“Wake up Starswirl, it’s time to go,” Twilight said as she pushed at the pile of blankets on top of the bed with her forehooves.
Deep within the mound, Starswirl coughed. “Uhhgghh, I’m sick. I think we’ll have to do this another day... Uhhgghh.” There was a long silence, long enough that Starswirl was pretty sure that he had gotten away with it. Then he was levitated out of the bed, blankets and all.
Twilight’s voice came from below him, “Thats not going to work Starswirl. Procrastination is the greatest enemy of ponykind.”
“I don’t see why I have to do this anyway. I’m perfectly happy right here. This whole farce is just a waste of time, TIME I could be using to unlock the secrets of the universe!”
“The magic of friendship makes a researcher more effective in the long run.” Twilight said sagely, as if she wasn't 20 years younger than him.
Starswirl pushed away the blankets, then teleported out of Twilight’s levitation field and appeared in front of her. “That’s complete jibber jabber and you know it!” Twilight looked like she wanted to interrupt, but Starswirl plowed ahead. “Besides I’m a big stallion, I can make my own decisions and you can’t stop me.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes at him. “I could.”
“Really?” Starswirl asked sarcastically, “What are you going to do? Hold me down and force me?”
Twilight’s cheeks went slightly red, “Since that’s what you did to me when you wanted a blood sample. It’d be only fair if I did the same too you.” Twilight paused before continuing, “If you don’t give it your best today I don’t see why I should let you continue experimenting with my alicorn magic.”
One of Starswirl’s eyes twitched, “You wouldn't!”
Twilight crouched down, narrowing her eyes, “Try me.”
Starswirl gritted his teeth, the little alicorn had him by the beard, or more specifically by the crystal ball filled with her purified magical essence. “Fine,” he grumbled. “But if it doesn't work out today, you’ll stop pestering me with this whole friendship thing.”
“Great!” Twilight said with a beaming smile, as if she hadn’t just blackmailed the older unicorn. “Let’s start with your neighbor, you can introduce us.”
Starswirl immediately had second thoughts about the whole thing. Rosebud could be even worse than her daughter. Starswirl cast his mind back to the few times when he had left his tower. What ponies had he met? There was that baker… a complete bint. What about the mare at the post office? An utter twerp. The mailmare? The very definition of a knob head. Starswirl grimaced, He’d rather make friends with a timberwolf than any of them.
Twilight titled her head at him, still smiling. “Shall we go?”
“If we have to do this… can we at least make it interesting?” Starswirl asked.
Twilight shot him a suspicious glance, “What do you have in mind?”
Starswirl adopted a thoughtful expression, tapping his chin. “Well, since all the ponies of today are all muppets of one form or another. I propose that we travel forward in time and look for friendship there. Preferably to a time when everypony was better educated.” Starswirl smiled to himself, this way, no potential ‘friends’ he made would be able to come bother him in his tower later.
Twilight looked sceptical, “Wouldn't that defeat the purpose?”
Starswirl raised both his eyebrows with pretend shock. “Twilight, are you saying that friendship can’t bridge a gap in time?... Are you saying that our friendship is meaningless?”
It was Twilight’s turn to grit her teeth, “No, that’s not what I’m saying!”
“So you have no objections to travel forward a few centuries then?” Starswirl asked.
“I suppose I don’t,” Twilight replied grudgingly, teeth still gritted.
“Excellent,” Starswirl said with a smile, "Lets begin the preparations".
------
Princess Celestia sat in her throne, a cup of tea in her hooves and a tray with several slices of cake just to the side. Cake, what a marvelous thing. Celestia smiled to herself, she needed to think of a reward for Clover the Clever. Had the little filly not informed her that Starswirl was hosting a female guest each day, Celestia wouldn't have set that fated appointment that taught her the wonder of cake. Celestia shuddered, thinking on what she could have missed. Clover should definitely be rewarded. Maybe a promotion?
“Chamberlain, is our spymaster still around?” Celestia asked.
“We never had one, Your Highness” replied the unicorn, standing by the base of her throne.
