.
I was curious to see where Jerry was going at this time of day, but Oatmeal was simply fascinated by him. "Did you see that?" she whispered excitedly. "He waved to you! Did you teach him how to do that?"
"I didn't."
"I have to know, what's it like being the human tamer?"
I chuckled. "I'm not a human tamer, just a repair pony. Jerry helps me with some of my jobs."
She looked at me quizzically."And you didn't train to him to do anything?" I shook my head. "Then how in all of Equestria does he know how to fix things?"
"I'm not sure. When I first met him, I was trying to fix a water pump, but I was having a hard time turning the wrench and holding the two ends of the pipe together. Derpy Hooves came along with Jerry. Jerry used one of his hand-things to hold the ends steady while I tightened the bolt. At first, I thought he was going to eat me, but I saw how useful he was with his fingers and what not, so I offered him a job. He's been working for me ever since."
"And you don't worry about him trying to eat you now?"
"Not really."
"You're so brave," she said, batting her eyelashes. "I'll bet that you and Derpy are the only ones who could stop him from going on a rampage and eating somepony. You know, every mare loves a hero."
"He isn't quite as bad as most ponies make him out to be. He just wants to be accepted. You know, you're the first pony who hasn't given me crap about hiring him. I had to to start working at night just so fewer ponies would ask questions. Hay, even Twilight asked me if we should get rid of him. She thinks keeping him around is just asking for trouble. I don't see what all the fuss is about. He hasn't killed any other animals since he got here. "
"I would attribute that to your watchful eye. I'm hardly concerned about him trying to gnaw off my wings, especially with you making sure he doesn't misbehave. Although, having him around town certainly livens things up."
I was about to reply, when the human returned with none other than Lyra by his side. I couldn't imagine how they knew each other, or what they were up to. They passed by the terrace, without so much as a glance upward. My stomach was still doing somersaults from just seeing her. Jerry was animatedly conveying a story as they turned onto the street, and out of view. Oatmeal followed my gaze "Is that Lyra, with the human?"
I dashed out of the restaurant, galloping down the stairs. I stopped just before the corner, and poked my head around the building. They were the only two on the narrow alley, illuminated by a lone streetlight. Jerry was speaking. "So you would put the saddle on the horse, and then sit on the saddle. I've only done it a few times myself." How did he even know Lyra? Why were they walking so close?
I watched as Lyra scribbled something, and then tore it off of the pad. Jerry looked at the paper, and frowned. "Are you sure? I mean, I'm kind of big, I might hurt you," Jerry said.
Lyra grinned and nodded enthusiastically. I watched in horror as he vaulted over her, and straddled her back with his legs. She managed to take a few steps before buckling and sending both of them tumbling to the ground. They both laughed and dusted each other off.
My jaw hit the floor. I had no idea what to make of what I just saw. She just let a human straddle her back.... were they seeing each other? I banished the thought. There was no way that Lyra would even entertain the idea of dating an animal, let alone an animal that wasn't even an equine.
Then I remembered her smiling at him. The smile I hadn't seen in ages. I felt my gut twist itself into a knot again.
Jerry knelt down to wipe some dirt off of her face. Lyra gazed into his eyes, now at level with hers. For a moment they both paused. Just as quickly, Jerry looked down at his feet and got up. "We should be going. Your roommate is probably waiting for us right now."
I twisted my hoof into the ground. It was all I could do to stop myself from lunging at them. I couldn't bear to know that my assistant was looking at my mare like that, when she won't even look me in the eye. I saw the stray piece of notebook paper tumbling in the wind, and I snatched it up. That note, was so short, but it was like a punch to the gut.
Ride me.
Seething, I watched them turn the corner, and walk off into the dusk.
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If I didn't have a need to keep quiet, I'm sure that I would have just lost it at that penultimate sentence.
Fate conspires to kick Jerry in the balls once again doesn't it? Does all the worst luck in that universe happen to him specifically?
It'll be interesting when Lyra gets her own chapter.
2727823
Sometimes I wonder why the universe screws Jerry at every turn, and then I remember that I'm the one that controls this universe.
my head canon (not actual canon, mind you) for this story is that Jerry has the universe's most well intentioned yet incompetent guardian angel.
lawl
Ohhhhhhh shiiiiitttt!!! Can't wait for next chapter!!!
"Two shakes of a lamb's tail." It seems to me like somebody has recently seen Pulp Fiction. Also, double entrendre's for the win!
Damn, I feel so sorry for the schadenfreude I feel whenever fate screws Jerry over.
Lucky, looks like your luck....
Jerry
*puts on glasses
just ran out.
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
(you have no idea how i feel saying that)
Lyra
wow.....
this is awesome and DA FEELS and DA LOLS and DA RACISM
Well, fuck
Shit is gonna go down, probably resulting in a fight between Lucky and Jerry
Then Twilight is going to throw a fit
Then the shit that went down earlier will hit the fan
this story is amazing!
followin'
Huh. Seems like Lucky's plan backfired. I wanted to add a pun in there but... couldn't think of one close enough. Something relating backs and saddle or riding, though.
