you left the storie slightly open ended. meaning you COULd write a sequel... but this time around PLEASE get a proofreader... the grammerand some spelling was MURDER!!!

517113 it was outside that is why.

also the ending ws no really mature since there was not anything in mature like sex in it meaningit is more around thelines of teen...

517831oh, shut up and enjoy it man!
this was a cool story(with an awful lot of sex)
and if there's one thing I agree with you
its the whole open ended thing
now mr author if you dont mind
I am happy to say
I FUCKING LOVE THIS STORY!
NOW HAVE CUTE CASTIEL
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/199/1/2/Cas__Guardian_Angel_by_blackbirdrose.jpg

Well it seems BBB you were right they rally became pregnant and it seems they really happy. I liked you made an open end so we can imagine how the other ponies reacted the news. Too bad I can't imagine how Princess Celestia reacted to the news because I have the feeling she heared from it.

Was it good ? YES YES

517814
I completely agree with an outside sequel and a proofreader, but it isn't his fault really. He is just trying to keep a pace for us readers. Also if you do make a sequel Spades, I would love to be a proofreader, because I don't read many stories with OCs but yours sets a bar for the rest

518568 Her reaction was this. Recives message - Dear Celestia, blah blah blah blah x 200 and you would never guess what hapened with Esbin and his marefriends it turns out that at the 'sleepover' he got all 3 pregnant which is great though I think he was a little unprepaired. Your student Twilight Sparkle. Celestia"Wow Esbin you are very lucky... (a few minutes later) Wait wait wait marefriends!? As in more than one!? He is totaly doomed. Well more for me to laugh at." *picks up quill and paper* Dear Twilight, tell Esbin I said HA HA HA HA YOU ARE SOO SCREWED!! Princess Trollestia. *sends letter*

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No words can describe how awesome this is

523704
LOL

oh gosh... ^_^

the story was amazing. i loved it. but i have a few things i'd like to say.
1: try not to make the story awkward with the words "cock" "vagina" etc... try using codenames for them like "marehood" for vaginas and "stallionhood" for cocks
2: grammar seemed a bit off, but i could understand most of it
3: try to use paragraphs more often. i lost track on who was talking sometimes
all in all amazing story. but since it was a clopfic whenever i read clocktower, i read cock tower...

I love this story...does that make me an egg head?

you have written a beautiful work here i hope my redo of my fic turns out as good as this one

I was so looking forward to reading this. It's been sitting on my "Read Later" list, waiting for me to find some free time. But the grammar. I don't mean to be rude, but I can't read it like this. Definitely try and find a proofreader.

Right... Comprehensive review...
Aside from grammar and spelling, which you've already acknowledged, the story is very well done. It does a good job of portraying the characters, and it does a good job of moving the plot a decent pace. Each of the Crusaders seems true to who they are, while at the same time they do seem to be a bit more mature than they were in their youths, which makes sense. Right from the beginning I could see where this whole story was going, but that didn't detract from the story that much.
The chapters were well paced, and I didn't feel like there was too much rushing of emotions. The fact that they had known each other for so long added to the fact that changes in the tone of the relationship were more acceptable. One thing that may add to the story, is a bit more history between the crusaders. It's well established that the four are good friends, but I feel like there could have been a bit more said about what they had done together. Perhaps go into a bit more detail about what caused each of them to realize what made Esbin right for them. Scootaloo, for example, didn't really seem to show that much interest in Esbin as more than a friend till after the race. I don't know if I missed it, or I simply forgot, but it seemed to me that her relationship was the most rushed.

Plot Development: 9/10 You do a good job with pacing, and keeping things interesting. Not much room for improvement, but no one's perfect.
Character Development: 8/10 Some of it feels like it was forced. More of it was good, than bad, though.
Grammar, and Spelling: --/10 You warned me before I started, and so I won't judge you on it. To be fair, though, you showed quite a bit of improvement as you went along.
Accuracy to Canon Material: 9/10 You advanced the setting quite a few years, so there's no telling what has happened in the mean time, but what could be compared seemed accurate enough for me. Good work here.
Overall: 26/30 Pretty damn good. 86.7 percent is a pretty good grade. Although, since I liked it I'm kicking it up to a 90. I look forward to seeing more from you in the future.

woah, just woah i can never believe that a person made this wonderful romance story. you must be a god!!!

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Wow! Is it 4am already? I absolutely LOVED this. Thumbs Up! Going on my watch list! Here have a mustache.

Awesome story love everything about it!

Fantastic.

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WHY AM I SUCH A PERV?!

1412551
Thank you very much, I really appreciate your opinion.

Really loved this story alot and totally agree this needs a sequel. Not only is he now gonna need to take of his 3 friends but in about 10 months he's gonna need to care for least 3 foals or possibly even 4? Better hope all the families will help out a bit with everything. He is so gonna need a good paying job and a big house for all of that lol.

THEY SHALL BE THE MOST FUCKED UP CHILDREN EVER. THEY WILL BE CALLED APPLE SHIT, SWEATY BALLS, AND BRONCANUS.

What an awesome work you did there :D
Even it's not "proofread", that's just soooooooooo fucking good ! :D