Celestia tapped her chin, frowning. “Sure we did! What was his name again… hmm, Oregano!”
“The SPICE master?” the chamberlain asked.
“Yes him! Demote him back down to special agent.” Celestia replied. The chamberlain blinked, as he tried to make sense of his orders. Realizing that there must be some kind of misunderstanding, he opened his mouth. But before he could say anything, Celestia continued, “Then head down to the archives and let them know that Clover the Clever is our new spymaster.” Celestia paused for a moment. “Also, give her a title, something fitting… like ‘Mistress of Whispers.’”
The chamberlain raised both his eyebrows in a look that said ‘you can’t be serious’, “The Mistress of Whispers…”
“What?” Celestia asked, narrowing her eyes at the unicorn, “It’s a good title.”
“If you say so Princess,” the chamberlain replied resignedly, before turning and trotting away to do her bidding.
“And bring up today’s letters from our subjects, we wish to read them!” Celestia shouted after him, before leaning back in her throne, and helping herself to another slice of cake. The alicorn wondered how many letters would she get today. 30? 40? She gasped, maybe even 50!
She didn’t have to wait long before the chamberlain trotted back up to her throne, two letters clutched in his magical grip. She blinked at them, “That’s it?”
The chamberlain sighed, “Why are you always surprised? Most of your subjects can't write. And those who can mostly send complaints, which as you surely recall, you instructed me to burn.”
Celestia waved a dismissive hoof, “Yes, yes... of course. Still, only two?”
The chamberlain sighed, “If you want more subjects, why not take Princess Platinum up on her offer and merge your kingdom with the one she is establishing up north. In fact, I think one of these letters are from her, asking Your Highness to do just that.”
“We shall consider it… later,” Celestia said.
“But...” the Chamberlain began before being interrupted.
“Is the other letter from our new spymaster?” Celestia asked eagerly, as she grabbed the mentioned letter with her magic, and levitating it up to her face. “Ooooooh, this is wonderful.” Celestia enjoyed reading Clover’s reports almost as much as she enjoyed acclamations of her subjects, almost. Lowering her eyes to the text she began to read.
To Princess Celestia with all titles attached. This is status report #103 sent by your most secret and special agent Clover the Clever.
A lot of things have happened this week, so for the sake of limited paperspace, I’m forced to limit the amount of ‘juicy details’ as you call them.
Celestia felt a little surge of disappointment at that, the details were the best part.
Know that Uncle Swirly smiled a whole 40% more this week than ever before. I’m positive that it would've been even more, if my efforts hadn’t been impeded by that purple unicorn, Twilight Sparkle. Whom has been hounding Uncle Swirly all week making his life miserable. I’m not sure of her purpose, but I think she might be a time traveling tailor trying to push her outfits and herself at Uncle Swirly. (Attached to this letter you’ll find sketches of both her and the costume she forced Uncle Swirly to wear.)
Celestia grinned, so Twilight Sparkle had been that adorable unicorns name. She unclipped the mentioned sketches from the back of the report. She looked at the one depicting Starswirl, and began laughing uncontrollably. Are… Are those bells? Oh, this was just too good. Celestia swallowed, trying to get herself under control. “Chamberlain go and show this to our sister. Maybe it’ll put a smile on her face for once.”
The chamberlain took the sketch, looked at it, and snickered.
“We’re glad to see that you have a sense of humor after all,” Celestia said smiling, as the chamberlain trotted off. Celestia turned back to the report.
However, I’ve had to reevaluate this assessment after Twilight Sparkle appeared as an alicorn this saturday. Something I had been informed, WAS IMPOSSIBLE, by a certain Princess with suns on her butt.
Celestia blinked at the text before reading it again, just to be sure. That… that was impossible. But if it was true, Celestia would need to sit down and have a long talk with this Twilight Sparkle. Frowning, Celestia read on.
Now, using the purple one as a sample, Uncle Swirly is researching alicorn magic. Something I know that you didn’t want him to do.
Your most secret and special agent Clover the Clever.