2727875
Ha, though I hope we don't end up with this becoming a bit like the Prequel webcomic.
Daamn, he's gonna get screwed up because he's in between a love sick guy and a pervert girl!
At this point I'm expecting Jerry to be beaten to death by a group of ponies. I honestly can't see any other way for this to end. Pretty much all of Ponyville hates him and views him as a monster, and I doubt that's going to change.
Dang, Drama just got real.
It is so hard to read this sometimes.....
Well. That went well.
Also AFAKJSBFJAHBCDHASDHBUJY NEW CHAPTER THIS IS AWESOME.
I DEMAND MORE!!!!
I'll assume that the whole "ride me" thing is being taken way out of context... but still, an angry mob does seem to be the next step. poor poor Jerry
I really like the idea of Lyra being a mute. Keep on writing
Manure is going to hit the fan
2728190
oh my god this is precisely what this fanfiction reminds me of
So, Lucky is a sociopathic dick. The kind that thinks that they can do no wrong, by far the worst, and saddest type of person you will ever meet.
I have a feeling things are not going to go well for Jerry soon.
Poor Lucky, I hope everything works out for him. I hope he doesn't do anything crazy.
And Lyra really needs to directly tell Lucky their relationship is over already; avoiding him seems to just be stringing him along.
Author i like your take on HiE. It's positively refreshing. I ask for more and frequently.
The thought of using the perspective of the ponies is perfect.
One thing I noticed:
Most likely it was intended to be 'I was young and in love'.
2728577
I know right?
...oh. Oh dear.
As soon as Jerry and Lyra showed up I saw the train wreck coming. I actually covered my eyes until I remembered that does no good in written mediums. So instead I peaked between my fingers.
Agh. Jerry. Jerry, honey. Why are you a walking disaster? (I feel like you should have some waterwings or something.)
Still waiting for Celestia to show up and fix this racist mess...
2729014 yeah, if I where in his situation I'd go to Canterlot, and tell the princesses. Ten I'd get all up in Fluttershy's face and say "U mad bro? Huh huh? U mad?" And Luna would join in and go "Yes, art thou frustrated, dear Fluttershy?" And me and Luna would go around trolling Ponyville.
Oh nooooooo
damn, this story is actually making me feel bad for Jerry. can't wait for the next chapter!
I LIKE IT, i.imgur.com/R9Kyaa6.gif
So, is every...pony(I still can't get used to that after all this time...) supposed to be horrible and specist against everything different than them? Because they've all been hateful little balls of ignorance and prejudice. And they're not getting better.
Lyra, Jerry, Cheerilee, and Spike are literally the only ones that aren't a complete fucking twat in this story.
Waiting for the I am not an animal I am a man speech
2728190 there was a prequel comic? Where
why do they keep calling him an animal because last time i checked animals can't talk and don't wear clothes
2729394
It's not a Prequel to this (Despite it's name) it's a comic called prequel.
http://www.prequeladventure.com/
I don't think Fluttershy would freak out if she meets a meat eating creature
Ponies: you're go to guys when you want Fantastic Racism
He can talk, he can think, he can create, and he can kill.
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK HE COULDN'T FIX A PIPE!?
When the ponies finally decide to run him out of town and back to Everfree, Lucky will condemn him just the same for stealing
hisLyra.Jenny hanging out with little ponies in saddles, I see?
I love you Jurry but you can't be doing that, c'mon.
But in all seriousness I like where you're taking this story.
2728664
Poor Lucky?? He's abusive. Read between the lines. Lyra gets a black eye when they argue at the house Lucky is fixing. He has swings of mood from hating her to not being able to live without her. Oh, and of course, he takes her out after hitting her and tells her he loves her, in a classic move used by violent people to play on their victims emotions. Bon Bon isn't a bitch, she's protecting Lyra. Of course, this chapter is from his point of view, so we aren't told this, but if you think about it, all the signs are there.
Well played, author. Well played.
So, when is Jerry going to get angry?
I mean, he's suffering from severe malnutrition, is openly feared and hated by nearly everyone, and Twilight openly talks about dumping him out in the wilderness. Why doesn't he call her out on that? Point out that he comes from a civilisation, that back home he got his food from a supermarket, and that he'd just starve to death or be eaten if thrown into the Everfree? Why doesn't he say something like "Christ, Twilight, if you want to kill me could you just do it right now rather than taking the slow route?"
Why doesn't anyone communicate in these situations?!
2729816 I just thought Lucky was in denial and was waaay too much of a drama queen. I missed the abuse thing completely. Nice observation.
I can just see this going on as every good thing in Jerry's life is taken from him bit by bit. Every time leaving him a little more destitute and broken. Until finally his very life is taken from him, either from the ponies around him or by his own hand.
2729816
Oh, I see. Yeah, that does explain a few things.