popflygov
Joined 19th Dec, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Gallifrey · 63k words · 365 24 · 6.3k views
- RoninPony · 3.8k words · 258 27 · 13k views
- PaladinColt · 2.3k words · 95 12 · 3.9k views
- Neon Czolgosz · 3.3k words · 382 17 · 12k views
- Gallifrey · 21k words · 323 22 · 9.5k views
- DWhay · 11k words · 200 22 · 3.7k views
- Marshal Twilight · 7.6k words · 331 41 · 9.5k views
Featured In16
Clopfics11,592 stories ·15,846 members
Rule 631,250 stories ·3,997 members
M/M Shipping1,294 stories ·2,814 members
One-Shots18,996 stories ·2,371 members
TwiDash1,191 stories ·4,237 members
My Little Fetish16,683 stories ·8,595 members
The Coltcuddlers1,177 stories ·2,216 members
The Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau49,556 stories ·5,475 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.284 seconds
Total duration
980 users online
2,010,447 hits today, 2,673,812 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I hardly see M/M
Keep up the good work
Nice M/M, liked it.
Very nice for your first fic. I love M/M.
Same cover as Galliffrey's The Colours of Dusk (not really a problem, there's at least three dozen stories having the same 'sad dash' cover) Just felt like putting it in here because it took me more than just a moment it wasn't a sequel to that one.
Definitely going to give this one a try sometime though.
4531066 Thanks for pointing that out. I'll be sure to make a note of that in the description.
Always great to see some genderswapped M/M pairings. Good overall, however, there was one problem:
Not sure if this was an accident or not but just so you know, never have two different speakers in the same paragraph.
4530327 Thank you for the encouragement.
4530722 Glad you liked it.
4531015 Thanks for that. I've got plans for other stories.
4531021 Well, it's not my first fic ever, just my first here and my first in nearly a decade. Still, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
4531510 Good point. I missed that during my read through. I'll make the change.
Barbs comment at the end
4531703 Yep.
4532944 best thing ever
4531066
No worries on using the same picture at all, my friend! I don't own it, hehe.
)
By the way, the story was super cute and really hot at the same time, congrats on a great gaytacular fic! (Please do more.
Hmmmm... I like it,i favorite it
4533334 Thank you!
4533802 I'm glad you enjoyed it!
nice little fic , lol so much twidash shipping from this fandom......
All hail R63
not too shabby, friend.
WHY on earth can we not have more dirty gay clop? I adore it, and there's just not enough.
-Chessie
4539219 indeed
Princess? Shouldn't it be Prince?
EDIT: Never mind. But why are Celestia and Luna still female while everypony else is reversed?
4560342 In this case, it was intentional. I can't explain why, but it just felt weird to change them.
Ultra mega pro error finding, go:
Cause should be because due to cause meaning something completely different.
The ellipsis should be connected to I here.
There should be a space between the previous sentence and the dialog here.
Same problem with the ellipsis as before.
Two full stops at the end of that sentence, should (obviously) only be one.
Same problem with the ellipsis here.
Ditto.
Should probably be a comma instead of a full stop at the end of the dialog there.
That sentence, because of the sometimes tacked on at the end, makes little to no sense when said aloud.
Can't really pinpoint it, but that sentence made me reread it a few times to understand what Dusk said. And it sounds oddly informal for Dusk/Twilight, but given this is smut I'll forgive it.
Is should be his.
Exact same error as before with the exact same fix.
Same problem as four before this (full stop should be comma)
Blasted ellipsis, they're doing it all over aren't they?
That's only half the story and I have work to do. Sorry for not being able to finish.
4594197 I appreciate the suggested fixes. The ellipsis, however, is being used correctly. According to this website, and I'll simply quote the part that is relevant here:
So thanks again, I'll make changes based on your critique. I hope you'll critique the rest of it as well.
Rest of the psuedo-proofreading is below:
Comma instead of a full stop. On a less important note, what about that screams pleading...? Not criticizing your choice of words, I'm just curious.
Same concern as above with the full stop instead of a comma.
While this isn't grammatical or spelling per se, it's worth noting horse anatomy while using words like these.
For example, look at this picture and double check that flank is what you're looking for here: Here
You'd be surprised how often people get that wrong.
Same silly full stop instead of comma mistake here. In the future I'll refer to this as the Comma Mistake, because I tire of writing this out.
Thrusted isn't a word, to the best of my knowledge. I think you're looking for thrust. Also note that in the paragraph this sentence is in, you used the word he to start quite a few sentences. Got kind of repetitive, try mixing it up a bit.
What barrier..? How have I not heard of this barrier before now after all this time? Unless you mean the sphincter, which in that case, well, you have some cleanup to do with this paragraph and the couple before it
A Comma Mistake occurred here.
At this point in time I am 98.7% sure those are grammatical mistakes, base on your rule.
There's a Comma Mistake here.
4595249 Well I'm going to have to update my punctuation rules. Thanks for the correction!
4596746 Thanks!
4596746 Made changes based on your critique today. Thanks again.
bad barb you should not watch them. good story
Nice story man nothing else to say
4680484 Thanks! I love your avatar!
4745985 That's alright. Thanks for reading; I'm glad you enjoyed it.
4758153 like your avatar to
Nice M/M. I liked it......Barb you perv!
But seriously, good job. 
4908496 thanks very much
4908553 You're very welcome my friend. In fact, here you go.
>~> good story.
5068843 Glad you think so.
5069726 we will never speak of this again.
5070413 speak of what again?
5070802 the M/M- Ohhhh I see what you did there.
These r63 clopfics are really growing on me. It was a cute story and I really enjoyed it.
Keep up the good work dear author, you've earned a fav and another follower.
5341093
Glad to hear it. Thanks very much.
Okay, as much as i liked this story, and say it deserves an upvote. I have to say one thing.
"Ah How romantic" is not a way to respond after you have just watched your sibiling fuck their boyfriend...
)
(Im not saying its Wrong. I am just saying I was finding it so weird that it was hard not to laugh
5417418 That was the idea!
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
5418764
It was quite well done.
But now I have only one question...
Wait, this is your only story?
5419711 For now.
I have other ones that I'm working on, but it's been taking a lot of time. Mostly cause I'm having trouble getting them to turn out how I want.
5419724
Well Then I need to put a watch on you, because I want to read more
Very nice. But remember kids, this is just a fantasy. No butt stuff without lube! Can you get away with it? Sure. Can it feel good? Sure. Is it worth a trip to the ER with a torn rectum? Fuck no.
7347806 Well said. I almost put a spot at the end about that where Dusk would be in pain afterwords, but I decided against it thinking I didn't want to kill the mood. Even still, that's a good point to anyone looking for advice about butt sex on a brony fiction site.
7347806 It's possible, if you use a lot of spit though...
7484057
7484092 Again, you can avoid a trip in an ambulance if you use enough, trust me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)