PS: The purple one used her wicked alicorn magic on me to make me confess my true purpose. Uncle Swirly is really angry with you. I suggest you stay away from windows in the near future.
Celestia sucked in air between clenched teeth. This was bad, very bad. Hadn’t she informed him on multiple occasions of the extreme danger such research would entail. And still he was doing it. Celetia had to put a stop to it.
Grabbing a quill and a fresh piece of paper, Celestia wrote quickly.
To our most secret and special agent Clover the Clever.
Our royal self have a request of the utmost importance to make of you. You must break into the tower and destroy everything related to Starswirl’s alicorn research, and bring the research journal to us. Do this and we swear that the name ‘Clover the Clever’ will be remembered and respected throughout the ages, gaining a place in all history books.
We’re aware that this will be your most dangerous mission yet. However, we have complete faith in your abilities. Make us proud.
Bollocks
I see Celestia was considerably more... well, childish a thousand plus years back xD
I like that. She can't have been that serene her entire life, after all.
Lol,celestia is cuntfaget
Heheheheh-
Starswirl's going to go forward in time permanently, isn't he?
Just sitting here laughing and facehoofing at various sections of dialogue, don't mind me...
Nice chapter, good job.
Oh my
4745582
I honestly thought he was going to mess up in the middle of experimenting with alicorn magic and become discord.
Sudden twist!
Clover lights sgarwswirls entire house on fire, starwswirl has a heart attack.
Though the house destroyed all the alicorn research was destroyed, so true to her word Celeatia put Clover in the history books.
Mean while star swirl dies...
Future twilighgs is disappointed greatly in Celestia, Then Celestia goes back in time, to stop her from doing it or minimise the damage.
Past Celestia calls Future Celestia an old hag and doesnt listen until its to late(the fire) then hearing the news, past Celestia shrugs it off and rewards Clover.
She never knew Star swirl died because Future Celestia interfered and stopped a courier by accident and gave him a minor case of amnesia.
So today only Twilight knew about star swirls death, but no one believe her not even Celestia because through time she believed he ran away into hiding.
starting the cycle of time again, but Future Celestia 2 has less information then Future Celestia had her memories changed because time calibrated her brain to correspond with time.
As the cycle continues each Celestia gets less information about who starswifl was. Until eventually Star swirl was wiped off history and only thought of as an old crazy stallion.
But because of the order by Past Celestia, Clover does as she says dispute her being like 8 years old, she poisons Star swirl water and food supply, thus killing star swirl, thus wiping him off history.
Don't mess with time
Sry if this is confusing, I'm using back to the future and doctor who science here, so it might be hard to understand in the middle.
....I get the feeling that Celly is going to be effed up.
Awesome Update!
;_;
Oh God... This upcoming shit storm will be epic. One does NOT fuck with Researchers research.
How long well he Throw Clver 1 mile 5 miles Or 500 Miles per hour?
hipsterrunoff.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/800/extreme-bro-red-bull.jpg
EXTREME FALLING
Ah so this is how Discord is created
4746494 Nah, this is how we got Princess Erroria.
4745522 She matured greatly after being molested by Discord.
At least according to that one artist...
4746790 I bet that ended badly for everyone in the area, likely involving lots of fire.
This is completely horrifying!! That little Clover is a Monster!!
Also more proof that Luna is Best Princess!!
4746971 We have not yet seen what diabolical instruments of doom lurk in Past Luna's room.
Perhaps... The Comfy Chair!!!
I've got a bad feeling about this.
You know, the kind that I get when-
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS EXTREME SPORTS-PONIES! YAAAAAAY!"
Oh god.
4747490
But not quite as bad as 'CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS NUCLEAR ENGINEERS'?
4746275 fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/219/a/a/spike_shitstorm_by_drzackrosimagemacros-d5a65m0.png
4746473
No... There will be no throwing, there will be no shouting, all there will be is the silent rage behind his eyes. Clover will be dead to him and he'll blame it all on Twilight. If she didn't take him out of his tower he could have stopped Clover.
I could predict more but I don't wanna corrupt the authors head.
she's gonna get the "revised" journal
4747228 Dear god! And if they've already had to endure the gauntlet of the fluffy pillows, none will survive!
Mercy I beseech!
I think we may be related,
I foresee..
Starswirl, in the Starswirl library wing. He's enclosed in a book fort, being confronted by Celestia and Twilight
Twilight "You have to come out of there!"
Starswirl: "No! And you can't make me! I'm protected by an invulnerable fortress of knowledge!"
Celestia "I always wondered if you two were related."
4748928 and then it turns out that twilight is her own great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandma.
Haha, sabotage!
4745522
Indeed, and I like to think that the coming battles are what matured her.
4745643
You have a dirty mind Everfree... dirty, dirty.
4746087
Thanks for pointing out the errors. Also, I hope that sad frown is because there was no more chapters to read.
4746790
Ah, Alondro. I want you to know that in the first draft of this, the old spymaster had your name and was locked in the dungeon for being completely insane.
4747704
I am a beacon of light and purity. Corrupting me is impossible... hahahahaha!.
4747490
"I don't sense anything." - Qui Gon Jinn
4747704 But can he throw me Couplr feet in the and With a bit speed so i can free fall?
FREE FALLING SPEED IS KEY
4749169 I'll have you know that my insanity is the result of intense mental training and discipline!
I would have expected this to be Trixie instead of Twilight considering that it is Trixie the super nerd who seems to travel back in time to met Starswirl in the comics rather Twilight
4750482
That's the silliest thing I have ever heard. The comics copied my idea... but used Trixie instead of Twilight? That's stupid on so many levels. Twilight is clearly the superior choice.
This story is just so hilarious.
4750660
Ah, I see, Valimar confirmed for ignoring canon X3
4756265
What kind of gibberish is this?! I haven't read the comics... but I heard that Daring Do isn't real in them, so they can't possibly be canon.
4756570 well, there was suave and good king Sombra, that Rainbow Trixie combo, Nightmare Rarity, Chrysallys eating puppies, I say that's enough to make them canon!
4750987
no, there's no such thing as an 'unstable time loop', that's called a paradox, and it inherently CANNOT exist. They cause problems.
4761961 A stable time loop can also technically be called a paradox
4768749
No, it can't.
A paradox is a statement, idea, or action that contradicts itself, but still might be true. In logic, this tends to be things like 'does a list of all lists that don't contain themselves contain itself?', while in terms of time travel, it is almost exclusively used to refer to events that prevent the conditions that led to the time travel. Since a stable time loop is an event that causes the conditions that led to the time travel, it is, by definition, not a paradox.
4768720 You'd have to know where I hid the backups in the dark recesses of the Internets!
4769764 However, stable time loops CAN often contain what is called the 'initiation paradox', in which the event that triggers the 'start' of the loop in the past is fundamentally dependent on the actions of the future.
The question becomes, can that loop have started independently? If not, causality presents a major problem for the time loop.
4770855
No, there IS no beginning- it can be referred to however you like, but the idea of a stable time loop is one of the three explanations for how time travel could work, and is explicitly NOT a paradox. From a logical perspective, it might compromise a paradox, but from a 'temporal' perspective, it does not.
The loop doesn't need to start independently- if it did, it would not be a stable time loop. Causality is only relevant for as long as time remains a straight line- when it becomes the wibbly-wobbly mess that time travel makes of it, or even just precognition for that matter- causality stops meaning anything significant. Even ignoring time loops, if I meet myself from the future, I might choose to take more risks as a result of it- after all, he seems to have survived all right. You're seeing a situation in which the result is causing the cause, and that inherently doesn't work with standard causality. You need to abandon that kind of notion, because it won't help you to understand time travel in any fiction.
Well, aside from Back to the Future, because that movie is nucking futs.
Literally the first thing to enter my mind was this:
Also, we now know how Clover became so famous in history: by being an absolute jerk for hire
Oh, dear. For some reason at the beginning of this chapter I imagined Starswirl having a voice like Belethor the trader, from Skyrim.
I see the birth of Discord coming about
5217276 The combination of Pinkie's magic with Twilight's?